"It's my year to pick the costumes, remember?" explained Stacy patiently as she stood in our living room with a mischievous smirk. I sighed, one look at her smoky eyes and sexy lips and I knew the debate was lost before it even began. I decided to risk it anyway however, because I never learn.

"If you are picking the costumes, then why am I standing here locked in a plush fetish bunnysuit again?" I inquired politely.

"Oh please, this is completely different! Last year's was pink, this one is white. Also, we had to throw last year's away because of the glue and skunk spray, remember?" Stacy reminded me in a patient but slightly condescending tone. Of course I remembered, two weeks glued into the humiliating monstrosity until our friend could synthesize the solvent for the adhesive. I sighed and waved my plush fluffy attached mittens dismissively, a less decisive looking gesture than I'd imagined in my head due to my adorable outfit.

This suit was different, more d-ring options for restraints for one, The other addition was a ruffled Elizabethan collar which also hid more D-rings. A bib with a large red heart and a stop-watch completed the ensemble, which only made sense when seen next to the adorably sexy costume Stacy was modelling, a revealing Alice in Wonderland costume with fluffy petticoats that billowed her skirt out, exposing her gorgeous white thigh-high tights with hearts and diamonds and a frilly white apron which still managed to show off her perfect cleavage. A the black headband framing her elegantly curled blonde hair. Patent leather Mary Janes finished the look, one which was currently driving me to distraction.

My cheeks and nose were still sunburned from the last of the tattoo removal treatments, but beyond that, no lasting affects from last year's mistaken humiliating prank from the evil CEO Jodi's crashing the party at the corn maze. Months after, we'd witnessed her trial for embezzling and assault. She'd received a relatively light sentence, probably in no small part due to the giggles from several members of the jury when they'd seen pictures of the adorable nose and whiskers tattoo Jodi had subjected me to. It probably wasn't helped by the fact that due to the powerful adhesive she'd been forced to attend the trial still wearing the silly plush pig costume she'd been glued into. She was sentenced to two years in a minimum security facility, a farm run by low-risk inmates.

Stacy snapped a leash around my costume's ruffled collar and led me outside. After a few practice hops across our backyard with several tumbles and Stacy giggling controllably, the late afternoon sun told us it was time to go.

Soon the suburbs vanished and the rows of cornfields began. In a nondescript farmhouse driveway two very large pumpkins painted with skunks stood guard beside the open gate. The corn maze seemed bigger this year, and somehow more ominous. We pulled into the farm to discover all our friends had arrived, as well as a few we'd not met before. Stacy ran up to Rachel and gave her a hug. Rachel - who had been a catgirl dominatrix last year, wore a frilly Bo Peep outfit this year, but the excess of feminine ribbons and bows somehow made her even more intimidating. John, the Night Manager who had been a lion last year, was an embarrassed looking sheep this year. I noticed shiny silver D-rings on his costume in the same places as mine. I gave him a handshake and a sympathetic nod.

Jennifer, the night manager from the small town grocery store where John and Rachel had met had been a sexy ringmaster last year, but had gone with a Latex nurse this year. "I'm not letting this place ruin my favorite costume again!" she grinned.

We spotted a couple unfamiliar faces and stepped over to introduce ourselves. "Hello, are you friends of Jill and Bryce?"
"Colleagues, actually," Chandni, a gorgeous, playful looking girl in a very sexy cow costume, greeted us with a wide smile. Beside her a very tall, sleek almost unnervingly beautiful woman wearing a frilly pink French Maid costume.
"Bonjour, It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Aimee, and this is my good friend Chandni. We are researching some, how you say, ideas for a client." she smiled sweetly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both. I love your costumes." I said cheerfully.

"Costumes? Ahh, yes. of course." Aimee added nervously. "Oh, here are our hosts now."

