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"Lines before being pied in a pie fight"
Love you, too
"Let me have it!" (Referring to a pie, but in the sense of "hand it over")
"Now give me that pie!" (see above)
"I just want what's coming to me."
"I'm allergic to pastry, you know..."
"I think I'll try the banana cream today."
"Now give me that pie!" (see above)
"I just want what's coming to me."
"I'm allergic to pastry, you know..."
"I think I'll try the banana cream today."
Memories of messy pie fights with the sexy Sally, mmm...
"would you like a nice big creamy pie?"
"yes please, I would love one"
"I want that pie now"
"are you quite sure you really want it?"
"yes please, let me have it"
Splat!!!!
Pie slammed into the face of the sexy, busty brunette dressed in skin tight shiny disco pants, high heeled boots and tight short leather jacket!
"would you like a nice big creamy pie?"
"yes please, I would love one"
"I want that pie now"
"are you quite sure you really want it?"
"yes please, let me have it"
Splat!!!!
Pie slammed into the face of the sexy, busty brunette dressed in skin tight shiny disco pants, high heeled boots and tight short leather jacket!
The whole "You wouldn't, I would. You couldn't, I could. You shouldn't, I should. You didn't, I did." Is something I use as a saying in real life so I guess that would be me default fave.
My favorite has always been "You wouldn't DARE!"
Does this mean you're working on another awesome custom scene?
Does this mean you're working on another awesome custom scene?
NorthernWAM said: The whole "You wouldn't, I would. You couldn't, I could. You shouldn't, I should. You didn't, I did." Is something I use as a saying in real life so I guess that would be me default fave.
I think that line got used in the VERY first video SlapstickStuff ever released, back in... 2004?!?
I've used it enough since to where I probably owe the original Electric Company a few hundred grand in royalties if they ever wanted to collect. It's the slapstick equivalent of the "Funky Drummer" sample in the 80s.
(FBOW you can't find the original Electric Company skit online, at least to my knowledge.)
MessyMode257 said: My favorite has always been "You wouldn't DARE!"
Weirdly, I'm JUST now using this line.... in a brand-new skit I wrote which is coming out really soon.... which is extremely "meta" in how it approaches these very common lines. Basically you have an actress at an audition trying out for a role where she's on the receiving end of the pie after giving her line. But it allows the model to both "overact" (within the context of the skit) AND lets you hit the same gag numerous times, as the casting agent asks her to try it "different ways."
It's weird for me to get super-excited about a script I write 15 years into this, but.... I REALLY like this one. I can already tell the community will be getting variations on it for a while.
CASTING AGENT: Anyway, let's pick it up from where you start taunting the wife as she's standing near a tray full of pies.
MODEL: Of course she is. [overacting] You wouldn't dare!! [gets pied]
CA: Again, but even bigger!
M: [bigger] You wouldn't dare!!! [gets pied]
CA: Actually, I was talking to the prop guy. [yelling] Hey Carl, make the pies bigger!
M: [wiping eyes] Oh, you think you're funny, do ya?? [gets pied with a very large pie]
CA: Well done! Okay, now let's give you a pie so you can confront the wife with it.
M: Oh wow, so I get to be the one throwing the pies now?
CA: Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you?....
SStuff said:
I think that line got used in the VERY first video SlapstickStuff ever released, back in... 2004?!?
I've used it enough since to where I probably owe the original Electric Company a few hundred grand in royalties if they ever wanted to collect. It's the slapstick equivalent of the "Funky Drummer" sample in the 80s.
NorthernWAM said: The whole "You wouldn't, I would. You couldn't, I could. You shouldn't, I should. You didn't, I did." Is something I use as a saying in real life so I guess that would be me default fave.
I think that line got used in the VERY first video SlapstickStuff ever released, back in... 2004?!?
I've used it enough since to where I probably owe the original Electric Company a few hundred grand in royalties if they ever wanted to collect. It's the slapstick equivalent of the "Funky Drummer" sample in the 80s.
Somewhere near 50% of the many, many pie stories written by UMD member Piewriter (formerly known as Argus) over the years involve variations of that dialogue.
