Plot Summary: Coerced into appearing on a televised messy game show and then losing in grand style in front of his boss, his coworkers, his secret crush and pretty much the entire under-30 viewing demographic across the nation, Todd had never felt more humiliated. Then he was offered the chance to pick a teammate...

Setting: The early 1980s

Author's Note: Warning for humiliation. Also, this is light on the adult content. This was originally posted to the now-defunct WAM Story Archive in 2016 and was the first WAM story I wrote.

*****

Gunge-A-Palooza. The wildly popular kid's game show with a silly name and an even sillier theme had set off on its first-ever road tour, and its inaugural stop happened to be at a small-town children's party venue in the middle of virtually nowhere.

"I get it, this is the biggest thing to happen to Party Land in a long time, and maybe the entire town," remarked Todd, the restaurant's young janitor, standing among his fellow workers and admiring the elaborate stage set-up the technicians were expertly assembling in the center of the dining area. The establishment had closed early for the special taping, but the employees had been required to stay on duty to assist with the show.

"Heh, and I'm also beyond grateful they're providing their own clean-up after this deal is over so it doesn't fall on my shoulders," he joked, his hands on his hips as he eyed the large buckets being hoisted to the rigging above a pair of brightly-colored bench seats. "But what I don't get is the whole appeal of this thing. I saw it once on TV and that was a half-hour of my life I'll never get back. They pour slime on people, and really, how many times can that be funny? And yet the show's been running for, what, at least three seasons?" He shook his head in disbelief.

"To be honest, I'm a little envious it's just for the kids and not us twentysomethings," came a familiar voice from behind him, and Todd's face reddened beneath his fringe of messy brown hair the moment he felt a hand on his shoulder. His coworker Cindy was as spunky and outgoing as he was shy and withdrawn, and since his date of hire several years before he had harbored a strong crush on her that he still had no clue how to deal with.

"C'mon, admit it, it would be a blast to be a contestant," the waitress said with a grin, squeezing Todd's shoulder reassuringly in her usual warm way. "Even if you didn't win one of the 'amazing' prizes like a skateboard or brand-new high-top tennis shoes, you'd still get to be on national TV, and even if you lost, the sliming sorta looks like fun--" Todd cut her off, regarding her with disbelief through the large lenses of his glasses.

"You wouldn't really want to do that, Cindy!" he exclaimed without thinking, eyeing the long dark locks framing her freckled face. "Imagine all that gunk in that beautiful hair of yours." Suddenly realizing what he'd confessed, he fought the urge to clamp a hand to his mouth, and stammered his way into correcting himself instead. "I mean, I wouldn't want that stuff in my hair and ruining my clothes, y'know?" It was too late; she was already smiling adoringly at him with her arms across her chest.

"Right, who can forget the ice cream sundae incident?" Cindy asked jokingly, and Todd looked away in embarrassment, taking sudden interest in the tiled floor. Several months before, Cindy had been rushing through the restaurant's swinging doors, balancing a tray of sundaes, when Todd had hustled through the same door in just as much of a hurry. In the aftermath of their collision, she had laughed good-naturedly, wiping ice cream from her blouse and her hair, and in the midst of helping her clean up the spilled treats, he'd suddenly fled without explanation.

"I'm still sorry for bolting on you like that," Todd admitted, stealing a glimpse her way and feeling relieved to see her dark eyes were sparkling with mirth at the memory of the incident. "It just got too awkward, and I felt so bad for running into you I just split." In reality, he had found the sight of his crush beyond appealing as she lay sprawled on the floor, spattered by the melting ice cream and giggling like nothing was wrong, and had ducked out before she could notice his reaction and think he was some kind of creep.

"'Split.' Is that some kind of ice cream joke?" Cindy teased lightly. "All is forgiven, by the way. Maybe it was my fault for finding the whole thing so funny, but sometimes you just have to laugh when things go wrong." She clutched Todd up in a hug, deepening his blush.

Behind them, their coworker rolled his eyes. Darren found himself infuriated by Todd for reasons he couldn't put into words, but now that the janitor had made the mistake of confessing to a few turn-offs aloud, a devious plan began to form in his mind.

*****

"We're almost ready to go, kiddies, live on location!" cried "Sharky," the show's enthusiastic host, who was soon drowned out in a flurry of youthful screams from the large crowd of children and teenagers from town who had flocked in to be part of the audience. "For something new, we're going to ask a few grown-up workers from Party Land to help us test out our stage set!"

"We volunteer!" Before he knew what was happening, Todd felt a shove at his back as Darren pushed him forward. The waiter and perennial employee-of-the-month was everything he wasn't: confident, well-liked and self-assured, but he also had a hidden mean streak and enjoyed manipulating others. Todd was already certain Darren had overheard his conversation with Cindy and was using his reluctance to his advantage.

"Are you nuts?" he demanded of Darren, even as his coworker half-pulled him to the stage. "We'll both end up getting slimed if we're not extraordinarily lucky."

Darren grinned widely and shrugged. "That's a risk I'm willing to take and I have nothing to worry about, but let's see you hold your own!"

