The circus ring is empty of people but there are tables with lots of pies, bowls of dessert and some jugs of sauces. The audience is hushed waiting for the show to start.

After a moment I walk into the ring with the beautiful Yana! Yana is wearing her pink party dress, black high heels and I am wearing some black stretch trousers, black knee-high boots with a high heel and a sleeveless, red satin blouse. Both of us seem to have spent some time getting our hair and makeup right.

Yana and I are talking and it becomes clear that Yana has asked to come and meet the clowns after I explained what fun they could be. As this chat goes on it is clear that I have not told Yana what this fun sometimes is! I congratulate Yana on her new dress and she thanks me and says that it is new! Yana goes to look closely at the pies and asks why there are so many. I tell her the clowns will show her when they arrive!

Yana bends to smell a big strawberry cake and my hand creeps up behind her it is clear that I want to push her face in the cake. The audience gasp and Yana straightens up curious about the noise. It is clear to the audience that I hope Yana and her dress get messy! Next Yana looks at a special chair with a huge tank above it full of bright yellow custard, Yana sits down and wonders aloud what the chair is for! The crowd see my temptation as my hand moves toward the tank release handle but Yana jumps up when she sees a huge jug of baked milk (toplyonoye moloko) and she says how much she loves it. I say that maybe later she will get some from the clowns and I am looking at her impressive breasts when I say this the audience know it think she should get it down her dress. Yana says she does not want to interfere with me and the clowns when we entertain everybody. But I say it is not a problem! I expect Yana will be able to help in a big way! Yana looks very pleased.

After a few moments of this the four clowns come into the ring to applause from the audience. They are already falling about and making everyone laugh. After a few moments of falling over each other they notice us and come over as ever keen to talk to pretty girls. All the clowns seem to like Yana a lot! Yana tells them all how much she wants to see their act and how good I had said it was. The clowns are very pleased by this and proceed to do more humorous tumbling and juggling which Yana does find very funny.

I keep waiting for the clowns to start to play around with some of the pies but they seem to ignore them and I start to get impatient to see Yana get messy! Soon one of the clowns pushes another and a mock comic fight breaks out and I am sure a pie fight must follow but just as it looks promising Yana while laughing calls for them to calm down which they then do! I cannot believe this is happening and the audience are laughing at my frustration!

I ask the lead clown if he has anything else he would like to show Yana. All the clowns pretend to think but appear to be unable to think of anything else. I stand with my hands on my hips in disbelief. Yana says she thinks it has been fine and great fun but perhaps she should go. I say no! I say that the clowns want to show her the 'pie trick'. The clowns look puzzled.

In desperation I go over to a table and pick up a pie. It's a big lemon pudding pie with pink cream decoration and I think it would look great in Yana's face! I bring the pie over to the main clown and show him the pie. Still he seems not to get it. I hand him the pie and say how he should show Yana the pie trick! At last the clown understands, as do his other friends!

The clown with the pie asks the audience if he should show Yana the pie! I cheer yes trying to get the audience to agree but they are not really sure they want to see Yana get the pie. Yana asks if she can please see how the pie thing works! The clown asks again and the audience seem to agree! I look really pleased! Yana just looks calm and amused.

The clown gets the pie up in throwing position and asks Yana if she is ready! Yana says she is! I am smiling widely waiting for the pie to hit Yana. The clown swings the pie but also skilfully twists and the pie goes right in my face! There is huge laughter in the audience! The badly cracked pastry case is stuck to my face, lemon pudding is all down my front making a mess of my red satin blouse. Yana is very amused by this outcome and tells the clown that she loves the pie trick while I slowly pick pie crust off my pudding covered face and wipe my eyes.

The clown is very pleased with Yana's praise and asks if she would like to see the trick again. Yana says she would! The clown is passed a large blueberry pudding pie with sliced strawberries on top by one of his fellow clowns. I am sure Yana is going to get this pie in her pretty face and feel much better! The clown asks if Yana is ready for the pie trick and she says yes.

Again the clown starts the pie swing and again turns so the pie goes in my face! This time the clown smears the pie up into my hair and pats the pie down on top of my head! This causes lots of laughter in the audience and Yana giggles as well.

While I wipe my eyes clear of the fresh mess and look down at the fresh pudding on my blouse Yana asks if the clown knows some other tricks. The clown says of course! A great trick is to pull down someone's trousers! I hear this and watch the clown carefully for any sign of him moving to pull down my trousers but the audience has already seen another clown creeping up behind me and are now waiting for this to happen. This clown points at my hips and makes a questioning pose for the crowd who cheer their agreement so he reaches out and pulls down my black stretchy trousers to my knees! Everyone can now see the bright green satin panties I am wearing!

Yana laughs again! And asks for more tricks! The clown thinks and then says sitting someone in a cake is a great trick. Of course by now the other clowns have a chair behind me. On it is the very large strawberry cake I wanted to push Yana's face into but instead I get sat in it now with a great cheer from the audience! It is a big cake spreading pink mess all over my bottom and back of my thighs.

Yana is really enjoying herself now and asks what else the clowns could do. The clowns say they will show her and they pull off my black high heel boots. I wave my hands around in protest as they fill my boots with cream. The crowd laugh loudly as the clowns put my boots back on cream spurting out of their tops! Cream is still oozing out of the boots as I stand up and trying to rescue my dignity by pulling up my trousers but not before everyone can laugh at the huge mess all over my bottom!

Yana asks if that is all there is and the main clown says there is one more thing it is great fun to pour mess down people's trousers! The clown takes the huge jug of baked milk I had earlier wanted to pour down Yana's dress and pulls open the front of my trousers. The clown asks the audience if he should and they all cry yes so, the beige thick creamy milk goes into my trousers! I let out a deep groan and the audience cheer!

After this I am lead to the chair with the tank of custard above it and sat down I seem to have become a passive acceptor of my fate! The clown asks if Yana would like to pull the handle to see what happens. Yana says she would love to! Yana steps up and pulls the handle! Nothing happens! The clowns rush around tapping bits of the machine but still nothing happens the custard does not fall onto me. I get up and also look at the machine but still we cannot see what is wrong! The clowns say it is broken and will not work. Yana says not to worry, as she wanted to sit down anyway. Yana sits down under the tank.

Without any further action from anyone there is a loud gurgling from the tank. Yana looks up and a thick stream of custard falls to hit her in the right in her pretty face! The custard quickly covers her hair and then the stream falls into her impressive cleavage! Once the tank is empty Yana is well covered in custard her pink dress completely soaked. The crowd laugh loudly at this reversal of fortune. Yana sits in apparent shock.

Encouraged by this I take a deep chocolate pudding pie and push it in Yana's face, the lead clown then pushes a banana cream pie in my face and the whole group gathers round Yana to take our applause from the audience!