A slapstick tour de force by Maria, as she is tricked into saying words and phrases that get her, cream, squirty cream, pies, ice cream, custard, syrup, gunge, porridge and red paint!

Maria sits topless in the office, reminiscing about what a great day it was, and how she has managed to destroy Kitten, Cherry, Patience and Amanda and stay completely clean herself. Having talked a little about what she did to each girl.

She checks her new watch..it's nearly 5pm on Friday and safe to put her new tight dress on. She is ready to leave the office and go when the phone rings.

It is Cherry apparently updating Maria on her request to organise strawberries and cream for the office. She has only got strawberries "I have to have the cream" pleads Maria and guess what..she gets the cream all right, as out of nowhere cream falls on top of her. She can't believe it, as she gets ordinary and squirty cream. "At least she didn't use ice-cream" says Maria, and so she gets the ice-cream

"Oh this is never ever ever going to come out" she wails

The phone rings again

Maria says she was about to leave but has run into problems. Amanda should go on and eat, and Maria will just grab a a sandwich...'splatt!'. From nowhere she gets a pie sandwich Next it's Patience who calls..they have caught the burglar who has been robbing local offices..they have him in..what's the word?

'Custody' says Maria, and she she gets the Custard (ordinary and chocolate custard)

Apparently he was caught as he had on an unconvincing wig..Patience can't remember cockney slang for a wig

'It's syrup' says naive Maria..and boy does she get it again!

Next up Kitten rings...Maria says she'll keep her apprised of what is happening

splattt..she takes a pie to the face

"I said apprised...not apiesed" yells Maria...splatt! she gets pied again

Then Kitten tells her her new joke

"How do you get an idiot slimed?"

"I don't know" replies Mria

That's right laughs Kitten as Maria gets the slime right over he head..oh and over her new gold watch too

Patience rings back and says they burglar will be spending the night in prison..what's the slang for prison? "Porridge" says Maria..and she gets the porridge

"I will not be defeated" she vows.."I'm going to get cleaned up and go out and paint the town red"

you guessed it..she gets the red paint

We leave her, totally destroyed by the brilliant set-ups of the off-screen other girls

(Please be aware..the arm and part of the torso of the male assistant pouring the items is partially visible during the scene)