Maggie had always considered herself a serious person so found herself somewhat in a quandary with her latest group assignment. She was studying theatre science and was halfway through her second year on the course, having recently got top marks for her stage direction on "the Scottish play". However, this new assignment called for her to not only be on stage but also to be silly and spontaneous, both things that were completely outside her wheelhouse.

She'd first got interested in the theatre when she was just a teenager. She'd loved attending the shows and wanted to be part of the magic. But despite dreams of appearing on stage she was far too shy and reserved to actually perform upon it. Instead, she had worked backstage doing everything from maintaining props to helping the actors into their costumes. This in turn had led to more prominent roles such as technical and stage management but she wanted even more.

That had led her to enrolling on a three-year degree course at the local University. Her previous practical experience had paid off greatly and she had gotten top marks for all her assignments and examinations so far. But unfortunately, the tutor insisted that the students needed to experience all aspects of theatre work to become fully rounded professionals. So, Maggie now found herself but only having to appear in front of the curtain but doing a slapstick routine.

Pantomimes were an annual event for the theatre industry and had become a sure-fire money-maker which helped to support other more worthy, although less popular, productions. They usually involved celebrity appearances, popular songs and a slapstick "slosh scene". The latter being named after the soap-like foam that usually ended up splattering most of the nearby set and coating the poor performers. Something that Maggie was keen to avoid if at all possible.

"What about the traditional decorating scene?" Olga suggested.

"Or a baking session with lots of messy ingredients" Jean chipped in.

Maggie wasn't keen on either of her classmates' proposals. What we really wanted was a sketch where she would remain clean and wracked her brains for something. She was sure there was something she'd seen when young which would be ideal if she could just recall the details. There were three men in overalls with one of them getting repeatedly pied whilst a fourth man dressed in a gown and mortarboard stood to one side explaining the various techniques in use.

That evening Maggie spent hours on her iPad searching for the sketch. After a while she began to think she'd imagined the whole thing but finally she found it. It was called the Comedy Lecture and was written by the Monty Python troupe. There were even a couple of variations of the scene on YouTube which she watched. It seemed absolutely ideal, and Maggie could see endless ways in which it could be adapted for their needs and all with her still maintaining her dignity.

* * *

Maggie mentioned the idea to her two course mates the following morning as the three of them were studying in the library. Neither had ever heard of the sketch before so Maggie got out her phone and showed them. They both loved it instantly, laughing at the routine and beginning to throw around some suggestions such as alternate costumes and pieing techniques. In fact, they got so engrossed in their discussions that one of the librarians came over to tell them to quiet down.

Luckily there was an unused study room nearby which they adorned to in order to continue the debate. Jean wondered who else to include from the course to fill out the numbers, but Maggie explained there really was no one for anyone extra. The role of the assistant supplying the "edible missiles" could easily be discarded in favour of a couple of conveniently located trolleys or tables. And instead of three stooges slapping pies against one another it only really needed two.

"Couldn't we use a recording rather than having a lecturer?" Jean asked.

"Yes, and that way we can still have three stooges" Olga agreed.

Maggie was a little dismayed at the direction the discussion had taken but she wasn't quite ready to give in yet, there must be a way so she didn't get humiliated as well. In the Monty Python sketch the middle stooge took the majority of the pies until the end where one or both of the other stooges got pied as well. But what about changing things around, so that the middle stooge avoided all the pies, and it was the other two who were the recipients of all the mess.

Assuming she was the one in the middle that would mean she could remain completely clean. And it would also illustrate another variation or evolution of the routine which would hopefully glean higher marks from their course tutor. Maggie decided to keep her plans from her colleagues and instead got them to focus on other aspects of the performance such as the wardrobe and of course the actual pie hits they would be demonstrating.

Jean proposed they dress as cheerleaders but the other two objected as there was obviously no link between the costume and the sketch. Maggie suggested they wear white lab coats and pretend to be scientists which was in keeping with the original Monty Python skit, but the others thought that was keeping too close to it. Eventually Olga came up with a concept that the other two could agree on, dressing as bakers, which was both different and maintained a connection to the pies.