RE: The ubiquity of the "Funky Drummer" sample ... I'll always remember sitting in a Taco Bell in 1992 or 1993, realizing that the song playing as I ate my crappy tacos was actually Sinead O'Connor singing over the "Funky Drummer" breakbeat. This made me mutter to myself (quoting the spoken intro of another James Brown song recorded in 1969): "Fellas, things done got too far gone."
MessyMode257 said: My favorite has always been "You wouldn't DARE!"
Does this mean you're working on another awesome custom scene?
Does this mean you're working on another awesome custom scene?
I am ALWAYS working on a scene! LOL The last two I haven't posted though because they have yet to be released.
But that is not the reason for this post. I almost never give producers dialogue to say. I don't want it to sound canned. I want the dialogue to be impromptu. Its more natural and definitely funnier.
Original "You wouldn't" skit. You should know, though, that it is the guy who gets it.
https://youtu.be/KrUJPdaqCfM
https://youtu.be/KrUJPdaqCfM
Obviously, the Electric Company had about a 10-to-1 male-to-female pie ratio! Pretty sure Skip was pied more than all females combined.
You have other EC clips that are unlisted??
You have other EC clips that are unlisted??
moho said: I'd add a sentence for after the pie:
"I haaaaate pies!!!"
mmmmm
could you tell anything about the new customs!??!
"I haaaaate pies!!!"
mmmmm
could you tell anything about the new customs!??! Macy Nicole tries to break up an argument between Hannah Perez and Ashley Lane. And the other involves Cadence and Ashley Lane being unsuccessful in their attack on Hannah Perez.
No spit out though.
SStuff said: Obviously, the Electric Company had about a 10-to-1 male-to-female pie ratio! Pretty sure Skip was pied more than all females combined.
You have other EC clips that are unlisted??
You have other EC clips that are unlisted??
Probably not. I have the ones that have been making the rounds (from Hurley and WAMTEC) for a while. Rita pied in Cream Pie Maniac and the For skit. Judy being pied in the Nasty sketch, the Mean Betty Jean and Mechanical Clown skit. I do have a black and white one (poor quality) where Judy pies Skip at the breakfast table (I only save male pieings if the guy is pied by an attractive female). Some people may not have seen that one.
My WAM life would be complete if I could find: 1) the full Mechanical Clown sketch-- the one that has made the rounds is edited; and my Holy Grail 2) the Oops skit where Rita is a waitress. I have a vague memory of her being pied at the end of the scene, but that might be my childhood wishes playing tricks with my memory.
One of the greatest pre-pie lines of all time was delivered, naturally, by Messygirl Lane, who very likely came up with it herself. (The MGs have said she came up with better lines herself than they could ever give her.) This video starred a trio of girls, and at one point the other two have both been pied and are standing, both holding pies, on either side of Lane, who is the only clean one at that point:
I'm already CREAMY being here between you girls, so why don't you CREAM ME?
I'm already CREAMY being here between you girls, so why don't you CREAM ME?
I caught a Flintstones episode recently that featured an argument involving a bucket of water that I feel could work perfectly if slightly adapted for the start of a pie fight or a messy fight in general.
Fred: "And just where are you going with my property?"
Barney: "Your property?!? This is my bucket!"
Fred: "You are overlooking one little detail. The water in that bucket happens to belong to me."
Barney: "I'm sorry Fred. Here you are." (Splash)
Maybe this was a sign that I should start scripting a scene.
Fred: "And just where are you going with my property?"
Barney: "Your property?!? This is my bucket!"
Fred: "You are overlooking one little detail. The water in that bucket happens to belong to me."
Barney: "I'm sorry Fred. Here you are." (Splash)
Maybe this was a sign that I should start scripting a scene.
Christine/Moose usually said some good lines before her various pieings on YCDTOT. One of the best ones was before being pied by Ross. Something like: "Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to turn back to you and you're going to hit me in the face with a cream pie." That seems like a good general purpose pre-pie line. Hearing a woman say "pie in the face" is usually a very good thing.