Before he knew it, Darren had introduced himself to the game show host and then Todd was shaking Sharky's hand, trying to convince himself that the man didn't have a wicked gleam in his eye that wasn't much kinder than his coworker's.

"So, what's your name, son, and what's your role at Party Land?" asked the host, gesturing to the bench.

"Uh, Todd, sir, and right now I'm the janitor," he stammered, obediently taking a seat across from Darren and trying to deal with the glare from the numerous stage lights against his eyeglasses. "But in a few months I'm set to become an assistant kitchen manager!" Todd found himself anxiously gazing up at the buckets on the rigging above his head, and he pulled his ball cap off, twisting it absentmindedly between his hands.

Sharky laughed condescendingly. "Good luck in your career aspirations. Anyway, you know the drill: answer the question correctly and you win points toward a prize, but if you're wrong or your opponent beats you to the buzzer, it's slime time for you! For this test round, we'll keep it short and sweet with just three questions apiece, and you're up first.

Now...let's fire off the first question!" the flamboyant host cried, provoking a round of applause from the audience. Todd bit his lip, casting a wary eye Darren's way and only getting a sarcastic wink in return. The questions for the road show were apparently meant to promote each hosting location's food specials, and Todd found himself being asked about various appetizers available on the restaurant's menu. Tugging at his shirt collar, he hesitated, realizing with apprehension that he wasn't very familiar with the menu whatsoever, and blurted out an answer that he had already conceded probably wasn't correct.

"Sorry, but that was wrong, and you earned this," chuckled the host, pulling a cord and sending a cascade of thin green slime over his contestant. Todd closed his eyes in anticipation and winced; as he'd feared, it was ice-cold and it ran down over his hair and his gray uniform shirt, reaching past his shoulders. His winged hair was now plastered to his face and he had to readjust his smeared glasses that had been knocked askew. Peals of laughter rang out from the audience, and he forced himself to chuckle.

"O-okay, you got me good," he conceded jokingly, tugging at his stained shirt in dismay and questioning how he'd gotten himself into this mess. "My boss is gonna kill me," he groaned.

"That dry cleaning is coming out of your pay!" laughed a familiar voice, confirming that his boss and coworkers were not only witnessing but participating in his humiliation. Swiping a hand over his forehead to remove the excess sludge, Todd caught sight of Darren almost falling off his seat, shaking with malicious laughter at his misfortune.

In the audience, Cindy tightened her arms across her chest and bit her lip. Although his good-natured way of shrugging off his fate was endearing, she could tell that Todd was deeply uncomfortable, and she resented both Darren and Sharky for capitalizing on it. True, the game show host had a well-known habit of subjecting his occasional adult contestants to some all-in-good-fun mistreatment, but at some point, enough was enough.

*****

"Uh..." The next question had been asked, and Todd had unwisely grabbed his microphone earlier than Darren in a desperate bid to prevent his opponent from beating him to the answer, only to utterly freeze up, uncertain of the multiple choices he'd been offered. Suddenly a buzzer sounded.

"Ohhhh, I'm sorry, but not answering in time is even worse than answering incorrectly!" scolded the host. "What's that earn him?"

"Double-gunge!" screamed the audience eagerly, while Todd rested his forehead on his hand, resigned to taking whatever punishments were dealt his way before he was finally free to go.

The second wave came down even harder than the first, with a flurry of orange slime spilling over him, reaching his waist and even spilling into his tennis shoes. "I give up," grumbled the janitor, desperately hoping that by some miracle Cindy wasn't actually watching his humiliation but knowing she surely was all the same.

*****

"Haha, you're not having much luck today, so we're going to make this easier on you," Sharky offered. "You may have a partner to help you with the last question, so is there anyone you'd like to invite?"

No. I couldn't do that to anyone! Todd was internally panicking.

*****

"I'll do it!" Cindy burst out from the crowd, barely bothering to swipe off the muck on the seat next to Todd before settling onto the bench nestled alongside him. He gasped in disbelief as her black skirt dragged in the slime. She was vivacious and beaming as usual, and she leaned in close, even draping an arm over his soaked shoulder, whispering words of encouragement in his ear.

"I've liked you for a long time," she admitted, her voice strangely husky before turning conspiratorial. "And let's throw this right back at Sharky and Darren." For the first time since he'd taken the stage, Todd found himself genuinely grinning, and he hesitantly wrapped an arm around her waist, since she didn't seem to mind the mess.

"Niiice!" rang out the host. "You two are a cute couple. Now tell me, are you boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Not yet," said Cindy slyly, "but I'd love to be!" For once, Todd was grateful his face was drenched in multicolored gunge, as it hid the deep red he'd turned. Nonetheless, he was anticipating Cindy's apparent plan to beat Darren to a correct answer. For all the embarrassment he'd already suffered, it would feel nothing short of rewarding to see the guy covered in at least as much muck as he was currently wearing.

*****

"Let's face it, you've already lost big-time, but it really wouldn't be fair to send your opponent home squeaky-clean," Sharky began, his gaze darting from the defeated and thoroughly-slopped contestant to the sneering, overly confident one, "so I'll give you two a fair chance at redemption. Get this one right and he gets nailed with the ultimate sliming instead of you." He gestured to Darren, who responded with a spiteful wave of his hand. "The final question is, how many flavors of soda are available in the fountain at Party Land?"

