The dirtiest site in the world℠
Carmella, The UMD Goddess
Some folks might fancy a little whipped cream and chocolate to kink up a sexy evening. But some of us would fill a baby pool of it first. Some people like to eat their pudding, and some people like it better dribbled down the front of their suit jackets and into their laps. Most people shower without clothes, but some think clothes are an enhancement of the experience.
Such are the quirks of this gathering place by and for people who enjoy "sploshing," or getting "wet and messy." We affectionately call it "wam," and it means getting covered in any icky, sticky, mushy, slippery, or wet substance, as long as it originates from outside the body. Some of us find a rebellious pleasure in totally slopping up some nice clothes while they're being worn. Some others of us find it most exotic and sensual for an unclothed body to be slathered in the slipperiest, wettest concoctions. Food fights, mud wrestling, wet clothing, quicksand-sinking, messy sex, dunk tanks, and our countless other sub-niches are all fueled by one thing: the thrill of the transition from clean and proper, to gloriously soaked or filthy and wanton.
We do this to ourselves, we do it to each other, and many of us just enjoy watching. It's not supposed to be mean, and hopefully it's not intimidating. But it's totally against what's accepted in our sterile society, and that's what makes it totally naughty, totally sexy, and totally fun. Around here, the figurative and literal interpretations of "dirty" are purposely conflated, and the result is an explosion of primal sexiness of the most lascivious nature.
Even for such an esoteric fetish, our participants have significant interpretations and preferences within it. It's the goal of UMD.NET to support them all, and to link us together by understanding the underlying enjoyment of being (or causing to be) sullied in our own way.
Started in 1998 as a plain collection of text links to various web finds submitted by the very members who frequented the site, we grew within a year to include a chat room, forum, and e-mail list. A good number of people were already aware that wam was "a thing" because of pioneers who had long before released wam magazines, VHS, and web sites. Now folks had another place to meet others who also liked their personal brand of sploshing.
Supported by the 1999 launch of our wam sister pay-site, we were able to keep running, and today we are made possible by download sales, advertising, and most of all, the love and support of thousands of people getting wet and messy together. Because of the communal effort to watch over this site, we've been able to stick around for over 15 years and weather difficulties that would have long-ago crushed a site running just on pure business logic.
I hope that you splash these pages with all the colors of paint, pudding, mud, chocolate, pies, and everything else that you can think of. Let's buck the forces that try to make this a boring, dry, sterile, homogenous world. Let's mix it up a little. And then dump it on the world.
I joined VIP but it's not activelink
It sometimes takes a moment for for our system to receive the authorization from our biller. Please wait a couple of minutes then refresh your profile page, and your VIP should be active. If not, please contact us.
How do I verify my account?link
An account is considered verified once a photo ID and Compliance Recordholder (2257) information have been supplied. Only verified accounts may upload explicit pictures or videos, or open a store, due to new credit card company regulations added October 2021.
Any user may upload the required information by editing their preferences. All documents are transmitted securely, and once verified, they are removed from the internet and stored offline and encrypted. Your ID will not be run against any 3rd party database or filed anywhere else. We can only accept government-issued photo ID's such as a driver's license or passport, and it cannot have any information redacted.
Your ID must be in our file in case we are presented with a challenge to your age by our biller or government authority. In that case, you will first be contacted with a full explanation as to what is going on. This information will be kept on-file indefinitely while you are here, and for those who leave, we do a periodic purge of unneeded photo ID's and other sensitive information after a reasonable grace period. You may request that we destroy all copies of your submitted documents at any time.
While we do not require photo ID's of your models and crew, you are required to maintain them for your own records, as well as signed model release forms.
Why were my photos rejected?link
Starting in October 2021, the credit card companies started requiring that all users uploading new explicit content have to become verified. We must manually review everything and delete any explicit content uploaded by non-verified users. Until approved, new content will be temporarily hidden or replaced with a placeholder icon. Any user can get verified by editing their profile and filling out the Compliance Record Keeper and Photo ID sections. "Explicit" is currently defined as anything containing sex, masturbation, nudity, hard-ons, toplessness (nipples showing regardless of gender), or suggestive touching.
