Obviously along, I imagine, with everyone else on this website, I'm aroused by seeing people getting wet or messy. But my wife and I have been having messy sex for over twenty years now, and I found myself thinking the other day that what makes it so good is that it's so much more than just something that arouses me. It's about...

The freedom - the sense that "normal rules don't apply" when we're having messy sex. No-when else is it ok to, say, pour paint over her dress, rub food into her hair, or cover her body in black mud. The fact that, in this setting, we can feels liberating and exciting.

The trust - she's letting me do this to her. No-else gets to mess her up, and the fact that she trusts me enough to let me do it feels very special.

The sensation - I actually don't think you've truly experienced sex until you've experienced it with both of you covered in something slippery, even if it's not something particularly messy! The heightened sensation of two slippery bodies sliding over each other seems to turn every square inch of skin into an erogenous zone. But every texture has it's own excitement, whether it's sticky, or viscous, or even gritty which, I'm told, can feel good against the nipples at the right moment!

The flirting - when else would walking down the paint aisle in B&Q be an excuse for flirty banter? Or the dessert aisle in Tesco, or just passing an estuary at low tide.

The planning - the organisation needed for a session can sometimes feel like a downside. But actually it means that sex gets thought about and planned, substances bought, outfits chosen, scenarios dreamt up, which I think means sex hasn't ever become routine, or boring, or neglected.

So that's why, for us messy sex is the best. I'll be interested to hear why other people think messy sex has been good - or bad - for them.