London: Ok girls, any questions?

Kiri: Who are you exactly?

London: I am your mistress of mess. Also creator of the show.

Sam: You mentioned some celebs. Who are they?

London: You will find out when we start the first game.

Jodie: When will we start the first game?

London: When you stop asking questions.

Stacey: Let's get on with it then.

Stacey jumps up off the sofa as does Sarah. London gestures for them all to follow her. They go across the dining room and through one of the doors that was previously locked. Jodie and Sam are right behind Stacey and Sarah. Kiri and Emily take a more leisurely stroll across the house.

Once inside the room the lights come on revealing tables and tables full of pies all down one side of the room. There are two sofas facing each other and curtains on the opposite wall to the tables of pies. There are lots of gasps from the girls.

London: First of all I need to divide you into two teams. We have one blonde celeb and one brunette celeb so I figured a team of blondes and a team of brunetttes.

They all gather around grouping themselves by hair colour. There seems to a bit of confusion as to which group Jodie should joi as she has blonde highlights. They soon realise the three brunettes have very dark coloured hair so Jodie teams with the two blondes.

London: Excellent. Now sit on the sofas in your teams and I will present you with the celebs.

London opens the curtain and Emma Bunton and Victoria Beckham are sat down on a stage. Emma in a short blue dress and Victoria a short black dress. They are both looking gorgeous with their hair and make up done perfectly. They wave to their teams not exactly sure what is expected of them.

London: Now before we do anymore I am just going to make sure neither of you try to run off. We know what you celeb types are like!

London pulls out two sets of handcuffs. First she takes Victoria's hands and cuffs them behind the chair. She is to confused to retaliate. Before Emma realises what is going on London has cuffed her hands behind the chair to.

Emma: What is going on? Where is Martine?

Victoria: Have you set me up Emma? You said we were helping Martine with a show she was presenting.

Emma: That is what Martine told me!

London: Martine is presenting this show but it was actually me that contacted you Emma. You and Victoria are our pie targets. Brunette team will aim their pies at Emma and blonde team will be throwing their pies at Victoria.

Emma/Victoria: WHAT!!!

London: Don't worry you will soon start to love it. Anyway. Teams, this is your chance to learn a bit about each other. I will ask you something about one of the girls from the other team and you will have to tell which girl it is about. If you get it right, you pie the other teams pie target. Get it wrong the other team pie your pie target. The winning team will be the one with the cleanest pie target at the end of the quiz. The winning team will get the best bedroom and they will also get to use up any leftover pies on the team captain of the losing team. Does that all make sense?

Jodie: Yep. This sounds fun.

Kiri: It doesn't sound fun for the losing captain!

London: Anyone object to Jodie and Kiri being the team captains?

Sam: Not at all.

Sarah: Fine by me.

Emily: Sounds good to me.

Stacey: I am happy with that.

London: Question 1 for Jodie's team. Which member of Kiri's team has a nose fetish?

Sam: Kiri made your nose into a pig nose Jodie. Surely it must be her?

Sarah: I wasn't there for that but happy to go with that if you both are?

Jodie: I think you might be right Sam. We will go with Kiri.

London: Nope afraid not. It was actually Emily!

Kiri: Cool fetish Emily.

Jodie: I can't believe that was wrong. Sorry Emma.

London: Ok Kiri go and get a pie and throw it at Emma from the edge of the stage.

Kiri goes over to the table and pics up a chocolate cream pie. She weighs up the pie in her hand. Then she walks up to the stage and aims it at Emma's face.

Kiri: Any last requests Emma?

Emma: Don't pie me babe. I didn't sign up for this!

Kiri tosses the pie through the air and it hits Emma's face perfectly. The chocolate cream splatters all over her face and down over her chest. She shakes her head and blinks her eyes trying to clear them. She has to spit pie out of her mouth and snort it out her nostrils.

Victoria: you definitely deserve that for getting me involved in all this mess!

Emma: This isn't my fault. She tricked me. Can someone clean my face?!

Kiri hi fives her teammates as she sits back down between them.

London: That was impressive Kiri. Have you done that before?

Kiri: No, I am just naturally good at everything!

London: Ok well brunettes it is your question. Which of the blondes has a fetsish for licking bums and having her own bum licked?

Kiri: No one would ever want to lick Sam's massive arse would they?

Emily: I don't know, if you have a bum fetish maybe bigger is better.

Stacey: I think it is Sarah. I would be happy to lick her bum. Or have her lick my bum!