Bryce and Jill were already outside waving in greeting, Jill a vision in a sexy baker's costume and Bryce in a suit and tie and sunglasses, dressed like a spy.
"Dress for the job you want!" chuckled Bryce. "Besides, if I get glued into this costume, I can still go to meetings." everyone laughed. "Welcome back, everyone!" Jill climbed atop a nearby tractor to address the small, costume-clad crowd. "With the reward money we've been able to make some upgrades to this year's maze. Also for the first time, we'll not just be watching," A sticky blob of green frosting splatted into Jill's gorgeous face. Bryce chuckled, revealing the remote control for a nearby pie cannon. "but we'll be participating!" The crowd cheered. "Also Bryce, you'd better watch your back or I'll glue you into the skunk costume again." she giggled knowingly. Bryce shuddered.

Jill continued with a fake French accent, "Zis year's theme is La Pisserie. I have prepared for you de magnifiques desserts, all you can enjoy. And more, perhaps." she smirked.

"I believe zis is un faux accent." Aimee muttered under her breath.

Bryce continued. "Jill's Pisserie hosts many syrupy surprises and torte traps. As with last year, you will get very messy. If you'd prefer to opt out, no shame, you can watch from the porch. I'll even let you run one of the pie cannons! Also like last year, if you need help escaping a trap, there will be consequences. Unlike last year, an evil villainess bent on revenge won't be tattooing any of you and gluing you into bunny suits." Everyone chuckled and looked at me, my cheeks flushed. "Also, this year if you find the hidden item one of you will win a car. READY SET GO!!!" Everyone shrieked at this new revelation and scurried towards the illuminated entrance to the corn maze.

John, ever the rational one, paused before rushing in. "Last year we split up and that didn't go so well. Should we stick together?" He asked.

"Sure, as long as you don't mind that at some point I might disappear with my White Rabbit for awhile." Stacy purred shooting me a smokey look.

Aimee offered, "If it is all the same to you, I would enjoy seeing everyone's experiences together." Chandni nodded her agreement. "What fun is mess if not shared?" she added.

"Ok, sticking together then?" I asked. Everyone nodded their agreement. Rachel was busy giving John a playful spank with her shepherd's crook and we set off down the muddy path.

We didn't have to go far. At the first corner were several cartoonishly painted figures with holes for visitors to place their faces for funny pictures, six were cartoon crows and one a cartoon scarecrow. beyond was a canvas tarp blocking the path to rest of the maze. John jumped forward into one of the crows. "I learned my lesson last year, best not be the odd person out." he grinned from the cartoonish raven cutout. The others took their places behind the remaining crow figures, pressing their faces through the plywood openings. I rolled my eyes. "Fine, I guess I'm the scarecrow this time." I sighed, hopping to the scarecrow's cutout. The scarecrow form also had holes for my hands, or paws, as they were still bound in the white rabbit suit. I placed them through the holes and rested my chin against the face cutout. "Oh, there's a button by the chin." I observed, pressing it with my chin. A blast from an air cannon sounded and buckets of thick molasses cascaded down onto the murder of plywood crows, eliciting shrieks and giggles from the adventurers as the sticky molasses coated their hair and shoulders and oozed slowly down their chests and backs. Another snap and bags of fluffy black feathers coated each of them from bags released from above the maze. Laughing, I tried to withdraw my paws from the cutout. They wouldn't budge. Each of the now sticky, molasses-and-feathered visitors grumbled as they pulled away from the cutouts, now sticky, feathery dark clouds of feathers. The tarp dropped, revealing the path ahead as well as a table laden with pies with a sign, "CROW'S REVENGE." Giggling, Stacy grabbed one of the pies off the table and sauntered up to me with the pie. "This is for turning me into a messy crow." she purred before twisting the pie into my face playfully. The others snatched up their own pies, picking my most vulnerable spots to apply their creamy revenge. When the final pie was lifted from the table, Aimee noticed a pressure switch snap, releasing my wrists. I stood and wiped the cream from my face with my costume paws and stepped forward to lead the messy clouds down the maze path, but Aimee just wagged her finger in front of my face. "Ah ah ah.' she scolded, motioning me to turn around. I obediently turned. She slapped the pie firmly into my bunny tail with a splat. "There! Now we can go." she smiled sweetly.

