Suppose you could send a letter back in time to your past self. What WAM-related advice might you give them?

In my case, I think some of it would be reasonably general. I'd start by telling younger-me that he isn't the only person who feels like this, but it's not a common kink. I think I'd give him some tips on how to get 'accidentally' muddy, advice on how to get cleaned up afterwards, and reassurance that even if some passer-by sees me/him covered in mud they probably won't care, particularly if I/he can give them a plausible explanation. I'd also recommend my younger self to take up country walks as a hobby, as it's a good way of exploring muddy places.

That leads on to the more specific advice. I think my younger self would like a list of places where the mud's worth exploring. And then there's always the temptation to try and change history, suggesting a few points in my life where the outcome could have been a bit muddier than I remember it

"Try losing your footing when crossing the fallen tree over the bog."
"At the start of the assault course on the outdoor pursuits trip, you'll slip in the mud. Don't stop yourself falling."
"When you go on the geography field trip, wear wellies so you don't have to keep out of the mud."
I might even suggest "Try and find out if that lad in the grey tracksuit likes getting wet/muddy, he certainly made a point of it on those last two occasions."

So what would you tell your younger self as they set out on their WAM journey?

Avoid real dairy whipped cream. Fun in the moment, horrible smell later that lingers.

-JD

If you're into Rubber/PVC/Leather like I am. Number one.... Real cream pies destroy latex. It will last maybe for a couple of years but the oils in the pies completely break it down.
You even have to take really good care of your PVC because if you don't clean it well it will mold and mildew.
Leather..... What can I say???
It will certainly mold and mildew and also retain any smell when it comes to cream pies.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is if you're into what I am it really takes a whole lot of effort to keep the clothes that you're wearing in good shape.
Anything else can just go into the washer and you're pretty much done after two cycles. Or if you are the variety that likes to be nude then you don't have anything to worry about.
Outside of that advice... I say pretty much do what makes you happy.
I don't always get pied when I go out in public..... But I always wear my fetish clothing when I go out when I'm not at work..
It certainly makes people smile and people really do love my pvc outfits.
When people approach me and ask me about my clothing it's a open door to give them one of my PIE BOY business cards and four times out of ten... I wind up getting creamed in the face by a enthusiastic person.
I'm old compared to the rest of you.
Don't be afraid to be yourself because life is fleeting and you're enjoyment should be as such.
If you want to do something go for it.
Be happy and enjoy yourself.
You only live once.

Hit the gym now so people will want to see you naked lol but seriously you're not the only one interested in this so stay calm and be honest with yourself and others

Buy Apple, Netflix, Amazon, Google, Pixar and start mining Bitcoin on Day 1

Access to lots of Money would have provided for a number of WAM related opportunities that I still think about what might have been.

Well, after a messy session my wife sometimes says to me, "I can't believe you didn't tell me you liked doing this earlier in our relationship", so perhaps it would be "Tell your wife about WAM earlier on in your relationship"!

On the other hand, I actually still think it's good to build a relationship first, and establish you enjoy vanilla sex together before getting too kinky, so even though if I'd been more sexually confident maybe I would have brought it up sooner, in practice waiting a few years was probably not a bad thing. And we've now been enjoying WAM sex together for the last couple of decades, so I don't really feel I lost out!

Oh, and a more practical piece of advice? Use molasses, not black treacle - it's just as black but less painfully sticky!

This is somewhat a 'depressing' message to answer for me... Growin' up, we weren't 'poor' poor, but my family didn't have a lot of money.... And trashin' my clothes and gettin' muddy, dirty, wreckin' my 'good' or 'old' clothes was a 'anathema' to my folks, especially to my Mom.......

How could I explain that it so 'turns-me' on, and then how to explain that I like 'guys' more than I like 'girls'..... ???

Guess if I could go back in time, I'd like my folks to be very 'open-minded', and if I wanted to play in the mud, have food/pie fights, trash and rip up my clothes, they'd be okay with it.....

I grew up before all of this 'Internet-Stuff'. So for a long time, I thought I was the only one to like doin' this kinda' stuff..... It actually made me a little 'mental' for a while.... Why am I like this,
what's the matter with me ????

So thanks to the 'Internet' and this 'Site', (and many others.....), nice to know that there's a lot of crazy, (sorry to use the 'crazy' word......l.o.l.), people like myself..... !!!

I'd probably tell my younger self "look dude...nobody looking for gunge meets is looking to 'out' you as a gunge fan...so stress a bit less about meets and just go wild!"

There's this little site you need to join. It's called UMD. You'll thank me later.

"Tell her."

I'm ashamed to say I waited waaayyyy too long to tell my wife about this whole WAM thing. As in, 10 years into our marriage long. Naturally she's totally accepting of it, and has indulged me a couple of times a year. But we're older now. We have kids. Rarely get the house to ourselves. It's just so hard now. If I'd have been brave enough to tell her when we were still in our 20s, who knows. Not only could we have probably done a lot more, but I would have realized I'd have nothing to hide or fear. It is what it is, and things turned out ok. But I wish I'd have been braver back then.

id probably tell myself that the urges you had to cover yourself in Nutella and caramel are not a passing phase, that its ok to like leather, latex and restraints, try not to be shy with others when going on sites like these, the people there aren't gonna go "OMG, you're a freak", their going to open and friendly or at least neutral.

On a more serous note, id tell my past self to move out the first chance you get, and that you deserve to treated better then a back up parent.


PS. try nudism the first chance you get younger me, its freeing and you save on laundry day

1. Stop worrying about not being able to date suitable girls and take your time. The right one will come along but not until you are in your 30's.

