Hi y'all! I've been asked to give a presentation on sploshing as part of 7 Days of Domination, a virtual kinky night school and sex education series. I've reached out to a few individual members of the community with questions, and thought it'd be helpful to reach out to the UMD community as a whole with a few questions as well. If you'd like to answer one, or all of these questions it would be very much appreciated! And you are more than welcome to DM me with your answers instead of posting them publicly if you're more comfortable with that.

1. What information do you feel is useful/important to share with a first time wammer/someone who is unfamiliar with the fetish?

2. I would love to know more about how/why you initially got into sploshing. What was your first sploshing experience like? What was your first sploshing experience with a partner like? Do you prefer sploshing alone or with a partner?

3. Have you had a difficult time sharing this fetish with your partners? Or, have they been responsive/open to exploring the fetish with you?

4. I'm particularly interested in diving into more research on the psychology behind the fetish of sploshing. If you have any insight into this, or could provide me with any leads as far as research/articles/related reading go, I would greatly appreciate it!

5. I'm also compiling a list of notable sploshing scenes found in mainstream TV/movies/media. Do any scenes come to mind? ([references to children's shows (not just mainstream) removed; We can't compile a list of such items here -MM] are already generally on the list, but any specific scenes that you find to be most memorable and would like to share from these shows are also welcome)

I thought I'd provide a link to access my presentation if anyone would like to check it out. You can also find more information about the web series on the 7 Days of Domination website. I'll be giving my presentation during "Fluids Week" along with many other amazing fetishists/educators that will be offering a variety of classes in the realm of all things fluids! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'm looking so forward to reading everyone's responses <3

https://lolajean.com/7-days-of-domination?via=darla

Thank you all,
Darla

1. Holding space for someone to explore something that involves mess

2.Got into mess by walking home from school in rain storms and painting myself in line at a discount store

3. Some aspect of wam has been in all of my close relationships especially using water

4. Alright here are some links to articles
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eOtwJL4iV8s
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/travel/food-art-cultural-travel-180961648/

[Edited to remove video full of minors- Admin]

1 - Keep calm and speak slowly, making the person comfortable and then showing some pics, videos.

2 - I always liked to watch the brazilian gameshows and see girls get pied. Obviously at 13 I didn't have a fetish and I never imagined that there could be a fetish.
My first experience was on 13, with chocolate mousse pie in a paper plate. I never found a partner to do it, the closest I ever got was when I had a friend, she lost a bet(i lost 3 times first ) to me and had to pie herself but she lived in another city in Brazil, it was an online thing. Is hard to find a partner or a friend who wants get pied.

3 - Yes, I only talk about my pie fetish if I'm intimate and comfortable enough with the person and when I know she is open-minded. Sometimes I like to speak indirectly, I say that I've had pie in the face just to see the reaction. With my first girlfriend, it took me more than 2 months to say about the fetish. She even found it interesting but we didn't get to do it.

4 - I don't have any answer for it

5 - Brazilian gameshows like ''Passa ou Repassa" from the 90's,"Interligado Games", "Pergunta Torta", "Chega Mais", scenes from a soap opera called "Chocolate com Pimenta"

1. When I explain this fetish to someone, I always say "nothing a good bath, shampoo and soap can't fix!"

2. Here in Brazil in the 90's there was a tv show called Passa ou Repassa with a lot of pie in the face and other kind of mess and I loved watching it and dreamed of being there. There's also a birthday tradition here of throwing eggs with flour on the birthday person after school, it's called ovada. Unfortunelly my birthday is during school hollidays and that never happend untill the day I was home alone and cracked some eggs in my head. I usually play alone, but I prefer with a partner.

3. In the beginning yes but now I always try to tell this fetish to my partners and they usually like it.

Please when replying do not post links to clips containing or aimed at minors, thanks

In answer to the first question, I think it's important to mention the variety of of what people are into within WAM and how different people approach it. I've seen people setting themselves up as experts and saying that sploshing/WAM "is" this or that when what they are saying simply isn't the case for many people.

Eg some people like the humiliation aspect and like to put WAM in a power exchange setting, some prefer a more playful approach (perhaps with an element of trepidation etc.), some are very much into textures/sensations, some are focussed on coverage. So there are are a large range of dynamics within what could be considered a single kink.