The dim path curved slightly to the left. I trudged behind the trail of dripping molasses and feathers, the pie filling soaking into the seat of my costume and into my boxers, the cool night air stinging my still pie-coated and sticky cheeks. I was glad for the warm costume, I'm not sure how the girls were getting by with their short skirts and costumes soaked with molasses, but the energy was still palpable, excited giggles from up head. I heard a series of splats, and a scream. One of the pie cannons had activated, connecting with one of the revelers, I couldn't yet see who. We broke into a run down the path. Ducking into a dark corridor, there was another scream. Suddenly something that felt like spider webs touched my nose and face. My heart skipped a beat. I clawed it away with my pie-stained mitten. It smelled sweet. The group came to the same realization at once, cotton candy! The wispy clouds of pink and blue soon thickened. Our hands were sticky from clearing the way. Soon, the strands had formed a dense wall. Jennifer plunged her arm through. "It is only a couple feet thick." She observed. Everyone pushed forward, tearing through the thick fluffy candy floss until we'd broken through into the center. A light came on above, and an electric whirring sound. We were trapped in a room with cotton candy on all sides. From above us, clouds of sticky cotton candy began to descend. What parts of us that weren't already coated in feathers, molasses, pie and more were now vanishing underneath the warm pink fluffy clouds clinging to our messy outfits. Squeals and giggles erupted. I pushed my mittened arms through the cotton candy on one wall only to hit a wall of what felt like plywood. John did the same on his side. On the third wall, there was a narrow gap. We'd have to squeeze through. One by one we climbed through the thick cotton candy, emerging on the other side nearly identical, unrecognizable bundles of pink fluff.


Midway lights turned on and a carnival theme played. The sides of the corn rows were decorated like a carnival, but the aisle was blocked by a wall of cotton candy. We gathered around the carnival booth. A counter with squirt guns faced a shooting gallery wall. The only thing missing was a target. In a crumpled pile on the counter was a fluffy plush yellow duck costume with a target made of concentric red rings on the tummy. A note was pinned to it. "Pick a duck."

"Any volunteers?" John asked. Only the sound of crickets answered. "Fine." he sighed, pulling the fluffy duck costume over his head and taking his position. He flapped his arms comically. "quack." he said drolly as he walked back and forth. The others scrambled for their squirt guns and took aim. Stacy hit the target first, soaking John's costume in green slime. A light and bell sounded and a bucket of warm water dumped over Stacy with a shriek. The cotton candy and feathers mostly rinsed away but leaving her hair dripping wet. The others stopped firing as the realization hit them. Still, there didn't seem to be another option. Aimee was next, with laser like precision she connected with John, a thick purple goo splattering the target on the duck costume. Another bell and another bucket of warm water. Aimee was ready and quickly rinsed the goo from her maid costume. I was next, an easy shot with yellow glop, the bell, then a welcome warm rinse. Chandni was next on target, a pink translucent wash over John's duck costume and a victorious clanging followed by a shriek from the newly rinsed cow girl. Jennifer let loose a purple stream at John's duck costume tail. "That's for not covering for my vacation shifts last month." she grinned before hitting the target and rinsing away the feathers, molasses, and pink floss. That just left Rachel, who let loose a blast of blue slime right at John's lap, then his butt, then his face, giggling hysterically as her boyfriend squirmed, his costume changing colors yet again. Growing bored, she slapped a blast of blue at John's target chest and rinsed her outfit, wringing out her now soaked curls under her bonnet. A clang sounded and a passageway appeared in the corn further down the maze. John struggled to escape the slime covered duck costume. "Where's my shower?" he grumbled loudly. On queue a torrent of frigid water cascaded onto his costume, nearly knocking him to the ground. He stood in his once more clean sheep costume. "Thanks." he muttered through chattering teeth. "YOU'RE WELCOME" Bryce's voice crackled over a loudspeaker.

