Yes I reported the original pic- heard nothing back. Have also reported the new/edited repost

Unfortunately, like a lot of things, legislation can only fix things up to a point and the system relies on a greater or lesser extent of personal goodwill to exist. Whilst looking at regulating DMs might help many of the cases described on this thread, there is no perfect solution: it will remain too easy to impersonate/sock puppet an account to circumvent some restriction; and preventing new users from DMing for a period of time does not cure all either. Then we have to consider the workload extra policing might impose upon the mods: will they have the time and resources to be proactive in preventing bad behaviour or have to be reactive after the fact?

i reported it too

That green shower gel and yoghurt sure was cold, wasn't it?

Sorry for calling you out your bad behaviour and ruining your fun. Apologies for my bad behaviour in doing it publicly. You could then delete the photo and comments, and mods would never see it. What I should have done is just message a MM while the photo was still up.

I've no idea what the above is in relation to, but I do think things should be called out publicly so we can 1) see each other holding ppl accountable and therefore actually feel like most ppl give a s**t. Right now I don't feel that way at all
2) if we visibly call ppl out rather than privately, it may encourage others to say when something isn't right rather than scroll by and ignore 3) it also makes things transparent so if anyone felt upset in anyway, everyone can see exactly what has been said - for example if the person in the stocks in public felt bullied by me for calling out their pic; everyone can see exactly what I've said and I'd not have to bother with screenshots or receipts etc.

I think the biggest problem we have is a lot of the people who behave badly don't realise their behaviour is bad.

I don't see how we fix that.

I don't think they care.

This is because thereald believes that LucyFM2001 is not a real female. Now I know this really annoys some people on here that men pretend to be women and there are a fare few on here, some more convincing than others. Now so long as these people are not conning money out of people or up to other malicious things then if this is how they they want to live out online then crack on. In the scheme of things with people kink farming, harassment stalking of models and getting unsuspecting members of the public to participate in their kink without concent it's the least of our worries.

What would the point of pretending to be female be?
I am not talking to anyone in here or in the PMs, I am keeping myself to myself.

Last post I will make. I will simply enjoy the wall from this moment on.

Please, you can keep making posts. Brag about how many private messages you are or aren't receiving. Post AI photos of blondes in bathtubs. I honestly don't care as long as you're not trying to con people.

Wasn't aiming my comment at you. Please don't stop commenting because of me. I thought the way your post was hog piled was terrible to be honest, whether real or not it was wrong.


There is a number of reasons, everyone who does it has their own. It's long been a thing on UMD. Some of the reasons are harmless some are not. I would imagine anything from curiosity to living out fantasies. Some like the attention. If there wasn't loads of reasons Catfish the TV show wouldn't be a thing.

I thought pretending that an AI photo was really them was terrible - and so I called it out - this is what this thread is about after all.

The AI photo was quickly deleted, but it featured a woman in a bath-tub covered in a khaki green substance, the woman was wearing a short sleeved top that was the exact same colour as the substance. Like the top melted into the substance. It was obviously AI. There was a black bar across the woman's eyes, as though it was an attempt at disguising the identity of the woman. LucyFM2001 left a comment saying that it was "her playing with lime shower gel and yoghurt", and that it was "really cold!" And another comment saying that "I'm worried that the bar does little to hide my identity".

Now, if someone wants to post AI images, obviously I think that's fine. If someone wants to post AI images and indulge in a fantasy of scenarios they imagine themselves in, that's also fine. But if someone posts an AI image and pretends that it's them, while at the same time soliciting messages about meeting up via a post in the Personals forum, obviously that's wrong and should be called out.

Please stop here about the Lucy drama.
This has been discussed and opinions have already been thrown around. No need to open this wound again.

To answer another question:
Men pretend to be women on all forums either to con or blackmail after catfishing, or because they get themselves off with the chats, or they think it's funny. The first one is illegal and dangerous, the other 2 are just annoying.

BUT. This thread is about other people behaviour and how it can be changed or moderated, and is really interesting. Lets not lose the traction it has please.

Why is this bothering you so much? Several people's bad behaviour have been discussed in this post - why is this one special?

Did you see the photo I'm talking about?

I can corroborate thereald.

Catfishing is bad behavior and thereald was calling it out. That probably saved some people from being scammed for paying travel expenses to Lucy for a meet up. A lot of people didn't even seem to recognize it.

This is the first time I've seem someone use an AI generated photo to do it.

Here is a screenshot of what her original profile photo looked like. It was AI generated and she blacked out the eyes to make it appear like she was trying to hide her identity. She had also made up some comments about what the mess was, being lime shower gel and cold yogurt. It was not labeled synthetic at first. It changed to synthetic. Then it was deleted.

Using AI images to fake a profile for a meetup is deceptive behavior.

