Not sure if this is the correct placement for this kind of thread, but here goes. I'm really nervous of talking about wam, even with other people here who are clearly into it as well. I've had my profile up since last year and I've been too nervous to talk to anyone here. I've wanted to, but I tense up, get scared, and just lurk. I'll want to talk to people and then just get way too scared and go silent.

Part of it too is that as is, I already have anxiety about joining groups of people. You know, people are already friends, people already have their groups they like to talk with and their inside jokes and when you're new, people can sometimes judge you or ignore you, and I've had that experience basically my whole life in new environments, so they always scare me. That combined with the fact I've never really talked with others about my fetish before in a natural conversation, I'm terrified. It's my fear of new environments combined with completely new territory of interaction entirely. I don't know if this is normal or not, or if it's just me being a ball of anxiety as usual, but yeah. Even writing this post is making my throat feel like I've swallowed rocks and I keep going back and forth about whether or not I should post it. (You're seeing this, so I finally hit post but trust me, it took a while for me to decide to do it lol)

Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced a similar hesitation or anxiety when first joining umd?

It's normal, to a point. You're sharing a part of you that you've kept hidden away. That society says is dirty, for lack of a better word. Kinks are perfectly normal, and coming out of the pantry to tell everyone you're a wammer, or to talk about it with other wammers, I'm sure that can create a lot of anxiety. I would say to take your time. You broke the ice with this post. Take it slow. Share your thoughts at your own pace. Just know that you aren't being judged here, this is a safe place for you. And if someone does says something to you that makes you feel unsafe, report it. I'm glad your opening up. Whether you're sharing with a community or your partner, should have to hide who they are from everyone.

Firstly, welcome!

Secondly, yes, this is exactly the place for this kind of thread.

Thirdly, you're definitely not alone in your anxiety or insecurity. I have MASSIVE insecurities! mine are less about opening up and more about self worth, but this thread isn't about that or me.

If you take a look around you'll see that there are WAY more people that lurk here then are active and out in the open socially. There's nothing wrong with either preference.

Lots of people get nervous about joining groups, especially when you don't know anyone in the group. That's perfectly normal even for an extrovert. And it's hard because people ARE going to judge you. Judging gets a bad rap, but it's not always a bad thing. Judging is a tool and even a personality trait that a lot of people have that helps then gather information on their surrounding and make sense of things and determinations in their life, the other being "perceiving". It helps us develop a first impression and determines our options on proceeding from there. The important thing is your aware of where you stand, and you're reaching out. You're seeking connection, acceptance, and advice. Those are all natural things.

Some people may ignore you because your anxiety is so high they may not know what to say or do around you, while others may pick up on it and are able to ease that feeling and make you feel less on guard. That's doesn't make the first group assholes necessarily, if they don't know how to approach you. They may feel uneasy too, and by avoiding you, feel like they're saving both parties from an uncomfortable encounter.

That level of anxiety can be something that happens for some people in a normal conversations like about the weather. Now talking about fetish/kink is extremely personal and intimate. Think about it, I know when I meet someone new, I don't start the conversation with "Hi, I'm Jason, I love pouring pudding down women's panties and then eating them out." I mean, I don't tell that to really anyone outside of here, and even then generally only when that's the topic of conversation. No, our relationships develop naturally over time as we constantly judge and perceive what the acceptable limitations of our interactions with each other are.

Another wonderful thing is the shield of anonymity. People here only know as much about you as you are willing to reveal. If you look at me, my profile, and my history, you'll see I'm an open book. Others aren't, and everyone has their reasons for the level of openness and willingness to interact at the levels they do.

So feeling like you've "swallowed rocks" isn't necessarily unusual. So you can think of this here as me offering you a glass of water to help keep you from choking.

I just want to thank you for your courage. Wow! Much of my life felt like a battle with constant anxiety, insecurity around people etc, so I'm always left clapping in applause when I see someone take a step. Also it gives other people "permission" to do the same. Brilliant.

Hey, to those who have replied here, thank you Just hearing such encouraging words from people have really helped. I'm still pretty nervous about talking to people, but I feel a lot more at ease here in general, I don't know if that makes sense. Really, thank you~

I've been around the WAM scene for jings, 20 years now and I'm still not great at the whole socialising thing. At meets I'm not the sort of person who'll blether endlessly, but ask me things and you'll probably get somewhere.

In terms of getting involved, simply commenting on threads is an easy starter (preferably more than "nice pics") appreciation is always nice and it is a good way to ease yourself into being more active. Also little things like clicking the hearts on things you love are a nice way to show appreciation.

I was around the UMD for years before making my first post so I completely relate to what you're saying. I hope that you are enjoying yourself around here so far.

I was just wondering about things in Portland Oregon...(if i've ASSumed the correct Portland?) but i posted it in "wetlook" because that seemed to be the best (most applicable) sub-group...

But more on the original topic..."i thought i was the only one interested in this fetish in the WHOLE wide world"...i'm going to guess 90% here (maybe more?) felt this way before finding "the community"

As has been mentioned, some are very open to post more of their personal details, and others maintain limited info for maximum anonymity.

WELCOME!

