thank you all so much for all your positive vibes, prayers and thoughts. they worked! my grandfather will never be the same and on top of the bypasses they had to do a valve replacement. it happened while he was on vacation in florida so i was trying to book a ticket down there and then my son became extremely ill. a 6 year old bedridden for 5 days. in those days after taking him to the doc and him almost being carted out by an ambulance bc his oxygen level was so low, they concluded his asthma had come back, he had it as a small child and we thought we beat it 3 years ago after GRUELING breathing treatments everyday, every 3 to 4 hours for almost a year. now, he is back on them. i am raising another child as well who has some serious issues with her PIECE OF SHIT MOTHER who left her....and has abused her in some way.....and now my boy has to sleep with me at night so i can wake up, roll over and give him treatments every 3 hours. i am tired. i am weak. i feel so sorry for my baby boy who cant run without coughing. who cant belly laugh without breaking into a horrible coughing fit. i feel helpless. my only way i know how to deal with all this, this being their first year of kindergarten, new school, new town, new home that some idiot came and took my money and FUCKED UP THE PAINT EVERYWHERE. ugh (had to add that in, lol) the only way i know how to deal with this stress, is to get messy, get wet and relieve some stress while they are at school. i worry so much while he is there so i wanna just do it everyday as much as i can!! it is such a relief to slam a pie into ariels face or sink deep into some crazy substance! so, MESS ON MY FRIENDS! we are all given shit that we think we cant handle but we CAN! and i fucking WILL GOSH DAMNIT! i have been handed enough bullshit, i wont let this bring me down! Bring on the funk! woooot! and please do keep my buddy in your prayers and now, the little girl i raise as well. its a change for our entire little thing we have going, our routine so, pray for all of us to have peace, and run like a well oiled machine so that momma can GET HER SWERRRRVE ON WHEN THEY GONE! haha. i know that sounds bad but we wam mommas wanna get down and dirty when we are feeling out of control! i love you all with all my heart. everything you say, do, hearts, comments, customs, they mean the world to me. i mean that. thank you.
Asthma really sucks. I have it really severely and spent just as much of my childhood in the hospital as out (and had a few close calls that they didn't know if I'd make it), but it gets better. Not necessarily goes away, but once he's old enough to really understand it and help treat himself, it won't seem as bad.
You've both got some battles ahead because of people that don't understand it either. I get so sick of people telling me "well, at least it can't kill you" - because being able to breath isn't really important to staying alive or anything. Unless you get lucky, the gym teachers are really going to be bad with it. My parents both knew school board numbers by heart thanks to a gym teacher that kept trying to make me do mile runs and even called and told my doctor he doesn't know what he's talking about (that doctor was world renowned and traveled to give lectures).
But it will get better. Based on myself and everybody that I know with it - you are going through the worst part of it now.
i am very lucky, and very broke, to have him in a private school where i have been attending church and i know the ladies very well, i am making new friends there and everyone has been keeping a close eye on him and just being amazing people. every organized place has their shit but, meh....i believe what i believe, church or not. i dont go with the flow but it is a nice enviornment for my son to make friends so, i go. i believe in my higher God so, its a nice place to hear the word and make what i make of it. i steer clear of some people but that is just how you have to be. Solomon has been pretty down about it bc he knows what is happening. he is aware. and i had to tell him today he could tell his friends that he is going to the office to recharge bc he is a robot when he has to use his nebulizer. lol! that is all i could think of! i just really appreciate the messages and all that. i know, that it can be a turn off i guess to know i am a mom but, this is my real life. this is the life i juggle with to get messy! this is the life that brought me TO finding messy! and i love it!!!! so, its all a part of it. even these parts. and hey. just because i popped a kid out of me doesn't mean i dont like to get naughty im a mom. my vagina isn't dead. lol!! thank you all so much for everything. thanks m. for the words of wisdom and encouragement. i know now is hard. im feeling it! the 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night for the past 5 days...im feeling it. lol. but, i know it will get better. i know there will be scares and i am prepared to COMPLETELY FREAK THE FUCK OUT WHEN THEY HAPPEN. hahahaa! xoxoxox
Quintuple, actually, but who the hell can remember all that!
But yeah, it's been a little slow-going because of that. Each day is kind of a roller coaster ride. The surgery didn't go exactly as planned, took 2 hours longer than normal because one of the grafts failed mid-surgery, he's awake though and took a few steps. He's in a lot of pain, and this all happened while they were taking their annual vacation. His regular doctor CLEARED HIM TO GO. This doctor also told him that his diabetes was under control, but, whoops, guess not. It's easier for me to be pissed than to be sad, but, of course, I'm very sad.
His circulatory system is completely diseased now because of the out-of-control diabetes, sclerosis, etc. so, at this point, I'm just praying that his grafts don't fail.
Not a lot of people are as close to their grandparents as we are to ours. They're like a second set of parents to us. It's really hard to see them getting older, especially because they don't LOOK that old and they've always been funny, spritely, etc. We lost our paternal grandmother 3 years ago in May and we just don't want to deal with a pain like that again. Thank you all for the words of support. It really does help.