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"Why are there so many."
Love you, too
Why are there so many timewasters knocking around nowadays? It seems to be getting worse and worse as time goes on...
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Sorry to hear you're experiencing this, I can totally understand your frustration and anger at this... And totally agree its unfair on the genuine guys who do meet up and may miss out due to late plan changes.
Fortunately I've not had anything as drastic as you've described, but a guy did walk out on a session, but not before he'd actually come over and helped mix some gunge!!
I get guys might want to be discreet, but like you, I insist on decent messaging beforehand and try not to commit to prep untill I know the session will really happen.
Fortunately I've not had anything as drastic as you've described, but a guy did walk out on a session, but not before he'd actually come over and helped mix some gunge!!
I get guys might want to be discreet, but like you, I insist on decent messaging beforehand and try not to commit to prep untill I know the session will really happen.
Barefootgunge said: Why are there so many timewasters knocking around nowadays? It seems to be getting worse and worse as time goes on...
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Barefootgunge said: Why are there so many timewasters knocking around nowadays? It seems to be getting worse and worse as time goes on...
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Totally feel your pain on this although i would never make up gunge or tarp up before someone turned up even if it takes some extra time. Hit me up im nice and local in manchester happy to gunge or get gunged wont waste your time and got many people who can vouch for me.
Best Male Performer Winner Messtival 2019
Barefootgunge said: Why are there so many timewasters knocking around nowadays? It seems to be getting worse and worse as time goes on...
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Totally feel your pain on this although i would never make up gunge or tarp up before someone turned up even if it takes some extra time. Hit me up im nice and local in manchester happy to gunge or get gunged wont waste your time and got many people who can vouch for me.
Best Male Performer Winner Messtival 2019
Barefootgunge said: Why are there so many timewasters knocking around nowadays? It seems to be getting worse and worse as time goes on...
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Sort a meeting place, time and date.... then you'll talk about whats going to happen... then you'll talk some more... and then the day before (or same day, which is the worst) a rather pitiful excuse emerges or just eery silence (which again is the worst)!
The thing is you don't know who you can and can't trust anymore... I used to have a thing that I used to strictly stick too, and that was communication by either text, kik, skype, whatsapp etc so I at least know that the person is 'genuine' before anything. Although this doesn't seem to be enough either anymore (for most organised sessions).
Its incredibly annoying that you can prepare the day before, sometime soending hours inflating pools, putting up dustsheets, mixing bucket after bucket of gunk... just for the person to pull out last minute, or not show at all. The main problem is that gunge isn't particularly 'cheap' when you have 6,7,8+ buckets mixed up, plus any foodstuff and pies you have probably bought (and in some cases a hotel room).
Although, having said that, most don't seem to care... its not coming out of their pocket at the end of the day!!!
The only reason I wrote this is because this has happened several times over the last two weeks... and it genuinely makes you question if to actually host sessions in the future, just feel like its not worth it!!!
One last note... why is this your problem?
Well, say you messaged me for a session that I could host, but you were slightly too late because someone had already taken the session... then says the day before that they're not coming, or just doesnt show up... you, a genuine person, has lost out on a session because of a selfish 'member of our community'. Not only that, it also discourages people like myself from hosting sessions, in turn, making less sessions available in the future...
That is why it is your problem too!
Just needed to get that off my chest...
J
Totally feel your pain on this although i would never make up gunge or tarp up before someone turned up even if it takes some extra time. Hit me up im nice and local in manchester happy to gunge or get gunged wont waste your time and got many people who can vouch for me
Best Male Performer Winner Messtival 2019
Happened to me a few times too. I totally get the nerves thing, but really backing out on the day is a bit much. No way you can play Sunday?? Especially if you have left natrasol thickening nicely since the no-shows!!
I have had people 'go quiet' two or three days before, but I would never get anything prepared before, just in case of a no show. I am afraid it is all part of the times and society we live in. People are very selfish.
Look how many people don't turn up for doctors appointments...and you try getting one quickly!
Look how many people don't turn up for doctors appointments...and you try getting one quickly!
I want to get muddy and messy
Not confined to the WAM scene, I'm afraid - I used to have a boss who would ask to have a meeting, arrange a time and place, then not show up, ignore his phone and then give some BS excuse several hours later. He tried this with several other employees until we got fed up with it.
