Seeing as MM started this group recently and its something I sort of talk about I figured I'd start a thread here about this.

How have you talked to your partner(s) about WAM and/or other kinks you have in the past?
What advice do you have to opening a discussion about such things?
How did your partner react?

So I'll go first obviously

So, it took me a long time to become socially comfortable with my WAM kink in general. I've been loitering around here since about 2000, but only joined up last year to give you an idea.
It wasn't hard to talk with my ex-wife at the time about other things I liked, but WAM seemed harder because it wasn't something really accepted, and people seemed to think it was weird. It took about 4 years or so into our marriage that I finally opened it up.
We were staying at a nice bed and breakfast for our anniversary in a small town and we were going to relax in the jacuzzi with some drinks and settle in for the evening. She was setting out some sexier things for later and I finally with a really red face said..."well, why don't you put them on now?" She sort of looked at me funny and said "well because we're going to get in the tub". I told her that it would be kinda hot if she wore it in and she turned red and was like "is that one of your things? What even is that about?" The discussion went from there, she tried it, it was "ok" and a couple other times over the course of our 12 year marriage. However, it was never something they liked and while wetlook was "ok", anything messy was out after the first try. They HATED it.

I wish I could say I had more advice other than please try and be open with your partners. There is a time and a place for every conversation, but there should never be something you can't talk with them about.

In my case their reaction wasn't the best, but they loved me and they tried it out.

Obviously, I'm not the best for relationship advice as we just ended that marriage over all sort of hairy issues, and hopefully someone will chime in with something better.

Just wanted to get the snowball rolling.

Would really love to hear from some of you couples on here that have had success with WAM in your relationships.

I opened up about my WAM and bondage fetish to my wife of 35 years before we were married. I'm not sure how brave I would have been to do it, but she just asked me once, very early on, if I had any sexual kinks I would be willing to share with her. At that point in my life I had never shared ANY of my kinks with ANYBODY - and that included over the Internet, because the Internet didn't even exist then as we know it today. Not surprisingly I found opening up about my kinks was the most liberating experience of my life!!

As it has turned out, she is not turned on herself by WAM, but she has been "accommodating" to me over the years. But knowing that she is just doing it "for me" I have hesitated to take advantage of it as often as I would like - so it's been mostly just on special occasions. To be honest, I'm still embarrassed to fully admit to her the true extent to which WAM is part of my sexual identity. If I were to get gunged every other day I would not tire of it - but SHE would for sure

I see I haven't really offered any usable advice here. But I will say that if WAM is an integral aspect of your sexual being, as it is with me, then it makes no sense NOT to share that with your partner or future partner. If you never do you will be forever frustrated. And if that partner reacts negatively then that's a relation you should not want anyway.

OK, context first: lesbian, relationship of almost 8 years.

I was pretty open about it from the get go to be fair - we started with the more "vanilla" things like chocolate and cream - then I opened up to her and admitted to enjoying full body mess and things like gunge.

To this day, she still messes me, but isn't keen on getting messy herself. In an ideal world, I'd like her to join in sometimes, but I'm grateful for what I have, and know that many others don't have this - or are even too worried to confess to their partners.

My wife of 28 years knows nothing about any of my kinks! We don't really get on and lead separate-ish lives and are together only for the sake of our son. All my WAM ing and other activity for many years has been, er, away fixtures

You've alluded to this before here and there. I'm sorry it sounds like a pretty sad situation. I don't know anything about you (other than your online posts from here and Splosh!) or your family, it's probably very complicated - so I can only give you my story.

I 'came out' to my ex-wife early on - but quickly climbed back into the closet and closed the door again after only a couple of days as it became clear her initial tolerance was not quite what I'd anticipated following the relief of confessing to someone after - at that point - already over a decade of adult life of WAM secrecy; She couldn't accept that the obsession *might*, at some point, involve looking at other women messy. It was easier to keep her out of it.

We had kids but the marriage became ever more difficult as the years went on as - although she had clearly forgotten about WAM - she was a very difficult person to live with - a sort of Jekyll and Hyde, flipping from vulnerable and scared to being increasingly controlling and abusive towards me. During this time, I successfully managed to indulge in WAM online in complete secrecy, amassing a large collection of pictures and movies over the years (I always kept credit card statements private). But it was a miserable existence.

A few months after splitting up and getting back together for the children and financial reasons I met the woman I'm with now. Her marriage had been failing too over a long period of time and she was getting out. To cut a long story short - we thought each other the bee's knees. Of course, she has way more than tolerated WAM - but it's not her own fetish. We are lucky enough that we understand each other and it's a small part of something much bigger.

We separated from our spouses soon after. Of course, all hell broke loose on my side and I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy the acrimony, heartache, near bankruptsy that followed up to and after the divorce.

It's difficult, but it's not that difficult these days to create a stable home for children with estranged parents if you're prepared to put the work in. You can be divorced and living on the other side of the world - but the conflict must stop and - even if you and your ex hate each other - as the parents you can still be allied in their interests.

What I'm trying to say is that staying together may well not be doing them any more favours in terms of what they see and absorb about adult relationships. If you can't be yourself in your relationship - It's not real. The kids pick it up. What the shrinks call not 'authentic' - It's a time-bomb. It's all going to blow up eventually.

I have never dared to tell my partners, not even my wife when I met and married her. For me my fetish has been very embarrassing. However, one day the wife found a USB-drive with selected images of me in wet clothes. BAD times. Until I explained a bit more in detail what I feel about the look of women in wet clothes. She now accepts this and she wears wet stuff in the shower for me. Its not a turn on for her so just to make me happy.

The thing I have not yet told her (which I really should have told her during the BAD times) is that I also like to wear wet clothes and get turned on by it. As well as posting images here. At the time I felt it would have been too much for her to accept - I do not think I made the right decision though.

Living in cold Sweden its difficult to have wet fun outdoors but on a few hot days when the wife is away, I may get the odd occasion to wet in a lake or in the sea.

This coming summer during our holidays abroad I will ask the wife to wear a dress to swim in - if we find a secluded beach - and maybe, maybe, she will like it, perhaps as much as I do.

But for now I will do my wet sessions by myself.

Its really sad for me to see how much similarity there is in the WAM community to how the LGBT community was even just 15 years ago. So many more people were "in the closet" because they were so scared of retribution, embarrassment, etc.

I still deal with it to some extent in other aspects of my life too. I truly hope I live to see a day where people have become more liberated, open and honest. Living in the shadows is exhausting.

Yes, for sure. But I also think we need to be honest about there are like hundreds of different fetishes. If my wife one day said, "...I enjoy fisting or S/M..." with whips and stuff, I'm not sure I would agree to join. I wouldn't mind her doing it at all, however. But if she said the is turned on by wellies I would just laugh and start wearing rubber boots to bed, or whatever.

So, for me it is more of embarrassment than anything else. Even though she will join me in the shower with a t-shirt I still feel soooooooo stupid asking her. It would feel much better if she would do it proactively. I know I would if she had some kink (that I would agree to, that is).

Some great advice here! Seems like several of us are lucky enough to have partners willing to accommodate to our fetishes. If I may reiterate a point I feel many may look over - don't rush it. Be subtle, but persistent. The occasional gunging or wetlook session may seem illusive and frustratingly far apart - but ask yourself if it is worth staying with this person. If so, you will find a way to make it work. If not, it would appear you have bigger issues...