Sounds like a really interesting project. Hopefully my answers below help a little:

1). I agree with Polysimon above. I put this in the context of someone who is about to be on the receiving end for the first time.

- While it may not be a sexual experience for them it certainly is for some people (me included).
- If you cannot breathe then look down and open your mouth and breathe in like that
- Safe words if appropriate (I like traffic light system)
- I find it helps non-wammers to approach a session with a sense of humour/playfulness. Deliberately letting go and doing something crazy.

2). Grew up in the UK in the early 90's. Watching certain shows back then I would always intensely hope that the prettiest female contestant got the mess, I would loose interest immediately if a dude ended up getting messy.

I can only enjoy it with a partner. My first experience was really awkward. I was obsessed with not fucking up the hotel room and it really showed. My partner got a 10/10 for effort but she clearly didn't enjoy the experience.

3). Quite difficult, it usually takes me quite a while before I am willing to discuss the weirder things that I am into.

I don't quite know how to put this but I think WAM has a sort of shock factor to it as it isn't a mainstream fetish. If you told someone you were into spanking (as I have a few times) you get a much more accepting and favourable response, with WAM its more like confusion/discomfort, some people struggle to understand that it can be sexual.

The idea above sort of plays into my answer for 4.

4). This must surely be different for everyone so I can only offer my personal reasons.

For me I love the power play present in certain WAM scenes such as a genuine competition/gameshow. Opponents start of equal but as one starts winning you can feel the power creeping away from the loser towards the winner. Eventually there is the moment when the losers fate is sealed. The winner gets to enjoy the relief of avoiding the mess and the satisfaction of delivering it to their opponent, therefore taking on the dominant role. The opponent gets the exact opposite of this and is taking on the submissive role. This gets me going before even a single drop of mess is applied to anyone. For me "mild humiliation" is the sweet spot. Bonus points if there is some kind of pre-existing connection between the models.

I guess in the above scenario the mess is just a tool for punishing the loser and could be replaced with say a paddle if a person was into spanking instead of WAM. However if I build on my point for question 3 I would say (from personal experience only) that a person who is getting spanked is probably (at least slightly) into getting spanked and so it isn't really a punishment. With WAM the person getting gunged is probably not into it sexually and is actually suffering a genuine forfeit. This distinction makes WAM genuinely satisfying for me. An actual punishment that yields "mild humiliation" requires a real act of submission.

I would be amazed if there was one unifying theory to all of this lol.

5). You already have my favourite mainstream shows in your list. I would like to highlight a few clips in particular though:

Edwina Currie - NHP gunging. She was a prominent politician at the time and so that was particularly juicy

Live and Kicking - Various host gungings. Again, its all about that power play and seeing the power slip away from the the regular holders, Sarah Cawood in particular. Same thing happened with the hosts from GYOB, Mad for it, MOM and NHP.

To answer questions 3 and 4:
I've never had much difficulty sharing my fetish. I've worked very hard to live a life free from sexual shame (as long as all activities are safe, sane, and consensual). To be fair, all of my partners have been sex workers; so they're generally pretty open-minded. But even with a "normal" partner, I would have no trouble telling her about it once we're comfortable enough with each other. Yeah, there's always a chance she could reject me, but this fetish is the centerpiece of my sex life, and life is too short for me to hide my fantasies for someone who isn't interested in being a part of them.
As for the psychology of the fetish, I imagine that's vastly different for every individual. For such a niche fetish, WAM seems to include a very large variety of interests and sub-fetishes.
For me however, my attraction to it comes from the transgressive thrill. Not for me, actually, but for my partner. The reason I love seeing women getting wet and messy and ruing their good clothes is because, to me at least, that seems like just about the naughtiest, most unladylike thing a young woman could possibly do. Particularly if they are getting sexual pleasure out of it. And after all, in a society that (either implicitly or explicitly) says that women should be clean and well-behaved, what could provide more of a sexual rush than openly flaunting those societal rules? Especially if it's in conjunction with casual sex. (Another thing our society unfortunately frowns upon women enjoying) And after a good wet or messy session, a gentle spanking/flogging/whipping is the perfect way to drive home to her what a naughty girl she's been!

Thank you all so much for your answers so far!! They've been so incredibly helpful. I plan to get back to each one personally when I have more time on my hands.. for now, I just wanted to share my thanks

Hi darla. I have a few things i would like to share reguarding your questions.