I've been lucky never to have it happen with anyone here. I insist on knowing the other person's travel plans and having messaged several times prior to meeting, also having their WhatsApp or phone number.
I've been lucky never to have it happen with anyone here. I insist on knowing the other person's travel plans and having messaged several times prior to meeting, also having their WhatsApp or phone number.
Thanks to everyone who has replied, and also everyone who has inboxed me for your support and encouragement. Obviously situations like this make you question if it is worth the hassle and expense of hosting...
Just for peoples information, I had 7 sessions planned over 10 days, some with people staying overnight (due to travel restrictions), some not. It pains me to tell you that a mere 2 out of the 7 actually showed up... yep TWO!
So as you can see, after 5/7 no shows, I felt the need to rant a bit.
I do like the idea of the 'reliable' and 'non reliable' list though... maybe this is something that could be looked into? Maybe a bit like an 'ebay' feedback function? I'll leave that one with admin
Anyway, thanks for the support guys, nice to know there are still some genuine people around.
Just for peoples information, I had 7 sessions planned over 10 days, some with people staying overnight (due to travel restrictions), some not. It pains me to tell you that a mere 2 out of the 7 actually showed up... yep TWO!
So as you can see, after 5/7 no shows, I felt the need to rant a bit.
I do like the idea of the 'reliable' and 'non reliable' list though... maybe this is something that could be looked into? Maybe a bit like an 'ebay' feedback function? I'll leave that one with admin
Anyway, thanks for the support guys, nice to know there are still some genuine people around.
I just want to add that this is not a new thing. I've experienced this for decades. Usually, I'm just taking someone into the swamp, so preparation involves getting some equipment ready, but it's still really annoying when someone wastes my time and often causes me to miss a trip because I wait for them to show up.
And there are those who just go silent when the day is nigh.
Who knows?
And there are those who just go silent when the day is nigh.
Who knows?
The mud-bondage guy
I feel you too!! I think people are afraid of real life communication nowadays and just want to get off to "what will we do?" Def really frustrating!
MyPieRogative said: I feel you too!! I think people are afraid of real life communication nowadays and just want to get off to "what will we do?" Def really frustrating!
This X 1000. When I discuss meeting I'm practical. I like to get all of the technical stuff out off the way so then we can have fun. Many guys I've met don't actually want to meet, just looking for jerk-off stories and material. I've gotten so sick of it that when I get the 'what are you going to do to me?' question, my response is simply 'I'm going to pie you'.
I'm a great storyteller and can get guys off with chat but it bores me so I don't do it. If you don't want to meet, I don't want to chat.
As has been mentioned, I think a lot of times folks are just looking to get off in some way by engaging you in conversation, they never intend to meet. I've noticed that you can often tell who is who by observing the general tone of the conversation. The "tell me what you're going to do to me" thing is a common warning sign but the biggest indicator of a no show for me is failure to show interest in or go into the actual ways and means of arranging the meeting. Perhaps they'll set a place and time but show no interest in how to recognize each other, where to park, should we eat first, that type of stuff.
I've had far more no shows than sincere contacts and have learned to never structure any sort of meet up such that it actually matters whether the other person shows up. Of course, that is easier for me than some as I'm into quarry mud and don't have to make elaborate preparations in advance. The most useful technique I've found is to always insist on a confirmation contact by phone well in advance of whenever you need to start getting ready. Write off anyone who shows hesitance to provide their phone number or who comes up with an excuse for not being able to make the call. And make the preparation work part of the session. If they won't show up to help you set things up or come up with excuse for why they can't, consider yourself warned, many of those type people will no show.
And remember the truth inherent in the old saying, "you have to use to get used". Be up front and honest with folks and don't substitute what you'd like for them to be for what they actually are. Look objectively at your interaction with them and keep your expectations low and you will frequently notice indications that something is not right. Resist the temptation to want it to be right and deal with it as it is and you'll find you get better at weeding out the no shows and time wasters.
