Reviews
Written by actual UMD customers
4164 reviews
"Incredible Video!
One of the hottest videos that I've ever watched. Would love to see more of these race to orgasming videos!

wafflemanbo   12/24/24
"Silly and Sexy
Love this series. Super fun set-up and really hot guy! The wheel is a nice touch and he takes the mess well.

gguy254   12/23/24
"The express is on a roll.
This episode was just as good as the first two, the blue team finally wins, and gets a messy victory. Lots of pies and slime was put to good use in all the challenges.

Mudicon20   12/22/24
"Three awesome slimes on one amazing girl
I really enjoy how pie oneer had a fun time getting slimed in this scene. The green slime had more coverage and she kept that fun smile as it was happening to her.

Mudicon20   12/22/24
"The Jewel of the Americas
Punters!

You know when your in love when it happens, someone once said. Sage advice. Our very own "Jewel of the Americas" Bratty Shortcakes in a prompt, but timely excursion into the world of waking up. Two things worth pointing out before we start:

1. They told me it was a short one at just over four minutes. Believe you me you'll be cooked before you even get two minutes into the action.

2. Bratty wears very little makeup and still impresses right down to the very last drop. Any lady who looks just as great without makeup is a Goddess in my book. Swiftly to the action: We start off seeing 'ol sleepy head wake to a shower of cum from her very lucky partner. We know little about this man apart from his hands and excellent camera work. The way she rubs this all into her face and hair will have you done in seconds. Next, she fully wakes to fine three huge cream pies which are in bed with her. How did that happen? But you'll be glad it did! For most of us guys it usually take-away cartons!

These pies are liberally spread and rubbed over her modest, but shapely breasts covering her pretty camisole top which fits like a dream. She then slicks her raven locks with a good morning smile. There's a bonus self pieing on the backside and the sliky red panties are toast. Marmalade on mine please dear

But what's a girl to do? Personal hygiene, that's what. Knowing she risks smelling of stale dairy products for the rest of the day, she heads off to the shower and slicks and rubs all the creamy goodness from her hair and undies. If you can get past Bratty showering in a wet camisole without exploding then you have mashed potato for nuts.

So in summary. It is a compact little number, but Bratty shows excellent form, style and grace. She really is a class act!

We score it 234 out of 10.

Auntie Liz   12/20/24
"Goddess Alana, Sensual and Sublime!
As a huge fan of all of Alana's swimming pool projects, ever since forever, I pounced on this video the second I saw it was available. Sexy Wet Babes' "After Pool Party" blew me away! It reminds me of some of my favorite of Alana's early pool videos from back in the day and here's why: Alana's handheld solo projects have an intimacy about them that really makes it feel like you're with her in the pool, swimming around underwater, seeing her come up with her hair all slicked back, her wide-mouth gasping is astoundingly sexy. You lose yourself in her beautiful dark eyes and her long, raven hair, sleek and shiny. She's such a dreamgirl. Here's something else to think about: Alana created Sexy Wet Babes, and it's clear that she understands what underwater fetish content is about. It's not just drowning fantasies, etc." but an entire realm of these softer, more sensual provocations: Watching beautiful Alana on her back gasping at the surface of the water as her hair fans out around her, seeing her take a breath and submerge, blowing bubbles out of her nose while you're caught in the intensity of her gaze seeing her come up again, wide-mouth gasping as she looks you right in the eye It's arresting, and really, really, Really Hot! One of the things I particularly respond to in Alana's handheld videos is that it almost always feels like you're less than arm's length away from her. You can practically feel her pressed up against you and that is exciting as hell. It's so sexy and sensual and--Oh my God--Buy This Video Right Now! (This review is unsolicited, btw. I was not compensated in any way. I'm all about Sexy Wet Babes. Swb and Wet Look Fashion are my two favorite producers on Umd.net. I'm genuinely wild about this stuff.)