For first time sploshers I would recommend explaining the... i guess you could call them technical qualities of the fetish. Make it sound fun and try to highlight all the sides that are positive about it. If the person is familiar with fetishes already, just not this one, you might want to go over things like how versatile it is. You can easily mix and match sploshing with most fetishes to really add an interesting and exciting new aspect to something that they might already be familiar with... like... bondage for example.... or sensory deprivation is another good one.

I watched a demonstration video on a relatively well known fetish site going over the ins and outs, and how sploshing can be EITHER fun and plesant and sensual and just a pleasurable experience, OR it can be utilized in a more humiliation/punishment/pain oriented scene.

Textures textures textures! One of the key highlights to someone who is new to the fetish is that everything you use has a wide variety of different feelings, textures, and sensations that can be applied for a plethera of different experiences... peanutbutter is smoothe and glides over the skin and is silky and sensual. Syrups like chocolate are more liquidy and drizzley, but the feeling and texture changes if you were to completely drench someone.

Thicker heavier items like Honey also can have different textures depending on how it's used... if you use a little bit... when you spread it around it clings to the skin and pulls, but not to where it's painful, but its definitely very different than something that is slimey like syrup. And when you add a lot of honey, it becomes more maliable and pulls less. (Also be careful because honey BURNS if it gets in your eyes... thats something i didnt really think about and had to learn the hard way)

The second key thing for me, is the visuals. The visual of someone completely engulfed in thick sticky mess is a big thing. Going back to things like honey and other translucent substances, it's very fascinating how some of the substances will highlight and compliment a body's curvs and features and lets not forget about that shiney glossy effect it gives. Or if someone were burried under a mountain of peanutbutter, the way it looks to be fully immersed.

2. I had a sploshing fetish before i realized what a fetish or what sploshing even was. I grew up in the 90s when there were tons of shows of people getting messy. I guess it just slowly evolved over time.

I actually for a long time thought I was the weirdest person for liking something so different.

I was embarrassed and was so scared of someone finding out that I'm a perverted weirdo who likes getting messy, and I did not tell a single soul about my closet fetish for many years actually.

Today... I am definitely a perverted weirdo eho likes getting messy, except now ive accepted that fact and revel in it as a positive thing, not a negative one that i should be ashamed of.

As far as psychological aspects go... It might not be what you are looking for, but there are lots of fun ways to make a scene more psychological. One, just the premise of getting messy with who knows what can be a little intense. You can actually utilize sploshing and have some fun with your partner if they are someone who enjoys having their psyche messed with. For example... in a bondage scene, you could start off with a sweet but condescending demeanor... explain to them in explicit detail what you are going to do to them... as you explain how youre going to get them all messy with things, keep a dominant presence and keep the mood ambiguous and lead them into a sense of uncertainty, lightly touch their skin and caress them to simulate to them mentally the image of them being covered in something sticky and slimey. Tease them a little with little phrases here or there like "This is going to be soooo much fun... for me" you can really get into someones head with the right touch. And depending on your partner because I (as most people who are into fetishes should be) take R.A.C.K very seriously, this could be a very fun way to get creative with it.

But on the other hand... for me, theres something inharently liberating in the idea of, doing something that you're always told not to do. I'm sure most people have been told "dont get dirty, don't make a mess, hey dont get muddy" so being able to say "I AM going to do this, because thats what I want to do, and I like it" theres alot of exhilaration in that sortof societal rebellion.

Also... there is a little bit of a wild appeal/aspect for those who are into the whole primal play. You see. sex is generally considered to be "dirty" when you get down to it and really think about it, it's messy, its a little gross... so what better way to express yourself than to indulge in that idea and... let go of inhibitions and let that inner wild feral instinct by fooling around in the mud? Because similar to how sex is natural, yet dirty, so is mud. It just makes sense that they go together when you think about it like that.

Another interesting idea that has worked for me is... if you're on the fence about it, you could always try doing a "practice" scene through text based roleplaying. This way, you can act out a scene, and get into the mindset of how it works without actually having to get messy/dirty right away.


I hope my input was helpful. I'm really interested in hearing how your presentation goes!

For and not any particular order for reply Sorry

Was the Goodies a TV in the 70's British comiedy show run not long after primary school - the scene I remember the most was Billy (Odie) hitting Grame (Gardener) and Tim (Brook Taylor) with pies - the 2 nd scene was this with Grame sitting at a table opposite Tim and Bill severing them both. Bill then pasted Grame what ever he wanted and with the dish - tipped this over Grame's head.

