I guess that really depends on how much you love them and how much they love you. Rarely are those figures (if quantifiable) equal. Attraction, interest, desire, all come and go for each of us. Sometimes they go and never come back.

But love isn't any of those things; love is doing what you think is in another's best interest regardless of what it costs you. That can be physical touch like hugging or sex at the time, it can be giving food to a homeless person, or sacrificing something for your child.

Love isn't give and take, it's just give. Sometimes people end up in relationships where on party is giving, and the other isn't so much. Or maybe both are, but one party doesn't feel loved because they aren't receiving what they need to feel loved.

This is how we end up with ugly divorces, and even uglier marriages where people won't divorce. Sometimes people stay together out of need, or comfort, but rarely does it seem to be desire as time marches on.

I think you're right about love. But the key is that a relationship is not just love, it's reciprocated love, so both halves need to be giving (and, by implication, taking). If that giving becomes conspicuouly unequal I suspect it can wither on both sides until the love is no longer there at all. Which is why I implied that if one party in a relationship seems unwilling to "give", the other party should just check that it's not because their own "giving" has withered away as well.

But clearly I don't know the background to the people on this thread, so these theories may be way off the mark when applied to specific individuals here.

No, you're right on mark here. Personally one of my many problems is I tend to give even when I'm not receiving anything back; whether that's romance, friends, family etc.

PotatomanK, I know what that is like, but I decided that was better for me than the alternative, but it may be easier for me as I don't have a lot of friends and don't actively seek them out.

Well most of my x have try it non have enjoy it as much as me. My girlfriend has done wetlook with me but doesnt like it and it's not her thing. But she hates the messy part of it and doesn't approve of me doing it so I have to wait till she at work to have some fun and make sure I leave the bathroom in the same state she left it in so she doesn't find out. The only trouble is if I get messy I have to clean dry my clothes and the area before she gets home which in the summer is no problem but the winter the clothes don't dry fast enough sometimes. So yeah I know what some people are going through so satisfy a kink.

It's not to bad at least I get the time to do it even tho it has to be planned out and she caugh me out a few times with stuff drying on the radiator which I didn't put away in time

Just throw my hat in the ring late on this...

I was really open with my GF (now wife) about what I was into... Honestly, I was too open. We tried it and... **Big Tip Incoming here** I went too far too fast... I should have, as some had suggested, tried a little pudding... I went straight with a gallon of treacle (yes... I am an idiot)

That was 25 years ago - she hated sploshing, she hates that I have a fetish...

How do I cope? - at times, I don't.

I have never cheated on her, I never will... I have been close and I have had WAM sessions, but (as much as possible) non-sexually. I write weird fiction (no longer on here for... reasons)

I sometimes do self-WAM, I'm hoping to next week when they are out. It will be a massive build-up for a disappointing scene. It doesn't really work for me, but I NEED it.

I dream of what could have been, having met someone else who I didn't put off mess, but my misses is too special to me.

Please, don't load me down with the 'even thinking about it' is cheating. I have been lambasted, insulted and threatened over the years... (I know you lovely people wouldn't) I am where I am...