Hmm ... According to the stories of those of our friends and girlfriends, who are much older than us - several of them are already around 50 years old - it really WAS, but 20 years or more ago. Three of them have become WAM "ers without even knowing what it is called, not knowing this term. But now, it seems to us, things should be quite different ...

i think i can claim to be one of those "much older than us" (i'm 47 right now) so i spent about 10+ years feeling quite alone with this rare fascination...my term for wetlook (before i heard that term) was "aqueous factor"

In a way, it also spoiled me somewhat... many of the messy substances fascinated me somewhat because of the similar results of a gunging vs. water...

But with the "world wide wet" and SO many websites with so much material, all of a sudden, i could be very picky - down to very specific styles of clothes and methods of saturation, as well as living out fantasies that i only previously dreamed of... in a way, similar to how an alcoholic builds up greater and greater tolerance to alcohol, i don't feel the same excitement that i use to, although i can get wet more often that i use to?

Or like a music lover who grows and develops a more refined taste over time. Just mentioning this because I think the analogy with alcoholics is problematic for people who have lingering problems with their fetish. In other words: It's totally normal to become more specialized or to outgrow certain things. All part of the process of becoming who you are meant to be.

The net is dangerous to be sure as we have access to so much stuff and it can be demotivating to see what other people are doing. It's important to always remember that it's not a contest although I must admit that I quite enjoy pushing boundaries. But that's not for everybody.

Look around and see what you like, be open to new things, try out everything you fancy and have fun.

I really like your analogies towards refined tastes...(and my apologies to anyone that is struggling with recovery?) your comment has resulted in reconsideration of my previous description...which i'm afraid i'm going to emphasize further... like i've been an alcoholic the whole time, BUT, my access to alcohol was half a shot of whiskey here, a half bottle of Dos Equis a week later, and SAVORING every few drops that i received. Even when i got my hands on a 6-pack of half full beer cans, chugging one, savoring another one... Until the day i was ushered into the Liquor super-store, and told "welcome, Mr Greg, come on in...you're home now..." (i suppose it's a good thing that WAM overdose is normally not fatal)
but tolerance certainly began it's increase! Not long after that, youtube arrived on the scene...
I suppose YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary)

Well, we think it can't be otherwise. The human psyche is so arranged. You get used to everything. We, too, in the summer of 2017, when we first tried Mud and Quicksand, the impressions were sharper. It was so original!)) Although we heard about the Wrestling of Girls in the Mud and watched porn on the phone as a child, of course.)
But even now there are situations of incredibly thrill. Simply because some opportunities are very rare. For example, one of them fell out to us during all this time only three times and it is not known when the next time it will be repeated, and even whether it will be repeated at all. And in this case, yes, "every time as for the first time" (this is a very beloved proverb in East Slavic countries))

I found that ive always been into this stuff but i never realized other people where as well.

Your courage is outstanding hope your thriving and exploring

I know what you mean, everytime I come on umd I get the same insecurities, will anyone talk to me and the silences that come, even when you have the same or similar interests, can be disheartening, like discovering your fetish and then not being able to discuss it with friends for fear of being judged as a freak.

But the joy that you get when someone says yes or chats with freedom is a feeling similar to that when you first got messy, except that on here almost everyone has a fetish like yours and you can chat to your hearts delight.

So dive in, I have to each time I come on the site, you will find those who don't just want their sexual gratification satisfied and will chat with you as a real person, people who feel like you and come out of their shell here.

For me it was finding out others weren't into it. I was in my early teens there was a gunging on kids telly and I said to my friend how wrong it was as it was obviously sexual. She understood what I meant about clingy shiney transparent clothes but it was obvious she didn't see a connection between slime and sex. I was shocked. There were jokes about mud and jelly wrestling wet t shirt competition etc up until that moment I'd thought my desires were mainstream.
When I had my first sexual relationship I explained exactly what I was into but he never really got it. During that time I found the various sites like Umd. By that point it was a huge relief but at the same time I found out how diverse this fetish is. In fact it's more a group of affiliated fetishes than a single fetish. At one point I desperately wanted to chat to another woman with a wam fetish but now I realise we're all so different it transcends culture and gender.

Thanks to the internet. I discovered wam producers in 1997...*RIGHT* when the internet was starting to develop for the public market... not sure if i might have done MORE messy/muddy than the little that i might have, but all of a sudden, there was so much available wetlook material, and not just wet clothes, but formal wet, casual wet, jeans wet etc etc etc etc...

and i want to give a shout out to the dude who has decided to invest in "high-end" sex dolls, AND dress them up, and then get them soaking wet. I don't think he is registered here. I really hoped he might experience the joy of having a LIVE companion, but he had some compelling arguments for his decisions... So i mention him, because it reminded me of how my first reaction was "that's SO WEIRD" but then, i remembered that was how i felt before i found out i wasn't a solitary freak amidst the millions of "normal" people!

The first time I went to a messy event that was part of a wider kink event there was a girl who screamed and ran away shouting ewww stay away from the gungey people. At the time I'd attended the club on regular nights so I was really nervous at how the folk I'd met there would react to my messy fetish. Later when I started attending local munches and playing regularly at local clubs I created a new fetlife profile that was all WAM and gradually reduced the messy content on the original.

Wow, I have never found a messy event to attend. glad to know they are out there. There are only BDSM munches in my area, people are cool with WAM but no one else is interested.
I do hope to go to a few splunches though when we are allowed to meet up again.

I've experienced similar aspects as well