The scene is the kitchen of Christina's light and airy apartment. In the room are Christina in a sky blue sweater and jeans, Yana in some black leggings and a red t-shirt and Mira in a black sweater dress. Christina looks at her phone. "Amazing! The...

What Do You Do with a Chocolate Cream Pie (Song: What Will You Do with a Drunken Sailor) What do you do with a chocolate cream pie What do you do with a chocolate cream pie What do you do with a chocolate cream pie Ear-lie in the morning (chorus---...

Veta hummed to herself as she arranged the pies on the tables throughout the hotel suite. Her short blonde hair was tucked behind her ears, and her green eyes sparkled with satisfaction at her handiwork. Each pie was a masterpiece--fourteen inches wi...

The Slime is Not Enough (song: The World is Not Emough) (with apologies to David Arnold and Don Black) (suggested by Piboiva) I'm under the slime A feeling sublime Be covered in goo A helluva time I turn my face up To feel the sweet touch No one ev...

Ira is in a Moscow Park wearing a red long sleeved, snug bright red top, a black leather mini skirt and some knee high black leather boots but more important she is in a really good mood. It has been a great couple of days on the practical pranks fro...

Afternoon Pie Fight (song: Afternoon Delight) (with apologies to Bill Danoff) (suggested by Creamedguy2) Gonna call my buddies, gonna do them right Gonna host me 'n afternoon pie fight My motto's always been, "there's a pie in flight" Is there anyth...

Her wrists were bound with soft silk rope, arms stretched above her head and secured to the sturdy hook they'd installed in the ceiling months ago. Emma stood naked, her body on full display--slender waist, full breasts, smooth skin that caught the l...

No Way to Pie (song: No Time to Die) (with apologies to Hans Zimmer, Billie Eilish, and Finneas O'Connell) (suggested by piboiva) I should've known I'd pie alone It just goes to show That the pie you throw Is just the pie you owe We threw a pair Bu...

The hotel bar was elegant but relaxed, with low lighting that created small pools of intimacy around each table. Rebecca sat at the corner of the bar, nursing a gin and tonic while half-heartedly scrolling through her phone. She was in town for a con...

The Pie is on my Face (Song: "The Writing is on the Wall) (with apologies to Sam Smith) I've been here before But always hit the door I've spent a lifetime running And I always get away But with you I'm feeling something That makes me want to stay...

[aka the proof that I really can both bring in a story more or less below 2k words and also be the main slop stooge myself on occasion! :-P] It is only 8pm in the evening and you are already regretting your life choices. It had seemed like such a s...

(Story for an anonymous requestor) Victoria smiled nervously as she stood behind her podium awaiting her opponent to appear. Usually, she had no fears appearing in public, even when semi-naked, but tonight was different as not only was appearing as...

The Mud Boat (song: The Love Boat theme) (with apologies to Paul Williams and Charlie Fox) Mud Boat Mud--it's creamy and deep Come aboard, and the mud will seep Mud, just water and dirt Mix it up, it sticks onto you The Mud Boat, soon will be making...

The Unwinnable Bet 2 I could hear Meagan cheerily on her phone with her friends. "Yes, we were still on for tomorrow, no, no need to bring anything, it was all taken care of." I clawed at the silk rope, now sticky with whipped cream, finally looseni...

When Johnny Comes Throwing Pies! (with apologies to Patrick S. Gilmore) When Johnny comes throwing pies again, kersplat, kersplat When Johnny comes throwing pies again, kersplat, kersplat The pies will fly; the men will duck And all the women, they...

Glory, Glory, I will pie you Mine eyes have seen the inside of a Graham Cracker crust And the cream covered my head so much I hardly could adjust When the pies go flying it does energize my lust My pies go flying on. Glory, glory, I will pie you Gl...

Christmas Pies (song: Jingle Bells) To the store we go, Buying our supplies Then we knead our dough Preparing our surprise We smell crusts we bake, We set them out to cool And we know that they will break When thrown by stooge or fool, Oh, (choru...

I've written numerous What Would You Do tribute stories, envisioning a spinoff where a wilder version of the show somehow finds its way to late night TV. This is the latest installment, the full version of which you can find on my Patreon (patreon.co...

I Was Born Under a Wallowing Star (Song: "I Was Born Under a Wandering Star" from "Paint Your Wagon" (with apologies to Lerner and Loewe) I was born under a wallowing star I was born to find the mud from afar I was made for mud, rolling in the muck...

Aaron stepped closer to James, his smirk widening as he leaned in, his voice a low, velvet threat. "Beg for mercy, James. Humiliate yourself. Maybe I'll go easy on you." James clenched his jaw, his pride flaring even as his heart raced. "Go to hell,...

The mirror reflected perfection. James adjusted his red silk braces, the fabric smooth and cool against his fingertips, and smirked at his reflection. The black tuxedo was impeccable, tailored to hug his frame with precision, but it was the redthat m...

Pieing Me Softly (song: Killing Me Softly, Roberta Flack lyrics) (with apologies to Charles Fox and Norman Kimbel) (chorus) Strumming my heartstrings by pieing Giving me thrills with his throws Pieing me softly with his hands Pieing me softly with h...

I'm Dreaming of a White Pi Day (song: White Christmas) (with apologies to Irving Berlin) I'm dreaming of a white Pi Day Just like the one I had last year, With the cream pies smooshing Into faces smiling And goo dripping onto clothes I'm dreaming o...

I'm in the Mood for Wam (with apologies to Jimmy McHugh and Dorothy Fields) I'm in the mood for wam Simply because you're creamy Honey, but when you're creamy I'm in the mood for wam Chocolate is in your eyes Dark as the night we're under Oh, is it...

Let them Fly (Sung to the melody of "Let it Go" from "Frozen") (with apologies to Idina Menzel) The cream glows white on the paper plates Ready to do their thing A promise of much messiness All these pies that I should fling The pies are creating t...