Is it Censorship or Moderation?link
Moderation is about keeping the peace. Censorship is about suppressing an idea.
We welcome strong opinions and all points of view, even if unpopular, but we occasionally need to delete messages for various reasons such as being belligerent toward another user. Moderation is about allowing as much individual expression as possible while recognizing the cues that will turn a productive conversation into a worthless brawl.
Censorship on the other hand is bias in action. It's the attempt to suppress one side of a debate because you disagree with it morally or because it's uncomfortable to discuss. As long as substantive points are being made, and aggression isn't being shown toward other users, members are free to argue their opinion about any subject, and they'll never be censored.
The views and opinions expressed by site users are theirs only and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the owners of this site. The existence of posted messages does not denote endorsement.
Why won't my purchase play?link
To troubleshoot downloading, streaming, or playback issues, please refer to this list.
For download purchases, try the free VLC player
for desktop and mobile. It plays everything! Also, check the file size to make sure you downloaded the whole file, and if not, try again.
For streaming purchases, please test your purchase with a different browser. If it works, the original browser may need to be updated or have its cache cleared.
If you're on a computer and unable to start downloading or streaming at all, please ensure that this site is not being blocked by a personal firewall or other security software. Avoid VPN's if you can. Clear your browser's cookies to make sure it's not an authentication issue. To make sure the issue is not with your browser itself, please test on a different browser. To make sure the issue is not with your internet provider, please test using your phone or mobile device with wifi turned off.
If playback happens but is glitchy, your video card may not be able to keep up with high-frame-rate or high-def content, even if you have a solid internet connection. Please watch it on an updated computer or device. Playback in fullscreen mode seems to work more smoothly on some systems.
If playback shows a black screen but you can hear audio, this means your video player needs to be updated so it can understand the video encoding.
How do I save my purchase?link
On a computer, right-click the "Get" link and save in a folder that you'll remember.
On a mobile device, click the "Get" link (not the "Play" link). From the menu, save to the location of your choice. If you don't see the option to save directly to your device, please update your device and your browser.
If your device can't store files, get a cloud storage app such as Dropbox
or Google Drive
or iCloud Drive
. Once you have a cloud storage app, your browser should offer it as an option for saving.
The content in streaming subscriptions cannot be saved.
Why was my payment declined?link
Our biller has an anti-fraud system that is a bit hyperactive. Even if you're legit, your purchase may be blocked due to some unknown red flag.
Due to strict privacy terms, we are not given any information about payment declines, but you may contact our biller directly at epoch.com
Why so much commercial activity?link
A media-rich site like this is expensive to run. For it to exist, there must be some sort of advertising or sales happening. Commercial posts, or "plugs" are the main source of funding for us, and they are the reason we don't have to run annoying pop-up ads or video inserts, or resort to more intrusive forms of generating revenue like privacy-invading banners or selling your personal info.
Forum plugs for internal content are clearly labeled as such, so you are empowered to skip over the stuff you don't want to see. You can even filter as many users as you like so you never have to see their posts (what other site has their own built-in ad blocker!). If you'd like to support the site by being a VIP member, you can even turn the ads off completely.
This community enjoys hearing about new content from their favorite producers, and almost all plugs have free pictures or video content to enjoy. We are the #1 haven for original, exclusive, niche wam content, and producers from around the world are uploading tons of fresh on-topic content every day--something we could only dream about 20 years ago. This takes a lot of time, resources, and dedication from many people, so we can't begrudge them covering their expenses while still expecting free stuff.
We stand by our uniquely passive, user-empowered methods of advertising.
Why is the percentage of explicit adult content increasing?link
Actually it's not increasing. The percentage of explicit content is around 15% as it has been since the start, and depictions of actual sex are extremely rare. We just let people post what they want to post, and so long as it is on-topic, we will approve submitted content without any bias toward any particular preference or sub-genre. If content skews in any direction, that is reflective of producers responding to community demand.