As I recall though, the pie Christine took in that scene was one of her weaker ones.
As I recall though, the pie Christine took in that scene was one of her weaker ones.
Pies_er_alles said: Christine/Moose usually said some good lines before her various pieings on YCDTOT. One of the best ones was before being pied by Ross. Something like: "Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to turn back to you and you're going to hit me in the face with a cream pie." That seems like a good general purpose pre-pie line. Hearing a woman say "pie in the face" is usually a very good thing.
As I recall though, the pie Christine took in that scene was one of her weaker ones.
As I recall though, the pie Christine took in that scene was one of her weaker ones.
I honestly can't tell if all those lines were truly great.... or if they were just burned into our memory as kids.
For instance, that scene you mention is the FIRST episode of YCDTOTV I ever saw.... and that pie scene is burned into my brain because I'd never seen a girl (roughly) my own age get nailed in an actual comedic setup. (Before that it was all adult males and females.) So I can't be objective.
I will say that the "Drugs" episode with.... "You wouldn't.... No, you wouldn't...." SLAM!!! "Yeah, you would."
...is ALWAYS gonna work for me. (Exhibit A: The newest scene I just put out.)
SStuff said:
I honestly can't tell if all those lines were truly great.... or if they were just burned into our memory as kids.
For instance, that scene you mention is the FIRST episode of YCDTOTV I ever saw.... and that pie scene is burned into my brain because I'd never seen a girl (roughly) my own age get nailed in an actual comedic setup. (Before that it was all adult males and females.) So I can't be objective.
Pies_er_alles said: Christine/Moose usually said some good lines before her various pieings on YCDTOT. One of the best ones was before being pied by Ross. Something like: "Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to turn back to you and you're going to hit me in the face with a cream pie." That seems like a good general purpose pre-pie line. Hearing a woman say "pie in the face" is usually a very good thing.
As I recall though, the pie Christine took in that scene was one of her weaker ones.
As I recall though, the pie Christine took in that scene was one of her weaker ones.
I honestly can't tell if all those lines were truly great.... or if they were just burned into our memory as kids.
For instance, that scene you mention is the FIRST episode of YCDTOTV I ever saw.... and that pie scene is burned into my brain because I'd never seen a girl (roughly) my own age get nailed in an actual comedic setup. (Before that it was all adult males and females.) So I can't be objective.
Well, we can't over analyze it too much. I think it was a solid set-up: she knows what is about to happen but then is gullible enough to believe it won't until she gets it. And, again, it really works for me because of her using "pie" and "face" in the set-up.
A lot of the best lines are either some form of disbelief or defiance.
"You wouldn't dare" has always been a favourite of mine.
I have a soft spot for the Saved by the Bell caking too because it was one of my first real excitements about a girl getting caked on tv...
"Well, you're getting this cake"
"Oh no, I'm not"
"Oh yes, you ARE"
Ah, Lindsey
I have a soft spot for the Saved by the Bell caking too because it was one of my first real excitements about a girl getting caked on tv...
"Well, you're getting this cake"
"Oh no, I'm not"
"Oh yes, you ARE"
Ah, Lindsey
Piperthepied said: "You wouldn't dare" has always been a favourite of mine.
Seriously???
The OTHER new scene I just put out.... SS234 Scene 2. Leans into that line like a sonofabitch!
It's so very odd I shot these scenes a month ago but they're lining up directly with the lines you guys are mentioning.....
Thanks, will check it out 
SStuff said:
Seriously???
The OTHER new scene I just put out.... SS234 Scene 2. Leans into that line like a sonofabitch!
It's so very odd I shot these scenes a month ago but they're lining up directly with the lines you guys are mentioning.....
Piperthepied said: "You wouldn't dare" has always been a favourite of mine.
Seriously???
The OTHER new scene I just put out.... SS234 Scene 2. Leans into that line like a sonofabitch!
It's so very odd I shot these scenes a month ago but they're lining up directly with the lines you guys are mentioning.....