MrBubblicious   12/19/24
"Cutie Pie Nipple Party! I Love It!
I had been meaning to buy Sexy Wet Babes' "Alice Fri-nally Underwater," ever since forever. Alice is beautiful to watch in the water. She has a strikingly pretty, youthful look, a bit like Jenna Ortega/Wednesday Addams, like someone you'd see out in the world who would stop you in your tracks: a cashier, a waitress, or some adorable vegan baker on Instagram You become enchanted by her in this split-second encounter and your mind takes her to a place with a pool, in the sun This video brings her exactly where you'd want to take her, in your fantasy. "Alice Fri-nally Underwater" is exactly what you want it to be, based on the description. I knew from the description to expect to see her nips peeking through her white T-shirt, and this video really places that front-and-center--not to mention her continual lifting of her shirt. Ta-Da! "Fri-nally Underwater" is a full-on celebration of Alice's nipples, actually, and I'm ecstatic about it! Plus, you get bonus content in this video, seeing Alana with Alice, shooting the video in a behind-the-scenes type of way, seeing both the footage Alana shot as well as footage of her shooting it. I'm a former film-school guy myself, and I love seeing the passion, joy, and creativity that goes into these projects as a celebration of people who actually understand what aquaphilia is about. It's not just about drowning fantasies, etc." but there's this whole other realm of softer, more sensual provocation--and I'm here for it! I stan! I'm a full-on stan-fan, man! I love this stuff. (This review is unsolicited, btw. I was not compensated for this review. I'm all about Sexy Wet Babes. Swb and Wet Look Fashion are my two favorite producers on Umd.net. I'm genuinely wild about this stuff.)

MrBubblicious   12/19/24
"Stunning video, with loads going on.
Very playful video in which Sooty is explaining how she prepares the perfect pie, when she is rudely gunged, with very thick green sludge. I love that she's wearing glasses and it looks great glooping all over her wincing face as she struggles to continue presenting under the slime. She comically sits there and lets the slop fall in large dollops. More gungings follow and she also makes use of the pie, but then we. see her knelt over a bucket full of second-hand mess. She proceeds to give us some very thick head-dunkings! And finally, she gets a bucket poured directly onto her face!

A very good value-for-money video--some of the gungings were filmed from multiple angles, but instead of cutting between the two angles, the video has been edited in such a way where you have to watch the same gunging again from the second angle. I think cutting between the two angles would have made the video more exciting and kept the flow going nicely, definitely try this in future if you're shooting with multiple cameras.

MistaOveralls   12/19/24
"Like sitting underneath an oil change
Sooty is dressed very cleanly for this scene which begins with the tank drizzling black sludge onto her which looks a lot like used motor oil (I'm sure it wasn't!) this is a slow, drawn outgunging through which Sooty is largely staying very still. She is hit with a pie, made from real cream, custard and pie-base, which slops down her face as she waits for more gunge to follow it--what comes next is a much thicker and gloopier version of the first substance, but then it gradually gets runnier. Next she is sat there with a pie in each hand, and pie-sandwiches herself with a satisfying "wumpfff"--it looks like shaving foam cream, so it's really glorious and funny. She looks like she's been covered in thick marshmallow. and just when the pie bases fall off her face, more thick black gloop comes to rinse of all the foamy mess. The last moments of the video are of her covered in a grey mixture of the black and white gunge. She gathers up the mess she's sat in, including the pie-bases and mushes them all over her head.

MistaOveralls   12/19/24
"Fun outfit, loads of mess
Sooty is wearing a sexy spandex skeleton-print jumpsuit and her hair is in cute bunches--she looks really happy and ready for a messy session. This video features plenty of long drawn out gungings--covering every inch of her smooth gunge (not sure what products are used). As the gungings continue the box she's squeezed herself into is filling and she removes her boots and plays around in the mess, figuring out other ways to enjoy the slime. With the exception of the opening seconds, its dialogue free, we can only hear outdoor ambience and squidgy sounds.

MistaOveralls   12/19/24
"Great value video! Such a pretty model.
This video features Sooty sitting through multiple gungings as she tests out her new tank. Generally the gunge is thick with some thicker than others, possibly because it's getting re-used between takes? What really hits you about this video is how pretty Sooty is and she seems to really enjoy getting gunged particularly straight onto the face--so she spends a lot of the video looking upward--my only criticism would be its not the most interesting of viewing angles. The video is shot against silence, you can hear every plop and splatter, but it's pretty much dialogue free apart from her saying "ready... " at one point and I would have loved to hear a little smalltalk. This is a really great value video though, you get a lot for your money.

MistaOveralls   12/19/24
"Gorgeously fluffy mess, one hell of a beauty!
The beautiful Bratty in one for the most erotically charged self-pieing I have seen in a long time. The stockings, the underwear, her cute face and lovely dark hair, all trashed with deep filled cream pies. The way she massages the goo all over herself is beautiful, especially when the bra comes off and the cream gets rubbed all over bare breasts. I especially like it when she is so coated in pie that a large blob drops between her legs and she wriggles her thighs in delight. Our Bratty is clearly as turned on as you'll be watching it. Worth ever penny in my book. I lasted about a quarter way into the session! Only minus, You do need to sort out the sound a bit, but that's it. Marry me Bratty, I love you!

