Hi fellow wammers,

I also posted this in non-wam, but then later thought it would fit better here. I've been a lurker here for well over a decade and rarely post, but I just wanted to share this somewhere other than into the ether, so I am posting so maybe someone can relate to some part of my rambling.

I am visiting relatives with my partner, which has resulted in a substantial reduction in privacy for almost 7 days. Under normal conditions, I allocate a small part of my daily private time to "release" once per day, at minimum. This opportunity has not presented itself as of yet during the preceding 7 day period.

I'm in my 40's, so daily life over the past several years have already yielded diminishing opportunities for solo messy sessions, and now, with the current drought, I find myself inhibited with an intense lust for a solo session. I am fortunate in that my partner indulges me with messy play on special occasions, but she doesn't get the same sexual enjoyment I do, so there is something particularly satisfying about a solo session where I can lose all inhibitions and euphorically engulf myself in mess. Also, a big part of the WAM kink for me is seeing elegant women's clothing ruined, so, when going solo, I will crossdress and trash clothes my partner would find financially recklessness to do so.

So, I decided I am going to take an extra day off work when I get home and am going to go all out when my partner is at work. I have spent the last two days fantasizing about what outfit to ruin, how to do it, what substances to use. I want the session to last as long as possible, the last thing I want is to spend all the time and money and climax the second chocolate cake batter touches a white dress. I find that a combination of alcohol and weed, with an ice cold shower immediately preceding the session suppresses a premature climax without negatively effecting the experience.

The wait is absolutely killing me, it's all I can think about. But as painful as it is, I know that is going to make the eventual release all the more glorious.

I am kind of hoping someone here can relate, even if it's to just one part of my disquisition. If so, I'd love to hear from you!