Kiri: I think Stacey might be right.

Emily: Yeah, let's go for Sarah.

London: Sarah is correct! Stacey, your turn to pie Emma.

Stacey gives Sarah the eye as she gets up and Sarah gives Stacey a wink. This gives Stacey fanny flutters and her excitement increases as she picks up a cherry pie. She can't help but wonder what it would be like to pie Sarah. Stacey gets that thought out of her head and aims the pie at Emma's chocolate covered face.

Emma: You don't have to do this Stacey. Pie London she set me up!

Stacey lobs the pie and it hits Emma's forehead then slides up over her head. The cream splatters everywhere and the cherry purée slides down over her trademark blonde hair. Emma rocks back and forth trying to shake the pie off her head but it is stuck on like a hat. All the girls are laughing including Victoria.

London: Again a very good pieing. Blondes your question now. Which of our brunettes has a boob fetish?

Sarah: How are we supposed to know that?

Sam: Actually Sarah, that is easy. Stacey couldn't keep her eyes off mine and Jodie's boobs. That is until you came in.

Jodie: Yeah definitely Stacey.

London: That is correct. Jodie you get to throw a pie at Victoria now!

Sarah isn't sure how to feel. She thought there was a connection between her and Stacey. Sarah knew she had lovely boobs but Sam and Jodie had bigger boobs than her. What if Stacey preferred them to her? Sarah tries to make eye contact with Stacey but she is too busy watching Jodie getting ready to throw a pie at Victoria.

Jodie has picked up a large custard pie. She is clearly unsure exactly where to aim the pie. She holds it in one hand above her shoulder still looking very clumsy. She feels the pie slipping out of her hand so she tosses it, in the process she falls forward and ends up on the floor. When she looks up she sees Victoria still completely clean and she is laughing her head off. Jodie turns to face Emma and sees the custard pie she had just thrown has splattered all over Emma's chest.

Emma: Jodie you bitch!

Jodie: I am so sorry Emma. I was aiming it at Victoria and it slipped.

Emma: You know if I end up messier than Vic, you will end up even messier.

Jodie: Yes of course. We need to win this girls!

Jodie says getting to her feet. She apologies to Sam and Sarah as she sits back down between them. The brunettes are looking ecstatic as they look forward to sleeping comfortably tonight.

London: Right we'll still a long way to go so brunettes, which of our blondes has a cum fetish?

Stacey: It's got to be between Jodie and Sam right? It can't be Sarah again!

Emily: I think you are right.

Kiri: It could be either of them to be fair. I imagine Sam is more of a swallower and Jodie prefers it over her face!

Emily: Ha ha yeah I can imagine that.

Stacey: Let's go Jodie then.

Kiri: Yep Jodie it is.

London: Well done guys that is correct. Emily time for you to let a pie fly.

Emily: Before I pie Emma can I do something to Victoria? It's just I have always been a huge fan of Victoria and I don't think I will ever get the chance to do this again.

London: Of course, do what you want to her she can't stop you!

Emily picks up a treacle pie and takes it onto the stage. She holds it in her left hand and points her index finger on her right hand. Victoria knows what is coming. She knows Emily is about to test out her nose fetish on her.

Victoria: Emily not you too. Emma is always squashing my nose!

Emily: That's because you have a lovely nose.

Emma: She does doesn't she!

Emma is trying to blink cream from her eyelids so she can get a good look at Emily's nose. When Emma sees how large and wide it is she gets a twinge of excitement. Emma also notices how excited Emily is as she starts to squash Victoria's nose down flat. Emily really squashed it hard pressing her nostrils out wide. Then Emily starts to wobble it around too.

Victoria: Ok that's enough now!

Emma: Emily we should definitely play noses some time.

Emily: I would love to, but right now I want to do this.

Emily lets go of Victoria's nose and takes the pie in her right. She smashes the sticky treacle pie into Emma's face. She really grinds it in. Emma realises how much her nose is getting squashed during this process and despite the mess she is in she realises she is actually enjoying it. Eventually Emily slides the pie up and makes sure plenty of the sticky syrup goes over Emma's hair. Emily heads off stage and gives Victoria's nose one last tweak as she goes by.

Jodie: That's cheating. She didn't throw the pie.

London: True but it was funny. So from now on you can go on stage to pie your pie targets!

Victoria has a look of fear across her face knowing the blondes will definitely get her next time. Emma realises this and she loves having the pie rubbed into her face so she starts to laugh.