I then was in my teen years and had a hose fight with a girl freind at the time after school one day as the temperature was in the high 30's C over 90F and this started the whole thing for me.

Good question. I'm going to become the next Tilt Longtail, become the next Swampy T. Fox, become the next Norfolk Fox, become the next Jouva Moffett & become the next Kwisa the fox. I've seen it all. The videos & photos & everything.

I Sandy Shepherd AKA Mr. Soon-To-Be Furry Convention Goer, will witness the history in the making.

On mother's day weekend, the tradition of all the furries getting very super sloppy with slime, gunge, mud, pies & water of the past: Jouva, Tilt Longtail, Gale Frostbane, Swampy T. Fox, Duino Duck, King Gourd, Blooski, Scurrow, Norfolk Fox & the others will be passing the torch or better yet passing the buckets of slime. I can't wait.

If I get my parents permission to have the post furry convention party at my house & if they say ok, then I'll have (THE REAL) Furry Weekend Atlanta after party at my house and in-person.

But Gale, strobes, duino & the others will be invited also & they'll say they'll come over to my house for a furry meet up at my house on one condition.

But if this year's FWA is cancelled, then the deal's off.

Whatever but anyway, I'll be keeping everyone including for those who are a fursuiter getting very super sloppy with shaving cream, mud, quicksand, gunge, slime, pies & water.
And for those who don't.
Updated when my fox costume set I've ordered from Amazon arrives.

And thanks for asking a question.

Apologies in advance for length. My A.D.H.D. loves to keep digressing at the best of times and dyspraxia means I struggle to communicate complex ideas in succinct elegant manners. I mean I've written a more reader friendly "5 Things I Love About Sploshing And 1 thing I hate about it" article intended to give a relatively brief overview of sploshing for curious newcomers for a particular project I'm working on but have spent the better part of a month keep coming back to it to hack words out of it. Whilst it might have been helpful for question 1, still not ready for publishing and unlikely to be before the scheduled talk.

But anyway whilst I apologise for length I hope there are some insights here that prove helpful for your purposes.


That's a difficult one as it really depends on who is asking. WAM and Sploshing is a much bigger array of practices than most people first imagine, whilst you've got sploshers dedicated to a particular type of mess (wetlook, mudlarking and general mess which can also often break down further into pies, slime, food and paint) broken down into subcommunities (essentially Sploshings version of BDSM's Leather, Latex, PVC etc followings). There's a whole bunch of different practices from shampooing, underwear or shoe filling, pie & food fights, mudlarking, gunge & dunk tanks etc.

If someone was new to BDSM most people would recommend them taking the BDSM Test (which whilst far from perfect) to get an idea of the sort of thing they might be interested in and what to start exploring first. Sploshing/WAM doesn't really have a BDSM Test equivalent (given my backgrounds on psychology and computer science and my prior research I should probably think about having a go to create such quiz/test once I've sorted everything else I'm juggling right now) that I try to listen to what they think they are looking for and what other kinky play they enjoy outside of sploshing to get an idea of what they like to be able to make the best possible recommendations for them to try. For instance if they're a Bratty type then I reckon they'll enjoy the anarchic pie/food fight type scenes, if they're a Primal then mudlarking/wrestling may be a good entry point etc.

Apart from recommending a scene to try, general safety regarding that scene suggestion (for instance if recommending mud play then discuss safety of finding somewhere hygienic to play without agriculture overspill or for pie/food fight about taking care walking on slippery floors) and ways to try make clean up less hassle I would try keep information shared in the beginning to a minimum. People can only take in so much information in one go, there is no way you can cover everything about Sploshing so best focus on something they are likely to be excited about trying that they have a good chance of enjoying and how they can do it safely.

Unfortunately too many people in the community attempt to try persuade newbies that the best way to splosh is to do their very specific type of scene they enjoy (it seems "One Twue Way" is not a phenomena found only in BDSM) which does nothing to help the newbie find what they might enjoy, only potentially manipulate them into being a fetish dispenser. Now some of the most selfish people like this may not care if newbies don't like what they do so it is no skin off their nose of they alienate someone that doesn't like their specific interests but is people like them, with differing interests that will alienate and scare off any potential partner that enjoys what they enjoy.