A loud fan roared above blowing warm air onto us as we proceeded down the path. At least cleaner and only slightly damp, we continued our journey. Ahead was what appeared to be another dead end with a massive empty pie crust the size of a paddling pool with a pipe overhead and cans of squirty cream on a nearby shelf. A sign beside the pie crust read "Make a pumpkin pie if you want to pass by." On closer inspection, the pie tin appeared to be resting on a large farm scale. Jennifer giggled and stepped into the middle of the pie tin. "I love pumpkin pie!" she grinned. a rope leading up to the pipe above her dangled in the center of the pie tin, just within her reach. She shrugged, "Here goes nothing." and gave the rope a sharp tug. With a loud gurgling sound the pipe erupted with thick, sticky brownish orange pumpkin pie filling, splattering the sexy nurse and all of us mesmerized by the comical sight. I grabbed one of the spray cans and began spraying it onto Jennifer's now orange head. "Hey!" she objected with a giggle. The others followed. Soon there was about as much whipped cream on each other as there was on Jennifer. A light turned on and the corn rows parted behind the pumpkin pie. The loudspeaker crackled to life again, this time with Jill's voice. "The whipped cream doesn't do anything, I just wanted to see if you'd use it." she laughed. After some choice words, we stepped past the pie into the dark path once more.

A short section of the maze was brightly lit and featured heaters, some snacks, and a shower stall emitting a mist of warm water. They eyed it suspiciously, but with little left to lose, one by one they rinsed themselves off. On a low table next to the enclosure was a stack of warm fluffy towels, providing the group with was ultimately a welcome break, and soon their costumes were, while still damp, at least once again visible. As the last of them cleaned off, they set off down the maze again until the next dead end appeared. "Where do you think the prize is hidden for the car?" Stacy wondered aloud. "Ahh yes, I'd forgotten about that." Rachel mused.

In the dead end there was a bakery rack laden with silver bowls and piping bags overfilled with colorful frosting. Along the impenetrable wall of corn opposite the entrance was a computer screen and camera. The screen showed the text "LEAST COLORFUL TO MOST COLORFUL" Stacy stepped up to the screen to search for a clue. As she came into the camera's view, a bar graph with a percentage displayed. 38%. Puzzled, she tugged me over my my leash. My white costume with the ruffled collar and giant bib with the red heart scored a 14%. Stacy snapped her fingers and grabbed Aimee. Her pink maid's outfit rated an 66.6%. She curtseyed to the computer and elegantly swept aside. Rachel and John stepped up nervously. John's sheep costume scored 21%. "Of course, it's cream, not white." Stacy observed. Stacy was always good with colors. "Rachel, how about you? The sexy Bo Peep with her frilly pink petticoat and polkadot corset and bonnet stepped forward nervously. "18%" she breathed a sigh of relief while I began to get nervous. Not looking good for the white rabbit today.

Jennifer took her position, her shiny white latex costume with the prominently placed red cross was going to be a close one. Fortunately for her she'd gone with bright red thigh-highs instead of white. "16%! Read it and weep, Bunny-Boy!" she smirked.

"But whose costume is the least colorful?" Aimee asked, concerned. All eyes turned towards the sexy black and white cow costumed girl. Chandni's eyes went wide and she shook her head. "No, my costume is adorably black and white! I even have this shiny brass cowbell!" She tinkled the bell as if to emphasize her point. "I have this little cow ear headband and everything." she pouted. The revelers shrugged and positioned her in front of the camera and computer screen. "8%?!" Chandni grumbled. "This is so unfair to cows."

Stacy gave Chandni a sympathetic look, then selected one of the bowls from the rack. Taking an oversized spatula of bright yellow frosting, she slapped it against her cow-print bustier. The percentage on the screen climbed. "Alright, it looks like we just have to beat Aimee's 66.6%. Let's get started everyone."