This one he could finally answer, Todd thought, seeing the actual drink fountain out of the corner of his eye while reaching for the microphone, only to have Cindy snatch it up before he could react. Everybody knew the answer was six.

"Seven hundred!" she yelled, slamming the microphone down maniacally and winking at him. Todd yelped. This was her plan, to lose on purpose? What could she be thinking?

The shocked host let his cue card flutter to the ground, then shook his head knowingly and shrugged. "Yeaaah, you kinda brought that down on yourself. You're the craziest contestant we've ever had. Enjoy!"

Todd was still gaping at Cindy in utter disbelief just as the incredible wave of slime struck both of them. She defiantly raised both arms in the air, eager to defeat the game show for all she was worth. The rivulets of green cascaded down her waves of dark hair, over the curves of her chest and even off her black uniform skirt, and she screamed with glee.

"There's one thing I think I love even more than this, and that's this guy!" Cindy announced to the world. Suddenly she had embraced him, even as the gunge continued to rain down. Stealing a glimpse at Darren, who was staring at them in open-mouthed shock, Todd finally understood Cindy's intentions. Winning the game wouldn't have proved anything, but she had undermined his aggressors' plans all the same. Taking on an infectious smile similar to her own, Todd pumped one arm in the air in victory and pulled his new girlfriend tighter against himself with the other.

"Sounds like you two are together," joked the host, trying to save face but inwardly seething. "How about it, could we see a kiss?"

Swiping her mouth first, Cindy leaned in to Todd until their lips met, then meshed thoroughly. He reached out a hand to caress her shoulder, but with his glasses useless, he mistakenly grasped the slippery curve of her chest, only realizing his mistake when she moaned against his mouth.

"I guess we can always edit that one out," sighed Sharky, jumping hurriedly in front of the camera to block the view from the audience.

*****

This was unreal, Todd thought as they stood under a shower stall in the back of the restaurant, a holdover from the building's previous purpose. Unable to wipe the silly grins off their faces for the rest of the show, they'd waited patiently while Darren was awarded some prizes that seemed unimpressive compared to what they had just found together. After the filming was over he and Cindy had made their way to the almost-forgotten shower stall at the back of the restaurant, where she had promptly pounced on him.

"Cindy..." he gasped under the spray of warm water, even while he snaked a hand up her blouse and grasped her and she curled her body into his, both of them leaning against the tiled wall. "Someone might find us this way, and..." he reluctantly withdrew his hand, staring down at the last of the mess swirling down the drain in the floor. "I never saw this coming, but I'm still sorta waiting until, y'know..."

"You too?" asked his girlfriend in disbelief. "I guess I caught you a little off guard today, but..." Her chest rose and fell as she stepped away from the water and reached for the first in a stack of towels, attempting to dry off her soaked and discolored clothing. "You're right, we shouldn't get carried away right now."

Todd smiled a little sadly. "Aww, I hate to do this, but I'm going to turn this shower really cold before we do just that."

Cindy leaned in for one final kiss. "Fine, but you're coming to my place tonight while we wash these clothes properly, and I can't promise we won't make out!"

*****

A year later, Darren tugged at Todd's shoulder while they worked in the venue's expansive kitchen, rearranging some storage shelves. "Hey, uh, could I have a word with you?" he asked his coworker, staring down at the floor and looking a little ashamed.

"Sure," replied the newly-minted kitchen manager good-naturedly. Only two weeks back from his honeymoon with Cindy, he had noted a true change in Darren, and they'd become something close to friends.

"That whole Gunge-A-Palooza thing? Now that I've had time to think about it, I feel like a heel for ever forcing you into that," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, really. It's just that you were hard to deal with back then, what with the way you were always so lonely and melancholy when you had a girl right there who wanted to be with you. I guess I was just envious."

"Aww, thanks, but it's okay," Todd admitted, smiling bashfully. "Maybe it was even meant to be, if it got Cindy and me together." His heart beat faster as his new bride rushed into the kitchen and began assembling trays with customers' orders.

The face of his new friend suddenly turned devious as Darren retrieved a large metal can from the back of the shelving. "This is just great!" he sputtered in mock horror, wiping dust from the can and reading the printing on its lid. "This huge can of chocolate sauce expired three months ago; we can't possibly serve this! When will anyone ever learn to rotate the stock?" Hurriedly passing the can to Cindy as if it was some sort of time bomb, he raised his voice even louder.

"Better get that in the bin outside, unless you can think of a better use for it," he taunted, clapping Todd across the back as their coworkers snickered knowingly. Cindy punched Darren lightly in the arm before she took the can outdoors, no doubt to stash it in their car.

"Heh, sorry, we may be pals and all, but I never said I wasn't above a good joke every now and then," Darren joked.

Bursting into laughter, Todd dipped his cap over his flushed face and knew he had two things: a real piece of work for a best friend and an incredible night ahead of him.