Like most you have you good days and bad. I'm currently on a waiting list now to see if I'm autistic as I've been living with my partner for 5 years I've seen patterns in what I do than and I can't break and she doesn't quite understand the big deal. So I've notice that simple things are now a lot harder to do. Things like just going shopping if they change it around I will have to leave and wait 5 mins before I can carry on shopping to her it's not a big deal but it spin me right out. Sorry to dribble on my I find this site a consent place where things are in order. As time has gone on I have found myself drifted away from the mates I've had and just work eat sleep repeat so here really is the only place I get to talk to a few people I know there's people out there with bigger issues so it nice in a way people are asking if everyone ok
shymessyguy said: Like most you have you good days and bad. I'm currently on a waiting list now to see if I'm autistic as I've been living with my partner for 5 years I've seen patterns in what I do than and I can't break and she doesn't quite understand the big deal. So I've notice that simple things are now a lot harder to do. Things like just going shopping if they change it around I will have to leave and wait 5 mins before I can carry on shopping to her it's not a big deal but it spin me right out. Sorry to dribble on my I find this site a consent place where things are in order. As time has gone on I have found myself drifted away from the mates I've had and just work eat sleep repeat so here really is the only place I get to talk to a few people I know there's people out there with bigger issues so it nice in a way people are asking if everyone ok
Glad your having some good days. Feel free to dribble on. Some people may have bigger issues but all issues are important.
I appreciate it. I'm actually not doing very well right now. More medical issues have me very, very depressed.
Medical issues are unfun under the best of circumstances!
My pinched nerve turned 4 weeks old last night, and I'd really like it to just go away... (it's mostly betterish, but I still spent most of today so far in bed, with the heating pad cycling on!)
If you need an ear to vent to, feel free to message me!
I am in a state that i don't know what to do anymore with my health. I am in a bad place in my head. Its not as bad as last year where i tought i wouldn't be here anymore but i am still not feeling wel but i hope it will get better with me.
sebas821 said: I am in a state that i don't know what to do anymore with my health. I am in a bad place in my head. Its not as bad as last year where i tought i wouldn't be here anymore but i am still not feeling wel but i hope it will get better with me.
So sorry to hear this. Hoping things do indeed get better as time goes on.
blue said: I self harmed a bit too hard the other day and unintentionally broke one of my fingers. Fucking can't stand myself.
That's not good blue.
You are seen and you have worth. Life is difficult when you don't like yourself. I hope you can find a way to see the good that is in you and find away to love yourself. I won't pretend it's not difficult but it is possible one step at a time.
I've been debating sticking a post in for a while, so as I've ended up at this thread, it might as well go in here.
I started using a white cane about a month ago, the first few days out and about coincided with my parents visiting, there were some interesting moments, such as a waiter asking my folks if I was blind - I resisted pointing out that my eyes aren't great, but my ears still work... I took mum to see the Foo Fighters in London and it was rather nice to have the helper folks practically pounce on us and fast track our entry! Than it was off to Merseyside, it's well known how nice the folks are up there, but even then I was astounded at the things folks did. At Lime St the escalators were out of use, and the diversion signage was a bit lacking if you didn't know where to go. Cue me looking a bit lost outside, not able to see the stairs I needed as they were behind a wall. Cue a nice couple not just telling me where to go, but taking me there. The Merseyrail staff were excellent lots of offers for help and my bus pass is even valid (but only after 9:30 - I'm a twirley) Most of the places I went to I'd been before, so that side of things wasn't too bad, although it took a bit of exploring to find all the crossings needed to get over the tricky roads to get to Townhouse. Splat was fun, not that I did much (I'm too old to play for a whole afternoon!), but you can see what I did in my gallery. The journey back south was fine, well until Euston where it seems they decided to give us an escape room challenge... Silly qr codes on your phone that you need to scan on a tiny screen by the gates... (with the cane in one hand, luggage in the other, take the phone out with hand three and unlock it with hand four...) When the chap who's job is to help with this process did come over, rather than look at the ticket and open the gate, he proceeded to spend time trying to scan the thing... (we used to have these things called tickets and they worked the gates nice and easily...)