2. Buy up all the 3 letter domain names whist they are still under $10 each!

Sage advice as I am sure you will agree. However, in some respects I am still the same idiot I was back then!

I dunno, winning lottery tickets, investment advice, and not to marry my ex.

Don't grow up - it's a trap!!

Don't ignore or suppress your inner child otherwise it will come out as negative mental health later.

It's not your fault, you didn't deserve it, don't worry about what you think other people may think, you won't be able to let anyone like you until you learn to like yourself.

This messing stuff gets even better and there will be some stonkingly good sex

To the college nerd first gawking at the UMD site in the late Nineties: So you just found out that you're not the only one with this interest, but your assumption that you share the interest with maybe a few dozen people from the UK at best is admittedly a weird take. You're...not the only American with this interest.

When that heckler with the Super-Soaker sprayed down all you peaceniks during your protest, you're wondering why you were left not only laughing at him, but with a ****-eating grin on your face.

If you acted right now, you could get in on what will someday be known as "vintage WAM" but you'll wait 20 years and that's fine. Keep dreaming up those WAM stories, as I know for a fact you already have a notebook and a few floppy disks full of...interesting fanfiction. Someday commit them to the Interwebs and maybe be open to actually partaking in this silliness.

I would tell my younger self to "risk it, push your girlfriend into the lake in her prom dress, she knows your fetish risk it."
I would tell myself to stop trying to fight the fact you like seeing wet dresses and gowns, try dating more and maybe find someone who will share this with you. I would also tell myself to save money to live in a place of my own, maybe start a wetlook store of my own.

Not to break the 4th wall, but this was very relatable! Growing up, I was the oldest of four and we weren't "poor" poor either, but understandably we weren't allowed to be wastrels either (I so adore that word: a wasteful person.) So I would've caught it if I intentionally messed up clothes that would be passed on down to at least my sister if not all three of my younger siblings.

Like other UMDers have mentioned doing when young, I only dared to get messy in my swimsuit, the one article of clothing that wasn't expected to become a hand-me-down. I would sneak out to my neighbor's backfilled yard and muck around in the "ponds" between the dirt piles he'd had trucked in, then hose off before sneaking back into the house. It was a sad day when he finally bulldozed everything into a flat lot.

Likewise, we weren't ever food insecure but we did get food stamps for a while, as did every laid-off mill worker's family in the early Eighties, and later my folks had me occasionally helping with food pantries, soup kitchens and clothing drives, so my younger self would've been conflicted about wasting food and especially about outright clothing destruction...except I'm not sure I was aware that was a thing back then. If I did stain something accidentally, it became "play clothes." I've come to peace with it now, because permanently ruining clothes doesn't have to be a thing.

But going back to your post, I too wondered what the heck was the matter with me and I definitely thought I was the only weird person out there who was into...whatever this was, as I didn't have a name for it yet.

Never mind that a regular recess game was sitting under the jungle gym and reenacting a certain TV show, using handfuls of mowed grass* as the slime, so I probably wasn't the only one with a fascination with WAM.

*Not recommended, unless you like deer ticks.

Yep not to get together with, or at least not to let it get serious with, the 2 Xs I was serious enough about to cohabit with. They say you regret the things you don't do not the things you do. Absolute codswallop! We just phrase it that way in our minds. I regret making commitments to, moving in with, sharing bills with and deciding to stay with those Xs.
On the other hand if I could undo those wasted years would I have the things and I treasure now?

More on a fetish/sex front.

At about 10ish I'd tell myself you have a WAM fetish not everyone feels this way in fact most don't. People will joke about mud wrestling jelly wrestling etc they are joking they don't really want to get covered in mess while play fighting and have that play fighting turn into sex.
Don't treat any relationship be it friend or lover like it's forever. People change, including you, be grateful for the times when the relationships are good but always be ready to end it. On the other hand don't undervalue a relationship just because it you know it will end before it's begun.

Join umd sooner.

This advice goes out to all of you lurkers out there. It is more fun if you join. Just don't set your expectations too high.

Record yourself.

Even if you don't plan on making content to sell, it is fun to look back at photos or videos of your mess. You might meet someone you want to share it with.

Don't worry about the checkout.

No one cares that you are buying messy items. This was a huge setback for me as I hesitated to buy items. I would go to multiple stores.

Buy scenes sooner.

Your favorite producer might not be around forever. They can close their store and you will miss out. A producer leaving and fomo was one of the reasons why I joined umd.


Or, I don't know, maybe I would give myself advice to ditch this fantasy. Seeing how much of a loser I am today. I would give myself advice to try and develop normal friendships, normal relationships, and have more normal sexual desires.

Same here. I waited way too long to indulge in my mud fetish. Im late to the party but still having fun.

Take no notice of those that keep telling me that wanking shortens your life. Sex keeps you fit and able. I am now well into my nineties, and I love sex and wanking,

Great advice. It does get better and better.
On a serious note, I'd advise my younger self to make sure before a first session with a new guy that I knew exactly what he wanted, what he was going to use, what the limits were (if any) and was he up for sex.

I think I'd tell myself to get messy sooner. I waited too long.

Also, always film it. There's lots I did that I didn't record. I'm not an attractive man and I knew the other half wouldn't want to see it. But since filming my gunge sessions I have enjoyed w looking back at the memories.

General life advice I'd give myself is to just seek joy, go out and find it as it won't always come to you.

Totally correct.

"Your feelings about WAM will be different from how you feel about sex. That difference is important, and there is no reason for you to feel ashamed about how either one makes you feel."