Its strange, when you think about it, that I like to see a really attractive girl, dressed in very smart, or sexy clothes, fully made up and looking really sexy and attractive, just how I like a girl to look, in an ideal way.
When you have gone to the trouble of getting a lovely lady to dress to your exact specification, what do I then like to do?
JUST TOTALLY TRASH AND DESTROY HER!!!
If she was dressed in something I'm not keen on, like tights, flat shoes, trackie bottoms or whatever, I wouldn't want to destroy the outfit so she would get away with it.
Its strange, when you think about it, that I like to see a really attractive girl, dressed in very smart, or sexy clothes, fully made up and looking really sexy and attractive, just how I like a girl to look, in an ideal way.
When you have gone to the trouble of getting a lovely lady to dress to your exact specification, what do I then like to do?
JUST TOTALLY TRASH AND DESTROY HER!!!
If she was dressed in something I'm not keen on, like tights, flat shoes, trackie bottoms or whatever, I wouldn't want to destroy the outfit so she would get away with it.
Interesting thought to view this as contradictory. In some sense it is for sure contradictory on the other hand I assume for many - like me - it's the essence of WAM.
Speaking for myself it might be the reason why I started producing in the first place. Being able to define the outfit and the styling of a gorgeous woman before she gets trashed would have been something only to dream of a few years ago
Btw. this contrast of perfectly dressed and styled and completely trashed is also why I love photos so much. They allow the quick switch between before and after or various stages, even to see both at the same time next to each other.
It is the essence of WAM for me too. Linda, in your latest update does it brilliantly, and I remember another stunner, Paula, getting brilliantly messy too.
Another contradictory element of WAM for me is the fact that I am certain that I have (not officially diagnosed or treated) obsessive compulsive disorder. Everything that I own, especially clothes and shoes, has to be spotless and in near perfect condition.
Contrast this with me taking delight in seeing a gorgeous girl get naked and very messy! (I have also self-wammed in the past but the clean ups were so stressful that I figured it wasn't worth pursuing often)
I think we probably all would rather see someone gunged in a favourite outfit, but what counts as a favourite outfit varies by the wammer.
Personally what I find ultra-sexy is a woman wearing "industrial" clothes, overalls, tight-fitting boilersuits, military combat trousers, and big boots or wellies. I also like jeans, and plain, severe, knee-length uniforms. So if someone is wearing that kind of clothing then I find them very attractive and want to see them gunged. And while it's true that those are the kinds of clothes people might wear to do messy work, even so in a normal situation people will still try and keep themselves as dry and clean as possible. So when someone wearing say high waist army trousers over a swimsuit, with wellies on her feet, doesn't try and stay clean but instead deliberately chooses to get messy, sitting down in a squishy cake covered in custard, or allowing or even inviting a friend to fill her trousers with cream, or getting into the mud and sitting, sliding, and rolling in it - that is still "beyond normal behaviour" and so exciting and sexy to watch or take part in.
So the "contradiction" idea still works to an extent regardless of what someone is wearing, if they willingly wear it into a situation that they wouldn't do in "normal life", but chose to do it because they enjoy it, and if the audience viewing them doing it likes the outfit.
I believe Wam is an 'add on fetish' in that the majority of people who love Wam seem to love it more when paired with other interests, I mean, how many photos are met with 'could you do that but wearing stockings/white jeans/tights etc' Personally I do prefer women made up, looking elegant in skirts and hosiery, but that's what I find attractive anyway. Would prefer to see a normal woman wearing clothes that leave everything to the imagination than a supermodel naked, and the same with Wam, get so frustrated to see a fully clothed woman, wearing stockings and heels, only for her to take them off before getting messy. But that's just me, and I'm a weirdo, everyone has there own interests and there's nothing wrong with it, and it makes the scene vibrant
I believe Wam is an 'add on fetish' in that the majority of people who love Wam seem to love it more when paired with other interests, I mean, how many photos are met with 'could you do that but wearing stockings/white jeans/tights etc' Personally I do prefer women made up, looking elegant in skirts and hosiery, but that's what I find attractive anyway. Would prefer to see a normal woman wearing clothes that leave everything to the imagination than a supermodel naked, and the same with Wam, get so frustrated to see a fully clothed woman, wearing stockings and heels, only for her to take them off before getting messy. But that's just me, and I'm a weirdo, everyone has there own interests and there's nothing wrong with it, and it makes the scene vibrant
Going off of what Justine wrote, when I was just hitting my dating stride right before the internet took off, back before the UMD was really a thing, some of the conversational ploys I'd use when trying to sort out my compatibility with a girl during the initial flirt or on subsequent dates revolved around her reactions to fabricated stories I'd tell about "my last girlfriend who used to love off-roading and mudding in her work clothes for some weird reason", or "my friend's girlfriend who did a pie-in-the-face charity and had WAY too much fun wink wink". I'd usually follow it up with "eh, to each his own", or a playful "I bet you'd just LOVE that..." in a slightly sarcastic tone to give myself plausible deniability in case she was actually repulsed by it.