All I got for it was people calling me toxic and writing long-winded explanations about how having a fake photo is totally reasonable thing to do and not at all sus (e.g. because the landlord might recognise the bathroom).

I think we do need to get better at calling out bad behaviour. It's easy to call out bad behaviour when everyone already agrees with you. It's slightly harder when you get brigaded by people who haven't even seen what it is you're talking about.

Not saying it was wrong to call it out but it became a bit of a hog pile. I have been here long enough to see this happen to a real woman who then made wam vids to prove she was real.

Calling out also has to be done in the right way.


As Silver Sea said this thread has had some great traction. Let's not lose that and make this about one person or one incident.

Correct. I am not calling anyone out for their actions/what they said, but you have said everything already in in another thread very recently and that turned into a pointless opinion piece. I am simply saying "Stay on topic". This thread is about something different and so re-opening the other thread here is a. pointless and b. going to lock this thread.

We are discussing how we address bad behaviour, not you specifically (FYI, I had no problem with folks pointing out their griefs/beliefs about others. It helps as a warning to new folk about the dangers of the internet. So thank you for doing that).

But please, if you think Lucy isn't real, stop being trolled by them into more of the same.

@Silver-sea Not too long after I joined up last Autumn we conversed about this very topic via DM and I included the chat I had from another member who'd been DMing me. They remain one of two people I've blocked on here.

I'm sure I shall do more things here once it stops being freezing........ Life has taken a strange turn lately!

That "pointless opinion piece" saved people from getting scammed.

Sorry that this example bores you - but it's a real example of attempting to call out bad behaviour, and one that I've certainly learned from. I won't mention it again.

Having read all of the above, I actually think mentioning what happened with Lucy is quite relevant and perhaps there's a take away from it.

So Lucy used AI and got called out for cat fishing - great, ppl were challenging something iffy

HOWEVER

From this thread it seems it spiralled

SO

I was so disappointed that only myself and PieMaster1980 publicly called out the public 'charity' wam post with the stocks quite the opposite to the dog piling I hear Lucy got

So where's the middle ground. What was it tht went wrong with calling out Lucy that made it more than just challenging her? What can we learn from that so we call out ppl but it doesn't become whatever happened to Lucy?

(I had more written but decided to omit it from this message to get back on topic)

A good middle ground is to call out bad behaviors here on the non-wam forum without naming who or what specifically was said. I've seen plenty of people create posts here mentioning fake accounts with photos stolen from instagram or X, but they do not say which umd member it is.

I think bad behaviors have been called out in the past. Brattyshortcakes shared one about an insulting message she received. Creammeagain shared one post about entitlement.

I do feel like it is rude to call out someone for being fake. It is especially wrong to expect someone to post a real photo or video to prove their realness. This should be against the rules to make such a demand in a message or comment. It is also wrong if a model who tries to conceal her face and identity is asked to show her face, or a model who prefers not to show her privates is asked to show her privates.

I had more to say on the original topic, which seemed to be about how to call out the bad behaviors of the creeps or jerks, or prevent them from messaging.

Some of the other ideas mentioned about restricting DMs are not necessary. There is already a feature that prevents DMs unless you are friends with someone. DMs from non-friends are disabled for female gender selected profiles by default. It says so in the ToS. Women will not receive DMs from anyone who is not their friend, unless they enable this option to allow messages from anyone or just add every single friend request of people who wants to message them.

I can think of two site features:

1. An option to disable people Following you.
2. An option to disable incoming friend requests but still allow outgoing friend requests.

The 1st one would remove notifications someone may get when they join that some random person is following them.

The 2nd one would remove friend requests that are spammed on new members when they join.

These two options would at least stop new members from being overwhelmed from notifications and friend requests. The downside of these features is that women that join that want friends and messages may feel like they are being ignored if they don't realize this is the default.

I don't understand. Are the current site features not good enough? My suggestion for new members that join umd:

* Keep the "Who can inbox me?" setting to "Friends".
* Don't accept every friend request.
* Read people's profiles, post, and comments to make a judgement.
* Remove friends who annoy you with DMs.
* Report DMs that are harassing. It is against the ToS to harass.
* Do not reply to bad messages. Just unfriend or report them.

As far as making umd better for women that produce content, I don't have any hope. Most models prefer onlyfans now. They will all just leave to OF. They can get more money, paid subscription to allow messaging, tips in message, tips on post, ppv, and tipping for a custom. There is no reason to offer any freebie photos or freebie message interactions here anymore. The only reason to use umd is for marketing. I don't think most women even need umd for that anymore because they can market on X and reddit. Most fans that pay seem to be willing to subscribe and pay on onlyfans. Most models seem to be moving to provide content only on onlyfans. This place just doesn't seem worth the time.

This happened to Messygirl Liz when she made a post here. She got piled on by people demanding proof it was her.