That really knocked my growing confidence back. As has doing something as simple as going for a walk here... For the last few years, most of my walking has been in the early hours with a headtorch, but I am trying to get out more in daylight. The trouble is finding routes that give a decent walk (I'm not going to do umpteen laps of the little park down the road) without needing to cross busy roads at uncontrolled points. So I think I'm now the "local legend" on every strava segment on the limited route I have! But it's already a bit boring... At least at night I can vary the route.
Then someone managed to get into my phone account and order themselves a new phone and cancel mine... And they almost got into my bank account... So that was fun (still is, things seem to take much longer to resolve these days...)
I've not been in a great headspace since Splat, and it's really frustrating feeling crap and not having a clue why...
All that has knocked my confidence, I'm trying to book myself a few days away in August, but even that is causing stress as it seems the bank thinks Premier Inn is suspicious... (I know it's a bit pricey and yes, i really do want to spend two nights in Middlesbrough in August) If I can get that sorted, I'll have a quick break away, but in places I know, where I can get around a very rural area quite easily.
It's been a wild 12 months for me, both bad and good. Around this time last year a member of my family found themselves in a very sudden and unexpected life-threatening health crisis. My family member is ok now, but it took about 6 months of stress and worry before it was clear that things would be ok on that front.
Just when that was under control towards the end of last year, I found myself neck-deep in a very high-stress project at my job that I frankly wanted nothing to do with and has taken up most of my time and energy in 2024. That project is finally done and in the past but at some point in early spring I basically told myself the amount of stress this is causing me is ridiculous, so to give myself some light at the end of the tunnel I somewhat impulsively planned and booked a vacation to my dream destination of Japan as a way of rewarding myself.
I recently got back from that trip and it was the absolute perfect solution to my woes. It was everything I ever thought it would be and I can't wait to go back and explore more!
iain-ecgunge said: I've been debating sticking a post in for a while, so as I've ended up at this thread, it might as well go in here.
I started using a white cane about a month ago, the first few days out and about coincided with my parents visiting, there were some interesting moments, such as a waiter asking my folks if I was blind - I resisted pointing out that my eyes aren't great, but my ears still work... I took mum to see the Foo Fighters in London and it was rather nice to have the helper folks practically pounce on us and fast track our entry! Than it was off to Merseyside, it's well known how nice the folks are up there, but even then I was astounded at the things folks did. At Lime St the escalators were out of use, and the diversion signage was a bit lacking if you didn't know where to go. Cue me looking a bit lost outside, not able to see the stairs I needed as they were behind a wall. Cue a nice couple not just telling me where to go, but taking me there. The Merseyrail staff were excellent lots of offers for help and my bus pass is even valid (but only after 9:30 - I'm a twirley) Most of the places I went to I'd been before, so that side of things wasn't too bad, although it took a bit of exploring to find all the crossings needed to get over the tricky roads to get to Townhouse. Splat was fun, not that I did much (I'm too old to play for a whole afternoon!), but you can see what I did in my gallery. The journey back south was fine, well until Euston where it seems they decided to give us an escape room challenge... Silly qr codes on your phone that you need to scan on a tiny screen by the gates... (with the cane in one hand, luggage in the other, take the phone out with hand three and unlock it with hand four...) When the chap who's job is to help with this process did come over, rather than look at the ticket and open the gate, he proceeded to spend time trying to scan the thing... (we used to have these things called tickets and they worked the gates nice and easily...)
