Shittest 3 years in a row ever - many of you know most of that already so I will spare you the recap. Newest crap is

My dad has cancer

I've felt vaguely low level ill ever since we found out - I think it's anxiety or something

I've gone off loads of food since having covid and mealtimes are just an annoying chore to make the hungry go away

Absolutely CBA with Christmas. I think it should be once a decade. Once a year feels like every 5 friggin minutes.


But... I'm grateful for

Roof over my head
You lot
That the internet & UMD allows me to do what I do
Supportive immediate family


Join me in complaining about stuff


Thread rules

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No politics related moaning please as it does my head in and then I'll have to avoid my own thread

Counter it with at least one positive thing you are grateful for (I've been forgetting to do this recently and need to do it more)

Put up with me offering solutions even if you don't want them - I'm terrible for this (sorry) and I promise I won't get shirty with you in return. Solutions are not promised but if I think of one I have to say it

I know people also get mad about platitudes, I have no idea what the definition even is - if I say something I mean it from the heart

Sorry to hear how shit it's been for you lately, just know your content makes a lot of people happy.

Complaints from me,

I'm fed up with the perpetual struggle, like just when you think you've got everything right something comes along to mess it up and you're stressing out how to do everything and keep everyone happy.

Gutted that I fell off my bike and missed the best three weeks of the summer riding.

Fed up with people asking "what're you doing New Year's Eve?"

Grateful tho that no matter how hard it gets, I do have my home and my wonderful family.

Grateful that I managed to repair my bike and still had some awesome days out.

Grateful that NYE isn't compulsory and I can be in bed at 10:00pm dreaming of my next messy session

God yes to both

I usually love Christmas and NYE but I do also my body seems to have decided on a new and non negotiable sleep schedule of 9:30pm to 4am or 5 am so I think for the first time ever I might be in bed long before midnight

I am making no effort to change it because I love being up early and getting my coffee and half my to-do list done before anyone else is even awake. Feels good.

So as a reformed night owl I'm grateful for that too

For anyone else who wants this year to just sod off...

The platitudes thing is mostly false ones.

Think when someone working for a company sets their email signature to start with "Warm regards," Then one of their customers gets an email that reads like this:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oi! Peasant!

If you don't pay us every penny you owe us by next Tuesday, we're going to cut off your gas supply and make your entire family freeze to death!

Warm regards,

- The Gas Company.
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Death to false platitudes.

Whinges:

That sexism is still a thing and that so many guys can't accept that yes, women can install boilers, drive tanks and fight, slaughter pigs, park cars, or whatever else some brain-dead mansplainer is moaning about this week.

That so many people want to set themselves up in judgement over others who's lives and experiences they know nothing about.

That I can't afford to make UMD25 in Vegas next year.

Grattitude:

This place, and MM for creatihg and running it for all these years.

Being in an awesome relationship with Lady Jasmine.

My cat, Midnight, who is incredibly loving and likes to supervise us all in the dungeon during shoots.

Knowing so many awesome and willing splosh models.

Everyone who has ever joined one of my sites or bought a scene from me. Truly wonderful people every last one of them.

Ducks. Ducks are one of the best things ever.

One of the many things I like about this site is that sometimes users feel confident enough to chat freely about their inner feelings.

We all enjoy the lovely pictures and posts.
And thanks for posting.

But we also can show care for each other.

Life is shit sometimes. Beyond control.
My defense has been to think positive thoughts.

Remember the happiest day you can recall.
What made it happy? Friends? Freedom and Fun?
Success?
This day will come again. We have to pass through a tunnel first.

What are you looking forward to? I'm looking forward every day to something.
Even just getting my trunks wet on holiday.
I know that sounds stupid, but we all have a thing.

Anyway, Best Wishes to your Dad.
And Best Wishes to You.
If you knew how much fun you've given over the years,
you would feel ten feet tall now.
Peter

I'm tired of working my ass off in a crappy job that barely covers the bills.

I'm tired of fighting with a brain that got anxiety, depression, ADHD, and oh look maybe a dissociative identity

I'm tired of watching good friends struggle and not having the resources to help

Also, I'm tired of having all the scripts and enthusiastic models but not having enough in the checking account to make pie films

Grateful?

