The hotel bar was elegant but relaxed, with low lighting that created small pools of intimacy around each table. Rebecca sat at the corner of the bar, nursing a gin and tonic while half-heartedly scrolling through her phone. She was in town for a con...

The Pie is on my Face (Song: "The Writing is on the Wall) (with apologies to Sam Smith) I've been here before But always hit the door I've spent a lifetime running And I always get away But with you I'm feeling something That makes me want to stay...

[aka the proof that I really can both bring in a story more or less below 2k words and also be the main slop stooge myself on occasion! :-P] It is only 8pm in the evening and you are already regretting your life choices. It had seemed like such a s...

(Story for an anonymous requestor) Victoria smiled nervously as she stood behind her podium awaiting her opponent to appear. Usually, she had no fears appearing in public, even when semi-naked, but tonight was different as not only was appearing as...

The Mud Boat (song: The Love Boat theme) (with apologies to Paul Williams and Charlie Fox) Mud Boat Mud--it's creamy and deep Come aboard, and the mud will seep Mud, just water and dirt Mix it up, it sticks onto you The Mud Boat, soon will be making...

The Unwinnable Bet 2 I could hear Meagan cheerily on her phone with her friends. "Yes, we were still on for tomorrow, no, no need to bring anything, it was all taken care of." I clawed at the silk rope, now sticky with whipped cream, finally looseni...

When Johnny Comes Throwing Pies! (with apologies to Patrick S. Gilmore) When Johnny comes throwing pies again, kersplat, kersplat When Johnny comes throwing pies again, kersplat, kersplat The pies will fly; the men will duck And all the women, they...

Glory, Glory, I will pie you Mine eyes have seen the inside of a Graham Cracker crust And the cream covered my head so much I hardly could adjust When the pies go flying it does energize my lust My pies go flying on. Glory, glory, I will pie you Gl...

Christmas Pies (song: Jingle Bells) To the store we go, Buying our supplies Then we knead our dough Preparing our surprise We smell crusts we bake, We set them out to cool And we know that they will break When thrown by stooge or fool, Oh, (choru...

I've written numerous What Would You Do tribute stories, envisioning a spinoff where a wilder version of the show somehow finds its way to late night TV. This is the latest installment, the full version of which you can find on my Patreon (patreon.co...

I Was Born Under a Wallowing Star (Song: "I Was Born Under a Wandering Star" from "Paint Your Wagon" (with apologies to Lerner and Loewe) I was born under a wallowing star I was born to find the mud from afar I was made for mud, rolling in the muck...

Aaron stepped closer to James, his smirk widening as he leaned in, his voice a low, velvet threat. "Beg for mercy, James. Humiliate yourself. Maybe I'll go easy on you." James clenched his jaw, his pride flaring even as his heart raced. "Go to hell,...

The mirror reflected perfection. James adjusted his red silk braces, the fabric smooth and cool against his fingertips, and smirked at his reflection. The black tuxedo was impeccable, tailored to hug his frame with precision, but it was the redthat m...

Pieing Me Softly (song: Killing Me Softly, Roberta Flack lyrics) (with apologies to Charles Fox and Norman Kimbel) (chorus) Strumming my heartstrings by pieing Giving me thrills with his throws Pieing me softly with his hands Pieing me softly with h...

I'm Dreaming of a White Pi Day (song: White Christmas) (with apologies to Irving Berlin) I'm dreaming of a white Pi Day Just like the one I had last year, With the cream pies smooshing Into faces smiling And goo dripping onto clothes I'm dreaming o...

I'm in the Mood for Wam (with apologies to Jimmy McHugh and Dorothy Fields) I'm in the mood for wam Simply because you're creamy Honey, but when you're creamy I'm in the mood for wam Chocolate is in your eyes Dark as the night we're under Oh, is it...

Let them Fly (Sung to the melody of "Let it Go" from "Frozen") (with apologies to Idina Menzel) The cream glows white on the paper plates Ready to do their thing A promise of much messiness All these pies that I should fling The pies are creating t...

I went to the laundromat down the road from my apartment complex. It was a cool fall day, perfect for wearing some kinky gear. I was wearing hot pink rubber underpants, a black PVC long sleeved dress shirt, a red silk tie, black leather pants, blac...

Looking for WAM in all the Right Places (Song: "Looking for Love) (with apologies to Johnny Lee) I spent a lifetime looking for WAM Then I found UMD*, get me my cam Playing those WAM games, certain to win** And throwing those sweet pies and wamming...

Just a very short silly story to celebrate my birthday. - "Give your partner the best birthday cake ever." Ellie looked again at the email advertisement she had received on her phone. "A cake they will never forget." She looked around the store. Th...

The Sound of Splatter (with apologies to Simon and Garfunkel) Hello, des-sert, my old friend Ilve come to play with you again Because a pie that I was keeping Left its mark while I was sleeping And the torte that was planted on my face Still remains...

The Pie Fight Family (Sung to "The Addams Family" 60's TV show theme song) (with apologies to Vic Mizzy) Ba-da-ba-bum, snap, snap Ba-da-ba-bum, snap, snap Ba-da-ba-bum, Ba-da-ba-bum, Ba-da-ba-bum, snap, snap Ba-da-ba-bum, snap, snap Ba-da-ba-bum, s...

With apologies to Lerner and Loewe (Parodied Song--"I'm on my Way" from "Paint Your Wagon") I Will Throw my Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie! Pie!! Gotta Dream Boy Gotta pie Choose a target And let it fly What is the filling I don't know How will it s...

Finally the weekend was here! I had finished up early, Julia my boss had kindly offered to let me leave at 3:00 PM instead of the usual 5:00 PM. I barely acknowledged her friendly' "Have a nice weekend!" as I made a dash for the parking lot. I texted...

With apologies to Gene Kelly Slogging Through the Mud I'm slogging through the mud, Just slogging through the mud, What a glorious feeling, I'm happy in-"sud". I'm laughing with Joy. I'm as free as a "bud" The sun's in my heart, and I'm ready for m...