I'm sure most or everyone here get messy to make themselves happy and I do too.


Well that is kinda..
Of course, I did start out getting messy because I wanted to, which I still do. But as I upload more and more photos on my account (now over 100 - is it a good milestone to reach?) it's becoming apperant that I want more. Now, after I upload pictures of my messy time, I care a bit too much about the 'love' I get here. 5? Not enough, needs to be more, 8? may be, 10? now that's good enough - that's how things usually go inside of my head.

And I know that is unhealthy, but like most unhealthy habits, I just can't help it. And even worse is I start comparing. If someone with similar build to me, using similar stuff, taking similar photos get more 'loves', I start questioning myself - am I not having 'good enough' mess? may be I don't look good enough? perhaps it's the way I take my pictures? etc. And it really takes the joy out of "the thing" I've been waiting 20+ years of my life to finally grow enough guts to pull off. Even as I write this, I wonder/worry how many replies I'd get.

May be it's because I'm lonely and I seek approval, I want to be "one of you guys" if that's the right term to use. Every day I log on to umd - more than I would be proud to admit - just to check if there's something up, and most times slightly get disappointed that there is nothing at all. I just wish that people would reach out to me or talk to me or may be just acknowledge me. But then the passing compliments that makes me happy would fade away so quickly, makes me wonder if I can ever be happy.

So I just wanted to hear you guys' thoughts on this, or to know if there are similar experiences out there. Thanks.

That is 100% it. And many of us are in the same boat, but we may seek validation in different ways. Personally I don't care if someone here hearts my stuff or not. Well, that's not entirely true, it all depends on WHO hearts something. It means a lot more if I see it's from someone here I identify with as a friend than a random person.

So, the fact that you identified it and think it's a problem is good, you're not ignorant of it. How to "fix" it however is going to be a bit more difficult because everyone handles and views things differently.

I'd take a look at things outside of here. Do you have approval, validation, friends, and love ones outside of here? If so, that's really good, and what your looking at is more limited to this little corner of your world.

If not, then in my experience finding something that you do well and makes you feel fulfilled on your own will bring you a sense of satisfaction and confidence. That in turn will help bolster that self esteem in other aspects of your life to varying degrees.

But what you're feeling certainly isn't wrong. We're social creatures, we NEED approval and acceptance to survive on a certain level.

I guess I do have a mild preference of who hearts my stuff but I would say that it's more accurate to say that I'm looking more at the numbers than the people.

And as for things outside of here, I would say I am doing okay but I do have this chronic sense of loneliness that just wouldn't budge at all. And I would say that I am looking for a close wam friend on this site as well, however feasible it may be. I want someone that I can relate with, all the while I'm wanting to find someone that I can have wam sessions with and etc. Perhaps I am wanting too much.

And as for stuff outside that gives me confidence and all, I want to focus more on the 'messy situation' I have with mess related stuff.

Thanks so much for the reply and your help!

I think most humans seek validation in some form or another. One of the biggest hurdles in existence is learning to validate yourself. I had been making messy art for a while before I showed up here on UMD, and while I have found the community very inviting, I have become quite aware that what I produce isn't exactly what a vast majority of the WAM consumers are looking for. At first I was a little put off by the fact that a lot of producers and models would post a thread about a new set that would get pages and pages of replies, meanwhile I'd be lucky to get three or four replies, never mind pages. Thankfully the people who do enjoy my work continue to support it and make the effort of producing continue to be worthwhile. On top of that I've helped a few people who didn't know they had it, develop their interest in being messy so I guess it's a double win. In the end, only YOU can decide that what you do or what you produce is worthwhile. As long as you're having fun then who care about anybody else? Thankfully I discovered this principal when I was very young (probably 8 or 9 years old) and I gave up seeking the approval of others and went about my life enjoying things as I saw fit. That's been a huge part of what has influenced my fashion aesthetic, hair styles, tattoo placement and body mods as well. I say don't bother worrying about what everybody else is up to. If you like what you do, do the thing!

