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"New Story! Pies! Banter! Pies!"
Love you, too
pieme said: I had to do this years ago for a lost bet and loved it! I found it exciting and humiliating all at once thanks to my ex GF . I had to do this in the winter months, don't try it in summer you might just sweat to death. I was awarded with a butt intruding device and ball strap by my loving X, then put into the sauna suit, the cuffs were securely duct taped so no to leak. she smashed my chest with a pie and by back with another, my ass and crotch got the same treatment then the top was tucked firmly into the pants. then 2 pairs of slouch socks for the pant legs to tuck into, she then slipped me into a set of her favorite pink sweats and ugg knock off boots, being it was October she slapped a wig and pink beanie hat and some pink rimmed glasses on me to finish the look. We then set off to the mall, in the car no less and it was only 5 blocks away, I thought for sure the seats would get trashed but not a drop. We walked the whole mall to complete my humiliation, actually I did not get the looks and pointing she had hoped for only a few giggles and some laughter to my outfit, what was really amazing was the feeling of pie covering my body as I walked around in public and no one knew the wiser, nothing leaking out still! when no one was looking she would grab crotch and rub it just to keep me on edge. she even took me into Victoria secret and made me hold up bras and stuff to see if any of the girls would ask questions, nothing but giggles. I could feel pie squishing into every inch of my body as she paraded me around the mall. next was Macys for her to try on several pairs of boots that she made me bend down and put on her, of course she took adv and rubbed each boot on my crotch for good measure, one girl did say I wish I had a bitch like that and laughed as she walked by. she said she would make me sit at the makeup counter and have me made up but the girl was to busy, thank god! She was not happy that I did not get all the attention she thought I would so we proceeded to the car, nothing leaked out of the suit I was amazed, still looking clean as a whistle on the outside, as we got to the car she stopped me at the door and led me to the truck, opened it and said to me, this will be your final stage of humiliation, She pulled out a Sam's club size container of molasses pulled back the elastic collar and dumped it into my inside the suit front and back. This felt even more amazing, got me even more exited and hard. she made me remove my boots and they got some treatment as well. After slipping them back on they began to show wet spots, it was so sticky and slimy all at once.I quickly said well now what? do you have towels for your car? She said nope don't need em. you are walking home mister! but not without these, she pulled out 2 more Banana cream pies pulled off my hat and smashed one over my head and made it a pie hat, the other was carefully smeared into my face and chest. Now off you go. you better be wearing that new hat when you get home too! she laughed. Nice betting with you baby! see you at home. I just froze stood there in amazement and had an orgasm as she drove away.
pieme, these "past incidents" you post (including recently on a thread asking about people's real-life experiences of getting caught) are very obviously not true - if you're going to write elaborate sexual fantasies, just use the stories function like the original poster!
tatabanyan said:
pieme, these "past incidents" you post (including recently on a thread asking about people's real-life experiences of getting caught) are very obviously not true - if you're going to write elaborate sexual fantasies, just use the stories function like the original poster!
