I put this out on the groupme but it's worth sharing here as well to widen the reach.

Have to say I've been struggling a lot recently, the last couple of weekends I've barely left the flat, and it's not that I've been too busy with exciting things... I don't know where the girls that like dafties with questionable dress sense, limited social skills and little sight with a varied set of kinks hang out, but I doubt I'll find them.

Please thing along these lines.

How about presenting yourself as a charming, quirky, guy? Utterly charming, dorky, silly.

It's a thought.

I would say, too, that you're not limited by your limitations. Self awareness is a pretty good thing, but tweaking things now and then doesn't betray who you are. For instance, I'm a big guy. I lean towards pocketless shirts that don't have a lot going on, no big logos, things like that. I ran across some Claiborne shirts a few years back, plain, dark colors, black, blue, maroon and the like, with vertical ribbing. So I bought them. I wore them all the time. I bought more when they started to look worn out. Until someone told me they looked like old man shirts. Well shit. I thought I was looking stylish. It didn't hurt my feelings, but it helped me to see myself how others may see me. So I tweaked my wardrobe.

The point is, with dress and social skills, you can work on those and learn how to up your game. Iain, we don't have too many trips around the sun. Time to start living, brother.

I like this forwarded message when you posted it on GroupMe. It's a great take. On life.

Knowing you socially Iain, I will say that any girl would be lucky to have you in their life. I will need to vet them though!! Make sure they are good enough for you

Lisa is so kind and wise.

Please take the advice of Lisa and Sororia to heart. Even a geek like me married a beautiful and educated woman... okay twice, but you get the idea.

This is certainly an interesting concept but (without wishing to dampen any enthusiasm), surely there is another half to the equation? There may be someone out there who *really* likes me but do I simultaneously *really* like her? It's got to work both ways.

I know the sort of girls I like but, as they tend to be really slim, long-legged, bright, bubbly, witty, clever (and, ideally, quite tall to avoid us both getting cricks in our necks), they tend to hook themselves up with millionaires! LoL!

Even if there is someone out there who would be really into me, how the hell do I find her?!

Thanks for the replies, I'm not likely to find her driving the Sainsbury's van... It's hard when your sight's deteriorating - "their eyes met across the room" isn't going to appear in my life story, I can walk past relatives in the street and not noticed them!

"I know the sort of girls I like but, as they tend to be really slim, long-legged, bright, bubbly, witty, clever (and, ideally, quite tall to avoid us both getting cricks in our necks), they tend to hook themselves up with millionaires! LoL!"

So that's how Murdoch got Jeri Hall!

Everyone has their "type" that they are typically initially attracted to. That's normal, and it varies from person to person. Sometimes, the person you expect to like turns out to be a lousy human being and that taints all the "pretty" in the world, and other times that person you just aren't attracted to at first glance turns out to become the perfect match for the both of you. And yes; I agree it does need to be for the both of you. Short of a pit in the basement, you aren't going to keep that "really slim, long-legged, bright, bubbly, witty, clever" person around IF they just don't want to be around you, period. As to the size of your bank account, well, there ARE certainly a lot of women out there who focus on that as their goal in life (and frankly, more than a few men who try to marry for money as well) and having grown up around people with a decent amount of money I can tell you that it does NOT make for either happiness or for being a better person in and of itself. Nothing wrong with falling in love with someone who has money, but if that is the reason WHY you want them, most will be disappointed with the life they get, shiny baubles and all. So if you have an attraction to that physical type, fine, but IF she is only interested in you for your resources, prepare to be miserable, soon to be broke (at least by half) and watch as the love of your life moves on to monkey branch her way to the next sucker with a few dollars more while she still has her youth and her looks. And frankly, you are better off without THAT person. You may be attracted to a Look, but you wind up being in a relationship with a personality so make sure she has that going for her as well.

As to where to find/meet them, hell if you swing a dead cat you have a 50% chance of hitting a female in the back of the head with it. They ARE half the species in the population, after all. Finding a woman isn't the problem. Finding one who YOU like who likes you as well? Maybe a bit more of a challenge. My best suggestion would be to find what you enjoy doing and focus on that. Meet people with common interests. Make friends and maybe look to expand some of your social circles, and you may be more likely to find women who you already have something in common with. Then go from there. If you meet someone who is single, ask her out. The worst she can do is pelt you with rocks and garbage for asking, right? Just remember the one Rule- it never hurts to ask the question, just so long as you are willing to accept that "no" is an equally acceptable answer as "okay". When you can take "No, thanks" with a smile, you will find that the creep factor drops a lot and most women appreciate that in a guy.

Fate has created the perfect woman for you somewhere out there. So far, you have managed to avoid her.

But that could change at any time.

Great reply there Jay. Totally agree about personality issue. (Hence bright, bubbly, witty, clever as well as physical preferences (tall, leggy, slim).)

Equally agree about financial issue. I don't think I'd *want* to be with someone who held such a factor so highly... it's just that the likes of old wrinkly Murdoch types seem disproportionately to attract women with the characteristics listed above. There must be *some* with those characteristics who aren't bothered about finding a millionnaire and possibly even prepared to accept an occasional cross-dresser who loves WAM. (Well, perhaps one person out there with that combination for me, anyway!)

Socialising is tricky when you're up to your neck in stuff that has to be done, seemingly 24/7 (busy professional job, plus a business as well) and most of the people in my social circle are long settled with kids growing up, so tend to be surrounded by similar friends.

Having previously thought someone would be cool with both the of the kinky factors and watched her run a mile when I finally told her, I've tried doing it the other way round more recently and been upfront about both of those so that it wouldn't be a surprise to be sprung later. The result has been no better - no takers as yet.

I haven't given up though - never say never!