But anyway I digress, I try to work out what the newcomer might be looking for/might like by listening to them and then trying to use what I already know to recommend a great place for them to start it might not be the sort of WAM I enjoy most but it also feels nice/good being able to help people find something they might enjoy. At least I that's what I think.

This shouldn't really be all that revolutionary communication and listening are often cited as being key skills to being a Good, Game and Giving partner and so being able to listen to what a partner enjoys to be able to find an introductory scene they will enjoy to find a mutual page on which to communicate understanding would be recommended to anyone wishing to introduce a partner to it. And advising people that aren't prospective partners is a great way for people to exercise those skills ahead of a time that it matters.


I already overshare way too much on the subject of my kinks and other things. Gotta keep some things private for only those closest to me to know and this is one of them.


With a partner. The emotionally side of sploshing has always been the most important part of sploshing for me. I'm looking to have fun with, and emotionally connect with my partner. This can take many forms from the suspense of finding out which of us is getting gunged in a game, the liberation from social expectations and emotional connection of rolling around together in the mess together, the mild humiliation as they gunge you or the delicious deviousness of the anticipation you keep them in whilst teasing whether you are about to pour it on them, the helplessness of sitting dangling above a dunk tank, the power of holding the gunge tank chain that'll release the mess on your partner, the humour and anarchy of a slapstick style food/pie fight to the pleasant or disgusted reactions to the mess itself.

To underline the importance for the emotional side of sploshing to me whilst I have absolutely zero interest in sploshing myself solo I'm prioritise the sort of playfulness and emotional adventure/connection in other kinky areas I pursue hence my gamified take on kink and BDSM and having an affinity with certain playful brat types.

Because of the emotional connection element to it, it is also something I probably wouldn't ever seek out a professional to do a session with either. Just to be clear I don't have any issues with anyone in the adult industry, I mean I once did semi-professional videos myself and if I was ever in a relationship with anyone in the industry assuming they enjoyed it and were safe I'd be glad they enjoyed their work. With the emotional connection element of sploshing for me it isn't something I would want to pursue one sided with someone in a financial arrangement.


I won't go into details for as a general rule anything of an adult nature I do with anyone I consider to be private unless they explicitly grant permission for me to divulge anything about it (absolute confidentiality is important if you want people to trust that they can share or do their deepest and darkest fantasies with you).

But non-specifically my first sploshing experience with a partner was disappointing. I may as well have been sploshing with a statue. Absolutely no interaction between us what-so-ever, she was extremely vanilla sex-wise and didn't get into any of it (meanwhile thanks to my A.D.H.D. I like to try lots and varied things). We were both to blame on this. I had mentioned the kinks I was into whilst we were dating and before we ever got intimate but years later she admitted to me she didn't take any of that seriously and thought with time I'd get over it (You know the classic, "it's just a phase mentality"). Meanwhile I was too nae to realise that she was on the rebound, pretending to be kinkier than she was rather than be alone and I overlooked a number of other incompatibilities that I should have paid attention to. There were many but the most important for this point was that we had vastly different senses of humour. Nowadays I make a compatible sense of humour part of my five criteria when looking for a partner not just because it is integral to my kind of kink but also humour is often a coping mechanism for our psyches. Being able to laugh together makes the good times sweeter and the tougher ones more bearable. Anyway I've gone way off topic now so back to the questions


Overall not that much, especially compared to other kinks. Whilst initially it was something that my own embarrassment at having a weird kink made it difficult to talk about I eventually got better as I have always attempted to inform prospective partners about my important kinks (and any hidden personal flaws such as how my disabilities A.D.H.D., dyspraxia, aphantasia etc) early in the dating process before we've ever got intimate. I've done this for various reasons. Firstly my priority has always been to find a reasonably compatible partner with whom to build a relationship, not accumulate notches on a bedpost. And so I quickly worked out if I want to find someone that I can find some reasonable sexual compatibility with then you got to become adult enough to talk about sex and kink without wanting to have the ground eat you up in embarrassment. Secondly that honesty is the best policy if seeking compatibility and finally I do not wish for them to find out about something that would be a deal breaker after they have started getting any feelings develop as it could hurt them and I wouldn't want to cause any hurt regardless of whether we plan to continue dating or not. There's already plenty of hurt and malice swirling around the world that we should avoid creating more or passing on any that comes our way to others I'm not saying just soak it all up as that eventually takes its toll but to find ways to sublimate it into something positive, like taking something dark and turning it into dark humour that amuses, using anger to fuel your next exercise routine or protest an injustice, using sadness to create art or use schadenfreude with a consenting masochist to create a scene you both get something beneficial out of. I'm not perfect, I mean sometimes due to my A.D.H.D. I might accidentally ghost someone (many times I can't respond to messages when I get them and with my A.D.H.D. I can wind up forgetting I received the message for ages with friends and people I've met up with and exchanged numbers with I let them know they can call if something has been waiting a few days and can't wait until we next meet and I'll happily catch up with them on the call. But long continuous messages with people I've not met, if I forget the message for too long they assume I've purposely ghosted them after a certain amount of time and are angry regardless of what you type so have learnt not to bother if I forgot for too long. (Basically with my disabilities I much prefer face-to-face talking and dating to the online scene).

