It me!

Ha! I personally love you, Regis!

Awww, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! I'm going to send you some fresh dick pics, kittenish!

Templars All the way
Who did you romance ?

Thought YALL might be interested in the fact JnC and I had a beautiful young woman who was interested in exploring wam book a session with us. It was great and she loved it. So HA! We exist!

1) A lot of the lads on here don't have a fetish. According to most psychologists today a fetish is something non sexual that makes you aroused. So for example becoming sexually aroused by mud without imagining interacting with another person would make you a mud fetishist. Freud had the original definition which was not only that the person was aroused by something that was not normally considered sexual but also that they could not get aroused without at least thinking of thir fetish. I've only met a couple of men who met that definition.
2) Various experiments have shown that women are more sexually plastic than men. This means that we are able to expand our horizons so we rarely get fetishes full stop. This is great news for me as I started with a fetish by Frueds definition and was able to change to the point I can get aroused without mess present.
3) If you mean kink/fantasy then women fantasize about more of a variety of things than men so we don't tend to focus on one thing however we also tend to be more open minded sexually and enjoy a wider range of things. We're also less visual than men for example my fantasies center on the feel not the imagining the look of something. That means web sites are less interesting to us although a lot of us enjoy erotic fiction. There are probably as many women with messy fantasies as there are men with them it's just that for most women those fantasies are one among many. Just read any of Nancy Fridays books for an idea of the spectrum of female fantasies.

WAM does seem to be more popular with males but there are a few of us women that are into it. I did get introduced to the fetish from my boyfriend.

Profile deleted. My point exactly.

Having met Kate Im not too worried about her. Haha! I have a feeling she will be strong enough to politely tell assholes to "fuck off," although I doubt as savagely as I do. Lmao! Yeah Kate! Stick with us!

Yes, sadly it seems that it is too much to ask for some of the guys here to stop being creepy and even offensive i am still here, but only just...

The amount of messages i still get from guys asking for sessions and custom pictures, and turning nasty when i say no, and point them to my profile, where it clearly says i'm not here to do either, is actually starting to make me think about deleting my profile then i think why should i ?, this is my fetish too, and am trying hard not to let the few who are creepy, spoil it for me. Of course this still is the minority, and a lot of the men here are lovely and do take the time to chat and be friendly, i have made some very good friends on here, its just such a shame the few can spoil it for many

Stay! We ladies need to stand our ground and not be run off by morons. I've almost deleted my page a couple times too. Always coming back to that same feeling you've had of "why should I?!" Im happy to see more guys calling out the creeps as well. Sadly the type of men that do this shit aren't going to listen to people with vaginas.

And again... Totally agree it's such a small percentage of assholes on here.

Kate, I'll start with this last post and then work back......

Yes! Please do stay (ALL of you ladies who have commented about the creeps)! Tell them to fuck off, block them, tell Messmaster, but please do something to stop the bullying. If you each do it, and stick it out, maybe those kinds of people will drift away to "easier pickings" on some other forum!

Congrats on your 1st session, Kate! You couldn't have picked two better ladies to "break you in" than Maria & JnC!

And thank you for posting the pics in your profile album! You look wonderful, and seem to be having a great time! That's awesome that you jumped in and had a session!

Norman

Why should their relationship/marital status matter? They shouldn't be a fucking creep either way lol

This reminds me of the time I made a fake POF profile using an obviously fake photo of a model. In a bout 30 minutes I had received 100 messages and 30 dick pics. From all over North America. It was really startling so I set all profile pics to dick pics I received and deactivated the account. Horndogs are all over not just this site. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with, if you are being targeted.

Tl;Dr
Assholes wanting to get their dick wet are allover the Internet. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I'm also really encouraged by the gentlemen on the boards who have been more vocal recently about casting out the creeps! And I'm thinking with the help and presence of all these badass, no-nonsense babes like Maria, maybe we're starting to tip the scales in the right direction? To my ladies, please stick around and just push ignore on the idiots. No reason you don't belong here and shouldn't be able to have your fun.

I actually have been quite lucky and in all my years here have only received a few truly appalling messages. And I have to say there are some really wonderful people here (like lovely Norman!) who more than make up for the occasional jerks.

To your question, Jason: creepers will be creepers. I don't know if you were asking specifically about behavior on the forums, but my IRL experience is that I am often approached by men on the street and they frequently won't take no for an answer until I say I am married. Even if you tell a man to his face you are not interested, he will very often persist. The only thing that stops a man is saying you're married, probably because at that point he thinks another dude will kick his ass! And actually once a man told me, "OK so you are married, but won't your husband allow you to have friends?" Beyond lame that lots of men don't just respect what a woman wants. I would prefer not to have to use this tactic, but these days I would rather cut the conversation short by any means instead of being followed and harassed for blocks.

