if you were going to do that *secretly* then i would say "yes" that would be a form of cheating... but "your mileage may vary" and for that matter, if your S/SO has zero interest in participating with your wamming, i find that a particular red flag...

Maybe talk with a relationship counselor? Alone *OR* together...

Maybe talk with your S/SO? (if that is an option)

Or ask further questions *HERE* (is always an option!)

My wife and I participate often. We both enjoy getting messy.

These new wamstructions from Candy might be a help:

https://umd.net/download_info/ivys-gunge-your-guy-wamstructions

https://wamstructions.umd.net/download_info/gunge-your-girl-wamstructions

You're a very lucky man! Please share with us how you got your wife into wam?

I asked her if she wanted to try it after we got home from a concert. She was all dressed up for this concert and it was downtown Chicago. When we got back to her place, I mixed up the slime and poured it on her in her shower and it just clicked for her. So that is how I introduced her to it. Been wamming together ever since.

Ich habe es noch nie mit Schlamm, Essen oder anderen Substanzen probiert. Das ist auch nicht mein Interesse. Meine Vorliebe ist Wetlook und damit gab es von Anfang an keine Probleme. Ich brauchte meine Ex-Frau und zwei nachfolgende Partnerinnen nicht lange zu bitten. Sie liebten es selbst und gingen von sich aus sehr oft mit Rock, Kleid und Petticoat ins Wasser. Leider bin ich seit 6 Jahren Single und in meinem Alter ist es schwierig, wieder eine Frau mit diesen Interessen zu finden.

My gf and I do it together all the time!

Cheating is always relative to the couple. Even with great communication working out what would constitute cheating is a total mine field. Sadly few relationships have great communication. If I ask my partners opinions then his answers change with his mood. There's been numerous occasions I'm sure I've clearly communicated something to him and he's completely missed it; particularly where it involved my relationships with others (I was poly when we first got together).
The sad truth is even if your wife says it's ok she might find she feels differently after you've done it.
Money can be a really emotional issue too. My partner often does things without consulting me like give away or buy expensive equipment. Although our money is separate it really annoys me. If our money wasn't separate it would be a major issue.

Why do you think age is an issue? I suppose the older someone if the more people their own age have paired up so there are less potential partners.

All me ex's and current GF participate. Some did it because I liked it. Others couldn't get enough. Started with my GF when I was 17. Got her wet with the hose on our first date when I took her home. Her dad wondered why the water was on so late at night I later found out. She was hooked and Bi and did it with her female friends and would show me pictures. Currently dating a woman (in her 60's) who encourages me. I am also a crossdresser and am only allowed to wear at a minimum silky Panties when we are together and when we relax I have to "Dress comfortably" when we relax. She also encourages a shower.
Ive been lucky. Don't be afraid to bring it up if you are dating someone. Either they will be into your fetish or you will spend your life hiding it.

Sounds a lot like us. We met on a blind date - we lived about 45 minutes apart and I picked a nice casual restaurant that was in-between. We agreed to meet after work. I got tied up on a conference call and was late (I WAS able to call her and let her know, so she wasn't wondering!) When I got there, she was out on the back patio of the restaurant waiting for me. As luck would have it, there was a small pool on the back patio, and she had removed her heels and was sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling her (stockinged) feet in the water. I walked over and said hi, apologized for being late, then kicked my shoes and socks off and sat down beside her with my feet in the water too. We started talking over a drink, sitting there on the edge of the pool. We were hitting it off quite well, and since it was a muggy Texas evening, I dared her to just slide into the pool and cool off! She smiled and said "no way, I'm not going to be all soaked in the pool while you're dry!" I said I'd follow her in but she wouldn't believe me - so eventually I just slid into the water, in my dress slacks and shirt. She was shocked but shocked and as soon as she said "I can't believe you did that" she willingly joined me in her office skirt and blouse! We swam around for a while as we continued to chat, and then climbed out and sat at an outdoor table and had dinner, still both soaked!