But anyway I am quite practiced in having the conversation and as a result I've also been able to splosh with a number of female play partners that weren't originally sploshers both on and off camera. Of all my kinks Sploshing is not a hard one to introduce so much so that I don't consider my sploshing interests to be the kink that prevents me finding a partner. I reckon I could do a decent job of introducing it to a partner that I was compatible with in other areas.

And no I'm not particularly good looking, I could do with losing a few pounds nor am I stinking rich nor do I have the gift of the gab or have any other attribute that people might try claim was some overriding factor. Sploshing, whilst not mainstream, has a bunch of stuff I think many people are at least curious about like having seen gunge on TV are curious to try it out or things like a slapstick food fight might seem fun enough to try even for non-erotic reasons and I think that is why media love to keep coming back to feature sploshing as a kink in features. In the realm of kinks this I think is one of the easier ones to introduce to people. I've certainly got other kinks that whilst not particularly extreme most people come with inaccurate presumptions such that I believe they're more an impediment to finding a play partner or long term relationship with an accepting partner.


It may be difficult to find much here. There isn't much research into fetishes and kinks let alone anything specifically into Sploshing itself. Furthermore Psychology itself as a scientific field is in trouble due to its Replication Crisis. I studied Psychology at a UK university rated in the top ten for psychological research a couple years before the paper that uncovered the Replication Crisis in Psychology came out and I'll be honest I saw so many methodological flaws in the research being done whilst I was there that I wasn't surprised in the slightest. I have since buggered off into Computing instead.

As such even with what little research that has been done into the area I wouldn't be confident in saying that most of it wasn't better than just educated guesses.

But anyway here comes some articles with some educated guessing specifically on the topic of Sploshing then there's:

Katherine Gate's Deviant Desires book has some speculation (I can't post pictures of the relevant pages for copyright reasons), there's some brief speculation on the psychology of it the following various articles:
https://screenshot-media.com/visual-cultures/internet-culture/sploshing-tiktok-trend/
https://hornet.com/stories/10-unusual-fetishes/
https://drmarkgriffiths.wordpress.com/2015/04/30/wam-bang-thankyou-mam-a-brief-look-at-wet-and-messy-fetishes/

It's sort of tricky to point towards some of the current papers on how fetishes and kinks develop in general as many such studies also include discussion of paraphilias which are essentially the fetishes that even your most sexually liberal countries keep illegal (we're not talking like the prudish UK that makes even mild BDSM illegal but the sort of fetishes that even mentioning them in an academic capacity here will likely have the post taken down so as not to possibly result in a credit card company withdrawing support) for good reason. From a raw psychological point of view how the brain develops a fetish for something whether legal or illegal is likely through similar mechanisms but society has a vested interest in stopping or reducing the prevalence of paraphilias and so hence for researchers there is good reason to include the question of paraphilias in their research of fetishes whether for the ethical considerations of trying to find ways to tackle them and their spread or simply to add additional reasons for a research council to think it worth giving them funding to do the entire study.

As such I'm going to stick to just posting this article below that sums up various theories without touching on any paraphilias. But more in depth studies can be found with a google search.

https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/your-brain-fetish

Personally I have my own educated guesses and theories (and nope I can't claim they're that scientific either, just observations I've made). Firstly I think it is important to draw a distinction between a Fetish and a Kink. The typical explanation for the difference between a Fetish and a Kink is that a Fetish is something that someone must have to get aroused whilst a kink is something that can sexually arouse someone but isn't necessary (ie they have other things that can also arouse them). On the surface this appears to be just a matter of severity that one has a stronger effect than the other but I think there are crucial differences in how these are formed.