pieme said: I had to do this years ago for a lost bet and loved it! I found it exciting and humiliating all at once thanks to my ex GF . I had to do this in the winter months, don't try it in summer you might just sweat to death. I was awarded with a butt intruding device and ball strap by my loving X, then put into the sauna suit, the cuffs were securely duct taped so no to leak. she smashed my chest with a pie and by back with another, my ass and crotch got the same treatment then the top was tucked firmly into the pants. then 2 pairs of slouch socks for the pant legs to tuck into, she then slipped me into a set of her favorite pink sweats and ugg knock off boots, being it was October she slapped a wig and pink beanie hat and some pink rimmed glasses on me to finish the look. We then set off to the mall, in the car no less and it was only 5 blocks away, I thought for sure the seats would get trashed but not a drop. We walked the whole mall to complete my humiliation, actually I did not get the looks and pointing she had hoped for only a few giggles and some laughter to my outfit, what was really amazing was the feeling of pie covering my body as I walked around in public and no one knew the wiser, nothing leaking out still! when no one was looking she would grab crotch and rub it just to keep me on edge. she even took me into Victoria secret and made me hold up bras and stuff to see if any of the girls would ask questions, nothing but giggles. I could feel pie squishing into every inch of my body as she paraded me around the mall. next was Macys for her to try on several pairs of boots that she made me bend down and put on her, of course she took adv and rubbed each boot on my crotch for good measure, one girl did say I wish I had a bitch like that and laughed as she walked by. she said she would make me sit at the makeup counter and have me made up but the girl was to busy, thank god! She was not happy that I did not get all the attention she thought I would so we proceeded to the car, nothing leaked out of the suit I was amazed, still looking clean as a whistle on the outside, as we got to the car she stopped me at the door and led me to the truck, opened it and said to me, this will be your final stage of humiliation, She pulled out a Sam's club size container of molasses pulled back the elastic collar and dumped it into my inside the suit front and back. This felt even more amazing, got me even more exited and hard. she made me remove my boots and they got some treatment as well. After slipping them back on they began to show wet spots, it was so sticky and slimy all at once.I quickly said well now what? do you have towels for your car? She said nope don't need em. you are walking home mister! but not without these, she pulled out 2 more Banana cream pies pulled off my hat and smashed one over my head and made it a pie hat, the other was carefully smeared into my face and chest. Now off you go. you better be wearing that new hat when you get home too! she laughed. Nice betting with you baby! see you at home. I just froze stood there in amazement and had an orgasm as she drove away.
pieme, these "past incidents" you post (including recently on a thread asking about people's real-life experiences of getting caught) are very obviously not true - if you're going to write elaborate sexual fantasies, just use the stories function like the original poster!
I HAVE A NAME YOU KNOW.
But seriously, I'd be happy with some whitespace and some punctuation. And, some inkling of a connection to my OP?
PieWriter, that was beyond cute and you created some memorable characters for that story! That said, I'm sorry your story announcement thread got hijacked this way, but I've got to call someone out.
Pieme...even if only a fraction of those events in your post actually happened and weren't pure fantasy, you just *bragged* about how you and your ex sexually harassed the hell out of a bunch of mall workers when they were just trying to make a living in a tough retail environment. You made them the unwilling participants in your fantasy and they were probably scared to lose their jobs if they complained about your behavior.
That shoe salesperson who watched your ex rub a few pairs of women's boots into your crotch, after your ex had stroked you to an obvious state of erection? She was somebody's daughter or sister or wife or mother and she no doubt had exactly one plan when she left for work that morning: to sell shoes on commission, not to put herself out there for your personal wankfest. What you put her through was degrading and gross, man.
There's another thread in this forum about harassment and in that one we quite fairly condemned the guy who's been relentlessy messaging celebrities and random YouTube females asking them to get messy. With posts like yours, you're hardly helping the cause either.
Pieme...even if only a fraction of those events in your post actually happened and weren't pure fantasy, you just *bragged* about how you and your ex sexually harassed the hell out of a bunch of mall workers when they were just trying to make a living in a tough retail environment. You made them the unwilling participants in your fantasy and they were probably scared to lose their jobs if they complained about your behavior.
That shoe salesperson who watched your ex rub a few pairs of women's boots into your crotch, after your ex had stroked you to an obvious state of erection? She was somebody's daughter or sister or wife or mother and she no doubt had exactly one plan when she left for work that morning: to sell shoes on commission, not to put herself out there for your personal wankfest. What you put her through was degrading and gross, man.
There's another thread in this forum about harassment and in that one we quite fairly condemned the guy who's been relentlessy messaging celebrities and random YouTube females asking them to get messy. With posts like yours, you're hardly helping the cause either.
Throw pies not shade!
Pie Writer your stories are always great, this one is no different! I really enjoyed it!!!
There is no way for anyone to validate the truth of the story by pieme. But let's get serious folks, we are a bunch of avatars and invented code names behind a screen. We are no more real than pieme's stories.
There is no way for anyone to validate the truth of the story by pieme. But let's get serious folks, we are a bunch of avatars and invented code names behind a screen. We are no more real than pieme's stories.
writingismylife said: PieWriter, that was beyond cute and you created some memorable characters for that story! That said, I'm sorry your story announcement thread got hijacked this way, but I've got to call someone out.
