The lights come up on the circus ring to reveal a series of tables with all sorts of food items and food ingredients around the edge with a forward table on the right of the circus ring with more food items and cooking equipment. Behind this table stands Natalia looking her usual pristine self with beautifully done long blonde hair with a gentle wave in it and perfect make up. Natalia is wearing a lovely daring dress, which is brown with white polka dots.

Natalia greets the audience warmly and introduces herself and explains that she has come along to present her cooking show, which will be instead of the normal clown show. This is because it's been decided that a more cultural and educational experience would be better for everyone than the 'silly' clowns.

This announcement is greeted with a cold lack of enthusiasm by the audience but this does not seem to deter Natalia at all.

Natalia says she wants to start with some basic cooking techniques and she will start with beating eggs. Natalia proceeds to crack the eggs, all six into a glass bowl and to professionally whip them. As Natalia does this four clowns appear at the back of the stage. They wander around looking at the lovely food. Meanwhile Natalia has moved on to turning the eggs into some meringue mixture.

Natalia is interrupted by the clowns who come over to her. Natalia seems slightly irritated by them. The clowns ask what Natalia is doing and Natalia tells them she is educating! Natalia asks the clowns to go! The crowd boo and the clowns look sad so Natalia says they can stay but they must sit quietly at the back and not misbehave. The clowns promise they will be good and retreat to the back of the ring where there are tables loaded with food and some chairs.

Natalia carries on her lecture demonstrating how to puree some apples.

The next moment I walk past the clowns at the back. It appears I am on my way out to formal lunch, I am dressed up in my beige sweater dress, knee high black boots, black leather handbag, with my hair freshly done as well as my makeup.

The clowns call out to me and I notice them and step over to them. The clowns say how nice I look and I confirm I am on my way out to a lunch with girlfriends. I asks them what they are doing. They explain they are not doing an act but can only watch Natalia doing cooking. I seem to notice Natalia for the first time at her table with what seems a whole show to herself. Of course this makes me jealous and think why her? Why not me?

After a few moments with a sulky expression I suggest to the clowns with a wicked grin that maybe they could mess Natalia up a bit, it would be a lot more fun than this!

The clowns look a bit shocked and say they have promised to be good. I suggest that maybe 'accidents' can happen.

The clowns seem to think this is a good idea. The clowns ask the audience if this is a fun idea! The audience are all for some messy fun and cheer in support. Natalia is just carrying on giving her worthy but boring lecture.

The clowns are now quite excited and ask me what sort of accident could they make with Natalia, who has moved onto cake decoration over at her table. The clowns suggest building a tower and dropping messy food on her. I roll my eyes and tell them they need to keep it simple and quick! I Put down my handbag as it seems my lunch will have to wait. The clowns seem lost for ideas. I point at the cake Natalia is decorating and suggest they ask her to describe the smell and when she is sniffing the cake push her face in it!

The clowns seem to get the idea. One of them gets a huge chocolate cake with a thick layer of chocolate cream icing on top from a back table , puts it on the empty table by me and sniffs at it from a standing position! I sigh in exasperation! I say she won't smell it from there! She will bend right over the cake. I demonstrate by bending right over, tucking my hair behind my ears and putting my face just above the cake. Oh the clowns say - we see. And then one of them pushes my face right down into the cake!!!

The crowd roar with laughter! I stay down in the cake for a moment and then slowly stand back up, my face thickly plastered in thick chocolate icing and some mashed chocolate sponge. Like that? Ask the clowns. The crowd laugh more. I nod slowly and start to wipe my eyes clear of mess.

Meanwhile Natalia has finished the cake and had moved on to how to make fluffy fresh scrambled eggs. The clowns say it's too late now to do the smell the cake accident they need to think of something else. I give them disparaging look as it seems I have to do all the thinking. I point out the chair close behind Natalia. I say they could put the cake on the chair and push it up behind Natalia making her sit in it! One clown nods thoughtfully with me agreeing the plan. The other two clowns find a huge strawberry cream cake with lots of whipped cream on top and put it on a chair behind me. The crowd titter with anticipation as the chair is pushed up behind me! Once the chair is right behind me one clown carefully lifts up the back of my short dress to reveal my bottom in some simple green panties. The other clown then pushes the chair into the back of my legs and I cannot help put sit down right in the cake! The audience get a clear view of my panties clad bottom sinking into the cake!

The audience laugh and cheer this fresh humiliation as I gasp in shock and disbelief! The clowns all agree this would be a great prank to play on Natalia. I give them a venomous look. I slowly get up from the chair, my bottom is very messy. I make an attempt to keep my dress away from my messy behind but it's hopeless.

The clowns say they have an idea! I ask what it is. They say they will show me! Before I can say anything they go over to the pristine Natalia and ask her if they might examine her wonderful meringue mixture more closely. Natalia gives them the large bowl of still white mixture pointing out how it is just peaking to indicate its ready! The clowns express admiration. I await desperately for the clowns to let Natalia have it somehow but instead they bring the bowl back over to me! I give them a look of puzzlement. The clowns indicate I should wait a moment. Then one of them picks up my soft black leather bag pulls the drawstring style opening open holds the bad wide open so that another clown can empty all the meringue mix into my handbag! I look on in shock! They hand me my mess stuffed handbag, I look down into it to see the mess and right then another clown claps his hands together with the bag in between and meringue mixture explodes up into my face and hair!

