As I write this, Maria is fast asleep in the sitting room, whilst I am up and writing this report for you. Sadly Maria moves on this morning, but what a fantastic three days of filming we have had. As always it has been a whirlwind of chaos, fun, excitement and..oh yes..loads and loads of mess.

Here's my report with pics for Day 1..if there's interest I will add days 2 and 3 later on.

Thursday night saw Maria reach Slymsford Towers..she was slightly late due to making loads of new friends in a pub she had gone into whilst waiting for me to get home from work. As always her friendly effervescence meant her new pals were loath to let her leave..which meant I burnt her pizza

The third model for the Friday shoot had cancelled so we quickly contacted Honeysuckle and she was happy to step in

Day 1:

Friday morning we got up early and got everything prepped. We had 3 experienced wammers in Maria, Honeysuckle, and Cherry so the omens were good.

I have learned a lot from 3 years of filming and consequently have a lot more shoots I am delighted with than before. This was one of them.

We got 3 great scenes shot:

One where Cherry finds her WAMMINGS are not being done in accordance with Union regulations and is trashed by Union Rep Honeysuckle and Area Manager Maria. This one was written by Piepiskie and as always his idea was great. I had tried to execute it last year with 2 girls (when a third had cancelled) and it didn't work as I wanted it, but this time we totally smashed it!

The second scene has a top secret plot..but went fantastically well too and saw Maria and Honeysuckle end up totally destroyed.

The third scene was a quickie that sees Cherry and Honeysuckle trick Maria into breaching an office rule. Though she is the big boss she has recently made a big deal of saying no-one is above the rules so they delight in exposing her hypocrisy, and trashing her trashing her.

All 3 stars brought their A game and I got 3 fantastic scenes.

There was also a fourth scene shot that day. No pics here as the victim was me. This was an office scene where Cherry trashes a character I play called Mortimer. I haven't decided if I will release it yet but it was certainly great fun to shoot. Plus Cherry said that after 7 years of being pied, gunged and destroyed based on scripts I had written, she truly loved getting her revenge..I have to say it seemed that way too..she didn't hold back!!!.

After a LONG day's shooting which didn't finish till 7pm, Maria and I cleaned up, enjoyed a curry and collapsed in a heap. Maria was in bed by 8:30pm, and me by 9:30pm.

Day 2 to follow, if there is interest?

That sounds a wonderful few days Rev and then you finish it with Cherry trashing you!
Now that would be a dream come true for me.

Thanks for the mention and great to hear you are pleased with how the Union scene went. Look forward to seeing and hearing more.

Dang!!!!! Yall had all kinds of fun. That was just day 1!!! Holy shit that is a lot in one day. What did the other two days bring?

Haha! I know what happened but I still want to see photos of this weekends madness!

Bring on more day by day details!

Looks like fun was had by all. I'm eagerly awaiting Day 2 & 3!

I can certainly think of two people eagerly awaiting the next days update

Thanks all. Too tired to do it justice tonight..but the amazing story of day two, in which we prove that unicorns do exist, is coming in just about 8 hrs.

Really really appreciate all the positive feedback. It's exciting to know people are enjoying hearing about the epic shooing

Didn't have operators standing by to take pledges during the Mariathon?

As always, great reaction shots in the photos. Sounds like loads of fun, among other things.

Day Two...in which we establish that unicorns exist.

Before I tell you about what actually happened on day 2, I need to take you back in time, way way back in time to cold dark February when we were all freezing our nads off..when I received a pm that said "Good evening, Could you tell me, do you accept amateur females for your videos? Happy to send some pictures over if you're interested"

Now I get an awful lot of nonsense and/or scam emails and messages and the idea seemed highly unlikely, so I sent a rather brusque response saying I would only engage any further if pictures were sent. Some pics were sent by someone who it transpired was the husband. They were of a very pretty young woman..who could have been anyone anywhere. Still very suspicious, and concerned if someone was being put up for something they may have no interest in, I continued to be quite stand-offish.

I then received the pictures below, actually showing a young woman being pied whilst requesting to work for Slymsford's Sploshers. I then saw a UMD thread with her doing the same for another producer (https://umd.net/forums/new-messy-victim).

Still sceptical that this may in some way be a con, I did eventually offer to film the lady (I am going to call her 'Michelle' as that is the stage name she has chosen. I am obviously not going to say what her real name is). To try and shake out a scam I did initially say I wouldn't pay anything..but when that didn't put them off at all, I figured... lets see where this goes.