Pieme...even if only a fraction of those events in your post actually happened and weren't pure fantasy, you just *bragged* about how you and your ex sexually harassed the hell out of a bunch of mall workers when they were just trying to make a living in a tough retail environment. You made them the unwilling participants in your fantasy and they were probably scared to lose their jobs if they complained about your behavior.
That shoe salesperson who watched your ex rub a few pairs of women's boots into your crotch, after your ex had stroked you to an obvious state of erection? She was somebody's daughter or sister or wife or mother and she no doubt had exactly one plan when she left for work that morning: to sell shoes on commission, not to put herself out there for your personal wankfest. What you put her through was degrading and gross, man.
There's another thread in this forum about harassment and in that one we quite fairly condemned the guy who's been relentlessy messaging celebrities and random YouTube females asking them to get messy. With posts like yours, you're hardly helping the cause either.
Pieme...even if only a fraction of those events in your post actually happened and weren't pure fantasy, you just *bragged* about how you and your ex sexually harassed the hell out of a bunch of mall workers when they were just trying to make a living in a tough retail environment. You made them the unwilling participants in your fantasy and they were probably scared to lose their jobs if they complained about your behavior.
That shoe salesperson who watched your ex rub a few pairs of women's boots into your crotch, after your ex had stroked you to an obvious state of erection? She was somebody's daughter or sister or wife or mother and she no doubt had exactly one plan when she left for work that morning: to sell shoes on commission, not to put herself out there for your personal wankfest. What you put her through was degrading and gross, man.
There's another thread in this forum about harassment and in that one we quite fairly condemned the guy who's been relentlessy messaging celebrities and random YouTube females asking them to get messy. With posts like yours, you're hardly helping the cause either.
Thanks!
And, thank you very much for this post. I'm ashamed I didn't write it, and instead wrote a snarky put-down in response. You nailed it.
dalamar666 said: Pie Writer your stories are always great, this one is no different! I really enjoyed it!!!
There is no way for anyone to validate the truth of the story by pieme. But let's get serious folks, we are a bunch of avatars and invented code names behind a screen. We are no more real than pieme's stories.
There is no way for anyone to validate the truth of the story by pieme. But let's get serious folks, we are a bunch of avatars and invented code names behind a screen. We are no more real than pieme's stories.
Thanks!
And -- we're very real. To say otherwise dehumanizes us all. Some of us may be anonymous or pseudonymous here, but we're real.
Anyway, this isn't the place to post stories, as was pointed out. The "Stories" section is the place to post stories, whether bull-stories or fiction.
That said, I'm still bothered by the non-consensual nature of the content of that endless run-on-sentence up there.
See, personally I don't see an issue with announcing a story here. It is just like MG posting about the new comic scenes and soaking Jo posting the second life update things. They like the other stuff in this section is art. It is not like you posted a whole story here or anything. You made a simple announcement.
dalamar666 said: See, personally I don't see an issue with announcing a story here. It is just like MG posting about the new comic scenes and soaking Jo posting the second life update things. They like the other stuff in this section is art. It is not like you posted a whole story here or anything. You made a simple announcement.
IMHO, there's a significant difference between announcing a story, as I did with a link, and posting a new story as a reply to an announcement. I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about the screed up there (points up) in the comments to my announcement. If someone else has a story, and wants to interject ("Oh yeah? Well this one time at band camp..."), then by all means create a story post, and link to it here. But that's still rude, IMO -- why not create a new thread in the forum? I mean, you don't see me posting my announcement in someone else's new post, now, do you?
This sounds harsher than I intend it to, mainly because I just got my first coffee of the day. All good here! And I say all of this in excellent spirit and respect!
writingismylife said: PieWriter, as a WAM fiction writer myself, I apologize once again for what happened to your thread. The story you wrote was seriously fantastic and it was an excellent contribution to this forum. To those reading this thread, it's highly recommended reading if you haven't already done so!
That said, Pieme, I can't and won't step down from this. It was made really clear in the harassment thread that pulling unwilling participants into a fetish is not cool. *Fictional* stories like PieWriter posted are fine and healthful, but you bragged about actually harassing retail workers while you were horny, aroused or what-have-you. And thankfully I was NOT the only one who called you out on your behavior. Thanks to the guys who had my back on this one.
