So obviously, I have a WAM fetish (Otherwise I wouldn't be here) and I often Sit on cakes and do everything that a WAMMER does.

My question is are you all open about Wamming/having an interest in WAM. Thing is the other day one of my parents came home and found a squashed cake in the bin, which I thought I hid quite well, but apparently not. I just said I accidentally stood on it.

So is everyone in the community open about this and if so how did you tell people about this fetish?

I'd say the vast majority of people on here are NOT open about their WAM fetish.

Several of the producers are, telling everyone they know, and letting the chips fall where they may. But if you look at just how many people hide their identities (including me), or if they post pics, they hide their faces (at least until they are unrecognizably covered with mess), it gives you a pretty good idea. A lot of the models (and posters), if not most, have "day jobs", and being on here could cause a problem if they were "out".

It's great if one is secure enough in their sexual identity to tell at least their significant other, or their best friends. But even there, most of us aren't.

And in your case, parents are not exactly the people you have in depth discussions with about your sexual preferences!

It's terrifying to even tell a girlfriend or wife. There have been numerous threads posted about exactly that. To answer the last part of your question, you might check some past threads for some suggestions.

Good luck!

Norman

Thanks both of you. I'm very closed about it and it's funny that I have so many rules and procedures when do WAM just to keep it secret. The only person who does know is my girlfriend, who thankfully loves WAM and that was another awkward situation as she found some purchased UMD videos on my PC and she approached me. I can still remember her exact words "It's ok if you are into WAM, I love it to."

I've always been wide open about it. My friends know, business colleagues I work with closely know, when she was still alive my mum knew, and though these days I'm a confirmed bachelor when I had girlfriends in the past they all knew (and mostly at least tried it) too. I appreciate it's different if you live in the US Bible Belt or anywhere else where kinky sexuality is frowned on, or if you work in a sector where "being morally pure" is a requirement of the job. And I don't have any kids, child-free by choice, which makes things a lot easier, no "but think of the children!!!" type arguments, and I mainly hang out with progressive and open-minded people. But it's never really been any kind of issue anywhere I've lived or worked.


Asexuals have kinks too!

So how did you tell your parents, friends etc.

This isn't off-topic.

I remember explaining it to mum as a teenager, about 14, after she'd unknowingly recorded a railway documentary over part of my then tiny wam collection of TV-clips, not realising that the random collection of bits of gameshows was actually wanted and not just junk on the end of a tape. I appreciated the documentary but had seen it before. I realised I'd have to explain why I didn't want any more of the clips overwritten, and the truth was the best way to do it.

With friends it would just come up in conversation, a mate and I would be riding the trains and I'd see an attractive woman in hiking gear or a severe uniform, and much as my friends would point out who they fancied for sexual purposes, I'd point out who I wanted to see rolling in mud or having custard poured all over her clothes.

People I worked with was after I became a producer, because I was running websites off machines hosted in our datacentre, and sometimes having to be away at specific times or dates to do photoshoots. Again, being honest and straightforward was both the simplest way, and the best way to avoid the risk of ever being blackmailed - "I'll tell the boss what you're up to" carries rather less weight when the boss already knows all about it and is cool with it.


No, asexuals can have very strong kinks and fetishes, the difference is they don't want to actually have any kind of sex with anyone else. It's the "with anyone else" bit that is the defining characteristic.

That's seems totally reasonable and healthy Josh. Who the hell talks about their sex life and fetishes with parents?! It's the same as being caught masturbating when you're a teen... Deny deny deny! Lol!! I think as long as you aren't ashamed of yourself or feeling guilty or anything unhealthy like that it's all gravy babay! It's definitely awesome you aren't hiding it from your partner. Keep up the great cake sitting

When I worked at a university I was concerned about students finding out, then one did and he thought it was hilarious/great. I guess i'm just lucky to have good people in my life who I can trust and don't judge me or try to hurt me because of what I do for work since I am open about it. I know other people who haven't been so lucky. I've meet producers and models who have been blackmailed/outed by people they thought they could trust and lost their day jobs over it. With friends and significant others I think you do have to make sure they are people you really can trust otherwise being open about your kinks could come back to hurt you. Family is another issue, I think it's just awkward to talk about things relating to sexual preferences with family. Hell half of my family thinks I'm straight (I assume since they never met any of my girlfriends). My family is Irish Catholic so even if they found my videos online it would just be one more thing to be in denial about that no one would ever bring up, lol.

I've never kept it from a significant other. Never had one bothered by it, or who didn't at some point agree to partake when they were ready. I don't live near my extended family, so that isn't an issue. My friends don't really need to know, although once a girlfriend of mine told her very pretty friend and they had a pie fight for me to photograph.