They then moved on to discussing and occasionally acting out the routines. Maggie played along as they pretended to hit one another with pies and noted down the various techniques to include. And then she had an inspired thought, Maggie suggested to keep the performance fresh they not over practice but instead simply react naturally to the recorded instructions. She volunteered to prepare the recording herself whilst assigning Jean to sort out the pies and Olga the costumes.

* * *

As the day of the performance arrived Maggie had mixed feelings about tricking her fellow course mates but still planned to go through with it. She'd already provided the sound technician with the recording she'd produced and was now making her way to the changing rooms to get into her costume. On stage she could see that someone had already covered the floor with plastic sheets and there was a long trestle table at the rear whose contents were hidden by a large cloth.

Maggie headed to the changing room where she met up with Olga and Jean. What came as a surprise was that both were wearing skimpy bikinis; Olga's was red, Jean's green and there was a blue one resting over a chair. Before Maggie could object to the revealing clothing Olga pointed out to the three sets of chef's whites hanging up on the wall behind her. The whites consisted of jackets and matching hats although no trousers.

"You'd better get changed quickly" Olga stated.

Putting aside her shyness, Maggie did as recommend by quickly stripping out of her clothes and putting on the yellow bikini. She then immediately went over to the wall to grab a jacket and slipped it on. Unfortunately, the jacket barely covered her bikini bottoms, leaving her legs totally exposed which wasn't something she had planned. But of course, it was too late now to complain or find alternative costumes, so she put on a hat and waited the others to complete their dressing.

The three of them made their way to the stage together passing a number of their fellow students who were still awaiting their turn to perform. The stage curtains had been closed which gave them a few minutes to complete their preparations. Olga put on her chef's hat whilst Jean removed the cloth from the trestle table to reveal row after row after row of genuine cream pies. Maggie had expected her to simply spray some shaving foam on to a dozen or so paper plates not all this.

"I might have gotten a little carried away" Jean explained.

Maggie didn't quite know what to think; first Olga's messes up on the costumes and now Jean does the same with the pies. But it was far too late to do anything about them now so they would just have to persevere and get through the routine. At least now she didn't feel so guilty about adjusting the script so that she avoided any mess especially as Jean's pies looked particularly creamy and Olga's costumes weren't as all covering as she'd expected.

One of their fellow students who was acting as the assistant stage manager signalled it was time to begin. They quickly lined up in front of the trestle table facing forward with Maggie in the middle, Jean on her right and Olga on the left. The curtains opened to reveal a half empty theatre, there were a scattering of other students and obviously their tutor was sitting in the front row. Maggie took a deep breath to calm her nerves as they waited for the sound technical to start the recording.

"Welcome to our slapstick demonstration" Maggie's pre-recorded voice announced.

The three women stepped forward out of the shadows, so they were clearly illuminated by the spotlights. This provoked a couple of wolf whistles from the audience due to their sexy costumes which Maggie wasn't sure whether to be insulted or pleased about. After a brief pause, they turned round, and each picked up a cream pie from off the table. Then they spun around to face forward once again, revealing their messy ammunition to gasps and giggles from the fellow students.

"First, the straight on pie in the face" the recording continued.

Olga and Maggie turned to face one another. They both lifted the pies they were holding to tease those watching for a moment or two before Olga lowered her. She then caught Maggie's eye and gave her a quick nod. Maggie stepped forward and planted her cream pie into her course mate's accepting face. This generated a huge burst of laughter from the audience as Olga stood there with cream dripping down on to her white coat.

"Next the surprise delivery."

Maggie had re-equipped herself with another pie as she and Jean stepped forward facing each other. Jean raised her pie as if preparing to strike but suddenly Maggie thrust her pie into Jean's face. As they turned back to the audience Maggie realised now was the tricky part as she stood between Olga and Jean with them expecting to sandwich her between their pies. But the recording was silent on that particular action and Maggie was careful not to catch either of their glances.

"We now move on to more complex interactions such as the duck and hit."

All three-woman lined up with Maggie standing in the middle before turning sideways on so that Jean and Maggie were facing one another and Olga looking at the back of Maggie's head. Maggie could see that Jean wasn't best impressed with her betrayal but at least for the moment she was following the recorded instructions. As Jean took a step forward and started to thrust with her pie, Maggie ducked down so that the pie ended up splattering against Olga's face.