Again, I may be a relatively new account holder on UMD but I've visited the site since my college days, roughly 2000ish. I firmly believe that newcomers to this site should not be faced with "stories" bragging about some guy showing up messy at a shopping mall and harassing the hell outta retail workers and getting the impression that the rest of us are passing that off as somehow okay. The stories should be clearly labeled as fictional. I appreciate your decision to delete your story post.
This is gonna get really personal, but I was a young twentysomething when I was walking to my bus stop after dark and after a long day at work, and two incredibly drunk guys cornered me in a Pgh city park, apparently because I had long hair. The one guy begged to let his friend touch my hair for "just a minute" and then asked me to give him "just a strand of it."
I literally backpedaled off the bench I was sitting on and told them I was aware that fetish existed but I was NOT down with it and I had to put my fists in the air to show them I meant business. They scrammed, but did I go home and laugh it off? No, I was shaken up. Ask yourself if the workers you harassed fared any better.
And I'll take a raincheck on your offer of a box of crayons and a puppy because "I'm too sensitive," "pal." You have an obvious VS fetish and ironically I worked for that chain back in the day, an ill fit if there ever was one. I became the unofficial bouncer for my store and if I had a dime for every guy I marched to the door because he creeped out one of my 18yo coworkers, I'd be rich. I'll also say that the vast majority of our customers, just like members of UMD, were actually really cool. It only takes a few bad apples, though, so maybe think about it?
That said, Pieme, I can't and won't step down from this. It was made really clear in the harassment thread that pulling unwilling participants into a fetish is not cool. *Fictional* stories like PieWriter posted are fine and healthful, but you bragged about actually harassing retail workers while you were horny, aroused or what-have-you. And thankfully I was NOT the only one who called you out on your behavior. Thanks to the guys who had my back on this one.
Again, I may be a relatively new account holder on UMD but I've visited the site since my college days, roughly 2000ish. I firmly believe that newcomers to this site should not be faced with "stories" bragging about some guy showing up messy at a shopping mall and harassing the hell outta retail workers and getting the impression that the rest of us are passing that off as somehow okay. The stories should be clearly labeled as fictional. I appreciate your decision to delete your story post.
This is gonna get really personal, but I was a young twentysomething when I was walking to my bus stop after dark and after a long day at work, and two incredibly drunk guys cornered me in a Pgh city park, apparently because I had long hair. The one guy begged to let his friend touch my hair for "just a minute" and then asked me to give him "just a strand of it."
I literally backpedaled off the bench I was sitting on and told them I was aware that fetish existed but I was NOT down with it and I had to put my fists in the air to show them I meant business. They scrammed, but did I go home and laugh it off? No, I was shaken up. Ask yourself if the workers you harassed fared any better.
And I'll take a raincheck on your offer of a box of crayons and a puppy because "I'm too sensitive," "pal." You have an obvious VS fetish and ironically I worked for that chain back in the day, an ill fit if there ever was one. I became the unofficial bouncer for my store and if I had a dime for every guy I marched to the door because he creeped out one of my 18yo coworkers, I'd be rich. I'll also say that the vast majority of our customers, just like members of UMD, were actually really cool. It only takes a few bad apples, though, so maybe think about it?
Seconding this... added to which, pieme is also posting weird fantasies on discussion/advice threads that are supposed to be about people's real-life experiences. Stop hijacking threads.
Pie Writer, I'll see if I can help you out with a few bits and pieces. I've tinkered four short paragraphs for you, take a look and see what you think. See below.
"Thanks!", I said. She looked up at me, again, and said, "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun, and that's so sexy, fun I mean. And I think you're really cute when you smile after you get pied."
I nodded, "Thanks again! It is fun, and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face. I like that!"
"Oh yeah, cute.", she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?", she asked.
"Yep", I said, "that's how we make them so big."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thanks!" I said. She looked up at me again. "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun and that's so sexy, fun I mean. I think you're really cute when you smile after being pied."
I nodded, "thanks again! It's fun and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face."
"Oh yeah, cute," she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?" she added.
"Yep I said, 'that's how we make them so big."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've tinkered round with your punctuation for you. Stuff is a nightmare for any writer/author! Have a look and see what you think? There's a big clash about using the word 'and' while denoting a comma in front of it. US writing gets away with it, UK authors get frowned upon.
