The dirtiest site in the world℠
Carmella, The UMD Goddess
Some folks might fancy a little whipped cream and chocolate to kink up a sexy evening. But some of us would fill a baby pool of it first. Some people like to eat their pudding, and some people like it better dribbled down the front of their suit jackets and into their laps. Most people shower without clothes, but some think clothes are an enhancement of the experience.
Such are the quirks of this gathering place by and for people who enjoy "sploshing," or getting "wet and messy." We affectionately call it "wam," and it means getting covered in any icky, sticky, mushy, slippery, or wet substance, as long as it originates from outside the body. Some of us find a rebellious pleasure in totally slopping up some nice clothes while they're being worn. Some others of us find it most exotic and sensual for an unclothed body to be slathered in the slipperiest, wettest concoctions. Food fights, mud wrestling, wet clothing, quicksand-sinking, messy sex, dunk tanks, and our countless other sub-niches are all fueled by one thing: the thrill of the transition from clean and proper, to gloriously soaked or filthy and wanton.
We do this to ourselves, we do it to each other, and many of us just enjoy watching. Itís not supposed to be mean, and hopefully it's not intimidating. But it's totally against what's accepted in our sterile society, and thatís what makes it totally naughty, totally sexy, and totally fun. Around here, the figurative and literal interpretations of "dirty" are purposely conflated, and the result is an explosion of primal sexiness of the most lascivious nature.
Even for such an esoteric fetish, our participants have significant interpretations and preferences within it. Itís the goal of UMD.NET to support them all, and to link us together by understanding the underlying enjoyment of being (or causing to be) sullied in our own way.
Started in 1998 as a plain collection of text links to various web finds submitted by the very members who frequented the site, we grew within a year to include a chat room, forum, and e-mail list. A good number of people were already aware that wam was "a thing" because of pioneers who had long before released wam magazines, VHS, and web sites. Now folks had another place to meet others who also liked their personal brand of sploshing.
Supported by the 1999 launch of our wam sister pay-site, we were able to keep running, and today we are made possible by download sales, advertising, and most of all, the love and support of thousands of people getting wet and messy together. Because of the communal effort to watch over this site, we've been able to stick around for over 15 years and weather difficulties that would have long-ago crushed a site running just on pure business logic.
I hope that you splash these pages with all the colors of paint, pudding, mud, chocolate, pies, and everything else that you can think of. Letís buck the forces that try to make this a boring, dry, sterile, homogenous world. Letís mix it up a little. And then dump it on the world.
How does gender tagging work?[link]
Forum posts can be tagged with one gender selection: female, male, coed, or trans. Video content is tagged automatically, based on the gender of the models attached. The gender of other content is inferred from the user's own profile settings and gender preferences. Having this info lets us tailor the the entire site for each visitor based on their own gender viewing preferences.
Your gender view setting (in the top right corner of many pages of the site) attempts to find you all
content of that type, even if it contains other things. For example, the Male setting gives you all content that contain males, but so you don't miss anything, we also include Coed content because that also has males. If you prefer to block mixed-gender content, please enable the Strict setting next to your gender setting in your preferences
When you have thousands of people freely posting without pre-moderation, it is impossible to guarantee that all content will be tagged correctly (please help us by flagging). In addition, some content like photos cannot yet be individually gender-tagged, so they default to the user's own general preference setting. As such, our gender filter can only be so accurate, and it will merely "bias" the site toward your gender preference.
If content contains a male and female interacting together, it may be labeled coed even if only one side gets wet or messy. We call this "one-sided" wam. We leave this at the discretion of the author because to many, the person delivering the wam is just as relevant, whether they stay clean or not.
It's important to respect the gender identity of all users, especially when it differs from one's biological gender, or assigned sex. But also understand that this is a visual, media-based website, and that physical appearance is how most of our users expect things to be organized and presented. So by default we will categorize content and moderate based on the perceived biological gender. That is overridden when the user has specified themselves as a different gender on their profile. This way we respect them and their content as that gender, even if they are obviously the biological opposite.
Why is my payment not accepted?[link]
Adult payment processors have very sensitive fraud protection measures built into their payment system. This system helps protect the sellers and buyers from a daily barrage of people trying to use credit card numbers that aren't theirs. The problem is that this system is so sensitive that occasionally, legitimate customers actually get declined.
Our processors don't give you a heck of a lot of details about what the problem was, ostensibly because in their eyes, that would be giving sensitive information to the very person who their system has identified as being illegitimate in the first place, which would not make much sense.
We also cannot do much research into the problem because details about credit cards and transactions are kept confidential, on their system. Sellers and resellers are not let loose into their logs of your personal transactions, and for good reason.
Common reasons for declined transactions are:
- When you enter your address and other personal information while checking out, they compare that with the information that your bank has on file. If it doesn't match exactly, it's a red flag.
- Date of birth entered was wrong. Please be sure to enter the correct date and not to get the month and the day reversed.
- Insufficient funds.
- Credit card was reported lost or stolen.
- You are in a country that payment processors block.
To find out exactly why your transaction was declined or why you were locked out of your account, you can visit Epoch's support page here
. They have 24-hour customer service by phone, chat, and email.
Can I offer custom films on this site?[link]
We want to be able to vouch for any model or producer offering custom-created scenes to our members. We also want to give customers a preview of your past work and work ethic, and be reasonably sure that you won't fall off the Earth and leave paid customers hanging.