The point being I wasn't interested in a girl who took herself so seriously that she wouldn't even entertain the idea of people having fun getting messy, or who judged others negatively for it even if it wasn't her thing. Her being open to the whole premise of WAM was my first dating litmus test. So yeah, for me it's the very essence of WAM also.
On a side note, I dated this one bombshell barista, half black and half Korean, who said she was genuinely turned on by the idea of total body whipped cream coverage, and I was so unprepared for her to say that that I pretended not to hear her!!! It all ended well with my wife who indulges me, but damn...she was a real hammer. That would have been epic.
I'm with thedude and Justine on this one. I think this is part of what makes this fetish so fascinating and thrilling to me is just how... ridiculous and irrational it is. Add to it an element of "forbidden fruit" because you can get yourself into trouble for either for giving or receiving a sloppy mess, and at least for me, that's just intoxicating.
It also can make it very awkward to bring up during flirting / dating / whatnot. I think a lot of us have stories like thedude's. I know I've probably missed some opportunities because I was either too chicken to bring it up to a woman, or I just couldn't keep my cool when I felt like she brought it up. It makes it all the more precious when it all comes together, knowing how many different ways it could have gone off the rails.
But yeah, I'm reminded of one of my exes who indulged me. She agreed to be my date for a mud volleyball tournament and just goof off on the court together between games. Before we left, she asked me, "I probably shouldn't shower before we go, should I?"
"Oh no, you absolutely should! The cleaner you are when you arrive, the dirtier you can get."
RobbyWLP said: How do we know that the contradictory nature of WAM is not a contradiction itself?
What if even discussing the contradiction of the contradictory nature of WAM opens up a hole in the Gunge-Pie Time Space continuum where a pie was never throwing nor a drop of gunge dropped?
What if Noel's House Party was not really a house party?
What if You Can't Do That on Television was actually on radio?
It's a good point. Here's another way of putting it. It just seems like there's a potential disconnect between what people find attractive and what they find erotic. Sometimes they come apart, sometimes they go together.
But I think that's true for normies and fetishists both. I have to believe that everybody faces the 'contradiction' to some degree.
Interesting comments by Dungeon Master One, who likes girls in industrial type clothes, overalls etc and this shows how much variety there is in this fetish, as I am the total opposite, that look does absolutely nothing for me at all. I like smart outfits which you would not, in the normal course of events, want to mess up, getting wrecked
My custom which Charlotte did for me, and the recent update by WAM photography of Linda are prefect illustrations of my kink
Mr Angry. What you describe sums up the essence of it for me too.
Splitting hairs, I might call wet and messy fun a paradox rather than a contradiction.
Mess is matter out of context. Custard is out of context when dripping down an evening dress. Therefore, it's a deliciously naughty and decadent thought.
What's the last thing a woman would wear if she knew there was a risk of spilling food on it? Then that's the more appealing garment to be wearing for a custard pie fight!
Trouso said: Mr Angry. What you describe sums up the essence of it for me too.
Splitting hairs, I might call wet and messy fun a paradox rather than a contradiction.
Mess is matter out of context. Custard is out of context when dripping down an evening dress. Therefore, it's a deliciously naughty and decadent thought.
What's the last thing a woman would wear if she knew there was a risk of spilling food on it? Then that's the more appealing garment to be wearing for a custard pie fight!
Definitely! To me the ultimate would be several busty stunners who have spent AGES getting ready, their make up, nails, tans, hair all immaculate, dressed in tight, sexy dresses or suits, always stockings and very high heels, all looking fantastic, just abandoning themselves to a gloriously messy, no holds barred massive pie fight, hundreds of pies flung at each other, until the whole room is just a complete mess, and all the girls are absolutely plastered with custard, cream and general messy goo, after which they then rip each others clothes off
there has only been ONE PERSON actually INTO wam that i have seen NOT be very clean and neat and organized in their daily lives. jilly. lol. XD that girl was the queen of unorganized and was ocd in ways like, how a video looked, how a picture was framed or how she typed something but not in cleaning. lol. id come over after she had shot a video and there was still like glitter and glue all in the tub or whatever.... im like "oh my god....." dear lord.....bc once i shoot something i want EVERYTHING CLEAN RIGHT AFTER BEFORE I MOVE ON! and it actually gets in the way when im trying to film multiple scenes in one day. i paid dixie extra money one day to rinse out a bunch of buckets while she took her shower!! lol just bc i didnt want them sitting there for a few hours while all us girls finished up! even still. ill find a splatter here, a splatter there, that i just MISSED while wiping down walls. i am literally repainting my entire kitchen bc the paint on it is SHIT and i have wiped those walls too many times to count!! lol XD im more of a "organized clutter" type of gal but I am not DIRTY. i mean, yeah, ill go a couple days without a shower but i need clean undies and my house needs to be clean, kept up, etc. no FILTH, i suppose.