I'm grateful that I'm not dead. The universe has tried many times with things like auto accidents and cancer, including once trying to get me to do the job for it. Won't be fooled again

I have two AMAZING partners who love me dearly and encourage my gender expression and fetish behavior

I have so many wonderful friends who are fun, interesting, attractive, and find my weirdness just right for them

The new Star Trek series with Anson Mount is pretty damn good

Is it time for the airing of grievances already?? Low key my favorite part of the year.

Toxic family members I am forced to deal with because the family I do care about won't write off the toxic people.

The lack of journalism in society. Unfortunately journalism has gone the way of meteorology. Not too many weathermen out there on the news that actually have a weather station on the roof they check. They have a computer to tell them. Same with journalism. Not too many good journalists out there. If they are, they can't be bothered to proof read their articles to make sure they used the right words or that it even makes sense. We have lost the pursuit of truth to the all mighty click. Then when we do have those that chase the facts and try to get the story right, they are bombarded by people whose opinions mean more than the facts. So they go after the journalists.

The fake charity and be kind to others bullshit that happens this time of year. All because a generic story with quite a few liberties taken is applied to multiple religious figures claiming to be born around this time. So people act like their actions the other 11 months of the year don't matter. Tis the season to be like *insert religious figure name here*.

The FDA. There are so many treatments for diseases that are being used successfully in other countries. The FDA wants their kickbacks and bribes to approve medical treatments and depending on who pays them the most they get approved. Company A makes a pill at a low cost that treats condition Z. There is also company B that makes a similar pill. The side effects are worse and they charge a 500% markup for their pill. Company B finds out about company A and wants to block them from getting approved by the FDA. So out come the checkbooks. The FDA get their money, company B keeps making money and even raises the price because of what company A tried to do. Company A goes to another country where people are benefiting from the medication while the people who are sick sink further in debt to treat their medical conditions. It is almost like the system is designed this way to keep people beholden to their employers that treat them like shit and pay shit wages all so those at the top can make millions.

The people who defend the horrible actions of others.


I am happy that I finally found an employer that values my skills and pays me a decent wage for the value they see. It took my over 20 years to find this employer, but I am glad I did. Yes there are parts of my job that I hate and things that are shitty, but my employer more than makes up for that. This is the first company I have worked for that when they talk about having your back if you get sick or something, they mean it. I had never had a boss threaten me because I logged in and checked my email after going through surgery. I have had them get mad because I didn't. Or because I didn't call a client from my hospital bed to fix whatever issue they had going on.

I am glad that some of the producers here are still working hard on making content. Ours is not a get rich scene, or a pay all the bills scene. It is really for the love of the fetish and I am glad they still do it. That they keep innovating things.

NOOOOOO!!! I miss you!


They are pretty amazing. I'm also on a capybara kick aka: Guinea Bigs or Coconut Dogs

Even if you don't use Twitter, you should at least check this out, it's super wholesome!!!
https://twitter.com/shouldhaveaduck/status/1503911545343922179

Gripes...good lord, I so many, but I'll try to keep it short

1. Time lost. I'm still very bitter about mostly losing what should have been the best 20 years of my life to crippling chronic illness. My life's plans, college, career, dreams, all in the shitter. It's been a humbling part of my life.

2. Shitty family. A lot of people can echo this. My mother is genuinely a horrible person with serious issues and zero desire to work on or attempt to fix them. She is an emotional and financial drain on the rest of her family. She ruined so many lives with her spite.

3. Burnout and depression. Between my health, my family, finances, divorce, I've been very depressed for a long time. My psych calls me "Job" like from the Bible. It's quite hard for me to find any happiness in my life. Furthermore, I'm tired. I'm always exhausted, and now that I work, it takes it's toll on me. I don't really have a day off until Jan 7th.

Gratitudes

1. Against all odds I'm alive. I don't know why, and I'm not necessarily "happy" about it, but being alive means there are opportunities to find meaning. Not only am I alive, my health is the best it's been since I was 18 years old. My Crohn's and arthritis are in remission, I can work out and do physical activities again. I don't know why things turned out this way, but I'm grateful to have an opportunity to try and have a real life.

2. The good eggs. Why my blood relatives are mostly shit with very few exceptions, I was very fortunate to make a friend in high school who became so much more. A brother, closer than any blood of mine. But not just him, his whole family! Two more guys I call brother, and a sister, and best mom. I can't put into words how much they mean to me and have redefined "family" for me. I don't think I'd be here without them.