I'm completely open about my participation in the interest... but then.. as a producer and artist I kinda have to be.. and as far as the parents thing goes... my dad is a DJ (took me to my first rave in my teen years) and we have almost more of a close friends relationship than parent/son, and he thinks its amusing that I take pictures of naked ladies making a mess with cake as one of my ways of making a living... I even brag about it on my license plate!

The only person who knows about my sploshing, who isn't involved in it, is Mr JnC's best friend! Although Mr JnC doesn't discuss it openly with his friends they do discuss porn and he knew none of them would bat an eyelid if they hit on the truth. He got frustrated telling his best friend about the new power tools he bought (to build the gunge tank with) but not being able to brag about what he'd built, so he told him As predicted, he was not only fine about it, but not really surprised.

He was also very open with me about it, which is exactly what brought me here! He wasn't embarrassed or shy about it, just said that was what he was into and I should give it a go to see for myself. He presented it to me like it was completely normal, so I thought 'what the hell'! And here I am

As for me, I envy some of my good friends here who are completely open about their lifestyle (Maria & Lady Emily) and I have thought about telling a few of my vanilla friends. I'm certain a couple of them would be totally cool about it, but one of them at least, who is very vanilla, may not understand and I don't want to take that risk, as her friendship means a lot to me. Also I don't think my parents are open-minded enough to accept it! I guess for me it's not just about doing it (which I don't think you really need to tell anyone about - do you know what all your friends/family get up to in the bedroom?) but filming it and putting it out there for all to see takes it to another level. That's why I don't do much really raunchy/hardcore stuff, in case people in my life do find out one day.

The more I do and the more I feel like it's a normal thing, the less I care about people finding out, hence you see more and more of me on here! Plus my full-time job now would only be at risk if they deemed it to be moon-lighting (which I guess it is!). I don't think they care so much about my morals!

The way I see it, my world wouldn't collapse if people knew, and for the most part, if you present it as something fun and harmless people aren't likely to think you're a bad person for doing it. Obviously I can only speak for myself and my situation, I appreciate it's much harder for others out there. But if you're in a relationship or starting a new one and wondering whether to 'fess up about it, I say go for it! What's the worst that could happen? Make it all about the fun and they'll have little reason not to at least explore it a bit. If they want to make you happy they'd more likely be sad you didn't tell them than so disgusted that they'd leave you. Relationships are about honesty and being yourself with someone and accepting your partner for who they are.
As for family and friends, I don't think you should feel guilty for not telling them all your 'dirty' secrets

Whoa, it's an essay! #sorrynotsorry xx

I've only ever told two of my friends, basically because I was really excited about a splosh session I was going to and really wanted to talk about it. They were both cool with it, and didn't seem to think it was weird at all, in a bad way at least.

I only told them because I completely trust them though. I wouldn't tell most of my friends, although part of me just wishes everyone knew about it. It would certainly make things simpler!

Thank you all so much for your replies. I have read all of them and it is really interesting what you guys have written.

I really hope that in the years to come, Sploshing becomes a little more recognised and therefore less strange. Maybe one day we will be able to opening say what we have an interest in. Until then, least here is a cool community.

Its very hard to do to be open about it I wont my family I did a little and they thought I was crazy but why would that stop me, I would tell my girl friend to be playful I have all kinds of ideas to have fun with and enjoy I would want to have a woman does want to wam with me

I'm sort of open about it. I have told a few select people that I have experimented with wam for fun. I have even showed some of them a small selection of my wam photos.
But I'm still quite wary of being too open about it. Besides, even though I like doing it, I'm not entirely sure I would want to do it with my bf because it would feel weird.
There's only a small number of people just now who I trust to meet up for discreet pie sessions. I do hope to expand that number being on here

My family would never know, though looking back to growing up, I don't know how i got away with hiding the wet clothes in the back of my closet that often became musty and mildewed before I had a chance to properly dry them. The topic of being "out" with my family about my bisexuality came up in discussion in an LBTGQ group I belong to. I don't have conversations with my family about the women I find attractive or things I like to do with them sexually, why would I have that conversation with them about men? Same with WAM; I don't tell them how much I enjoy reverse cowgirl, why would I tell them reverse cowgirl would be even better while semi-clothed and in a pool full of pudding?

You know, you say about how you never knew how you got away with the wet clothes, I remember this one time that I was planning to rip up some clothes and sit on a cake (My two favourite things) and I'd partially ripped up my boxer shorts when my mum came home unexpectedly. I had to very quickly put on some trousers, pick up the cake, put it on my chair next to my desk and sit on it to hide it and my ripped up boxers. I ended up having to sit on the cake for about an hour (and it was a pure chocolate one) until she left again and to this day I still don't know how the hell I got away with it. Of course betime I was able to get up from the cake my trousers were ruined beyond cleaning as it had gone right through them and actually made a mess on my butt, then whilst I was trying to clear up, my girlfriend walked in, but that was fine because I have said she likes sitting on cakes to and she actually wanted to have a go sitting on the remains of the cake to, so there was not much of the cake left at all when it came to clearing up.