I've had far more no shows than sincere contacts and have learned to never structure any sort of meet up such that it actually matters whether the other person shows up. Of course, that is easier for me than some as I'm into quarry mud and don't have to make elaborate preparations in advance. The most useful technique I've found is to always insist on a confirmation contact by phone well in advance of whenever you need to start getting ready. Write off anyone who shows hesitance to provide their phone number or who comes up with an excuse for not being able to make the call. And make the preparation work part of the session. If they won't show up to help you set things up or come up with excuse for why they can't, consider yourself warned, many of those type people will no show.
And remember the truth inherent in the old saying, "you have to use to get used". Be up front and honest with folks and don't substitute what you'd like for them to be for what they actually are. Look objectively at your interaction with them and keep your expectations low and you will frequently notice indications that something is not right. Resist the temptation to want it to be right and deal with it as it is and you'll find you get better at weeding out the no shows and time wasters.
dreamygie said:
This X 1000. When I discuss meeting I'm practical. I like to get all of the technical stuff out off the way so then we can have fun. Many guys I've met don't actually want to meet, just looking for jerk-off stories and material. I've gotten so sick of it that when I get the 'what are you going to do to me?' question, my response is simply 'I'm going to pie you'.
I'm a great storyteller and can get guys off with chat but it bores me so I don't do it. If you don't want to meet, I don't want to chat.
MyPieRogative said: I feel you too!! I think people are afraid of real life communication nowadays and just want to get off to "what will we do?" Def really frustrating!
This X 1000. When I discuss meeting I'm practical. I like to get all of the technical stuff out off the way so then we can have fun. Many guys I've met don't actually want to meet, just looking for jerk-off stories and material. I've gotten so sick of it that when I get the 'what are you going to do to me?' question, my response is simply 'I'm going to pie you'.
I'm a great storyteller and can get guys off with chat but it bores me so I don't do it. If you don't want to meet, I don't want to chat.
I do the same thing now too. It makes me come off as an asshole sometimes, but I feel gross and used when someone has no intention of meeting and then disappears after a wank when I'm sitting their thinking we are actually hitting it off. It's a total turnoff to me now to sexy chat with people I haven't met. I'm a super social person though and really don't feel like any real communication can be had via chatting solely on the internet. Am I showing my age? Haha!!
I feel your pain too my friend. Have had a couple of no shows, but the worst was when I paid for flights from Belfast and a hotel for the weekend in Cambridge to meet a guy who wanted to trash me in a suit. We texted regularly until the night I arrived. Then total silence from him. What a waster!
Falkor said: I feel your pain...however....
If they turn up for the pre-meet, they'll turn up for the messy meet and vice versa (in my experience).
If they turn up for the pre-meet, they'll turn up for the messy meet and vice versa (in my experience).
I would second this. Meet somebody for lunch or coffee or something first. If they show up for that, they're at least seriously considering it.
Age and changing priorities mean that I don't meet people for mud any more. And I know that while it lasted, I had it easier than most because of my gender.
Even so, there were a couple people I pre-met or pre-phoned and the mud-meet just didn't work out for some reason. But nobody was ever actually stood up on the very day that something was scheduled to happen.
It is probably worth mentioning that back when I met people, I insisted on KNOWING them, for real, and I do mean as a person, before ever setting a day or a date. I don't mean that they had to be my best friend forever or the love of my life or anything, but I did want to know my mud partners to the point where I could make sure that...you know...they were trustworthy and that we would get along okay.
I have noticed that a lot of guys want to skip getting-to-know-you and just set up the day. I'm not sure you need to do as much vetting as I used to do but you should do some.
Funny story...years ago I knew a mud guy that wanted to meet a woman he'd been chatting online with for mudding. He showed me her online profile and asked me if I thought she was a real woman or a man faking.
I told him to ask her if she'd meet him for coffee. If she showed up, and looked like her picture -- she was real!
He replied that he didn't want to ask her at all she wasn't real.
Nessie
It's really sad that some people have no consideration for what they put others through. I've had my share of time wasters saying they want to book sessions etc but don't come through. Mostly they're very easy to spot and I don't give them a lot of my time.
Are you charging for your sessions? If so, a deposit is essential. If you're not charging, it sounds like you're footing a bill for the messy items, equipment and hotels etc, so you should be taking a contribution. Ask for at least a small amount in advance and that should be proof enough that they're really committing to it. Apart from that, maybe ask for a Skype chat or something? If they're willing to show you their face on Skype or facetime that would show them (literally) to be more genuine.