Chandni gave a final pout, then held out her arms. "Alright, let's get it over with." she muttered. Six pairs of arms began delicately decorating the blushing cow girl, but soon the giggles had erupted again and the task devolved into a somewhat unfair food fight. The cow costume soon vanished under the sticky assault of cake frosting, bowls of colorful icing and pie filling, and fondant. The percentage climbed, but seemed frozen at 62%. Taking the last bowl of purple frosting, Stacy ordered Chandni to bend over at the camera, exposing her frilly cow print boy shorts. Stacy slapped the purple icing thickly over her butt cheeks, obliterating the remaining black and white. The percentage displayed 68% and a hidden door released with a hiss, revealing another passageway. "Nice work, Chandni! Miss Stacy, I see you have a bit of a dominant streak as well, no?" Aimee grinned knowingly. Stacy smirked and gave a flirty little bow.

Lights revealed a colorful ball pit in the next clearing. Rachel giggled excitedly and leapt playfully into the center of the shiny colorful balls. She vanished beneath the surface, emerging as a thick, sticky pink blob. John jumped in after her as frantically she clawed away the goop from her mouth and eyes and gasped for breath. "Eew!" she squeaked. John helped her steady herself and cleared the pink goo from his own face and looked around. He pointed to a sign on the opposite side of the pit. "Gum Ball Pit." he read, unnecessarily.

"Ugh!!! What takes gum out of hair?" Wailed Rachel, clearly miserable as she tried to drag her fingers through her completely matted locks. John was already across to the next pit. "Um, I've always heard peanut butter." John observed.

"Where am I going to find enough peanut butter to clean off ten gallons of gum?!" Rachel whined.

"You're not gonna like this." John warned. "But..." his voice trailed off as he gestured to the next pit. What looked like light brown soil was instead a morass of thick peanut butter. "At least you get a choice." John tried to encourage his girlfriend.

"What choice?" snapped Rachel.

John pointed to the signs pointing to a matching but slightly lumpier looking pit. "Creamy of Chunk Style." Rachel flung a handful of the warm, sticky gum at John's face, connecting with his cheek with a sticky splat.

The still unsticky members of the party carefully stepped into the pit of gumballs, trying carefully not to sink. the pit was only knee deep on the edges and they picked their way across. I followed to the right of Stacy, helping her out of the pit, my own waist still deep in the pink sticky gum. "Thank you!" she purred. In return she turned and put her gum coated foot squarely in the center of my chest and pushed. With no leverage, I flopped comically as if in slow motion backwards into the thick gum with a splat, completely vanishing beneath the gooey surface. By the time they reached the peanut butter pits, Rachel and John were coating each other in gobs of peanut butter and moaning softly, seemingly forgetting the original plan of removing the gum in favor of a new, way better plan. Soon we are all laughing, smearing the sticky gum and peanut butter into our costumes and hair, and generally being insanely excited. Soon blasts from the pie cannon brought us back to sticky reality, blue and green frosting blasts splattering across our destroyed costumes. "Hey! You're still on camera here." scolded Bryce. We reluctantly pulled ourselves back up and down the path again.

The messy, gooey and still very aroused costumed revelers stepped cautiously into a familiar clearing. In the center was the wooden stairs that led to the tall bridge from last year. What was utterly unfamiliar, and somewhat impossible to wrap their heads around, was that instead of the trail that crossed beneath it from last year, sat an enormous cake. Not just enormous, it was roughly the footprint of a bouncy house, although only around four feet tall, still far too tall for a pastry to be sitting in the center of a cornfield in the middle of a foggy night. The white frosting with orange and black icing piped along the top edges looked flawless. The familiar loud speaker crackled to life. Jill's voice purred in her fake French accent, "I hope you are enjoying my desserts." Aimee muttered again, "I still think she is not French." The voice continued, "Remember, one of you needs to find the keys to win the car. I wonder where they could be? I bet a new car would be icing on zee cake." she giggled. In an instant, Aimee, Stacy, and John jumped from the bridge landing with a soft splat into the middle of the cake while Rachel, Chandni, and Jennifer had sprinted down the stairs, plunging their arms into the thick frosting, pulling apart the thick, sticky cake filled with jam, digging like gophers into the massive dessert. I took my time drinking in the sight, grinning from ear to ear as my girlfriend and her gorgeous friends tore frantically through the pastry in search of the prize. I walked carefully around the entire base of the cake, dodging the flung icing as best I could looking for any sort of clue. Beside the far corner of the cake was a plastic pipe. Sitting at the entrance to the pipe was a small plush skunk. My heart sank. Gingerly I inspected the toy. This was definitely different from the booby trapped plush that had set me down the path to spending weeks glued into a bunny suit with a tattooed bunny muzzle and reeking of skunk spray. It was smaller, more cartoon like. I picked it up. Attached to its tail was a cheap headlamp.

