Ladies, gentlemen, and those of no particular gender alignment, welcome to the Supreme Court of Mess! In honor of the original Courts of Mess, a new order of just-mess, I'm sorry I mean JUSTICE is in. Here are the rules: 1. Any users may be brought before the Courts. 2. Each case shall have 1 Judge, at least 1 Accused Party, and a Jury made up of all who comment on the case. 3. The Judge may be any user that is not an accused party who will hear both sides and decide what is allowed within the trial in question as well as decide whether the accused party(ies) is(are) Guilty. 4. The Accused Parties are allowed Opening and Closing Statements, (2) Pleas of Defense & (1) Plea of Mercy. Exceeding these limits may incur a punishment of the judge's choosing 5. Pleas of Defense are defenses to arguments by the Jury Members. 6. Pleas of Mercy are arguments by one Accused Party against others in hopes of winning the Innocent verdict. 7. This court is obviously NOT to settle actual anger or disputes and that should be done through the proper channels as outlined in the TOS of UMD. 8. Examples of "crimes" one may be accused of include but are not limited to: giving out too much mess to others, losing of bets, forfeits of games, etc. 9. When more than one party is accused of the same crime they may be put on trial together. In such cases the judge should reach a decision on all those accused collectively. 10. Once a user has stood trial, regardless of the verdict reached, they cannot be brought to trial again until another case has been heard .
The best way to explain further would be an example. So, the Supreme Court of Mess shall hear its first case. First on the docket is the case of the people v Jane Bond and MessyBratz. The Honorable Judge J Bond will preside over the case. The charge on the Accused is: Excessive mess giving in the forums. Essentially, both the Accused have been charged with getting entirely too much pleasure out of seeing their fellow users pied, slimed, slopped, and soaked! The substances allowed in the final verdict are: Anything Sweet, Foam, Pies, Water and Slime. All Jury members (commenters) may suggest how a substance should be applied as part of the final sentence and may suggest up to 2 substances to be served as punishment throughout the trial. Additional comments/responses with facts surrounding the case are permitted, however they will not count towards the punishment. Once the trial time has run out, in this case 10 calendar days (Ending December 5, 2023), the Judge will review the Pleas as well as the Jury comments and make a final verdict where the sentence shall be handed down. Once the case is closed, the next Judge may present the next Accused Parties. Feel free to PM any questions to J Bond. The time begins now. Each Accused Party is allowed to make (1) Opening Statement, (2) Pleas of Defense, (1) Plea of Mercy, and (1) Closing Statement and must identify when they are using these options. Good luck to our jury and may the messy gods have mercy on the dignity of the guilty!
I open proceedings by pleading not guilty to all charges. It is evident that my mess-giving is merely retaliatory in nature and that I do not intend to dish out as much as I do and it is in fact up to the wheels to determine how much mess I am to give. I always try to share the mess evenly among players wherever possible and not target individual players too frequently. This farcical accusation is quite frankly preposterous and I am appalled that our "honourable" judge thought this was necessary or appropriate. Consider this to be my opening statement
For my opening statement, I plead not guilty due to reasons of messy insanity! Everyone knows I am naturally pie crazy! After all, just look at the sheer number of pies from my Pie Per Reply shoot! So, surely, any mess I heap upon my fellow UMD users is collateral damage they take upon themselves by being in the vicinity of a known stark-raving Pie-copath! Though I respect the courts for acknowledging my talents! See? Only a crazy person would say such things!
Ladies, gentlemen and non binary finery of the court, I cannot speak for the rest of the jury but I did witness JBond stuck in the pillory as MessyBratz kept adding to the punishment like clockwork. He even stated this was due to not enough punishments being dealt, purposely adding more like a villain every 3 hours. I think he should get a little taste of his own medicine and be made to gunge himself with a bucket of cold, wintery gunge
FatPieFan said: Ladies, gentlemen and non binary finery of the court, I cannot speak for the rest of the jury but I did witness JBond stuck in the pillory as MessyBratz kept adding to the punishment like clockwork. He even stated this was due to not enough punishments being dealt, purposely adding more like a villain every 3 hours. I think he should get a little taste of his own medicine and be made to gunge himself with a bucket of cold, wintery gunge
In order to plead my defence, I would like to reiterate similar comments to my opening statement in that my actions have only been in self defence and therefore if piling on in such a manner is considered to be unfair then it should not be permitted against me by none other than our "honourable" judge. However if this courtroom is unable to accept that fact pattern then I suppose Jane and I will be left with no option but to begrudgingly take our fate of a bucket of slime as suggested by the jury.
Given recent offline chaos that has kept Jane and I a bit busy, I have decided that Jane and MessyBratz shall be given mercy in the name of the holiday season. Consider not adding more mess to your existing forfeit totals a seasonal blessing of this court and may we all be as merciful to each other. Fa la la la la and all that