Auntie Liz   12/18/24
"A wonderful experience and discovery!
Wonderful and really enjoyable messy playing! there are things to see, but this video was a real messy journey for me! for starters, a few pieces of cream pie and thick chocolate and other ingredients! the fact that there was a gag ball and self game added a lot, which made the video even more exciting! I am amazed and this video gave me a lot of motivation! I think I will do this too, to be richer with such a messy experience! it turned out to be a perfect and exciting video! thank you so much you wonderful messy lady!

FOAMSLAVE   12/17/24
"Paint n Play
Ms. Pie-oneer covers herself in different colored paints, dancing a bit throughout. She plays around with some UV lights in the video as well, making for a very cool, sensual effect, especially once she applies black paint. My favorite portion of the video is when she is covered head to toe in black paint and rubbing herself. It resembles a skin-tight bodysuit, and at one point while squatting she slips, falling on her butt, yet she continues to masturbate without missing a beat. A total transformation has overtaken her as she loses herself to the mess. Great scene!

WAMOptimist93   12/16/24
"Yeah, Portia! Getting Down to Business!
I'm thrilled to see that Portia is back. I don't know if you guys have ever tried to explain to your partner (or anyone else) what your attraction is to Wet Look and Underwater Fetish stuff--or if you've ever fantasized about trying some stuff out with someone who isn't immediately comfortable with it. There's a timidness, an unease, but also a trust and a willingness to give it a try because you like it so much That's how I feel watching Portia in these videos and that teeeny bit of apprehension she shows about getting her beautiful hair wet and about submerging is sexy-as-hell to me: pinching her nose before going under and then coming up dripping wet with her eyes squeezed shut. It's like a sensual baptism every time and I love how much of it we get in this video. Portia looks great drenched in her biz attire too, of course, especially as that white top clings to her torso. I hope to see more Portia in the future. I was not compensated in any way for this review, btw.

MrBubblicious   12/14/24
"Lovely, Lovely, Lovely Tina!
There is a moment early in this video, behind the waterfall, then under the waterfall, then coming up to the surface that is itself entirely worth the price of admission. The rest is gravy: a whole buffet of nose-pinching and Tina's sleek, wet hair cascading over her shoulders, plastered down on her perfect skin. God, I love this stuff. That's one of the things I love about a halter neckline: the bare shoulders, bare arms, the softness of her skin, creamy. There's another moment Iater in the video when Tina pinches her nose and flops on her back underwater, sprawled out, floating/suspended there in front of the viewer. She comes up and swims on her back, her wet jumpsuit clinging to her round breasts, shiny, gleaming in the sun--Then she pulls herself to an upright position, a perfect profile of her silky, raven hair, all slicked back. Wow. Gorgeous! This is my first Tina video. I'll be snatching up more of this Tina stuff immediately! I was not compensated in any way for this review, btw.

MrBubblicious   12/14/24
"Huge Fan of the Elegant, Beautiful Naomi!
I was a fan of Naomi the first time I saw her: Elegant, beautiful. There's something tranquil about her face, serene. Then, she's got this astoundingly perfect gym bod, particularly impressive when it's someone who already has those other qualities I look for first: warm, brown eyes, a beautiful face, cheekbones for days, a beautiful smile. I love seeing her smile in this one. A rare glimpse of her sweet, charming personality--and then she's got this powerhouse physique. She's gorgeous in the water, and lovely to see her perfect complexion gleaming in the sun. We've got some nose-pinching before submerging. That drives me Wild! I think that's sexy as hell, the teeeny bit of vulnerability that suggests and the rush of heroic fantasy that can spring from it. I like to imagine myself swooping her in and scooping her up in my arms, to be her hero, to be her Man. I love this. Gorgeous! I hope to see a bunch more Naomi in the future. I was not compensated in any way for this review, btw.

MrBubblicious   12/14/24
"Silly, Super messy, fun.
Fantastic! What an absolute trashing! I love the heaped foam pies and the line-style pieing, one right after the other over and over until she's turned into a mound of shaving foam. Great stuff.

mhop   12/13/24
"Nice introduction to Violet
So the setup is a quiz, but that doesn't really matter as it's just an excuse to cover the busty Violet in foamy pies and she takes them like a trooper. Both girls laugh throughout and it's infectious. I'd have loved if Violet pied Jade at the end but still a fun video.

xXx0074   12/13/24
"Orgasmic silver pleasure
It is hard to put into decent words what the sight of two nude women, covered head to toe in silver paint and moaning from orgasmic pleasure does to me...

The paint dripping from their faces and tits while they use the toys makes me wanna join them so much.

Jayce does know exactly what we want to see and what to film, the pics that came with the buy are awesome as well.

There is nothing to criticize, of course I always wish it was longer!

I can only hope we will see more of this in the future.

Thank you Brooklyn and Lia and Jayce!

Dodger   12/12/24
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