I'm a VERY lucky guy! That was almost 14 years ago, we're both now in our 60s, and we've had many wet (and occasionally messy) adventures over the years and continue to do so. She enjoys it as much as I do, and it almost always leads to fantastic sex! Most of our adventures are at the end of a dressy "date night" out for dinner, the symphony or other adventures. Its usually out in public, she could care less how dressed up she is and if others see her or not - which makes it even hotter! We've been in many hotel and resort pools together over the year, along with many public fountains - there's one lovely splash pool right outside the symphony hall that's great fun! There's absolutely NOTHING in her large clothes and high heels collection that she will hesitate to get wet in. Most clothing survives fine, even the silks and other dry clean only outfits - and when they occasionally DON'T survive, we agree the fun was worth it - and I make it a point to often add to her clothes and shoes collection.

Just thought I would add my latest activities.

I recently bought a black leather jumpsuit that was cheap on a local sale site that I was going to use to get my wife messy in. We did our usual wait of her going to the gym then coming home to have a shower which is when I get to pie her. I showed her the jumpsuit just before she put it on and surprisingly looked at it with great interest. I never thought she would accept it other than to wear it for a messing then I usually clean it up and donate it to charity. This time she actually put it on and started to take a long interest in it saying she liked it and wanted to keep it. I was completely surprised by this and explained I only bought to mess it up. Anyway, she still let me mess her and the suit up that day as usual and took a video. I cleaned it up then left it.

A couple of weeks later on valentines days we were both off work so went out for lunch together. She asked to wear the jumpsuit and I was completely surprised as I thought she was joking. She put it on and looked great in it. My heart was pounding so much. As I was getting ready myself she came out of the bathroom with two pies and splatted me in the face and head then put the foam all over my leather jacket and trousers. She knew what that would do to me and we were late to our lunch. I got cleaned up and had a nice afternoon.

A few nights ago she said she was going out with friends and would wear the suit again. I then used this as an opportunity I would never normally do when she isn't expecting it. I got a big pie ready around midnight knowing she would be home shortly after. I hid the pie and waited for her to come home. She opened the door a few minutes later so I went to greet her. I had my phone with me and I said I wanted some pictures of her in her suit as she looked good. I put my phone down after leaving it on video mode. I told her to stand still then quickly ran to get the pie. She asked what was I doing then saw and started to giggle. I placed the pie firmly in her face rubbing it in. She was still giggling under the foam then I rubbed the pie down her jumpsuit all the way down to her feet. She was covered and she just stood there covered. I helped her clean up soon after but the video is amazing. I'll try and edit a couple of stills to not show her face but just the suit covered. She got revenge again about an hour later.

Just thought I'd share.

Clearly!

Can now say she does. Had loads of fun in our first session & shes the one pushing to do it again. All it took was being up front & clear - "this is something I like and want to to do with you" and she wasn't disgusted with the idea, didn't laugh, but was quite excited & interested. Makes me wish I'd spoken up sooner.

My girlfriend was a little tipsy and got into the shower in a black maxi dress after happy hour a few weeks ago and I think that was her first time realizing that this stuff turns me on. Then she did it a week later when I had a project win at work (we had been grocery shopping and she just threw it on because she hadn't showered). We were gonna do it again this weekend for our anniversary but after dinner we were so tired we were asleep by ~10pm.

She's open about the fact that she only does it because she knows it turns me on but I also don't think she dislikes it. But I think I prefer it that way because it's like a special occasion kind of thing. I really want to see her get wet in a striped one but I'm not gonna press it.

I have absolutely zero desire to try anything apart from that shower because oddly enough I have no desire to do it myself, I just like watching other people doing it.

I think it all depends on the communication. Me and my partner talked early on about boundaries and hard limits. We both enjoy some things the other doesn't as much, but we compromise. I've only just discovered this scene and he's very supportive and considering trying a few sessions with me. We both agree that pleasing the other person is a big factor in any decision. I've seen far too many people end up miserable or split up because they don't open up to each other and it ends up becoming a big thing. I understand that coming out with certain kinks can be hard but I can honestly say from experience that being judged and not beginning a proper relationship hurts alot less than losing an established one from secrets.

My wife isn't into it and finds it uncomfortable. She's messed me a few times and we got messy together when we'd just started dating but not since. She has no issues at all in me getting messy and is happy to make pies for me and gives them to me when I have my eyes closed so I can pie myself with the filling as a surprise.