That really knocked my growing confidence back. As has doing something as simple as going for a walk here... For the last few years, most of my walking has been in the early hours with a headtorch, but I am trying to get out more in daylight. The trouble is finding routes that give a decent walk (I'm not going to do umpteen laps of the little park down the road) without needing to cross busy roads at uncontrolled points. So I think I'm now the "local legend" on every strava segment on the limited route I have! But it's already a bit boring... At least at night I can vary the route.
Then someone managed to get into my phone account and order themselves a new phone and cancel mine... And they almost got into my bank account... So that was fun (still is, things seem to take much longer to resolve these days...)
I've not been in a great headspace since Splat, and it's really frustrating feeling crap and not having a clue why...
All that has knocked my confidence, I'm trying to book myself a few days away in August, but even that is causing stress as it seems the bank thinks Premier Inn is suspicious... (I know it's a bit pricey and yes, i really do want to spend two nights in Middlesbrough in August) If I can get that sorted, I'll have a quick break away, but in places I know, where I can get around a very rural area quite easily.
I hope the stress of planning dies down a bit and your confidence gets a boost soon. Thank for sharing.
MtnWAM said: It's been a wild 12 months for me, both bad and good. Around this time last year a member of my family found themselves in a very sudden and unexpected life-threatening health crisis. My family member is ok now, but it took about 6 months of stress and worry before it was clear that things would be ok on that front.
Just when that was under control towards the end of last year, I found myself neck-deep in a very high-stress project at my job that I frankly wanted nothing to do with and has taken up most of my time and energy in 2024. That project is finally done and in the past but at some point in early spring I basically told myself the amount of stress this is causing me is ridiculous, so to give myself some light at the end of the tunnel I somewhat impulsively planned and booked a vacation to my dream destination of Japan as a way of rewarding myself.
I recently got back from that trip and it was the absolute perfect solution to my woes. It was everything I ever thought it would be and I can't wait to go back and explore more!
That sounds like an awesome antidote to a stressful situation!
iain-ecgunge said: ...and the bank sent me a secure code that I cannot see... "just give us a call" and the robot will ask for characters from the code I cannot see...
iain-ecgunge said: ...and the bank sent me a secure code that I cannot see... "just give us a call" and the robot will ask for characters from the code I cannot see...
Well that just sucks!
It gets worse! Went to the local branch yesterday to get them to put the code into my phone so I can see it, discovered the branch is closing... So all I had to do now was reset the password which iinvolves the code. No, of course not, try to do that and there's another number I have to phone...
And then folks wonder why we end up having mental health issues... I keep having to step away from it for my sanity...
Finally got sorted ith the bank, which involved calling a number that isn't the one they said to call... Then "oh, that's not your usernemt any more..." Wonder where my crystal ball was sent, quite how you're supposed to know the things they don't tell you...
Still not in a great headspace, add in an org who you asked to email you, who phoned when you were asleep, I'm going into the office tomoorrow and have a hospiyal check up so stress and a long tiring day aren't really something to look forward too.
Have managed to get a couple of trips booked in at least.
I'm quite easygoing but have to work very hard to keep sane and civil on customer phone lines, sometimes, especially bank ones.
My normally good disposition is being challenged by being over-worked at the moment. I have landed in a situation with people needing too much stuff from me at once, and if I don't keep on top, then people start doing the wrong thing at the wrong time or in the wrong place with real-world consequences. While I'm trying to unravel it, I feel completely trapped and gasping for air. Every time something is accomplished, the next thing is already late or heading off the rails in some other way. The sheer intensity of juggling it all impacts on efficiency, hitting admin, invoicing and getting paid for it all in a timely way. It's also hitting my energy for doing sensible things like booking time away. The last break only happened because a friend organised something and invited me along. Trying to organise stuff and make bookings etc. is too much like work so it's not happening. I can already see my summer gone now and I'm slightly panicking at the thought of being in the same position in 6 months time.