When I started, I put comma's all over the place! Hate the bleedin' things!
The story is good, I've read it in full and enjoyed it. Can I ask a question. Did you type it straight on the system? Keep it at, most of all have fun. Feel free to PM if you want to ask any questions.
regards
Andy and the team.
*Edit! I actually missed a comma out?!? Typical!* **Second edit two hours later as another comma was missing! Tut!**
"Thanks!", I said. She looked up at me, again, and said, "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun, and that's so sexy, fun I mean. And I think you're really cute when you smile after you get pied."
I nodded, "Thanks again! It is fun, and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face. I like that!"
"Oh yeah, cute.", she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?", she asked.
"Yep", I said, "that's how we make them so big."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thanks!" I said. She looked up at me again. "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun and that's so sexy, fun I mean. I think you're really cute when you smile after being pied."
I nodded, "thanks again! It's fun and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face."
"Oh yeah, cute," she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?" she added.
"Yep I said, 'that's how we make them so big."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've tinkered round with your punctuation for you. Stuff is a nightmare for any writer/author! Have a look and see what you think? There's a big clash about using the word 'and' while denoting a comma in front of it. US writing gets away with it, UK authors get frowned upon.
When I started, I put comma's all over the place! Hate the bleedin' things!
The story is good, I've read it in full and enjoyed it. Can I ask a question. Did you type it straight on the system? Keep it at, most of all have fun. Feel free to PM if you want to ask any questions.
regards
Andy and the team.
*Edit! I actually missed a comma out?!? Typical!* **Second edit two hours later as another comma was missing! Tut!**
writingismylife said: PieWriter, as a WAM fiction writer myself, I apologize once again for what happened to your thread. The story you wrote was seriously fantastic and it was an excellent contribution to this forum. To those reading this thread, it's highly recommended reading if you haven't already done so!
That said, Pieme, I can't and won't step down from this. It was made really clear in the harassment thread that pulling unwilling participants into a fetish is not cool. *Fictional* stories like PieWriter posted are fine and healthful, but you bragged about actually harassing retail workers while you were horny, aroused or what-have-you. And thankfully I was NOT the only one who called you out on your behavior. Thanks to the guys who had my back on this one.
Again, I may be a relatively new account holder on UMD but I've visited the site since my college days, roughly 2000ish. I firmly believe that newcomers to this site should not be faced with "stories" bragging about some guy showing up messy at a shopping mall and harassing the hell outta retail workers and getting the impression that the rest of us are passing that off as somehow okay. The stories should be clearly labeled as fictional. I appreciate your decision to delete your story post.
This is gonna get really personal, but I was a young twentysomething when I was walking to my bus stop after dark and after a long day at work, and two incredibly drunk guys cornered me in a Pgh city park, apparently because I had long hair. The one guy begged to let his friend touch my hair for "just a minute" and then asked me to give him "just a strand of it."
I literally backpedaled off the bench I was sitting on and told them I was aware that fetish existed but I was NOT down with it and I had to put my fists in the air to show them I meant business. They scrammed, but did I go home and laugh it off? No, I was shaken up. Ask yourself if the workers you harassed fared any better.
And I'll take a raincheck on your offer of a box of crayons and a puppy because "I'm too sensitive," "pal." You have an obvious VS fetish and ironically I worked for that chain back in the day, an ill fit if there ever was one. I became the unofficial bouncer for my store and if I had a dime for every guy I marched to the door because he creeped out one of my 18yo coworkers, I'd be rich. I'll also say that the vast majority of our customers, just like members of UMD, were actually really cool. It only takes a few bad apples, though, so maybe think about it?
That said, Pieme, I can't and won't step down from this. It was made really clear in the harassment thread that pulling unwilling participants into a fetish is not cool. *Fictional* stories like PieWriter posted are fine and healthful, but you bragged about actually harassing retail workers while you were horny, aroused or what-have-you. And thankfully I was NOT the only one who called you out on your behavior. Thanks to the guys who had my back on this one.