And I agree with a previous comment on here, about arranging the more mundane/practical details - asking for their travel plans and organising where/when to meet, maybe going for lunch or a coffee first. If they're a time waster they really won't be interested in talking about that.
I had a strange situation on Twitter last week. A guy (A) wanted to arrange a custom with me and another guy (B), who wants to get into modelling. Guy A is a known time waster, so I was pretty suspicious from the start, but I didn't want to offend guy B, so I entertained a bit of conversation and the idea that we might film something one day. There was a 3-way chat, which guy A left when I said I'd need to discuss details with guy B, if a custom was going to happen. I had separate email exchanges/chats with each of them, but was very wary about arranging anything. In the end guy B made a slip-up, I called him out and managed to get him to confess he was guy A all along! He wanted to prove he's not as bad as his reputation by pretending to be someone else!! And at the same time trying to get a session out of me for the price of a custom, while pretending someone else was paying for it! I still got messages from him after that saying "are we not friends any more"
Are you charging for your sessions? If so, a deposit is essential. If you're not charging, it sounds like you're footing a bill for the messy items, equipment and hotels etc, so you should be taking a contribution. Ask for at least a small amount in advance and that should be proof enough that they're really committing to it. Apart from that, maybe ask for a Skype chat or something? If they're willing to show you their face on Skype or facetime that would show them (literally) to be more genuine.
And I agree with a previous comment on here, about arranging the more mundane/practical details - asking for their travel plans and organising where/when to meet, maybe going for lunch or a coffee first. If they're a time waster they really won't be interested in talking about that.
I had a strange situation on Twitter last week. A guy (A) wanted to arrange a custom with me and another guy (B), who wants to get into modelling. Guy A is a known time waster, so I was pretty suspicious from the start, but I didn't want to offend guy B, so I entertained a bit of conversation and the idea that we might film something one day. There was a 3-way chat, which guy A left when I said I'd need to discuss details with guy B, if a custom was going to happen. I had separate email exchanges/chats with each of them, but was very wary about arranging anything. In the end guy B made a slip-up, I called him out and managed to get him to confess he was guy A all along! He wanted to prove he's not as bad as his reputation by pretending to be someone else!! And at the same time trying to get a session out of me for the price of a custom, while pretending someone else was paying for it! I still got messages from him after that saying "are we not friends any more"
Feel your pain mate. I do hope continue being awesome mate, you sound like an asset to mucky community. Including the rest of you who also share his pain.
Being discreet does not mean being an ass would never allow that happen to any mucky pal on here. One way i manage it is get the other person to pitch in helping to prep and buy some stuff that way if they don't turn up no loss to you with your time.
Fellow posters idea of providing button 'recommended mucker' or something.... that can only be counted after both confieming the session with website.
Being discreet does not mean being an ass would never allow that happen to any mucky pal on here. One way i manage it is get the other person to pitch in helping to prep and buy some stuff that way if they don't turn up no loss to you with your time.
Fellow posters idea of providing button 'recommended mucker' or something.... that can only be counted after both confieming the session with website.
Stay Mucky :)
I, too, feel your pain. It's not good at all for someone to go silent or provide an 'excuse' so so close to the day you are due to meet up - what's even worse is that a few days later that's person's profile is 'deleted' off the website.
Barefootgunge, I do recall actually meeting you a few years ago in hotel on the outskirts of Manchester city centre if I remember rightly, and I'd meet you again. We didn't gunge as that wasn't the plan, but we chatted and you were very nice and pleasant to get along with. Although we did play a few games with cards
As mentioned above a 'blacklist' of people who bail out would be useful, but probably not the best thing to publish on here.
There are genuine people out there, and I can certainly vouch for some who have already replied on this thread as I have met them personally.
Barefootgunge, I do recall actually meeting you a few years ago in hotel on the outskirts of Manchester city centre if I remember rightly, and I'd meet you again. We didn't gunge as that wasn't the plan, but we chatted and you were very nice and pleasant to get along with. Although we did play a few games with cards
As mentioned above a 'blacklist' of people who bail out would be useful, but probably not the best thing to publish on here.
There are genuine people out there, and I can certainly vouch for some who have already replied on this thread as I have met them personally.
