So I haven't been around in a while and if you follow me on twitter (@jillianlanewam) you probably already know everything that's going on. I'm not a huge fan of letting every person in on what's happening to me because, try as I might, I just end up sounding like a huge BUMMER. But since I've been so sick, and now I have to have surgery Tuesday, I am setting my 2014-2015 releases at 50% OFF. ANY of the videos from the images you see on here are half off! That means solo videos, "naughty" videos, Nerea, Jayce, and even Kaydens videos right along with me ^_^ Lapdances, POV, in the bed, bathtubs full of f'mallow, it all goes ^_^

So enjoy it while it lasts! I'll likely only have this up for about 48 hours AT MOST and sales are not something that's common in our store.

If you want to know more details about everything that's going on, you're more than welcome to check me out on Twitter, but I'm not going to make this a big "bummer-fest" on UMD

I'm heading back to the couch to watch some more Louie on Hulu+ and relaaaaxxx.... It's been rough trying to! Love you guys xoxo

P.s. We may be running a sale for the same purpose in the WAMFuckers, Inc. store, so keep your eyes peeled for that as well!

sorry to hear, miss j...

good luck on tuesday.

jy

Using the word "surgery" next to that thread preview image is a little scary...

Good luck on your surgery, though.

Good luck on the surgery and I hope that you get to feeling better soon.

And thank you for the sale I picked up several videos that I hadn't got around to.

Hope everything goes well. Lots of love!

its sister surgery week, yall! lol! i have one on thursday! fucking surgeries! I have to have a nip tuck done and it is going to suuuuuuuck something fierce!
either way, any surgery sucks. so, love ya sis. maybe we can lay up in bed together and shaving cream fight from the laptop. lol. bahahaa.

Hey Jilly, I have some anecdotes about dealing with anxiety that I hope will help. Since I'm a Twitterphobe and your surgery is so near, I'm putting them in this thread rather than risk having them get buried in an inbox. And who knows, maybe someone else will find them useful.

I used to have a sort of snowballing anxiety during haircuts. Feel a little nervous, then think that might make me twitch or make the barber nervous, and then that might cause a scissors mishap, then that makes me more nervous, etc... Totally ridiculous I know, but it was an impulse that was difficult to control until I finally settled on this little trick: pretend my sister is giving me a haircut. Now, even if the barber were to slip and injure me it would not bother me in the slightest as my mind is in a place of childhood play with someone I love and trust. It seems I have to reassure myself that the person I am handing control over to is not a bad person or someone that means to do me harm. Although over time plenty of assholes have done their best to reinforce that generalized anxiety, little tricks like the one I described have given me the tools to overcome it even if I don't feel I have the courage to (and maybe that is "courage" -- I don't know).

Quitting smoking cold turkey is very hard and there are many mental tricks one invents along the way. One that has stuck with me in other situations is visualizing myself as a character in the Sims video game. One has to tend to the character's needs such as food, sleep, shelter, etc... and there are such things as mood indicators and other vital, economic metrics displayed. Many times when I had an impulse to get out of my chair and go to the store to get cigarettes, I would say to myself, "Nah, this guy doesn't need cigarettes. His vitals won't go down just staying where he is. Let's see if I can think of something else to remove that cloud over his head." Somehow this rational outside view of myself was very effective in calming my anxiety, and I think the visual memory of that video game gave this "trick" more power. Happy to say I haven't smoked a cigarette in 4 or 5 years (can't even remember which).

Even if those tricks don't quite work for you, hopefully it will get you thinking of tools to tame that "fight or flight" response that can seem so overwhelming in situations like these.