About half of our visitors have always preferred the more explicit content while half prefers it clothed or visually innocent. But let's not fool ourselves: Fetishistic content that doesn't seem explicit to the masses will still appeal to a prurient interest in the viewer who has that fetish. So if we are honest with ourselves, it is all explicit.
Why did you delete my post!?link
We mean no disrespect! Our goal is only to organize the content and maintain the vibe. We do our best to be consistent, but we are human, too. Messmaster takes personal responsibility for all actions, and any decision can be appealed on the Contact Us
page. Admin guidelines are listed here
How does gender tagging work?link
Forum posts and images can be tagged with one gender selection: female, male, coed, or trans. Video and store content is tagged automatically, based on the gender of the models attached. The gender of other content is inferred from the user's own profile settings and gender preferences. Having this info lets us tailor the the entire site for each visitor based on their own gender viewing preferences.
Your gender view setting (in the top right corner of many pages of the site) attempts to find you all
content of that type, even if it contains other things. For example, the Male setting gives you all content that contain males, but so you don't miss anything, we also include Coed content because that also has males. If you prefer to block mixed-gender content, please enable the Strict setting next to your gender setting in your preferences
"One-sided wam" is what we call it when content contains a male and female interacting together, but only one gets wet or messy. Whether to label this coed or not is left to the discretion of the author because to many, the person delivering the wam is just as relevant, whether they stay clean or not.
When you have thousands of people freely posting without pre-moderation, it is impossible to guarantee that all content will be tagged correctly. As such, our gender filter can only be so accurate, and it will merely "bias" the site toward your gender preference. Please help us by flagging any mis-categorized content.
How do store owners handle taxes?link
In order to pay you for your sales and to establish an official business relationship, we are required to ask all store owners for basic tax info. Please edit your preferences and see the Producer Info
section for tax identification forms and instructions.
We do not collect or withhold any taxes. It is always your responsibility to report all earnings to your tax authorities. We recommend classifying your sales income as royalties for licensing your content. Don't forget that you may write off supplies and other expenses. Use a legal professional if you can.
If you live in the USA and were paid more than $600 by check, we will send you an annual 1099 tax reporting form. This form may be sent by mail or made available as a digital file. If you live in the USA and were paid via a money transfer service, they are obligated by law
to send you a "1099k" form by January 31 that covers only the amount paid through them. No tax documents will likely be sent or reported to the governments of producers outside of the USA.
If you were paid both electronically and by check, you may receive one or two tax forms for the corresponding amounts. Even if no yearly tax document was sent, all paid producers are required to report and pay taxes on all their yearly royalties. In the USA, you may be able to report your royalties to the IRS as self-employment income on form 1040 C
For your own accounting purposes, you should use the date when you were actually paid, not when the sales were made. To get a report on your total annual sales income, use the pulldown on the top-left corner of your Payouts
Why do I have VIP status?link
If you have VIP
status and did not pay for it, don't be alarmed. It's likely because you are one of our Most Loved
community members. We automatically upgrade your account to VIP status
if you are near the top of this list on any given day. So enjoy!
Is it moral to post discoveries?link
The thrill of discovering wam in the real world is why this site was created. The community has always linked to sites, pictures, and videos found out there, whether by professional studios or regular people. But we should remember that most real-world wam was created by people who have no interest or awareness about wam, and never expected to gain the attention of a fetish audience. This may not be a moral concern if you, like us, don't view fetishes as inherently evil, but not everybody thinks that way. So on the merit that the content was made public, we will continue to allow the posting of discoveries so long as we are not causing linking to any content that was intentionally hidden or meant for kids, and we will continue to respect any link removal requests.
Why would I offer Name Your Price?link
...after all, nobody is going to pay for something when they can get it for free, right?
Name Your Price (NYP) is feature that allows download store owners to offer downloads where the customer chooses the price, down to $0.
