I'm with gf for a year not sure time to bring up wam with her. or we each live with parents go out on date so not sure if wait for time we be able to try it
jfs said: I'm with gf for a year not sure time to bring up wam with her. or we each live with parents go out on date so not sure if wait for time we be able to try it
I mean, are you guys intimate? If you are, or getting to that point, talking about it is probably a good idea. Have you asked her about things she might like or be into?
Are you guys just living at home temporarily? Can you take a romantic weekend vacation somewhere together?
jfs said: I'm with gf for a year not sure time to bring up wam with her. or we each live with parents go out on date so not sure if wait for time we be able to try it
I mean, are you guys intimate? If you are, or getting to that point, talking about it is probably a good idea. Have you asked her about things she might like or be into?
Are you guys just living at home temporarily? Can you take a romantic weekend vacation somewhere together?
discussion hasn't come up we haven't gotten to sex don't know when. At movies times she let me feel her books and she feels.my area. When I feel I'm ready and can afford live by myself i plan to get my own don't know about her since she not working finishing her education now.
I don't think the timing is as important as how you tell your partner.
Be confident, be sure about what your saying, own it, as the cool quirky side of you that it is. Make it about something you would love to do with them, not something you love watching or doing alone. Make it about your partner. If you nail that, then any time will be the right time.
Hi All good advice so far from the other guys. Being as honest as you can about what ever you have in your nature is a good thing to talk through and hopefully experiment with. I would say always be prepared to compromise and give your partner what they want too, then hopefully you can work out a way forward that works for you both. Give things time don't expect a quick result and always be as positive as you can be about your feelings and your relationship. Kind regards Jane.
LisaMoomin said: I don't think the timing is as important as how you tell your partner.
Be confident, be sure about what your saying, own it, as the cool quirky side of you that it is. Make it about something you would love to do with them, not something you love watching or doing alone. Make it about your partner. If you nail that, then any time will be the right time.
Good luck!
that is sort of thing I'm nervous to and not sure way to bring it up to her as this is first time in general
I have told a number of girlfriends about my kink, I am a confident person but even I struggled so don't worry, fear is natural but it only controls you if you let it.
If the fear does get too bad, 1 method I used was to tell a partner that I had a kink and then gave her a written description of what I liked but with reassurance that she didn't need to participate! I sat with her while she read it and then we discussed the outcome.
Honesty is key as this is for you, your girlfriend will have wants/needs too.
This being said, she might accept the kink but not do it as is her right. One of my GFs wanted to see examples of porn...she was "disgusted"!
LisaMoomin said: I don't think the timing is as important as how you tell your partner.
Be confident, be sure about what your saying, own it, as the cool quirky side of you that it is. Make it about something you would love to do with them, not something you love watching or doing alone. Make it about your partner. If you nail that, then any time will be the right time.
Good luck!
that is sort of thing I'm nervous to and not sure way to bring it up to her as this is first time in general
That's why I brought up the intimacy question. If getting messy is something intimate for you, then it makes sense to talk about it when you're discussing intimate topics. It makes it easier and more natural to transition into the topic too.
jfs said: At movies times she let me feel her books
If you're reading braille at the movies, you should probably pick more interesting movies.
LisaMoomin said: I don't think the timing is as important as how you tell your partner.
Be confident, be sure about what your saying, own it, as the cool quirky side of you that it is. Make it about something you would love to do with them, not something you love watching or doing alone. Make it about your partner. If you nail that, then any time will be the right time.
Good luck!
that is sort of thing I'm nervous to and not sure way to bring it up to her as this is first time in general
That's why I brought up the intimacy question. If getting messy is something intimate for you, then it makes sense to talk about it when you're discussing intimate topics. It makes it easier and more natural to transition into the topic too.
jfs said: At movies times she let me feel her books
If you're reading braille at the movies, you should probably pick more interesting movies.
autocorrect I meant boobs lol. Yeah if topic like sexual related stuff or kinkscome up I mention it. Wasn'sure another way to start.