But anyway how I got away with it is just incredible and I count myself very lucky on that! I've got a lot of good messy stories!

I think that one of the worries I have about being public about my sexual desires is that it is fantastically mis-labeled. In an age where "watersports" means urine and "mess" is a euphemism for scat, the label "wet and messy" strikes me as being a branding disaster. If the community called itself something like "Water, mud, and food" (or whatever -- be creative) then I'd feel much less nauseated about the prospects of conversation.

I think Nein is pretty dead on.

Anyone that is part of this community (I know, I'm not exactly a contributing member but I've followed from a far for over a decade) knows that there is a fine line between water sports and WAM and while some are into both, I'd guess that most here would treat them separately. There's the risk that telling someone of your fetish will have you wrongly grouped in with another group that maybe you don't want to be apart of. And once you tell someone about it, you can't unsay it.

My biggest reservation with being "out" as a wammer is the fear of rejection (I'd suspect others have a similar fear)...same reason I haven't done anything more than hint with my spouse.

Adopt the more British term, Sploshing, instead

Yeah ... that doesn't sound like pissing at all!

The reason we got stuck with the WAM acronym instead of sploshing being the global term goes back to 1995 and the creation of the alt.sex.fetish.wet-and-messy newsgroup. There was significant debate at the time on creating a newsgroup for "us lot", and alt.sex.sploshing had been proposed, but there was an unwritten rule that newsgroups should never be named after commercial entities and no-one stopped to recognise the difference between "Splosh!" the brand name and "sploshing" the descriptive term, plus at the time it was thought "sploshing" only referred to food and water, not mud and quicksand, and the people who really wanted to create a group were quicksand fans. Of course at that time Rob Blaine had already founded "Messy Fun" so that name was also out. Plus I think there was some resistance from people who weren't sure a newsgroup was justified (this is back when most of us all thought we were the "one and only" after all and many outsiders thought it would be just too niche an interest). Somewhere during all of this about two dozen people all stormed alt.config within days of each other saying variations on "we need alt.sex.fetish.wet-and-messy now", and the mgroup (group creation command) went through unopposed a few days later. At which point the "WAM" acronym was fairly indelibly inscribed upon the Internet, and the rest is history.


The way I do it is not to use any of the names for the fetish, and say rather more directly "I like to watch fully clothed women pouring custard all over each other, or hosing each other down", or "I like to see fully clothed women playing in mud". If the company and conversation is specifically kinky I might be more direct and state "get turned on by" or "have a fetish for" instead of just "like to watch". Doing that makes absolutely clear what I'm interested in (and in my case that it's only if fully clothed), rather than having to hope that someone else knows the acronyms properly.

No, it's a sexual orientation, like gay/straight/bi/pan.

You know, there's a company who posts on here very regularly, WSM. That stands for Wetlook, Slapstick, and Mudlarking. (Very similar to what you suggested.)

I always felt that described it very well, without using ambiguous terms.

However, now I've seen DM1's post about the "unwritten rule" that groups not be named after commercial enterprises. That *does* make sense, but like he also says, there's a difference between "Splosh", the product/company and "Sploshing", the activity!

Norman

I've tended to keep quite private about my WAM fetish... initially because I attended Public School so was brought up with the traditional British "stiff upper lip" attitude and therefore discussing anything more sexual than "which actress / pop singer do you most fancy" was taboo...
Then as I got older and more into WAM, I also discovered that certain jobs weren't keen on having any way you could be blackmailed, so that meant I continued to keep things very private... however I did always tell my girlfriends with differing results (the first was very happy to try it out, the second was even more prudish than me and having studied psychology was of the opinion that any kind of interest in BDSM or sexual fetish made you a freak... so didn't exactly lead to a long discussion on the matter...).
I lurked on the UMD for many years before a few experiences made me realise that life's too short to worry too much so I decided to start participating, and now I post at least every month or so, I've had some custom videos made which have been released for sale and seem to have been well received, and I even attended the last London Splunch - which was brilliant (thanks CK & JnC).
I have now even got to the point of having discussions about the matter with a few close friends (mostly after large volumes of alcohol... in vino veritas)... but I don't advertise my interest to "all & sundry"... in fact I've been so good at camouflaging my interests that a number of my wider circle of friends & colleagues have me down as a typical old school "prude" (#SoNottheCase!)... however I still wouldn't tell my parents as they would freak out & probably disinherit me!