Adding onto mine-she did the shower thing again and I got a really good picture of her in the shower in the soaking wet dress. Next up is the jean jacket. I'm going to be gone a solid portion of the weekend of the 16th because of homecoming at my alma mater so I'm thinking I'll ask her if she wants to do a nice dinner and a movie and then hope that it's warm enough that she wears it and things happen after said date.

I wish I could get my spouse to try it. But she seems incapable of doing anything exciting like that. All she seems to want to do is cower behind her anxiety.

My wife would prefer not to, but knows how much I enjoy it so has entertained the fetish from time to time. She did completely rule it out a few years ago, she hated the lingering smells that food would leave on hair and in drain pipes etc.
I asked about using gunge on her which she was apprehensive about at first and thought its completely bonkers!! But she gave it a go and to my surprise she really enjoyed it.
Now she has used my fetish as a trade-off, I have smoked weed daily for years which she doesn't like due to health concerns and cost, so around a year ago she said if I can cut my smoking down to once a week she'll splosh once every 2 months. So needless to say I only get high on a Friday

I don't want to say came clean, but finally told my girlfriend about the kink and she's all for it. We've been kinda brainstorming and whatnot the last few days in regards to how we're going to experiment in it. Wetlook is definitely on the table because that's how we got into all this, possibly mud, and she's weirdly into the idea of getting gunged (her words) because she thinks it would be similar in consistency to cum.

We're trying to figure out how to go about all this (is it possible to gunge someone with a super soaker?). Might ask if she wants to buy like a cheap ass dress and jean jacket off Shein in case it gets ruined from us experimenting.

It feels like a very utilitarian session instead of a pleasurable action, she makes no attempts to reciprocate pleasurable touching for example

Not sure if anybody will see this beforehand but-

Girlfriend and I are meeting my parents for dinner tonight to celebrate my birthday. She wore a dress to work today because it was unseasonably warm and is sweaty so I have a solid feeling she'll be in a maxi dress when we leave for dinner. If she is I'm going full send getting messy so ideas on what to get from the store are appreciated. So far-

- miracle whip (rub all over her)

- any sort of substance I can pour on her but that won't ruin the dress because she does wear it for other stuff.

- I'm also thinking the original plan of just getting a giant thing of soap and shampoo because then we can just get cleaned off as we go.

Got my girlfriend messy last night.

We had some beers and played Mario Kart and decided between races that we wanted to get freaky later.

I had her throw on the maxi dress. On any other occasion I would have waited till we had actually had sex to put it on, especially since the last couple times had been as a last ditch attempt to get me hard and didn't end well whatsoever, but we were like screw it and decided to throw it on and just take things slow and enjoy the process.

I think what worked this time, along with taking it slow, was getting the dress messy during it. When we started things I put some lube on my hands and rubbed it all over her, and then out of nowhere she poured lube on herself and spread it over the dress and that really got me going.

Neither of us were anticipating a messy session that night until we did it so I really just used the last 1/4 of a box of almond milk and some Greek yogurt, and then "gunged" her with shampoo once we decided to start cleaning up. The milk didn't do much, neither did the yogurt (apart from the milky stuff) so I kinda just rubbed it on her. Still got incredibly turned on though.

Unfortunately, she's definitely not into WAM at all, which means unfortunately no buying a bunch of cheap dresses just to get messy. Fortunately, she loves how much it turns me on, so she's more than happy to do it for me from time to time. I also don't think I want to put in the clean up time lol, so buying customs may be somewhat back on the table at some point.

I've followed from afar for a while but feel it's time to share my story.

I love my wife more than anything. We are life partners and bring out the best in each other. I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else. That being said, we do not share the same kinks. She enjoys my zentai/spandex kink, will wear suits at any time, and wears shiny leggings or bodysuits to tease me and get me going. However, she has no interest in getting messy and even struggles when she's gotten me messy from time to time. While pies, cake batter, and all things messy are a huge turn on for me, it is a complete turn-off for her, outside of knowing that I enjoy it.

I struggled with this for a while and failed to communicate my kinks properly. I tried to "turn off" my wam kink, thinking it would be easier to suppress it than face the rejection or doing it on my own in secret. This obviously did not work and it took me a while to realize how unhealthy this is. I became more open with my wife about my kink and my wants and needs. I read posts here and learned a lot from others' experiences. I was vulnerable with my wife about something that has always been a secret in my life up until I met her. It was hard, it was awkward, but it was necessary.