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE NAUGHTY PART OF IT. like, i have been looking for pants business suits that fit PERFECTLY bc i want to mess them up!! not to wear bc they look great on me!! lol XD but, because i wanna trash them or get them soaked! they are really hard to find that fit PERFECT without shopping around but yes, i have wanted to do that bc, you find something that is like, a diamond in the rough....then you trash it....its like "oh my god, i cannot believe i just trashed this!!" i trashed my ACTUAL WEDDING DRESS I WAS GOING TO WEAR TO MY WEDDING that never happened bc i left him.....bc i knew it was never gonna happen. its in ariels store. you should check it out. vintage, beautiful wedding gown. im talking circa late 60s. gorgeous. i trashed a 400 dollar prom dress in mud, a vintage silk organza gown made during vietnam war when the women were working making dresses, union american made....and everytime. its a RUSH!!! i have a wedding dress right now that was worth 6 grand when it first came out a few years ago. its ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. one of a kind....and i havent found a taker on trashing it yet but when i do....that is gonna be glorious....its like you feel bad but then you get this RUSH and you just go nuts!! i love it!! the taboo of wam is what is ONE PART of it that is really fun.
What great posts! Yes, there is an element of "you shouldn't do that!" which is a lot of the appeal. Getting a lovely lady dressed up to exactly how you want her to look, then destroying her with pies does have an element of sub/dom about it, she knows that she has made her look gorgeous for you and you are simply going to trash her, instead of paying her compliments and generally treating her like the lovely lady she is.
Sally, the slapstick stooge I used to regularly meet up with enjoyed this aspect and I used to go shopping for her outfit a week or so before our session and just looking at, and buying, the clothes gave me a buzz. They were fairly cheap, I used to go to Primark usually, but smart and sexy, always a bit on the small side, so her big boobs were practically bursting out.
When she emerged from the bathroom, looking sexy, but outwardly respectable, in a tight office skirt suit, blouse and 6 inch heels, I would always hold her close, running my hands over her tight clothes, before kissing her, knowing that I was about to messily humiliate this amazingly sexy girl, and would often rip the carefully selected outfit to shreds after messing her up with plenty of pies!
She loved it too, and knowing that your selected WAM victim found it a turn on too was brilliant
sirclock said: There absolutely is a contradictory nature in WAM, and at the root of quite alot of of other sexual fetishes as well... It's always a good idea to be exploring the nature of why we have this kink, fantasy or obsession.
The nature of taboo is essential in many fetishes. The fact that we are still historically crawling out of the victorian age, where sexuality was so suppressed and demonized, has alot to do with where these cultural taboos stem from and why we are attracted to them. The act of "taboo busting" is liberating. Who wants to be prim and proper always? Getting messy is a "busting out" of socially accepted or normal behavior. Yet there is also a humiliation / degradation aspect to WAM, why? Because it is to have one's "put together" appearance apparently tarnished or "ruined" ... Yet there is something empowering about that as well. Culturally women have more pressure put on them to appear beautiful and put together, to witness a woman having that basically teased and mocked by pieing or slimeing her is catering directly to that cultural image being broken down, while the act itself is simultaneously highly sensual, submissive and feminine... A depiction of raw femininity and a teasing of gender roles simultaneously... For me, what is most erotic is a beautiful woman who is confident enough to willingly and playfully be mocked and teased publicly, because it is a portrayal of her own liberated state of being; She is radiating her sexuality and femininity behind the veil of that in itself being culturally considered "yucky" or "gross" because it's taboo... I find that revealing, again, because historically femininity, women, sexuality in itself was basically considered taboo for thousands of years, and now we are finally reveling in it.