In my mind the only time to call someone out as fake is when they are doing harm to others in the community. This is the internet, everyone lies about something. No one should demand some kind of verification with whatever pretend authority they think they have. The only person that can demand any kind of proof of a user is MM as this is his site. This is bad behavior that needs to be called out every time.

Definitely agree 100% there have been a few of those over the years. Even worse models that have been hunted down on social media 3rd with their real names. I maintain it's because we have so few women here the men have forgotten how to or more worryingly don't think they have to speak to them as a,person not an object.it

I do think friends and messages should be off as default. I can probably tell you who the first 5 friend requests will be, first wall message would be from. I dread to think on the messages both number and content in the first few days.

I think what would help, only a thought like I say it doesn't happen to me.

When a female joins messages are off so are friend requests. MM sends a message saying this and includes information from Violet, Bratty, Chloe etc, this is what UMD is like for a woman you will get a y shut also x y z. Make it a balanced but accurate piece.

I would also have a 3 strike rule. People can put the kind of message they are willing to receive ok d of like the forum filters. Anyone not respecting this. Warned, warned with temp dm ban then gone.

CoaB, learn to read and also not edit my post for your benefit.

1. I said it turned into a pointless opinion piece.
2. I said what you said was helpful and necessary.
3. At no point did i say it was boring.

But thank you for "I won't mention it again" as that was all I was asking for.

Yeah, if a well known model joins this site, I just assume one of 4 things.

1. It's an agent. A modeling agent, talent agent, a producer, husband, or boyfriend. This is someone who she (hopefully) gave consent to run her account.

2. It is just some random person. They are a troll that knows it it is wrong but do it anyways or someone with a mental health issue.

3. It's a proxy. A man in the middle. This is someone who is acting like her to scam people for money. Maybe they proxy custom requests. You pay the proxy $300, he pays the model $200, and he gets $100 plus a video. Maybe he even tries to resell or side-sell the video without her consent too.

4. It is really her. I bet most models are not her to join a fetish community to make friends. They are here to make money. They don't want to send or receive messages unless it is for paying for a custom.

I would let the community, mods, and MM sort it out. I am not surprised that people call out these profiles as fakes. It is rude, but I actually feel like there is a positive side to it. The positive side is that a model should be assured that there are people here willing to call out fake profiles to protect her namesake from being used to scam people. Also, people are looking to protect other people on the site from being scammed. I feel like there are ways to do it respectfully, and once one person does it we don't need a dozen more people also calling it out.

I feel like most women that are community members and sell content here have probably learned to put up with the weird, creepy, or nasty messages. There are people here that are willing to pay for customs. I'm thinking of another site feature which would help women here - a checkbox in the profile preferences called "Looking to buy customs". Producers approved to produce customs should get the option to find profiles of people willing to pay for them. Usually women here that want to make money from customs will post threads like "How should I get this dress messy" or polls. I bet they do it to hopefully get messages from people asking and willing to pay for a custom. I also received a message from a producer offering to make a custom after I participated in a thread. She did make the custom for me and it was the first custom I have received.

Personally, I've always been of the opinion that praise should be given publicly and criticism should be given privately (at least to begin with). We won't know how much stuff is getting reported and dealt with appropriately, and to me that feels like the first tool to make use of for calling out bad behaviour. When I've reported stuff previously, it's been dealt with appropriately, so I've not felt the need to do anything else beyond that. If nothing gets done, to me that feels like the time to post something more publicly.

A lot of constructive stuff in the thread, but I can't help thinking it's a bit sad that we're having to think about how we tweak technology to protect women from the behaviour of men, rather than educating men about how to improve their behaviour. But, I'm also not completely nieve and realistically improving how peope behave is in some cases slow and others a lost cause (not that it should stop us trying), so it's still good that we're thinking about if anything further can be done.

It's not just models it's any openly appearing female who joins the site.

The public is heard to read and understand I dread to think what the DMs are like. Although I have heard a disturbing amount of DM's involved self pleasure and Nutella

I agree with this but it's hard to approach the community privately.


This is not so much aimed at MM and the mods. I don't agree with some decisions, for example the moment someone suggested parents invite their teen children to join in there kink, even if they where 18-19 (although odds aren't in that favour) the person should have been gone. Allowing the charity pic back up. I do appreciate that they probably have a lot to look into etc and in some instances a bottom line to look after.

This is aimed at the community, to make it a better place for women here, hopefully stop so many leaving and make it a better place for those joining.


I am sure like me many look at actions of many and think really or have members names we would warn people about. Maybe we need to stop thinking it and post it, stop warning in private and do it publicly.

I do believe some can be educated and the above may help with that. Many are lost causes though in my opinion. Some people build a bad reputation then rejoin and try again, their language and writing style give them away and eventually they are doing the same as before.


I do think there have been some great points made and I hope these can be discussed more. The fact this discussion has been so popular and on the whole level headed does give hope.