Piperthepied said: "You wouldn't dare" has always been a favourite of mine. :
i think the lost art of adding the quirks rocks.
robby and i have had to go fist to fist about how i have to take my customs and then we shoot the jayce lane show bc i have to make my guaranteed money to be able to put on other productions. he gets it.
what he doesnt know is i have news coming that will change all that but i digress.
has he sent you one of his scripts? its like they are cheezy but they dont stick to your average lines. they get to the point...but they get there in a way you arent cringing from the cheezy, its hard to be a bad actor with the lines, and it is actually really adorably funny. its very clever. which i admire.
ariel and i have had the pie fights where it starts and "oh my god i am so sorry!!" we tripped or tricked someone and its more of a "ohhhhhh im soooooo sorry you decided to sit where i sat that pie, ya dummy!" laughing loudly....then it is a free for all of verbal and messy fun. which i think is fun. we add in the "you wouldnt!!! NOOoo!" " i cant believe you!" and sometimes, of course, being southern and all...." i cant believe you, HEIFER!!" YOU WOULDNT DARE DO IT AGAIN!
i loved reading your latest part of your script s.s. that one was good. !!!
robby is still upset we didnt get to do a jayce lane show for valentines day. hey. i got STREP for valentines so....lol. i love him. more of the show coming soon! we have a lot coming up. hes got a keen eye for the pure slapstick glam of it.
rich i really dig that script!
robby and i have had to go fist to fist about how i have to take my customs and then we shoot the jayce lane show bc i have to make my guaranteed money to be able to put on other productions. he gets it.
what he doesnt know is i have news coming that will change all that but i digress.
has he sent you one of his scripts? its like they are cheezy but they dont stick to your average lines. they get to the point...but they get there in a way you arent cringing from the cheezy, its hard to be a bad actor with the lines, and it is actually really adorably funny. its very clever. which i admire.
ariel and i have had the pie fights where it starts and "oh my god i am so sorry!!" we tripped or tricked someone and its more of a "ohhhhhh im soooooo sorry you decided to sit where i sat that pie, ya dummy!" laughing loudly....then it is a free for all of verbal and messy fun. which i think is fun. we add in the "you wouldnt!!! NOOoo!" " i cant believe you!" and sometimes, of course, being southern and all...." i cant believe you, HEIFER!!" YOU WOULDNT DARE DO IT AGAIN!
i loved reading your latest part of your script s.s. that one was good. !!!
robby is still upset we didnt get to do a jayce lane show for valentines day. hey. i got STREP for valentines so....lol. i love him. more of the show coming soon!
we have a lot coming up. hes got a keen eye for the pure slapstick glam of it. rich i really dig that script!
More BTS, clips, messes, wetlook+fetish on my OF!
Jayce said: i think the lost art of adding the quirks rocks.
robby and i have had to go fist to fist about how i have to take my customs and then we shoot the jayce lane show bc i have to make my guaranteed money to be able to put on other productions. he gets it.
what he doesnt know is i have news coming that will change all that but i digress.
has he sent you one of his scripts? its like they are cheezy but they dont stick to your average lines. they get to the point...but they get there in a way you arent cringing from the cheezy, its hard to be a bad actor with the lines, and it is actually really adorably funny. its very clever. which i admire.
ariel and i have had the pie fights where it starts and "oh my god i am so sorry!!" we tripped or tricked someone and its more of a "ohhhhhh im soooooo sorry you decided to sit where i sat that pie, ya dummy!" laughing loudly....then it is a free for all of verbal and messy fun. which i think is fun. we add in the "you wouldnt!!! NOOoo!" " i cant believe you!" and sometimes, of course, being southern and all...." i cant believe you, HEIFER!!" YOU WOULDNT DARE DO IT AGAIN!
i loved reading your latest part of your script s.s. that one was good. !!!
robby is still upset we didnt get to do a jayce lane show for valentines day. hey. i got STREP for valentines so....lol. i love him. more of the show coming soon! we have a lot coming up. hes got a keen eye for the pure slapstick glam of it.
rich i really dig that script!