London: Ok blondes if you get this right you are allowed on the stage to pie Victoria. Who from the brunettes has a fetish for treating people like pigs?

The blondes all look at each other and nod. Kiri looks down to the floor releasing this was too easy even for some blondes.

Jodie: That will be Kiri.

London: Correct. Sam you can be the first one on stage to pie Victoria.

Victoria: No Sam please please please don't pie me!

Sam heads to the pie table. She takes a custard pie as Jodie had before. Sam has her eyes on Victoria. She can't believe how excited she was feeling about pieing Victoria. She walks past the brunettes and in seen to her Kiri sticks out a leg. Sam stumbles and realises she is going to fall so launches the pie towards the stage.

Sam just gets her hands out in front of her but still falls flat on the floor, her boobs almost spilling out of her top. She looks up and sees the pie heading to the stage. It is going nowhere near Victoria and splats over Emma's lap. Sam gets up and scowls at Kiri.

Sam: That was your fault. You delebritly tripped me.

Kiri: It's not my fault you can't see where you are going over those big fat saggy tits.

Jodie: Don't worry Sam. Don't stoop to her level. We will get the next ones right!

London: Brunettes which of the blonde team have a face squishing fetish?

Kiri: There is only one girl we haven't picked.

Stacey: What if they picked two fetishes?

Emily: I only told them one.

Stacey: So did I.

Kiri: I only gave one so in that case it must be Sam.

London: Correct. Back to you Kiri. You can go up and pie Emma hard!

Emma: Oh yes Kiri please do. Pie me as hard as you like!

Emma has changed her tune now she knows her nose will get squashed in the pieing process. Kiri wants to humiliate Emma though so picks up a pie full of sour cream. Kiri takes it up onto the stage and rams it into Emma's face. Emma loves the smooth velvety feeling of the cream and then her nose being smushed. Then the taste and smell hits her.

Emma: urghhh what was that?

Emma spits and moans as Kiri walks back to her place.

Kiri: I think it was sour cream.

Emma: That was gross.

London: Blonde team. Which of the brunettes use to love fingering themselves while watching Holly Willoughby on Saturday morning tv?

Sam: Surley it's Stacey she is open about being a lesbian?

Jodie: Ministry of mayhem was nearly 20 years ago. Surely Stacey would have been to young.

Sarah: I think everyone has fingered themselves over Holly at some point. I don't think Kiri would admit it though.

Jodie: I am with you Sarah, it must be Emily.

London: Emily is correct!

Sarah: I did the same Emily!

Sam: And me.

Jodie: Me too.

Stacey: I think she was on this morning before I became sexually active. But yeah I have cum for her one or two thousand times!

Kiri: You bunch of clitty lickers!!

London: Sarah let's see if you can be the first one to pie Victoria!

Sarah again elects for a custard pie. Lovely contrast in colour to the dark haired Victoria. Sarah gives Kiri and the others a wide berth and makes her way up onto the stage with no problems.

Sarah: Any last words, Posh?

Victoria: I hate it when people call me that!

Splat! Sarah shoves the pie into Victoria's face. Her head rocks back but Sarah holds the pie over her face, twisting and turning it. Custard and cream splatters down all over Victoria's body. Eventually Sarah lets go and Victoria shakes her head furiously and gasps for air. Sarah calmly walks back to her seat.

London: That's better, finally a blonde girl lands a pie!

Victoria: I hate all of you!

London: get over yourself Vic. Anyway, Which of the blondes used to wank their boss off until they cum in the toilet so much that customers complained of the smell?

Stacey: We already know Jodie has a cum fetish. Surely she wouldn't want to waste the cum down the toilet?

Kiri: Or maybe this was where her cum fetish came from?

Emily: It could be any of them. We know she has the cum fetish so should we go with her?

Stacey: Nothing else to go on is there.

Kiri: Ok we are saying Jodie.

London: That is correct. Stacey, your turn to do the pieing!

Stacey takes a cheesecake. She heads on stage. Sarah really did splatter Victoria good with the custard pie but she was still way cleaner than Emma. Stacey was tempted to pie Victoria. Then she looked at Jodie and realised she might get her hands on Jodie's huge tits if the brunettes win. Stacey rams the creamy strawberry cheesecake into Emma's face. Emma is once again delighted to feel her nose pressed against the firm biscuit base of the cake. The mess falling around her doesn't bother her at all as it all tastes and smells so good. Stacey looks at the state of Emma and feels confident their team will win as she heads back to her seat.

