So all I wanted to do was fix my faulty shower. I stand underneath it, dressed only in a skimpy towel, and it unloads a load of lumpy yellow sludge into my face. At the same moment, by pure coincidence, my towel falls off, so I'm naked.

I try three more times to fix it, but each time, I am drenched in the same nasty lumpy yellow gunge. The final time, I think I've finally got it, but I haven't: it sprays a load of high-pressure pink foam right onto my face. I give up, defeated, and turn around to show the embarrassing tramp stamp I now have above my ass. Then I just stand against the wall, naked, gunged and humiliated.

In this video I finally manage to deliver an old-school, full-frontally-nude, standing-up gunge pour. I didn't mix it very well, which is why it's not smooth, but I think that in this case that made it extra nasty.