3. Meaning and Purpose. While I'm very much lonely, depressed and unhappy, I've found some meaning in my life. My greatest love language has always been acts of service, so work (when the job isn't dogshit) has always helped me get by. Part of the problem was that I couldn't work for so long. I've been blessed to have a job since the beginning of 2020. Even moreso, it's in the medical field. For so long I was the patient, and now I get to help patients get things they need. While the job doesn't pay that great, I'm blessed to have wonderful people both above and below me. My bosses value me, and fight for me when I need it, and let me take time I need when my body just can't handle it. Furthermore, my juniors are hard working, look out for each other, and are kind souls. Plus, I get to mostly work from home.


I'm also very thankful for you lot. I don't have to many friends left, and I'm very lucky to have made some close ones here (even if not geographically)

Peace, love, and happiest of holidays to you all!

,
Potato

I don't feel right complaining because, to be perfectly honest, in-spite of any personal issues I've had, I lead a relatively easy life right now. I don't see my life being "easy" in the coming years, although hopefully more personally fulfilling. The things I could complain about are all in some way or another tied to personal choices I've made or not made. I guess as a general complaint, I can say that I feel like I let the latter portion of my 20s (2019-now) pass by being stuck in my own head and not just...being. I hate how the years since COVID have all sort of melted together in some strange Twilight Zone period of existence. That leads me to what I am grateful for:

-I feel like this is the first year where I have fully had to look at myself playing an active role in my own unhappiness, and fully accept that I must play an active role in my own happiness. It is up to me to form and seek out activities and relationships that enrich my life and personal well-being.

-Bouncing off of the top point, I've managed to form some relationships in my personal life that have enriched me.

-I'm learning to be more compassionate toward myself (and thus others), looking honestly at my flaws, but also at my strengths, and am making active an active decision to be OK with the person I see reflected in the mirror.

-I've had positive interactions on UMD with some of my favorite producers. I feel like I have become more personally accepting of my own fetish to where I don't feel a sense of shame when in the presence of anyone else (albeit no one in my personal life knows about it, and I don't create fetish content, but still). I feel like I can more healthily reconcile this part of myself with the rest of me.

-In general, making some personal decisions in all areas of my life in the final months of the year that should lead to a more fulfilling/challenging 2023.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about all the crap everyone's got to deal with, but very happy to hear we all have bright sides!!!

I feel like clinicals are a hospital slave labor scam. I want to be fucking paid to work for all the old people that sit on their asses already!

The father of my kiddo and I can't get along and he's become a border line stalker and shows up on the VERY SELDOM occasions I go anywhere fun with friends. I've realized that I fell for every lie about his ex and the excuses why he didnt much time with his first child. Makes me feel like a fucking moron. It also sucks to have fear he will screw my beautiful son up! Agh!!!! Whew.

I've started having loads of fun building things! Raised garden beds, chicken coops, amazing marble tracks! I own my own power tools people!!!! Yay!

Schools almost done and I'll have a real job and will be able to afford to do things like visit Candy Custard!!!!

My family and friends are awesome! I really think I'm lucky beyond belief to have the people I have in my life!

Definitely grateful for the personal healing and growth I've been experiencing this year.

and because he'd be pissed if I didn't say him my chihuahua Frank Rizzo is the best.

I am sorry you are going through this. I watched my sister go through something similar with her kids. It is so hard when all the other kids growing up do the father and son thing, but you don't have one. It put so much pressure on her to be twice the person. She raised some great kids. It was rough and having a support system is a must. I know it was worth it to her. I am not sure if it will be any consolation, but her ex was only a pain in the ass for the first few years after they split. Haven't heard or seen him since.

Ok, here goes:

I lost the job, through no fault of my own, that I've had for 16 years. It was hard for a really long time, had a flat out abusive manager, who got canned like homegrown tomatoes a few years ago because they misued the company card. Not happy that it happened that way, but I wanted the behavior to stop. How that comes about is none of my concern. Since the pandemic, I've been working remotely. Same pay and save over 200 on gas a month? Yes, please. That was when gas was about $2.50 a gallon. I wouldn't have been able to afford going into the office this year. But, all good things...

Job Searches fucking suck big floppy donkey dick. Nuff said.