Co-sign

I'll also add I'm in the same boat at times I see mess and water as a painting or a portrait to the self the part that comes out that was hiding or revoke in some capacity as we grow into are bodies as beings and people. It's important to remember that not everyone is an the same time length or journey as someone else. I try to help with upvotes and the heart symbol but at times I wonder if I'm just feeding an insatiable beast of a machine that won't let go of my attention because I get inspired and my imagination draws me into how amazing and incredible people are when they figure them selfs out than share that aspect of the discovery with a hidden yet visible audience of familiar strangers with user names and pixilated photos of captured moments that seem to ever continue into forever for as long as forever is.

Overall I'm typing this while I'm asleep may edit if I'm not making any sense but just give yourself permission to be unique in how you express yourself and why you express yourself and for who first and foremost matters in all of that. You come first before anyone else. Your in no obligated to appease anyone just do your own thing and admire how cool that is for you.


Easier type than applied but remember how much your work mattered for you to even start. Start with Muddylynx than create Muddylynx 2.0

Thanks for the kind reply. I suppose what you've accomplished is the ideal goal for me; to influence those around me and may be get them to like some of the things I like. Perhaps that is why I'm a bit pressured to get more likes since I want to be approved.
But then I suppose it should always be the case where I am confident with the work I do. After all I would need that to feel more comfortable with who I am. I hope I can have the courage! Thanks


Again, thanks for the kind reply. I seldom thought about wam as a way to express myself rather as a means to have fun on my own way. But considering the fascination I had with people who are painted like art pieces or who turned themselves into a walking block of color, or just cover themselves in various stuff, I have to say I now see that it is a way to express myself - be it with the mess I use or the color I choose or the poses I take. Thanks for giving me a new perspective.

I do not know whta Muddylynx 2.0 would look like, but now I know better how to better fulfill the Muddylynx side of my self.

Thanks so much to all of you guys

being the person I am mad (depressed & anxiety) I just want to be excepted and when put down dam it hurts.... but im learning to deal with it

I do enjoy getting some interaction and seeing that people are enjoying the stuff I put out - in a way it's turning around something about me that it took me a while to accept into something that's actually appreciated. But getting too focused on the numbers probably isn't so helpful for me.
Apart from anything else, the number of likes you get is quite fickle - the same video posted at different times could get very different levels of interaction. I notice that comments on a photo or video lead to more interaction too, because the content appears on the wall again. And a batch of photos will always get more likes than a single video even though the video might be a lot more work. There are all these little factors feeding into the numbers that don't directly reflect how good the content is. So if you're doing WAM stuff and making pictures or video for your own personal satisfaction, it's better to just do it in the way that's most fulfilling for you. I think it's only worth trying to be strategic and game things for the most interaction if your goal is to make an income from your content.

This is me 100%. Especially in the past I'd get really bothered by when a person made a new account and a day later was WOTD after posting only a few photos. For me I worked really had to have highly attractive photos on my accounts of old. After being on umd a combined 3 years and posting what I believe about 150 photos I finally got WOTD. But yo me it wasn't that I reached a goal but rather I realized the spotlight was one me and maybe that's not what I wanted after all. Honestly that was a pivotal moment in my time on umd. I went from wanting the most attention out of any woman in the site to being happy in my small community. I now have a few people I share my adventures with and a Kik group I host which is other walkers in and from Asia. I found that the small communities are better for me and I like to have a more direct relationship with people rather than getting lots of views from people I don't know.

I still do seek approval. Sharing my photos I always want to see what my friends say. They're always nice, but of course I have self esteem and body image issues do I also use it to help me feel better about myself and keep moving another day.

I will try to do that to the best of my ability. Trying new stuff that I always wanted to or to try new poses so I can better capture my joy in the moment. After all, I am not looking to make money off of this, just to maximize the fun, joy and pleasure from it.


Now, I would say that the pivotal moment has never came to me but then I don't have a spcefic goal in mind with this apart from getting to interact more. Perhaps it could be nice for me to have a small but firm community of people with similar interests and taste and etc. Even outside of WAM, I do have some parts of my social life that I am not fully satisfied with, but I think with WAM, where I am being as 'myself' as possible, it could be easier to mend those issues.

Thanks for the kind replies

Thanks for your reply!
I think you summed up nicely the way I feel at times. To want more than the personal joy of covering myself in mess; be it from blanketing myself from what attention I get or hoping someone would strike a conversation with me. And even then I think you said it perfectly when you said that not wanting validation is still seeking validation from myself.

And thanks, so so much, for the last sentence!