I pulled it over my forehead and turned it on, illuminating the plastic pipe. It looked wide enough to get my shoulders through, but I couldn't see past the first bend. I shrugged, and shimmied inside. The bottom of the pipe was filled with something shiny, I sniffed my sticky mitten. Caramel. At least that was a sign it wasn't one of Jodi's traps from last year. I crawled further. The caramel was soon joined by thick marshmallow cream, coated all around the sides of the pipe. Jill and Bryce must have had a bit of fun of their own filling this bit of the maze. I pushed forward through the mass as long tendrils of marshmallow, the little LED headlamp bravely resisting the goo's attempts to extinguish it. I could see a light at the end of my proverbial tunnel and pressed on. By now the pipe was feeling claustrophobic, but by focusing on the light ahead I kept on. Soon the marshmallow gave way to thick strawberry jam. It was thinner, but much more difficult to gain sufficient traction to move forward. Still, the pipe seemed to have a tilt downward which helped. Only a few meters left now. The pipe was filled with thick hot fudge now. The smell was heavenly. Definitely an improvement over last year. Relieved, I poked my head out the end of the pipe to inspect the exit. Sure enough, the area about two meters below the pipe appeared to be a pool of thick white goo. The pipe was far too narrow to turn around, and it was a long, very messy backwards crawl to the cake. I took a deep breath, put my mittens against the edge of the pipe, and launched myself towards the mess.

Except, I didn't hit the mess. My arms which had been positioned above my head to break my fall were instead wrapped tightly in a thin net. The rest of me was too, my knees tightly wedged together, wrapped like a spider. My eyes adjusted to the light. I was dangling upside down in the type of netting they use to wrap Christmas trees. Bryce and Jill were standing there in costume, slowly clapping. Upside down to me anyway, was a shiny new sports car with an orange and black bow. The loudspeaker sounded again, "Congratulations everyone! Our White Rabbit has won a new car!" Bryce pressed a button and the final wall of corn dropped away revealing a now destroyed giant cake and six very confused looking adventurers. They clawed the cake frosting from their eyes and circled the shiny car, and its new owner, still swaying lightly upside down and coated in mess. The crowd surrounded me, hands on hips. Jill wheeled a cart loaded with pies, cakes and mounds of cotton candy. "Your bunny just won your car. Care to show him how that makes you feel?" The revelers broke into grins and lunged for the desserts, very thoroughly splattering them everywhere they could reach.

After the last of the pastries were gone, Stacy asked Bryce to lower me down. The two of them managed to cut the netting at my feet, gently guiding me until I was horizontal to the sticky white cream filled pit. They then let me drop with a splat in the goo. More marshmallow cream. They fished me out and Stacy gave me an extremely sticky kiss before snipping away the netting with a pair of medical shears borrowed from Jennifer. "A nurse is always prepared." she grinned. "I thought that was boy scouts?" Aimee said. As we all thanked our hosts, "I'm not sure how you're gonna top this next year." I wondered.

Jill giggled, "We have a full year of new ideas we'll be testing out." she winked at Bryce. Stacy and Rachel approached our hosts from behind, then slapped a pair of thick banana cream pies into their faces with a twist. "See you next year!" they giggled.