Roars of laughter! I stand paralysed for a moment before looking up and around. The clowns ask me if they think that is a good one for Natalia. I slowly point out that Natalia has not got a handbag with her, and they have used up all the meringue mixture! The clowns look downcast and admit this is a problem.

One of the clowns says they should keep it simple, another asks what he means. The first says simple trip accidents are best and picks up a large bowl of chocolate pudding. I am still wiping my eyes. The clown with bowl walks round, pretends to stumble and puts the bowl over my head! The crowd laugh! Chocolate pudding splatters down my hair and over my shoulders. I slowly lift the bowl off my head. Another clown is saying he thinks custard is better than chocolate pudding he picks up a bowl 'trips' and puts the bowl of custard over my head! More cheers from the crowd! The custard forms streams down the front and back of my dress. Once again I slowly lift the bowl off my head. The last clown shakes his head and says trifle is the best for this sure enough he picks up a bowl of trifle and to more cheers from the crown puts this over my head!

I stand as lumps of mashed trifle splatter down me. I decide to leave the bowl on this time but this does work out either because I stumble back against the chair and sit back down in the cake! This time the back of my dress getting a dose of mess. The crowd are loving this as I get more and more mess!

The clowns say they have another idea. I just sit very still. The clowns take off my nice black knee high boots! The boots are filled with mushy peas! The crowd both groan in disgust and laugh. I am helped out of my seat and made to put my boots back on! Peas ooze out over the top of my ruined boots! The clowns ask me if that is a good plan for Natalia. I quietly point out Natalia is not wearing boots but her cream high heels!

I take the trifle bowl off my head, clear my eyes of some mess sliding down my forehead. I say that they have nearly run out of time to get Natalia. They need a big mess plan now! The clown agree and says they have an idea! I am led (boots squelching) to the end of a 3m table with is covered in various flavour pudding pies. Chocolate, strawberry, banana, lime, blueberry, vanilla, they are all there! The crowd are eager to see my next inevitable humiliation and it's not long coming!

The clowns lift me up and lie me face down on the table and in the pies that happen to be under me, my face going in a blueberry pudding pie. To howls of laughter, a clown on each side of the table drag me along it by my arms through all the pies on the table! My face goes through ten different pudding pies. The clowns drop my arms when I reach th end! With no dignity or elegance I get off the table! My entire front is plastered in smeared pies!

Meanwhile Natalia seems to be wrapping up her talk, adding fine decoration to a lemon cheesecake. The clowns call out to her and Natalia comes over holding the cheesecake. Natalia struggles to recognise me. The clowns explain I have had a few accidents! Natalia is amazed at my appearance! What sort of accidents she asks.

The clowns say they will show her. One clown takes the cheesecake, another lifts the front of my messy dress, the third pulls open the front of my green panties and the cheesecake is slid into them! The crowd love it. I just stand as a stoic stooge now, looking ridiculous my dress held up by a cheesecake in my panties.

Natalia says she understands now and laughs along with everyone else.

Maybe we should have done the tower like we suggested one of the clowns says to me. Maybe I concede quietly. What is the tower thing Natalia wants to know clearly thinking it yet another humiliation for me.

The clowns asks the crowd if they should show Natalia the tower? The crowd of course love the idea that the messy humiliation moves onto Natalia the tedious cooking instructor and cheer loudly 'Yes!' Even I come back to life to an extent and nod vigorously. Natalia just smiles and claps in anticipation oblivious to her danger!

The clowns then display a marvellous acrobatic display putting together five steel sections which form a 2 metre tower in just 15 seconds! The tower has ladders up both sides, a large hole at the top! I gaze in amazement at the speed of this, the audience applaud this. Natalia looks really impressed as well.

Natalia asks what happens next. The clowns ask the audience if they should show Natalia how it works! The crowd shout 'Yes!' For all they are worth. Two clowns take buckets and climb up each side of the tower and the last clown leads Natalia to an office style chair with wheels. The clown tells Natalia this would be a great place to watch! Natalia sits on the chair and gazes over at me, clearly waiting for something horrible to happen to me.

But instead the clown gives Natalia's chair a gentle push that starts it moving toward the tower! Natalia seems not to see the danger and just smiles and continues to watch me. The audience cheer as the chair slows to stop right under the tower! Natalia still does not seem to get what is going on. The clown not on the tower asks the audience if they should. The crowd of course scream yes!

So one of the clowns on the tower empties his bucket through the hole! A thick stream of custard lands on Natalia's head, after briefly doming the custard quickly covers Natalia's head and long golden hair! Natalia's arms are outfield in shock. As the custard starts to run out the second bucket is emptied on Natalia , this is glossy thick chocolate sauce, this more viscous mess does not dome but forms thick streams down both Natalia's front and back. By the time the chocolate sauce runs out the first clown has been passed another bucket this one is full of baked beans. The beans add a nice lumpy look to the mess rolling down Natalia, a nice pool of mixed mess id building in Natalia's lap. The fourth bucket Natalia gets is simple double cream, this does dome off her head before adding thick rivers of white mess to the rest of the mess all over Natalia!

Natalia sits in shock gasping at this swift humiliation! I am smiling broadly despite my own humiliating messy state. Everyone gathers arounds the dripping Natalia who is still turning her head from side to side as if trying to understand what has happened to her. To make matters worse for Natalia the clowns have bought over the apple puree Natalia made earlier and proceed to stuff it down the front of Natalia's dress around her boobs. This fresh humiliation gets another cheer from the audience!

The show is over and everyone gives a wave to the crown except Natalia who sits with her jaw sagging open!