The job I took is overnight. I don't necessarily have a problem with that, aside from my normal sleep time is when I normally film. I HAVE TO be in the position for at least 6 months before I can be considered to move to another shift.

As part of the layoff, I can qualify for a transition bonus. Why the ? Because I have to stay until the end to get the bonus. It's too big to pass up. So, I requested going part time. After no response, I submitted my resignation, and got a response in 2 hours, because I'm the only one who knows how to do my job. As such, I've been working 55 hours a week since October and running Splatter Island. It sucks, but it's almost over.

If I were to transfer to a non-overnight position, my pay would drop. I'm already flying on a wing and a prayer. Also, I'm kinda worried about moving to a public-facing job. I'm afraid I'll be recognized. I don't work at a high security thing, but I live in red territory. My previous job was at the end of a phone, and my current job only has possible public interactions for 2 hours. One at the beginning and one at the end of the shift.

It feels like I'm complaining too much about the one job. It was a huge part of my life. Let's look on the bright side.

Right before the layoff was announced, I took a trip to see my family. First time I've seen my mom in a couple of years, since I brought her up here for her 60th birthday in 2019. I also got to see my paternal aunt. We caught up, as much as we could in one night. And the great thing about working remotely is it doesn't matter where you are when you're remotely working. So it was a workation for me.

Back in 2019, I took out a second mortgage. It was scheduled to be paid off in 20 years. I paid it off last month. It took damn near every penny I had, and I had to raid the PieRSquared piggy bank, but now that's one less bill to worry about. The math wouldn't have worked without it.

Since I've been at my previous job for so long, I was getting PTO hand over fist. For a while, I was taking ever other Monday off just to stop accruing PTO so I don't max out. When the layoff was announced, I stopped. And all that PTO cashed out this week for about 5 weeks of FT pay, in addition to the transition. This is important to me, because I'm pretty sure for the next while, I'll just be coasting on those bonuses.

I was laid off because my job was acquired, with several other companies. And they are wanting to merge everything together by the end of the year. It looks like it's going to start off as a clusterfuck. It's been said clusterfuck for the past couple of weeks as the systems switch over. But it won't be my clusterfuck. Whatever happens after the stroke of midnight on January 1 will be precisely 0 of my concern. I feel like I'm walking bravely away from an explosion.

I've been fucking around successfully in Splatter Island for 10 years. My 100th episode releases in a week, and my 10 year anniversary is in June. I've found out a lot. While I don't see myself doing this for 10 more years (I'm not getting any younger, and it's labor intensive), I do hope I get some more good time in and out of it. I'm still a nervous wreck when it's time to actually shoot.

Positive interactions with my fans. This is one of the few times I've felt like I'm making a tangible, positive impact. It's been great on my mental health. When I first started, I wasn't even confident enough to contact the models directly, I needed assistance with that. But now, I'm confident enough to manage recruiting and re-inviting models. Also, before Splatter Island, I felt like I could disappear and no one would notice. Not quite s****de ideation, but more just wander off and be forgotten about.

Sorry about your dad my friends friend got bone cancer two weeks ago I'm thinking of donating more bone marrow but I'm afraid of needs and saws and blood especially my blood. But I love the guy so will probably head into help sooner than later.

I've come to appreciate life as I deal with death oddly lost a friend named Joshua two weeks ago. Went on a 9 mile hike today to clear my head almost broke down a few times but dog is staying with me now to keep me balanced in the face of everything.

A poem I've been reading

Samurai Song
BY ROBERT PINSKY
When I had no roof I made
Audacity my roof. When I had
No supper my eyes dined.

When I had no eyes I listened.
When I had no ears I thought.
When I had no thought I waited.

When I had no father I made
Care my father. When I had
No mother I embraced order.

When I had no friend I made
Quiet my friend. When I had no
Enemy I opposed my body.

When I had no temple I made
My voice my temple. I have
No priest, my tongue is my choir.

When I have no means fortune
Is my means. When I have
Nothing, death will be my fortune.

Need is my tactic, detachment
Is my strategy. When I had
No lover I courted my sleep.

Thinking of starting exploring videos and making them with music i experience colors and states of emotions. Hoping to collaborate with more people in person and online.

I've come to not take anything or anyone for granted anymore but still a part of me wonders if I'm giving enough back.