#justfucboithings

Fun fact: When my girlfriend and I first discussed posting our WAM material to the UMD, I asked her if she wanted to perhaps make her own account to post and respond to people on here, or if she just wanted to leave everything to me with my existing profile. Past experiences, similar to the ones being described in this thread, and the possibility of experiencing more of them led her to IMMEDIATELY respond that she'd prefer that I handle posting our content and chatting to people on here, for the most part. She simply knew it would happen and she didn't want to deal with it. Her and I run into enough fucboi's on Tumblr and she's been catcalled and followed by people multiple times irl; the last thing we wanted was to experience that on yet another social platform.

All the same, seeing this thread and seeing the women of UMD posting about it and speaking up does make me feel a little better. I'm especially happy that members who aren't quite as prominent or prolific in their posts are talking as well. It's nice to see that so many great women stick around, against the tidal barrage of assholes. I really don't think this is endemic to the WAM fetish in particular (referring to the level of creeps and creepage; not the lack of women active on UMD), although there have been some real pieces of work I've seen in the 10ish years I've been following this forum and the fetish at large. Entitled pricks are a fixture of this day and age.

Hopefully at least some people will get the message and fuck right off...hopefully. You ladies are honestly a lot stronger than many males, I feel. If I were a woman, I truly don't think I'd be able to put up with what you experience on a forum like this, let alone society at large. Y'all are fuckin' brave.

I love a deep conversation and wowww.......this has so got there and I have to add my bit now.......

I think it's such a shame that women who obviously have the same fetish as the (guesstimated!) 90% of men on UMD are scared away from what they like, want and maybe even get off on just like the "guys" on here. Now that is so f***ing selfish and rude in my eyes :'( I know this is so alien, but are we not all just humans with a fetish? Women actually make this place so "be nice and kind" is a really really.................politically correct way of putting it!

I had a really interesting and eye opening chat with Maria when we caught up a little while ago and she said there we're so many ladies on here and that actually surprised me a little as you wouldn't think so. Then you read more of this post you can see why they aren't very forward and open on here. I guess as a guy you can't ever understand the amount (and type!) of messages you must receive in just a day or so and you must think WTF have I found, firstly in a hugely positive (fetish) way when we all find this place and then my inbox is full of cocks and cocks literally........

It's quite a standard thing to say to a new lady on here "welcome to UMD" with a smile and then beware of the inbox deluge.......

I've met a few ladies on here now and they are all so brilliant and just normal folk. A couple for sessions and another through talking and getting to know her. Since then we've met up for food and drink and although we know we ain't gunna "get it on" in any way that doesn't mean I ain't gunna chat to her and hope she can find happiness in her life. There is nothing I could hope for her more as she's a lovely lady! and a human being!!!!

There are just way too many idiots/arseholes on here, so wrapped up in there own version of this fetish and pretty much treating women as meat and to serve their world and fetish and I guess it's all about where you are in life and how deep you are into this world and do you have any sort of normal day to day life. My pet hate is keyboard warriors who chat shit but would never meet for a beer and to just talk about life, politics, sport or even the bloody weather! There's a reason why they don't in my book :/ I totally understand not everybody is ready to chat to people as you have to accept yourself for everything you are, like and need and that's fine too

I'm all about the meeting people, talking sport, politics, religion, life and just whatever. If you do that you can and will find good people and even good friends and that's what is should be all about!

Go you girls and don't be deleting them profiles. This could be the start of the revolution so stick together and hopefully this could be the beginning!


Peace and love as the gaffer would say xx

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love this!

Ha! Didn't get to page 3 yet when I wrote above post. Fuck yeah!!! Revolution!!!!

Free the vaginas on UMD! Creeps beware!!!!

You go, Maria! AndMessFan14, and Kittenish, and WPKate, and Leila, and Layla, and all you other wonderful ladies!

Norman

Agreed, as long as I'm grandfathered in!

The UMD is very well patrolled and I really think the areshats are the exception here. Visual kinks will prolly always be the province of males & the male gaze but women respond I feel to the tactile, the brain, & the BDSM aspect to greater or lesser degree. Good posts.

PS, Regis always gets the lifetime yogurt free punchcard for creepin'.

Just another thing I thought would be interesting to add, with a feminine perspective to back it up: My girlfriend had always loved the prospect of sharing photos of herself in naughty situations in general, long before I introduced her to WAM. Simply put, she's a kinkball. She had never done so before we got together, partly because she didn't previously have a partner quite like myself who was very sexual and heavily into BDSM and such. While she hadn't seriously considered it before, the prospect excited her. But another major reason was that she simply didn't want to deal with creeps, at least not on her own. Fuccboi's, aggressive guys, people who plain just don't get it...let's be real, sites like these are just more often than not intimidating places for tons of women.