A saving grace is I don't have the stamina to work around the clock so when I do stop, I'm not thinking I should even try, so am fairly good at switching off. Mercifully, sleep isn't a problem so it can't all be wrong.
iain-ecgunge said: Finally got sorted ith the bank, which involved calling a number that isn't the one they said to call... Then "oh, that's not your usernemt any more..." Wonder where my crystal ball was sent, quite how you're supposed to know the things they don't tell you...
Still not in a great headspace, add in an org who you asked to email you, who phoned when you were asleep, I'm going into the office tomoorrow and have a hospiyal check up so stress and a long tiring day aren't really something to look forward too.
Have managed to get a couple of trips booked in at least.
Hope things get a little less confounding for you. Glad you could book some time away.
WetNikki said: I'm quite easygoing but have to work very hard to keep sane and civil on customer phone lines, sometimes, especially bank ones.
My normally good disposition is being challenged by being over-worked at the moment. I have landed in a situation with people needing too much stuff from me at once, and if I don't keep on top, then people start doing the wrong thing at the wrong time or in the wrong place with real-world consequences. While I'm trying to unravel it, I feel completely trapped and gasping for air. Every time something is accomplished, the next thing is already late or heading off the rails in some other way. The sheer intensity of juggling it all impacts on efficiency, hitting admin, invoicing and getting paid for it all in a timely way. It's also hitting my energy for doing sensible things like booking time away. The last break only happened because a friend organised something and invited me along. Trying to organise stuff and make bookings etc. is too much like work so it's not happening. I can already see my summer gone now and I'm slightly panicking at the thought of being in the same position in 6 months time.
A saving grace is I don't have the stamina to work around the clock so when I do stop, I'm not thinking I should even try, so am fairly good at switching off. Mercifully, sleep isn't a problem so it can't all be wrong.
That sounds horrendous! Hope things get a little less full on for you. Take care.
Well the trip away went alright, no excape room challenges this time. Did have the delight of a supermarket visit, with the intention of getting something for breakfast and milk and just got the milk and wandered a bit... Typically, the weather was great both days i travelled, and rained while I was in deepest Yorkshire... Still, it was a bit of escapism, just with a brolly...
Off to the F1 exhibition in London on Friday, already grumpy as the app you have to use has tiny text...
You'd think that app designers would make things more accessible these days. No doubt you've already tried this but I take screenshots and zoom in if stuff's too small.
WAM_in_Bed said: You'd think that app designers would make things more accessible these days. No doubt you've already tried this but I take screenshots and zoom in if stuff's too small.
Take a screenshot? My old phone could do that by itself in a pocket... I'm not the most tech savvy of folks, but designing apps to cope with basic settings such as increasing the text really shouldn't be that tricky... For my trains last week, the app gave notificaions, but they couldn't be expanded, so you get things like "your train is ready to board now on pl" "make your way to the train now, you are in coach..."
WAM_in_Bed said: You'd think that app designers would make things more accessible these days. No doubt you've already tried this but I take screenshots and zoom in if stuff's too small.
Take a screenshot? My old phone could do that by itself in a pocket... I'm not the most tech savvy of folks, but designing apps to cope with basic settings such as increasing the text really shouldn't be that tricky... For my trains last week, the app gave notificaions, but they couldn't be expanded, so you get things like "your train is ready to board now on pl" "make your way to the train now, you are in coach..."
Accessibility is something we need to work on a lot in our society. I hope it gets better for you.
Well I'm not exactly raving about the F1 thing. Some areas were really daark to the extent I couldn't see the people around me, they give you headphones for the audio so they cut out the noise from people around you too. Then you need to zap thingies in the dark by a bright screen to activate the audio for each screen. It was nice enough, maybe worth the general entry fee, but not the VIP rate - it's a rather costly tote bag!
If you follow me on inst (and why would you given what I post...) you'll see what I did on Saturday, 4th vsit to Worcester (two by steam, two to play with someone who I think we can't mention on here these days) Didn't really do much there, but with Clan line on the front, it was all about the journey.