London: So blondes, which brunette was sick the first time she tried sucking cock?

Sarah: Is that Stacey? Maybe that turned her into a lesbian.

Jodie: Good theory Sarah.

Sam: I don't know. Would a lesbian ever go anywhere near a cock?

Jodie: Good point to Sam. Can't be Emily can it?

Sam: Leave it with you captain!

Sarah: I can't decide either!

Jodie: Oh god. Thanks for nothing you two! I am going to Kiri!

London: That is correct. Jodie give it to Vic!

Jodie almost looks surprised. She grabs a pie piled high with mayonnaise. She skips up onto stage and smashes it in Victoria's face. Jodie rubs it all around her head, totally messing up her hair. The white creamy goo splatters down all over Victoria's body.

London: At this point Victoria has only received two pies but she has been messed up good! Brunettes, one of our blondes had their 20 year old niece stay over but she got drunk. The blonde then rubbed her vagina all over her niece's face. Who would do that?

Kiri: It's between Sam and Sarah. Jodie has already admitted to doing anything to get a job.

Stacey: I think it's Sam. I am very jealous of the niece if it was Sarah though.

Emily: I was trying to think who is more likely to have a twenty year old niece but that are both similar age. I am 60/40 for Sam.

Kiri: Sam would be more desperate for someone to lick her pussy I agree. Final answer Sam!

London: It was actually Sarah! Sam, your turn to pie Victoria!

Victoria: Make it a nice pie will you Sam? This mayo is disgusting!

Sam picks out a pie full of beans. She gives Kiri and the brunette's a wide berth following the previous tripping incident. She rams the pie of beans into Victoria's face the slides it down over her chest. Although Victoria was now covered in beans it had cleared a lot of the mayo away. Victoria spits beans from her mouth as Sam sits back down.

Victoria: I said a nice pie!

London: I think that was a nice pie. I don't know what you did Sam but Vicky somehow seems cleaner after that. Blondes, which of our brunette's has sold videos of herself masterbating?

Sam: I have no clue!

Sarah: I am thinking of Stacey as I would love to see those videos.

Jodie: Come on girls. It has to be Stacey. We already had confessions from the other two!

Sam: Oh yeah of course.

Sarah: That might be what London wants us to think.

Jodie: Let's go Stacey anyway.

London: Stacey is correct. Sarah your up!

Sarah looks at Stacey and Stacey looks back at Sarah. They both grin at each other, seemingly knowing what the other one is thinking. Sarah gets up and grabs cherry yogurt pie. Sarah gets on stage and slams it down on the top of Victoria's head. The purple lumpy mess cascades down all over Victoria's hair and face.

London: This is the last question and although Emma has received 7 pies and Victoria only 4 I don't think there is much difference in how messy they are. If the brunette's get this wrong one well placed pie on Victoria could still win it for the blondes.

Jodie grabs her teammates hands but realises there isn't much chance of the brunettes getting the last question wrong. Kiri grabs her teammates' hands too.

Kiri: We got this girls. Then we can pie Jodie the pig to oblivion!

Jodie sticks her tongue out at Kiri. She had wanted to win but seeing how Emma had enjoyed the last few pieings made Jodie think it could be a great experience to be pied.

London: Which of our blondes squirted over a cake and then fed it to her friends and family?

Stacey: Has to be Sam she hasn't had a confession yet.

Emily: Could be a trick. Would London make it that easy?

Kiri: I agree with both of you. It's alright for you two it's me that gets ruined if we are wrong!

Stacey: I still think we will when Emma is in a much bigger mess than Victoria.

Kiri: Ok let's just go with Sam.

London: Sam is correct. Emily your turn to pie Emma. Unless anything goes drastically wrong the brunetttes will win!

Emily pics up a mash potato and gravy pie. She walks carefully up onto the stage and dumps it on top of Emma's head. Her once beautiful blonde hair is now matted with allsorts of mess. Gravy and mash potatoe the latest ingredients to cover it. It slides down over her face too making her unrecognisable. Potato plops down onto her lap adding to the pile of mess that is saturating her knickers.

London: Good job Emily. I am sure we can all agree Emma is by far the messier of the two celebs. The brunettes therefore win the challenge and get to sleep in the main bedroom. The blondes will sleep in the shed in the garden. Not only that, the brunettes get to cover Jodie with all the other pies.