NYP is primarily an advertising / exposure tool. It's like offering free video trailers, except with NYP the customer has the option to actually pay you for it (like a tip jar). But they may not pay, so it may not be wise to think of NYP as your primary way to offer all your content, or even items that are brand new or that you really need to recoup funds on.
NYP is as a tool that's available for you to boost exposure in a novel way. People are drawn to the prospect of something free and the empowerment of choosing their price. Tons of people are going to flock to your NYP content, and most really will download it for free, just like a video trailer. We don't mind paying for the bandwidth. The point is to use it to bring exposure to your brand and the rest of your catalog. But if you are going to be angry at people grabbing any particular piece of content for free, then you probably should not offer it as NYP.
Many producers have actually made very good income using NYP, but it's up to you to calculate whether your advertising M.O. would benefit from either using it extensively, dabbling in it strategically, or not at all. If you can't fit something like NYP into the bigger picture of your business model, then it's recommended that you not use it.
How do I remove my results from Google?link
Google indexes our pages, and even if you've removed your account and forum posts, they may still show up on Google's searches for a while. Google revisits our pages every day to update their listings. When they try to access your old deleted profile for an update, we automatically send them the signal that it's gone and should be removed from their results. Because of this, your info should be wiped from their results relatively quickly. If not, or if you have questions, please contact us to investigate.
How do the ratings work?link
The site-wide ratings system was designed to gauge community consensus about the value of everything that can be added by a user. You can rate photos, videos, forum posts, sites, and even site reviews. The system was built to be fair. You have to be logged in to vote, you can only vote on each item once, and you can only vote any given producer's content a limited number of times per day. It is a rolling ratings system, meaning only the latest X number of votes (currently 100) of any type, for any given item are considered, and older ones are forgotten. This allows an item's rating to change over time. For example, a site that used to be great and had high ratings may stop updating and start getting lower ratings, causing the old high ratings to eventually drop off the end. Or vice versa. Every item's rating is an average of the number of stars users gave it, which gives a level playing field for all items old and new.
We also have a separate scoring system which takes each item's user-rating and weighs it against how old that item is. Every day that passes, any item's score is weighed 1/30th less. When it's new, its score has 100% of its weight but after half a month its score is only worth half as much. Items over 30 days old are not considered at all. We use these date-weighted scores to determine the "top items" in any category such as hottest photos and forum threads, and even wammer of the day. So whatever is new, highly-rated, or both, will likely make the hot list in its section. The scores are also weighted by other factors such as the number of unique views the items have gotten, and any negative reports users have submitted on them. These scores are just relative, numerical indexes that we use internally, so they are not shown to the public. Remember that these scores are independent of and do not affect the star-ratings.
You cannot directly rate other users. However the site uses an algorithm that takes into account everything each user posts around the site. The user with the most highly-rated stuff, the most stuff, and the most recent stuff, gets pushed higher in the rankings. So the more you participate, and the better-rated all your stuff is, the higher your score gets. You might even become Wammer of the Day!
Please don't take it too seriously. It's just meant to be fun and to encourage people to post great stuff. We can see who is rating what, so anyone caught abusing or spamming the system will be banned.
What is UMD Fetish?link
UMD Fetish is a sister site run on the same platform as UMD. It's meant to be a place where wam models and producers can show off their non-wam fetish stuff, and their fans can be exposed to another side of their content. The site caters to the kinky and weird, but not the extreme.
All content sold on UMD Fetish automatically appears in UMD's store's own Non-Wam section, and on listings and search results where the visitor has the non-wam filter set to "allow." A separate profile is required, but both accounts can be linked so you're automatically signed in to both when you log in.
At this time, UMD Fetish doesn't enjoy the traffic that UMD does, so forum posting and other features are not currently enabled as they wouldn't get enough traction. So for now, the site is mostly geared toward the videos and stores. As the site grows naturally, models and producers will determine its ultimate direction, and more features will be unlocked.