LisaMoomin said: I don't think the timing is as important as how you tell your partner.
Be confident, be sure about what your saying, own it, as the cool quirky side of you that it is. Make it about something you would love to do with them, not something you love watching or doing alone. Make it about your partner. If you nail that, then any time will be the right time.
Good luck!
that is sort of thing I'm nervous to and not sure way to bring it up to her as this is first time in general
Like Silversea says, fear is natural, honesty, openness and communication are the keys to any relationships. When talking about intimacy, maybe admit there's something your still trying to work out for yourself, but something you deeply want to share with them, and maybe something you can explore together?
LisaMoomin said: I don't think the timing is as important as how you tell your partner.
Be confident, be sure about what your saying, own it, as the cool quirky side of you that it is. Make it about something you would love to do with them, not something you love watching or doing alone. Make it about your partner. If you nail that, then any time will be the right time.
Good luck!
that is sort of thing I'm nervous to and not sure way to bring it up to her as this is first time in general
Like Silversea says, fear is natural, honesty, openness and communication are the keys to any relationships. When talking about intimacy, maybe admit there's something your still trying to work out for yourself, but something you deeply want to share with them, and maybe something you can explore together? Lisa x
Yeah that is good leeway just a topic hasn't come up yet. Or talk about
Before I knew there was a community of like minds (a supportive community I may add!), I thought there was something wrong with me.
My husband and I were dating just about a year or 2 when he started revealing some of his kinks that he was in (I wasn't). I remember that night too! He was taking me home and when we started talking about it, I was like "drive around the block one more time!" I supported him with knowing his kinks, not necessarily wanting to be tied up or whipped.
Still thinking something was wrong with me, I diverted the pie/mess part as a bet with my husband (then, BF) since we play cards a lot. You know, "loser gets..." kind of deal. I think it was walk into muddy pond with no shoes on or something... maybe an egg cracked on head... something like that.
That's how I told him my kink (and then discovering a community of people like me validated more of it, like I was normal! It was an exciting discovery for me that night!)
I accept his kinks, he accepts mine. I'm not into BDSM (or whatever it's called) but I'll pleasure him using his kinks. He's not at all into wam or being pushed in the pool with clothes on but he knows I am and will slap a pie in my face or push me into a pool at my request.
Honesty, trust, acceptance... all of that built in.
Side note: unfortunately he didn't smear wedding cake on my face at our reception and I didn't get to jump into a pool with my wedding dress on. He's the only, the ONLY one that knows and our family would not understand or accept. That's why I have all of you here that I can talk to!
floridamama said: Before I knew there was a community of like minds (a supportive community I may add!), I thought there was something wrong with me.
My husband and I were dating just about a year or 2 when he started revealing some of his kinks that he was in (I wasn't). I remember that night too! He was taking me home and when we started talking about it, I was like "drive around the block one more time!" I supported him with knowing his kinks, not necessarily wanting to be tied up or whipped.
Still thinking something was wrong with me, I diverted the pie/mess part as a bet with my husband (then, BF) since we play cards a lot. You know, "loser gets..." kind of deal. I think it was walk into muddy pond with no shoes on or something... maybe an egg cracked on head... something like that.
That's how I told him my kink (and then discovering a community of people like me validated more of it, like I was normal! It was an exciting discovery for me that night!)
I accept his kinks, he accepts mine. I'm not into BDSM (or whatever it's called) but I'll pleasure him using his kinks. He's not at all into wam or being pushed in the pool with clothes on but he knows I am and will slap a pie in my face or push me into a pool at my request.
Honesty, trust, acceptance... all of that built in.
Side note: unfortunately he didn't smear wedding cake on my face at our reception and I didn't get to jump into a pool with my wedding dress on. He's the only, the ONLY one that knows and our family would not understand or accept. That's why I have all of you here that I can talk to!
Having a community for support is important. It was what helped me understand I wasn't abnormal in my thoughts or desires. I'm glad you found a place and a partner with whom you can be open, because living in secret can be caustic to our souls.