Struggling to find a date was quite difficult but we finally booked in July 1st. My honest thoughts at that point were..this couple seem genuine but as the date gets closer they will back out as what started as a fun fantasy becomes reality..like all the people who were going to go the nightclub on Candy's birthday and then bailed on the day.

So fast forward a few months and the next post will pick up on July 1st....

On the Saturday morning Maria woke up naturally at about 8am. You may think this isn't noteworthy..unless you have ever worked with her. Normally she has to 'gently' be prised awake from a deep sleep at 9am via the use of foghorns, for her to begin a gentle 90 minute coming too process before she transforms into Super Maria.

But today she was up and bouncy and raring to go at 8am. I had been up since 6am. I am always up by 6am on the day of a shoot and always manically running around trying to ensure everything is ready for a shoot. This day was different however. Because..silly reverend..I was still fairly sure 'Michelle' would cancel. We had exchanged emails..including a couple of recent ones where she had confessed to feeling nervous...so in my usually pessimistic way, I was reasonably confident she wouldn't turn up.

I had told Maria the whole story..we agreed I had been wise to take all the precautions I had. I had refused to allow the husband anywhere near the set. That way if he was a controlling monster, Maria and I could just ensure 'Michelle' was okay and not forced into something she didn't want to do. In truth from the recent emails my sense was that this was not the case. I felt this was a genuine couple with a fun fantasy. Still didn't think she would show up tho.

When Maria took a walk to the shop I said I'd go with her. She was amazed..I never have a spare second on shoot day. We walked and chatted and I discussed what we could film if Michelle didn't arrive. I said that there was no rush. When Michelle didn't show, we could have a nice gentle day..film a couple of her customs etc

I took the morning at a gentle pace until , at the appointed time, there was a knock on the door and there was Michelle.

She was absolutely beautiful, and really friendly, and Maria and I knew immediately she would be brilliant. So then we cracked on with the job of initiating her.

We shot 3 scenes

The first was her interview for the wam office. From Mostwam to Messygirl, to Noise to Slymsford's, to Messy Jessie and all points in between, the interview for a messy office is a classic WAM staple, and it just felt appropriate. So Maria interviewed Michelle for the position and tested her to see how she responded to getting the treatment.

Michelle was....and I am going to use a technical expression here..fecking brilliant. So great. She had really nice reactions and looked stunning. Look at the pics...a star is born

Michelle was obviously quite nervous, but Maria and I did all we could to put her at ease and also to let her know how great she was.

Second scene was the 'annual appraisal' tradition where anyone who isn't 100% happy with their boss gives them the treatment. Michelle laughed that in real life "even if you were 100% happy withyour boss, you'd lie because who wouldn't want to give their boss the treatment" and I fell in love

Again, she was great...poor Maria was totally trashed.

Already she had exceeded my wildest expectations. She was stunningly pretty, her acting was better than many pro models, and she was a lovely, warm, genuine person.

She got used to our pace of scenes 'I wondered how it could possibly take over five hours to film three scenes, but now I get it' she laughed, as we broke for lunch and Maria and I consumed a quiche and veg.

Then she suggested pie throwing. 'Oh yes..I throw pies at my husband all the time', she said. 'When he's been a pain, I store up those memories and then pie him really hard'.

I have wanted to do thrown pies in a scene since day 1 but have had trouble finding pies that would work or a model who would throw them. So this was like a dream come true. We made a few pies (Michelle had a suggestion for the filling which worked well too) and in the final scene..which has a top secret plot...Maria threw a pie at Michelle, and Michelle threw a couple at Maria.

I hope Maria will still love me when I say that Michelle threw the better pies. By far. In fact she nailed it. Plus I think she was holding back in case she hurt Maria..and it still was a really good hard accurate pie throw.

I was melting at this point

'was that too hard? ' she worried

'NO!!' Maria and I yelled together.

So..in summary...beautiful, great actress, natural screen presence, real wammer..can throw a great pie.

Despite my initial scam deterring 'No money' assertion, I made sure Michelle took money at the end of the day (though she outright refused to take the increased amount I wanted to give her)

My only fear in telling you all this is that Michelle, who now intends to get a UMD profile and let you all celebrate her awsomeness, will be snapped up by the big boys of WAM and in a few months, as she passes by the front of Slysmford Towers in her limo, will laugh at how she once worked for me. She really is that good.

I have begged her to come back soon so if you are reading this thread super producers please ignore all the above. You don't want or need 'Michelle'. It's all good. Nothing to see here.