In other words: a woman wanted to engage in a fetish and share her experiences, but wasn't comfortable with going it alone due to the nature of the internet and the creeps that would certainly pursue her and harass her. I wonder how many cases of this there are in the WAM world, or pretty much any similar activity...

If you're new to this site how come you've been a member for 4 years?

Responding to the post about men being more visually-oriented (the forum is visual image based, etc.) as an explanation for why their are more men here than women...I have heard this many times, and while I generally agree with it, it doesn't completely make sense (in terms of participation here)...women spend hours picking out the right clothes, trying them on (used to have a gf who would go through 5 or 6 complete wardrobe changes every morning before she decided on the "right one"....and also on their makeup (depending on where they are going -- club social gathering bar, dinner date, etc.)...now, sure, clothing has a tactile component (of course), the parading in front of the mirror and emphasis on beauty "looks" is undeniably visually-oriented and show that women are concerned with visual imagery... most likely, it is a combination (verses sense isolation, typical with males brains) of both visual and tactile AND context...again, women have to feel comfortable and safe to express their kinkier sides....plus, we live in an age where the internet dominates and sites millions of folks engage in slut/body shaming (as if they were the rightful arbiters of female attractiveness -- more likely they are social retards who've never been with a real woman)...point being: I think it's more complicated when it comes to female participation here (or anywhere)....men are generally (when it comes to sexual matters) very, very simple.

I *so, so, SOOOOO* don't want this thread to die.

I should start with this; I'm a guy. I came here because I'm into this kink and want to meld it with my artwork and figured going to the community of people who already enjoy this fetish made a lot of sense when looking for people to model. I also figured I'd learn a lot about myself in the conversation that I hoped would ensue from this, as well as figure out from the WAM community as a whole how I could improve the work I'm making.

What kind of spooks me (which is part of why I've been here six months and hardly posted) is the amount of creepy that I see floating around here (I also used to lurk without an account a while ago, and made a different one about two years ago that I deleted pretty fast). As some other women and men have stated here, I can't imagine being a woman on this site sometimes. You're really brave souls.

Additionally, I personally am always afraid to add to that voracious climate that so many women speak about here, despite looking for people to model. I hate the idea of this place that *should* be a safe space being ruined so often. It's honestly why kink in general on a community level is a struggle for me.

Recently (now that I have a working computer again, lol) I've been wading back into this community slowly but surely, but there's so much weird shit about it. Even things that seem like a small detail, the choice of a woman being splattered as a logo, or there not being a particular and devoted women's chat when there is one for men contributes more to what I imagine already feels unwelcoming on a systemic level, and sends a message of our gender getting put first.

There are a lot of women whom I've met just from doing my own art and talking to them that would be really interested in this fetish and community, or at the least bring a wealth of worthwhile conversation to it, but I'm always sad to see the possibility of that die. I've been fortunate enough to be in a relationship with a really open partner as far as this goes, but we've both struggled with wanting to engage kinky communities more as a whole.

I dunno, my thoughts feel really unfocused here in this post, but I'm glad this thread exists, it makes me want to engage more and stick around (ha ha ha).

Thanks everyone, especially to the women speaking up in this thread and on the forum as a whole. It's the best way for the community to improve.

Raspaint:

I feel your pain(t)

Seriously, I do understand what you are saying, and, I often imagine what it is like to be a female wishing to explore a fetish or kink on a dedicated forum (like this one)...it would seem to require thick skin...not to diminish your view point, I have to say perhaps your view of the "creepiness" here and elsewhere is a tad unrealistic or even naive....this is the Internet, and, this is a fetish/erotica forum....insofar as it deals directly or indirectly with sexual arousal and paraphilia -- and given how diverse our collective sexual educations and experiences are -- there will inevitably be a few "creepy"guys (maybe girls too), trolls, uber-perves, borderline harrassers, socially retarded jerks, and generally inappropriate attempts at contact...which the moderators try their best to weed out...Yes, even if these are the minority, they do contribute to the sub-cultural atmosphere here. (for a short period)...but it's the same everywhere...whether over the web or in person, we simply cannot police/control everyone's behavior all the time -- or vet everyone before they post a comment or send a PM (which seems to be what it would take for you to feel "comfortable" here)...It is an open forum for the most part...anyone can participate (or re-register with a different handle after a hiatus)...you just have to live with it, help out the moderators and site owner, and do your best to create a positive, fun and lively forum....and ignore, isolate/marginalize the "defectors" from the community norms/standards of "decency"....

...towards a thicker skin and more realistic expectations

In the words of one creep who shall go unnamed, this topic needs bare boobs.