In reply to everyone else, hate the shittiness of life! I also hate clichés like "Keep your head up!" and "Everything's gonna be okay!" Some people find comfort in that kind of stuff (and if you do, no shame, I'm a little less optimistic), I'd rather have negative positivity. Stuff like "Hey, look on the bright side, there's no where but up from a canyon in hell." and "Learn to drown before you learn to swim." Those two quotes bring me comfort in a weird slightly twisted way.

Anywyays.

Dad tried to and nearly killed himself this year.
They hired the most incompetent and lazy person at work and he gets away with a ridiculous amount of nonsense and unfathomably still has a job. I could write pages and pages about his offenses, but I'll limit myself to this: He's terrible.
My hair is slowly starting to thin.
For the first time ever, this year I tapped out during a tattoo and had to stop before the tattoo was done.


My immediate Family, they're the only ones physically there to hang out with me. My Dad has moved back from Florida to be around us and seems to be in a much better place than he was.
Being able to listen to music at work.
Overall I'm feeling pretty good physically, still have some obnoxious pains, but I'm not completely worn down and falling apart from work like I was in the past.
Availability of so many movies and shows to escape with.
The fact that so many people are out there getting messy and documenting it for us to see.

Sounds like lots of people are going through a lot of things, so I wish people all the best in working through whatever they have going on. I probably don't have that much to complain about so I'm going to stay fairly generic on that part.

Time - I seem to not have enough of it to do the things I want to do, only the things I need to do. Need more messy time.
Illness - Think I've had 7 or 8 separate colds or bugs this year, including one currently. It's got in the way of a lot of fun things.

Being in an awesome relationship. After the last couple of years not being able to do anything, this year we've really started exploring and had many amazing experiences as a result.
Making more mess the second half of this year than in the previous 10 years combined. As part of said exploration, we decided we were going to head to a splunch, mentioned we'd filmed some personal stuff, gained the confidence to put it out there and haven't looked back. I'm really enjoying what we're getting up to and learning loads about filming and editing.
New toys - bought myself a decent 4k camcorder, upgraded our lighting and got some more backgrounds since out last scene, so really looking forward to filming our next session.
Your Spotless Sploshing website - I pick off another page every now and then and end up with even more ideas. I now know why our porridge took days to thicken. I've also got some different pie recipes to try out as personally I'm not a fan of shaving foam. Partly because of my skin being pretty sensitive but also after reading your comments about using them whilst bound (OH loves being bound). I'm pretty certain we'll need some cleaning advice off of there at some point too.

So sorry to hear about your dad, having a close member of family fall unwell will weigh heavily on everyone's shoulders. Hopefully he pulls through and wins his battle against cancer- if you want to pass a message on you can tell him that I wish him a speedy recovery, we're all cheering for him and looking forward together.

Last year I drove my dad back from the hospital just in time for Christmas- he was in the ICU for 3 weeks, then a few more weeks on regular ward. At times it was very touch and go if he'd make it (he bounced back and made a full recovery), with quarantine rules I was the only one able to visit and only able to see him for 2 hours each day- used my phone a lot to video-call the rest of the family and keep him in contact. And telling all his mates to text in really helped keep him going.

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My current gripe- not enough hours in the day or days in the week. The number of hours I need to keep on top of everything exceeds the number of hours I have available to do it in and the Christmas break is far too short to catch up and get some much needed R'n'R before I'm back in the daily grind.

On the flip side I'm very grateful for such a large and wonderful family who I just spent a chaotic and fun-filled Christmas with.
I have the most wonderfully amazing partner, we marked our first anniversary back in November and are looking forward to many happy years together.
I have a stable job with plenty of work going within the company, brilliantly funny workmates who I've became close friends with, and full use of the workshop out of hours for my personal projects.

Thank you so much, I'm glad it's been useful as that's my entire purpose in life at the moment and writing them is a really good distraction from everything

And yeah any pies other than shaving cream *should* be ok while bound as the weight will make them fall off of their own accord. It's ok not to like foam, it's a pretty specific taste (and not tasty in the mouth) definitely not for everyone.

Excellent to hear about your great relationship and filming adventures too

Candy you have been an inspiration to many on this forum, including handing out advice to others. Thank you for that. Be assured that whilst nothing we can do will be of material help in your situation, our good wishes go with you. Remember that.