"And the unfortunate duck attempt."

Jean shuffled position so that she now stood between the other two. She faced Olga who was the only one still with a pie in hand, whilst Maggie stood nervously behind Jean. Initially it looked to the audience as if this would be a repeat of the previous pieing as Olga stepped forward and Jean ducked down. But this time instead of striking the person behind, Olga swung the pie downwards such that as Jean ducked, she buried her own face into the creamy dessert.

To the accompaniment of laughter from the audience, the three women made their way back over to the trestle table for more pies. As they did so Maggie took the opportunity to check out her course mates. Olga seemed happy enough and even gave Maggie a knowing smile whilst Jean had a face like thunder under all the pie filling coating her face. All three of them took a pie from the table and once again lined up on the stage, this time with Olga standing in the middle.

"And the ever-popular sandwich."

Maggie and Jean took their pies and sandwiched Olga's head between them. Then as Olga stood there wiping cream filling from out of her eyes Jean and Maggie returned to the table to resupply. However, this time they each picked up a couple of pies from the table before returning to take up position to the left of Olga. She glanced at the pair of pies her colleagues were now carrying and then down at the single pie she held, which garnered some giggles from the audience.

"Although some techniques strike a bum note."

The three women all turned to the face the right of the stage. Maggie initiated proceedings by taking her pie and slapping against Jean's bottom. Jean in turn repeated this action by decorating Olga's bikini bottoms with one of the pies she held. The pie stuck to Olga's rear, and she was forced to shake her rear quite vigorously to dislodge it. Then all three-woman turned back to face to audience as they approached the finale of their sketch.

"And lastly the self-pie."

Olga and Jean simultaneously smashed themselves in the face with the pies they carried. Maggie didn't follow suit and instead kept hold of her pie until Jean looked over at her accusingly. Maggie shrugged and after first knocking off Jean's chef's hat she slammed the pie down on top of her course mate's head. Then to the laugher and cheering of her fellow students, Maggie took a bow as she waited for the final part of her recording to play. But that's when things took an unexpected turn.

"However, we shouldn't forget about retaliation" Olga's pre-recorded voice came over the PA system.

Maggie couldn't quite believe what she'd just heard and wondered if it was just her guilt talking to her. She glanced over at the others to see that Olga had removed her chef's jacket, much to the delight of at least the male half of the audience, and was using it to wipe most of the cream from off her face. Jean meanwhile had gone to the table at the back and was now returning with a pie in hand and a very determined look upon her face.

As Jean started to thrust her pie toward her, Maggie raised her hands to conceal her face. Unfortunately, what Maggie didn't count on was Olga who was standing behind her and grabbed hold of her chef's jacket before ripping it right off. Maggie lowered her hands to cover near naked body as the audience reacted with wolf-whistle and cheers. Maggie looked pleadingly at Jean but knew there was nothing she could now say or do to deter her course mates from enacting some payback.

Jean thrust her pie into Maggie's face and made sure to twist it back and forth to ensure maximum coverage. Then whilst Meggie whipped the creamy filling from out of her eye, Jean and Olga went to pick up more pies. What followed was brutal as Maggie received pies to her face, both sides of her head and the back of her head simultaneously. Jean and Olga then covered the rest of her body with pie including over her breasts and against her bum and even her crotch.

By the time Maggie's two course mates were finished, she had literally and figuratively received her just desserts. She was covered from head to toe in pie filling but there was still one indignity left before the three of them took their final bows on the stage. Olga reached out with her arm and knocked off Maggie's hat whilst Jean deposited the final pie on top of Maggie's head to the laughter and applause of their fellow students and tutor.

* * *

Maggie and her two course mates received high marks for the routine. Whilst the tutor commented that the script itself was a little too derivative of the original Monty Python routine, they heaped priase on the actual performance and in particular Maggie's acting at the end where she appeared shocked at her "obvious" comeuppance. Maggie ruefully accepted the marks but swore never again to perform on stage or get involved in slapstick again.

The end.