This was such a happy fun shooting day. Filming with an amateur wammer who just loves getting messy and is really lovely, just made it a very special day..all the more lovely for massively exceeding expectations

Oh..postscript. As it had all gone so well, Maria and I agreed we should allow the bf to come in for a couple of mins at the end. I had a bad experience with a male chaperone back in the day, so I am always nervous...but when he came in, he was as nice as Michelle. Unassuming, eloquent, genuine etc. A very nice fella. Just a really great couple of wammers.

I am sure hubby will out himself here soon, and I can't wait for Michelle to set up her profile...provided all other producers can all agree to just pretend I never wrote this please and allow me at least one more shoot with this wam superstar in embryo, before the big guns take over.

Michelle..again...you were amazing. Thanks so much!! I cannot wait to work with you again; and Mr Michelle..thanks for not giving up when i was initially sceptical and stand-offish. I know you said it encouraged you to feel that I was genuine too..but I still feel bad. Thanks so much for not giving up, and I hope you think Maria and I did a good job in totally destroying your beautiful wife.

Lets make it happen again soon.

Also...need to say at his point that, as always, Maria was amazing throughout the shoot. I could write a book about how great Maria is. Don't want to read this and have her think 'what the fuck am I..chopped liver?' (I can hear her saying it in that gorgeous New orleans accent too). As always Maria was amazing and did a stand up job. But you all know Maria is a goddess and no-one knows Michelle..so this post is all about the M to the I to the chelle.

Thanks for the kind words re the reaction shots. I think those are our speciality, and we work hard on them, so it is nice to know they are noticed and appreciated.

What am I? Chopped liver?!

In all seriousness though, Michelle was awesome! Such a beautiful woman, and so fun to get messy with. She def knew how to throw a pie! I was terrified of breaking a nose with those hard pie bases. Now I know.... oh yes... now I know! Id love to shoot with you again michelle.

Oh and Rev, I hate to tell you but 9am isn't exactly waking up really late or anything! Jeeze! All this hyper activity doesn't work well with 6am wake ups haha! Love ya.

Rev, your feedback is so appreciated you wouldn't believe! (And it wasn't even me getting it!)

I completely agree you were right to play it safe, we were equally cautious! The finished article looks to me like it was worth the time and effort.

I can now confirm Messy_Miss Michelle is now on the umd and I'm sure it won't be long before she posts to tell everyone what a fantastic day she had!

I can't believe she spent the day getting pies thrown at her, gunge poured over her and generally humiliated at the hands of the lovely Maria only to come home with such a lovely smile and straight away confirming she can't wait for next time

Thank you both for making her feel so comfortable

We're both so excited to see the finished article!

Brilliant Rev

Day 3 was always going to be on a hiding to nothing trying to match those two days that massively exceeded expectations..but it was still a great day's shooting. Maria and I had both had severe headaches..(exhaustion?) on the Saturday night and as soon as Maria had finished filming a custom in my bathroom, I hit the sack and slept the sleep of the just.

We both felt better on the Sunday morning. Good thing too as we were filming with 'force of nature' Kylie K. I love Kylie to bits..she's a really exuberant larger than life model, incapabale of dissembling, who just calls it as she sees it.. just like Maria. In my stupidity I had paired them with Belle who is quite reserved and shy, so it took a little while for Belle's personality to come through, but by the end of the shoot she was on top form too.

We shot two scenes...one of which I can't say too much about..except that Kylie had guaranteed us that her dress would not fall down from the weight of the gunge as her amazing natural boobs would hold it up. She was very confident of this and I was delighted to prove her wrong

The other scene is a 'who has the best boobs in the office?' contest...a partially sponsored scene where the girls start with a wet t-shirt contest before moving onto other rounds. Only the winner gets to stay clean. Altho tragically allegations of cheating and bias mean that by the end all 3 girls end up totally destroyed.

After the girls left, Maria and I shot her final custom, ordered a massive takeaway pizza and relaxed. Maria fell asleep sitting next to me on the sofa before 9pm so I headed up to bed. I left her sleeping in the morning as I headed to work. I felt sad knowing another amazing Mariathon was over but delighted with the amazing scenes we had captured.

Who knows if/when Maria will return. Nothing lasts forever...she is still here in the UK so I will close by saying one final time. If you have ever wanted a session and you want someone who WILL relax you and put you at your ease and is the opposite of a clockwatcher..book Maria now..don't wait..who knows when she will be back. So don't miss out.

Thanks Maria for making Mariathon 17 such a storming success...thanks Michelle for being such an amazing discovery, and thanks to every model who came along too.

Ooooooo... dem fighting words! Bring it!

Trust me... that's a fight you'll lose... I've tried that fight... lol!