When someone genuinely desires to see a woman actually get humiliated or be uncomfortable there are elements of sadism wound in, which is an entirely different beast and psychology in itself. Most people with this fetish do not actually want women to suffer, yet they still get hugely aroused from seeing a willing woman do something taboo that basically appears as humiliation but is actually a enjoyable, even sensually blissful. It's really the combination of something that is so sensually charged with the taboo of it also appearing also degrading (like how public humiliation TV shows truly are) that makes it so erotic. There's an attraction/repulsion magnetic game at play. The other elements are of course dominance and submission. Someone getting messed up is in a submissive role. Again, usually people prefer to see someone willingly take on a submissive role, then say, someone being forced into submission via sadistic dominance and abuse.
In the act of "submitting" there is a surrendering that takes place that is also at the root of many sexual fetishes. In the act of surrendering, or being tied to a chair, or put in stocks, again there is a liberating experience inherent in simply letting go to what is unfolding. Again, what unfolds is a highly sensual experience that is also simultaneously considered humiliating or taboo think about that in terms of transcendence. The highly erotic and sexual experience is allowing for a liberation out of the cultural norms and stigmas. It can be a way of liberating out of the fear of being manipulated, or forceful degradation, or it can liberate someone from the guilt of desiring to "trash" another person, by reveling in the fact that the enjoyment goes both ways. The classic erotic phrase "Let me have it." carries much of this similar liberation, releasing of the previously (culturally) suppressed beast in man and women, to be "grown up" or "put together". In particular this fetish, like many, allows for a return to the unabashed playful spontaneity of childhood, where there was not yet such a conditioned divide between right / wrong or good / evil but rather a profound sense of life being a journey of exploring, and an adventure of simply playfully experimenting and trying things out, what feels good, and what is fun to do.
This is a long-winded post, but I wanted to get it out because I think that this fetish, like many, is really something that can be tremendously empowering and healing to the human psyche in addition to being alot of fun. Being aware of these dynamics I don't think ruins the appeal, but actually allows those with this fetish to keep pushing the bar of just how ecstatically blissful, sexy and liberating this kind of play can be while also reflecting back to us our own unconscious desires and conditioning.
Well put, though. I think you nailed several of the most probable narratives.
DungeonMasterOne said: I think we probably all would rather see someone gunged in a favourite outfit, but what counts as a favourite outfit varies by the wammer
Totally agree with this Each to their own. As long as both sides get a kick out of the dishevelment then what's not to like?
And to JinxyJenny - You really get it Welcome to this madcap world
For me, WAM is an entirely aesthetic fetish. I like the look of a beautiful woman. I like the look of a beautiful woman covered in mess. Maybe I'm oversimplifying things a lot here, or maybe there's nothing contradictory about it. It's just what I'm into.
The only thing I find contradictory about WAM is that I don't get how someone can feel humiliated and yet derive pleasure from it. That's not an inherently WAM question though, as one can WAM without humiliation, and humiliate/be humiliated without using mess.
The great thing about the M in Wam is that you get the sensation of being wet with someone, (and showering with someone is not considered weird) but you get a tasty snack too Um... I would imagine, never had the pleasure of doing it, although am talking to someone online who loves Bugsy Malone and has initiated a pie fight between us in the future, and she is beautiful, so fingers crossed
Johnny_Yen said: I like 'em best nude or in strappy, sexy lingerie and stockings.
Or maybe with leather wrist cuffs and some jewelry (necklace, drop earrings)
Many are turned on by the ruining of the outfit, but that doesn't even enter into it for me.
I can't imagine why a boilersuit would be an appealing outfit in any circumstance (unless it came off quickly to reveal elegant lingerie). This observation is not meant as a criticism, but only to lead to this question :
"Is there an outfit that any WAMMER finds appealing EXCLUSIVELY in the context of WAM?
For instance, does Dungeonmasterone find boilersuits appealing for bondage? Or spanking? Or tickling? (Or whatever).
I think we all simply hope, desire, prefer that our partner to be visually appealing.
Maybe that statement sounds painfully self-evident and obvious, but if such a statement is true, then there's really no "contradictory nature" to WAM at all.
Yes, I find women in (well fitting) boilersuits sexy in all contexts - were I to say hire an escort to spend a day with me and I could specify her outfit, then she would spend the day in a fitted boilersuit and boots, with a plain swimsuit underneath, even if there wasn't any WAM on the agenda, because that's a look I love.
I do still see a bit of a contradiction though, because even though overalls are what people wear to do potentially messy work, in "normal life" they'll still try and avoid getting deliberately messy. Where as in the WAM world, they'll throw themselves willingly into the mess and get as messy as possible. To me that's part of the magic of it, the "willing and happy submission to the mess, and the desire to be totally messy."
Johnny_Yen said: We like to WAM what we prefer to see.