Therefore we have set up a customs producer review section
. Reviews and ratings about you will be anchored to your download store, and we will automatically use sellable content from it as previews. Therefore it is necessary that you have a download store first. Also, you must have it open for some time, in order to establish a history. We also consider your interaction with other members, how often you add new content, and how much time you spend on the site.
How do store owners handle taxes?[link]
Unless you were paid by check, we will not send you an annual 1099 tax form for royalties paid. Our 3rd-party payment services are obligated by law
to send you their own annual 1099k tax income form by January 31. You will only receive a 1099k from your payment service if you made at least $20,000 and
had 200 transactions during the year. If you were paid via check and made over $600, you will receive a 1099 from us. Because laws change, we protect ourselves by asking that all producers participating in our store system supply us with a completed W9 or W-8BEN
Whether or not you receive a 1099k, still be sure to report your royalties income on your taxes. In the USA, you report them to the IRS as self-employment income on form 1040 C. Info on that is here
To get a report from us on your total annual sales income, use the pulldown on the top-left corner of your Payouts
Why do I have VIP status?[link]
If you have VIP
status and did not pay for it, don't be alarmed. It's likely because you are one of our Most Loved
community members. We automatically upgrade your account to VIP status
if you are near the top of this list on any given day. So enjoy!
Why would I offer Name Your Price[link]
...after all, nobody is going to pay for something when they can get it for free, right?
Name Your Price (NYP) is feature that allows download store owners to offer downloads where the customer chooses the price, down to $0.
NYP is primarily an advertising / exposure tool. It's like offering free video trailers, except with NYP the customer has the option to actually pay you for it (like a tip jar). But they may not, so it would be unwise to think of NYP as your primary way to offer all your content, or even items that are brand new or that you really need to recoup funds on.
It is important for you to understand NYP's place as a tool that's available for you to boost exposure in a novel way. People are drawn to the prospect of something free and the empowerment of choosing their price, so that's the lure. Tons of people are going to flock to your NYP content, and many really will download it for free, just like a video trailer. We pay for the bandwidth so you can do this. The point is to use it to bring exposure to your brand and the rest of your catalog. But if you are going to be angry at people grabbing any particular piece of content for free, then you probably should not offer it as NYP.
Many producers have actually made very good income using NYP, but it's up to you to calculate whether your advertising M.O. would benefit from either using it extensively, dabbling in it strategically, or not at all. If you can't fit something like NYP into the bigger picture of your business model, then it's recommended that you not use it.
After I remove my account, how do I remove my search results from Google?[link]
Google indexes our pages, and even if you've removed your account and forum posts, they may still show up on Google's searches for a while.
Google revisits our pages every day to update their listings. When they try to access your old deleted profile for an update, we automatically send them the signal that it's gone and should be removed from their results. Because of this, your info should be wiped from their results relatively quickly. If not, or if you have questions, please contact us to investigate.
How do the ratings work?[link]
The site-wide ratings system was designed to gauge community consensus about the value of everything that can be added by a user. You can rate photos, videos, forum posts, sites, and even site reviews. The system was built to be fair. You have to be logged in to vote, and you can only vote on each item once. It is a rolling ratings system, meaning only the latest X number of votes (currently 100) of any type, for any given item are considered, and older ones are forgotten. This allows an item's rating to change over time. For example, a site that used to be great and had high ratings may stop updating and start getting lower ratings, causing the old high ratings to eventually drop off the end. Or vice versa. Every item's rating is an average of the number of stars users gave it, which gives a level playing field for all items old and new.
We also have a separate scoring system which takes each item's user-rating and weighs it against how old that item is. Every day that passes, any item's score is weighed 1/30th less. When it's new, its score has 100% of its weight but after half a month its score is only worth half as much. Items over 30 days old are not considered at all. We use these date-weighted scores to determine the "top items" in any category such as hottest photos and forum threads, and even wammer of the day. So whatever is new, highly-rated, or both, will likely make the hot list in its section. The scores are also weighted by other factors such as the number of unique views the items have gotten, and any negative reports users have submitted on them. These scores are just relative, numerical indexes that we use internally, so they are not shown to the public. Remember that these scores are independent of and do not affect the star-ratings.
You cannot rate other users. However the site uses an algorithm that takes into account everything each user posts around the site. The user with the most highly-rated stuff, the most stuff, and the most recent stuff, gets pushed higher in the rankings. So the more you participate, and the better-rated all your stuff is, the higher your score gets. You might even become Wammer of the Day!
We have a backend that can see, globally, who is rating what. Anyone caught abusing or spamming the system will have all of his ratings removed, and will be banned from the ratings system.
The backend to this system is very complex and I will be tweaking it from time to time. So please don't take it too seriously. It's just meant to be fun and to encourage people to post great stuff.
How can I add a group?[link]UMD Groups
are added by site admin slowly, over time. UMD members will host (moderate) them once they are added.
New groups will be considered only if there is a very clear, convincing case that one is needed. They exist to allow space for the types of threads and posting rules that our regular forums can't efficiently accommodate. Groups are not for topics that overlap too much or can be sufficiently covered in the main forums. At this time, we will not be adding groups based on specific substances, gender, or clothing preferences. Normal forum rules still apply, except for specific changes as noted on each Group.
New groups are launched on a 3-month preliminary period, and if they don't get good traction in that time, they'll be removed, and their threads will be absorbed into the main forums. If you think you have an idea for a Group that you'd like to host, please present your case