robby and i have had to go fist to fist about how i have to take my customs and then we shoot the jayce lane show bc i have to make my guaranteed money to be able to put on other productions. he gets it.
what he doesnt know is i have news coming that will change all that but i digress.
has he sent you one of his scripts? its like they are cheezy but they dont stick to your average lines. they get to the point...but they get there in a way you arent cringing from the cheezy, its hard to be a bad actor with the lines, and it is actually really adorably funny. its very clever. which i admire.
ariel and i have had the pie fights where it starts and "oh my god i am so sorry!!" we tripped or tricked someone and its more of a "ohhhhhh im soooooo sorry you decided to sit where i sat that pie, ya dummy!" laughing loudly....then it is a free for all of verbal and messy fun. which i think is fun. we add in the "you wouldnt!!! NOOoo!" " i cant believe you!" and sometimes, of course, being southern and all...." i cant believe you, HEIFER!!" YOU WOULDNT DARE DO IT AGAIN!
i loved reading your latest part of your script s.s. that one was good. !!!
robby is still upset we didnt get to do a jayce lane show for valentines day. hey. i got STREP for valentines so....lol. i love him. more of the show coming soon!
we have a lot coming up. hes got a keen eye for the pure slapstick glam of it. rich i really dig that script!
Thanks Jayce!
Robby says he's working on something for me.... so we shall see. I enjoy his writing actually! He doesn't do a lot of scripts so he makes them count!
There's also a customer of mine who was also a playwright and scriptwriter for a time! So he would get bored from his "real" work and send me skits. Some of them are the old school ones like the newscaster girl from SS33, and others. His stuff was WAY better than mine.....
I don't want to put out my Audition script publicly (1-2 producers used to steal my scripts back in the day) but I'll send it to ya if you want.... It's one of my recent favorites actually. The GIF above comes from it. (You wouldn't dare!!)
This reminded me of a classic video from Jayce's early days in WAM, one she did for WamBabes with Nerea. (I think it was one of Nerea's first videos, maybe her very first one.)
There's a line in it that looks like nothing special at all in cold, hard print, but the way Jayce delivers it makes it a real classic in my mind. Jayce is wearing a sexy fishnet body stocking, and Nerea is in pink and white lingerie; they both look sensational. At one point, having already messed up her gorgeous new victim Nerea with custard, slime, and a cake to the ass, Jayce stoops over to pick up her next weapon of choice from the ground. We get a great view of her spectacular ass as she does. Then crouching down next Nerea, who's seated on the floor, Jayce says, "Everybody loves to see a pie to the face." She then shrugs nonchalantly and continues, "Personally, I like a cake to the face." The line is tossed off by Jayce so naturally (very likely spontaneously; I really doubt there was a script) that it's completely perfect, especially because she then pauses for just a brief beat of perfect comic timing before slapping the small but very messy white cake into Nerea's face and really rubbing it in. I can't really do it justice in words, so I'm presenting some screencaps below, but of course neither one can convey how great this moment is. In fact, it's one of my favorite moments in all of Wamdom.
There's a line in it that looks like nothing special at all in cold, hard print, but the way Jayce delivers it makes it a real classic in my mind. Jayce is wearing a sexy fishnet body stocking, and Nerea is in pink and white lingerie; they both look sensational. At one point, having already messed up her gorgeous new victim Nerea with custard, slime, and a cake to the ass, Jayce stoops over to pick up her next weapon of choice from the ground. We get a great view of her spectacular ass as she does. Then crouching down next Nerea, who's seated on the floor, Jayce says, "Everybody loves to see a pie to the face." She then shrugs nonchalantly and continues, "Personally, I like a cake to the face." The line is tossed off by Jayce so naturally (very likely spontaneously; I really doubt there was a script) that it's completely perfect, especially because she then pauses for just a brief beat of perfect comic timing before slapping the small but very messy white cake into Nerea's face and really rubbing it in. I can't really do it justice in words, so I'm presenting some screencaps below, but of course neither one can convey how great this moment is. In fact, it's one of my favorite moments in all of Wamdom.
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