I hope everyone here have been and is doing well

That said, there are some stuff that I wanted to get off my chest and get some insights or opnions about. Since my last post here, I've been doing well for the most part but I have been struggling a bit for a few days. I chat with wammers, which I am super, super thankful about. But at times (broadly for non-wam interactions as well) I feel as if I'm giving more than I receive in chats or social interactions. I would think I did something wrong when the other person doesn't respond for some time. And I would panic if the message goes unread or unreplied to for some days. While I try to put my mind away from it (which I know I should), my mind inexplicably returns to it and start over thinking, gives me mini panics along the way, like "Would they think I'm ignoring them?", "would it be too pushy to message them back after 3 days? Should I wait 5?"

Now, I know I should do my best to put my mind away from it and focus on my life. I know that they are probably busy and meanwhile, my messages got buried. I know that I'm probably over reacting and this situation will be over, like it has before for so many times. I know that I'm probably trying to grasp at a situation where I have little to no control anyways. But all that doesn't change much in the way I think. My mind will wander around and wonder about why they aren't replying, why my pictures aren't getting loved, liked, faved or whatever it is.

Now I'm wondering if I'm using my wam pictures to just get attention. Sure it does give me joy to cover myself in various types of mess and it also gives me joy to get some amount of attention by uploading and talking about pics from it. But I feel, as of now, the balance has been tipped towards tha latter more than the former and I wonder if I should take a break from it. But even then part of the reason I'm uploading this here is to get attention, admittedly. Sorry if I'm posting too often here.

I really wish to stay strong or at least get mentally stronger than this. I get this kind of emotion almost whenever similar situations happen and I'm not sure if I can afford to have it happen so often as much as it does right now. Any help would be welcomed.

Thanks so much for reading this wall of text

If you feel such a need for a response that you already perceive it as an addiction, it is a good way to periodically make a general pause in Internet communication. It could be a week or two when you are not communicating with anyone on the Internet or reading e-mail (unless this is vital to your work or to communicate with loved ones remote from you).

Thanks for the tip! While I don't think I will be able to really pull such a withdrawl off, I will try to perhaps be a bit more offline at times. Not sure if I can even pull that off, but really, thanks for the help

Loneliness

that is such a horrible feeling.

By receiving attention, that is reassurance that you exist. That is as simple as making eye contact with another person. That other person essentially is acknowledging that you exist.

If you post a picture and everyone loves it, that shows you that other people see you, and acknowledge you.

Whether you're feeling down about the number of comments on your latest Instagram post, or just have that sense that no one else really gets you, you've experienced it. Feeling lonely is, perhaps ironically, universal.

https://psychiatry.uchicago.edu/news/17-easy-things-do-when-youre-feeling-lonely

But, what is loneliness, exactly? Simply put, "it's the discrepancy between what you have and what you want from your relationships," says Stephanie Cacioppo, PhD, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at the University of Chicago, who specializes in the study of loneliness and social cognition.

Along my philosophical journeys, one idea i came across is that feeling lonely is actually an awareness of being disconnected from your creator.

If you don't believe that there is a creator, then you will not try to connect with...

"him"

or "her"

or "it" (and i am not sure if it is an it, or a her, or a him) but i say him, her or it because such is the english language - how to describe this higher power.

but i can tell you that now that i feel a much stronger connection with the creator, i don't experience the horrible feeling of loneliness.

Honestly, i still kind of DO still experience the feeling of loneliness, but it is more like when you feel hungry, but then once you eat something, then you don't feel hungry anymore. So when i start to feel lonely, i know i need to reconnect with our creator...

Thank you for such an insightful reply.

I have sometimes thought about what the whole meaning about wamming and sharing the results with others. Sure it may be that I enjoy doing it, which I genuinely feel that but I feel that I sometimes want to be more acknowledged than actually get messy. I just yearn for praises and some amount envies at times. I will have to do something about that loneliness Ifeel.

While I don't have a religion, I feel as if I should try to find some sort of meaning to the things that I do. Or at least someone that I can trust will acknoweldge the stuff that I do. Perhaps I should do some purpose searching.

Thanks so much for the help

Co-sign
I'm in need of this as well in a lot of way have you considered getting into yoga or meditation?

i would not try to find any kind of meaning connected to WAM, at least not within any conventional religious boundaries? Errr... let me narrow that down to Christian boundaries! And for other religions i know even less!

Why any of us got interested in WAM has been a topic of discussion since the internet began to connect all of us, and let us realize we were not the single oddball person that was fascinated with the particular subject! At this point, i see this more of a "how it happened" more than any conclusive answer as to why... i mean, consider the diversity within WAM... many are ONLY into one specific area - water, mud, pies... and others that are into ALL of them.

on a parallel note, i dare say that many guys here never had a good "Manly" role model, so there is the strong desire to have a girlfriend/wife, but no idea how to go about that. I certainly belonged to that group earlier in my life. A few people learn the "Rules of the Game" which bypasses the unpredictable "luck" hopefulness (to get "lucky" and meet Mrs.Perfect) that is the default in absence of skills & knowledge.

There is the hope to meet someone that is into this too, but i dare say greater success will be found with "early conversion"...that is to say, meet someone you might build a relationship with, and VERY EARLY (before any significant investment has occurred) test that person out as a possible new member of the WAM community, or at least someone that can accept this part of you, as part of the relationship.

Le sigh...

All is easier said than done, BUTT... can provide great rewards & happiness!

While I would be working towqards that eventually, I feel that I lack the confidence I need to meet that someone. I will definitely be working on it, perhaps now a bit more than I have before. But really, thanks for giving me a new perspective to what I should do in the situations I face.