Again, I may be a relatively new account holder on UMD but I've visited the site since my college days, roughly 2000ish. I firmly believe that newcomers to this site should not be faced with "stories" bragging about some guy showing up messy at a shopping mall and harassing the hell outta retail workers and getting the impression that the rest of us are passing that off as somehow okay. The stories should be clearly labeled as fictional. I appreciate your decision to delete your story post.
This is gonna get really personal, but I was a young twentysomething when I was walking to my bus stop after dark and after a long day at work, and two incredibly drunk guys cornered me in a Pgh city park, apparently because I had long hair. The one guy begged to let his friend touch my hair for "just a minute" and then asked me to give him "just a strand of it."
I literally backpedaled off the bench I was sitting on and told them I was aware that fetish existed but I was NOT down with it and I had to put my fists in the air to show them I meant business. They scrammed, but did I go home and laugh it off? No, I was shaken up. Ask yourself if the workers you harassed fared any better.
And I'll take a raincheck on your offer of a box of crayons and a puppy because "I'm too sensitive," "pal." You have an obvious VS fetish and ironically I worked for that chain back in the day, an ill fit if there ever was one. I became the unofficial bouncer for my store and if I had a dime for every guy I marched to the door because he creeped out one of my 18yo coworkers, I'd be rich. I'll also say that the vast majority of our customers, just like members of UMD, were actually really cool. It only takes a few bad apples, though, so maybe think about it?
Thank you for this.
I know there's an overlap between "WAM" fetish and the "Humiliate someone without their consent" fetish, and I think it's time that this was separated, with warnings applied to the subject line. Personally, I'm against any posts that are based in non-consensual acts. I'm of the strong opinion that all sex, fetish-based or not, must be consensual, and that includes subjecting others to exhibitionist play without their consent.
Here's a true story. A real, yes-it-happened true story, to complement WimL's:
Way back when, I worked in a mall. It was always crowded on weekends, and the bookstore in which I worked was across from a fashion clothing line for 20somethings.
One day, between the stores, an attractive young woman was suddenly pied by her friends. Two pies that also splattered on innocent bystanders who were very not-pleased. One of her "friends" proceeded to plunge his hand down her shirt to smear the pie around, at which she shrieked a loud and high pitched "NO!". The other friend dumped his soft-serve ice cream down her shirt, to more ear-piercing screams. We all froze in place - it was stunningly horrible. She started yelling at these two morons with language that'd make a dockworker blush. They laughed and grinned, and she was visibly angry and uncomfortable. Almost all of us witnessing this froze-in-place. The manager of the clothing store came to this girl's rescue and escorted her the back of the store. The two young men were escorted by security to the back office, and as I heard later, to the back of a police car.
Nothing about this scene was arousing. It was awful, and all of us who witnessed it were unamused, and more than a few were very uncomfortable.
Is this WAM? I don't think so, I think it's assault on the unwilling and unconsenting "victim" as well as on the bystanders who had their day (and in some cases clothes) ruined.
Any fetish- fantasy that incorporates non-consensual acts, in group that's not focused on such (as in this thread), is in fact also getting off on violating the consent of the readers (in this case, us).
123gunge said: Pie Writer, I'll see if I can help you out with a few bits and pieces. I've tinkered four short paragraphs for you, take a look and see what you think. See below.
"Thanks!", I said. She looked up at me, again, and said, "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun, and that's so sexy, fun I mean. And I think you're really cute when you smile after you get pied."
I nodded, "Thanks again! It is fun, and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face. I like that!"
"Oh yeah, cute.", she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?", she asked.
"Yep", I said, "that's how we make them so big."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thanks!" I said. She looked up at me again. "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun and that's so sexy, fun I mean. I think you're really cute when you smile after being pied."
I nodded, "thanks again! It's fun and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face."
"Oh yeah, cute," she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?" she added.
"Yep I said, 'that's how we make them so big."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've tinkered round with your punctuation for you. Stuff is a nightmare for any writer/author! Have a look and see what you think? There's a big clash about using the word 'and' while denoting a comma in front of it. US writing gets away with it, UK authors get frowned upon.
When I started, I put comma's all over the place! Hate the bleedin' things!
The story is good I've read it in full and enjoyed it. Can I ask a question. Did you type it straight on the system? Keep it at, most of all have fun. Feel free to PM if you want to ask any questions.
regards
Andy and the team.