As we've discussed our sexuality more openly, we've come to the realization that neither of us can provide each other with all the we want sexually...and that's OK. We're now working through that process, seeking play partners and experiences that satisfy our needs but work within the parameters of our marriage. This is not easy either, and there will be some hiccups along the way, but we are supporting each other in ways we probably never imagined and it's making us stronger.

Anyways, enough of my rambling. My point is: Be open and transparent with your partner. Share your needs and desires. Be vulnerable and don't be afraid to fail. I'm not the first to say it and I won't be the last. I just wanted to share my experience and grow alongside all of you.

Being open with each other is great but it's completely unobtainable for many couples. Before my current relationship I couldn't understand people who weren't open. I genuinely thought that couples who couldn't do that probably shouldn't be together. There are some people who just won't let their partners be open with them. I was poly when I met my partner and they requested a don't ask don't tell policy. I went to great lengths to share information with them. I shared my google calendar and putting all that difficult information in the event description. I made myself start the uncomfortable conversations etc etc.
My partner simply didn't want to know. Wouldn't access the calendar, wouldn't listen, tuned out and regularly reacted to those difficult bits of information with shock and surprise when they finally processed them after I'd shared for the 5th time. I thought things would improve after we went monogamous but if anything it's worse. From my point of view it leaves me with the constant question would my partner be unhappy about this? Might they consider it cheating? For a naturally open person like me it's really difficult having such a closed partner however in terms of every factor I'd use to determine success it's also the most successful relationship I've ever been in. As I'm writing this I'm thinking to myself maybe I shouldn't post that, if my partner read it they'd disagree, they'd be hurt, they'd probably feel it was a betrayal. I chose to post the message knowing all that because I have needs and I have to take responsibility and get those needs met. It's similar when I share my WAM fetish. So each time I do something I reflect on it a few times afterwards and ask my self if my conscience is bothering me.

Everyone is different, but personally, to me this is a red flag. Especially now that you guys are monogamous. I'm assuming they were never very open with you during the poly phase. But a monogamous relationship thrives on trust and openness. It's a true partnership.

If you guys have something that works and you're satisfied, wonderful! More power to you.

Yep before I was in this relationship I'd have advised anyone experiencing something similar to do all they could to alter things. I certainly tried and my efforts made my partner unhappy. When we first became monogamous we had the what's ok to do with others conversations. My partner said that some things such as kissing were fine to do with others and other things that I considered fine were not. For me kissing is a huge deal. I should be clear that my partner has no interest in doing anything with anyone else When we met I was already in poly relationships they have never been poly.

My wife has just made me a messy session for my birthday. We don't talk about it much because it makes her uncomfortable but I laid out lots of plates in the bathroom and she filled them with various things. My dream is for her to make me messy but since that's a long way off/may never happen, she agrees to do ours for me and I close my eyes when I go into the bathroom so it's still like I have to rely on her and trust her. She knows how much it means to me so it's nice that she indulges me even though she won't do it herself.

My first partner was definitely into it. She told me she always felt funny when she'd see people get messy on tv when she was young and she'd gotten messy at events before we dated. It didn't awaken as fully sexual for either of us until we tried it together. Didn't take long into the relationship before we were sliming each others' faces, heads, and bodies with yogurt and pudding plus whipped cream while having sex. She'd even get messy on her own sometimes and flirt with me about it. Unfortunately we were both young and immature and things didn't work out. Looking back, it was really such a unicorn situation. She'd initiate getting messy even more than I did. She preferred receiving mess but enjoyed giving it too and just 'got it' on the same level as me. It's sad that it didn't work out and I haven't done much with it since then but I'm glad I had the experience.

Though my current partner may be receptive. She brought out some finger paint soaps while showering and smacked me in the face with a handful and let me do it back. We've had a couple impromptu minor WAM things with paint and she's made references to pieing me in the face and being pied. Not sure if it's sexual for her but I think I'm going to slowly try to introduce some small things and see it how it goes.

Think I've learned that women with goofy senses of humor are the best.