*Edit! I actually missed a comma out?!? Typical!*
"Thanks!", I said. She looked up at me, again, and said, "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun, and that's so sexy, fun I mean. And I think you're really cute when you smile after you get pied."
I nodded, "Thanks again! It is fun, and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face. I like that!"
"Oh yeah, cute.", she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?", she asked.
"Yep", I said, "that's how we make them so big."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Thanks!" I said. She looked up at me again. "I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it's so fun and that's so sexy, fun I mean. I think you're really cute when you smile after being pied."
I nodded, "thanks again! It's fun and I'm glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I'm cute after a pie in the face."
"Oh yeah, cute," she nodded back. "So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?" she added.
"Yep I said, 'that's how we make them so big."
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I've tinkered round with your punctuation for you. Stuff is a nightmare for any writer/author! Have a look and see what you think? There's a big clash about using the word 'and' while denoting a comma in front of it. US writing gets away with it, UK authors get frowned upon.
When I started, I put comma's all over the place! Hate the bleedin' things!
The story is good I've read it in full and enjoyed it. Can I ask a question. Did you type it straight on the system? Keep it at, most of all have fun. Feel free to PM if you want to ask any questions.
regards
Andy and the team.
*Edit! I actually missed a comma out?!? Typical!*
A Copy-Editor! Thanks! I'm sorely in need of one, or a good re-re-re-read of Elements of Style again. I can never remember this stuff, as I'm not a writer by trade, just by avocation.
I typed it into Wordpress, and then copy&pasted it to UMD Blogs.
Hey, feel free to edit the piece, and I'll re-post it! I can only pay you in virtual cheers, alas, as this is all a work of love.
writingismylife said: PieWriter, as a WAM fiction writer myself, I apologize once again for what happened to your thread. The story you wrote was seriously fantastic and it was an excellent contribution to this forum. To those reading this thread, it's highly recommended reading if you haven't already done so!
Thank you very much! It means a lot to me, coming from another writer!
(bows)
Next time you're passing a book store, pop your head in and ask for a book called. 'On Writing.' By Stephen King, he wrote Christine, Tommy Knockers, etc,. In the back is a large section on editing and how to do it. Costs about $15 - $20 US, well worth a purchase if the opportunity arises. (A friend of mine bought at £15 UK money, which is probably over the odds, but I still think he gets ((as in we still use it)) value for money out of it. The number of times we have turned to that publication for guidance.)
It takes a long time to get good a writing, I should know - I'm still learning. But! Remember this... If you don't write it, you can't edit it or fix it. Thus people don't improve.
PM'd you on the Word press issue, you should have the answer to that now.
Have fun.
regards
Andy and the team.
It takes a long time to get good a writing, I should know - I'm still learning. But! Remember this... If you don't write it, you can't edit it or fix it. Thus people don't improve.
PM'd you on the Word press issue, you should have the answer to that now.
Have fun.
regards
Andy and the team.
123gunge said: Next time you're passing a book store, pop your head in and ask for a book called. 'On Writing.' By Stephen King, he wrote Christine, Tommy Knockers, etc,. In the back is a large section on editing and how to do it. Costs about $15 - $20 US, well worth a purchase if the opportunity arises. (A friend of mine bought at £15 UK money, which is probably over the odds, but I still think he gets ((as in we still use it)) value for money out of it. The number of times we have turned to that publication for guidance.)
It takes a long time to get good a writing, I should know - I'm still learning. But! Remember this... If you don't write it, you can't edit it or fix it. Thus people don't improve.
PM'd you on the Word press issue, you should have the answer to that now.
Have fun.
regards
Andy and the team.
It takes a long time to get good a writing, I should know - I'm still learning. But! Remember this... If you don't write it, you can't edit it or fix it. Thus people don't improve.
PM'd you on the Word press issue, you should have the answer to that now.
Have fun.
regards
Andy and the team.
Thanks. Own, it, read it; great book. Also "On Writing" by Brande, and others.
What I need to get into practice is the technique (Style guide stuff), you know.. where to put the period in a quote (inside or outsidet the " mark?), use of oxford commas, and so on. Stuff a copy editor would strangle me for!
Actually writing is easy. Writing WELL is hard
thanks again for the tips!
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