I go into this in more depth in this post I made here: https://umd.net/forums/developing-a-wam-fetish-later-in-life#postid_835928 But to go over it again my theory is that a Fetish comes about as a result of somebody at a certain point in their psycho-sexual development that has finally had all the required neurological structures develop to the point that it is biologically ready to start experiencing things like arousal but hasn't yet ever done so is sort of ready and waiting for its first cue to jump into action and then suddenly something happens that triggers an emotionally intense reaction that the arousal circuitry mistakenly things it is its cue and goes into action and suddenly that person's first arousing experience is to whatever happened to set off that intense emotional reaction and their brain makes its first connection between something and arousal. (See my previous link for more about the brain attempting to make connections).

Having now had its first taste of arousal and wanting to experience it again the individual may then repeatedly seek it out again, each time reinforcing the association between the thing they have a fetish for and their arousal centre there by making the connection deeper and deeper ingrained as well as triggering the arousal system's inbuilt addiction centres to make returning to the fetish more compulsive and further deepening that association at the expense of building further connections between their arousal systems and other things. As a result a Fetish is developed early, before any other things have triggered the sexual arousal systems, is more intense as the individual has hyper focused on that arousal trigger at the expense of finding any others and is often extremely specific to the situation that created the trigger and has been focused on during repeated reinforcement of that arousal trigger.

Kinks on the other hand develop later and people can find/develop kinks much later into life. Essentially as our sexualities grow and develop our brains create more connections and anything the brain finds similar to a previous arousing memory or a particular desire has a chance of forming into a arousal trigger as well and becoming a kink.

For example if an early crush you had responded to you with teasing and perhaps some sort of prank and not knowing how to respond to it and deal with your own emotions you responded with teasing of your own then perhaps things like the prankish brat play or a slapstick sploshing scene may remind subconscious part of the brain to that earlier mixture of arousal (the crush) and not so pleasant teasing and pranks but in a way that you're able to experience it safely and have fun that the brain creates a kinky connection and liking of it.

As a result I think many kinks are linked by some underlying theme linking back to either a common desire or some form of memory/experience many people commonly experience for example many people who've been bombarded with sex negative messages whilst growing up will have experience post-masturbatory shame which in itself might form an association between shame/humiliation and arousal such that some things that then later trigger feelings of humiliation, also then trigger arousal. For more on how humiliation and arousal can interplay check out some more of my blathering here: https://umd.net/forums/getting-messy-regularly-has-made-me-more?start=0#postid_859042

Whilst it could be argued that the BDSM and Sploshing subcommunities aren't entirely independent with some people dabbling in both each community has evolved relatively separately, and yet certain similarities that I elaborate on some of it in this post (https://umd.net/forums/co-ed-content-with-just-the-girl-getting#postid_838853) but to add to those point I'll also include the following two notes:

Sensation play: In BDSM this may be the differences between thudding, stinging, tingling, tickling, temperatures etc of difference toys and implements. Sploshing replaces the physical toys with liquids for different sensations of sticky, gooey, lumpy, sweet, savory, warm or cold etc.

Helplessness: The helplessness of being tied up is not too dissimilar to the helplessness of sitting precariously over a dunk tank or being locked in a gunge tank. Historically people that were locked in the pillory or stocks as a form of punishment were often also pelted by mud and rotten food by crowds. And the dunk tank was designed to be a safer replacement for the ducking/cucking stool to use at fun fairs (and the gunge tank/flush tank an even safer equivalent of dunk tanks) so there is even a non-erotic connection between bondage and messiness historically. So connections between bondage play and sploshing go further than the occasional Tied and Pied video or messy bondage scene it appears the semi-medieval inspiration of various BDSM dungeon bondage equipment is not too dissimilar in origins to Sploshing's big toys of dunk tanks and pillories.

Now when I say there are similarities between something like brats or primal play and sploshing that doesn't mean I think all brats or primals will like sploshing or vice versa. There are many reasons people can be into each of them. What I mean to say is that where there are people that like one of them for a very similar reason that others like one of the others that there is a decent chance that if they try the other things out in the same way that they might enjoy them also and find they have a new kink.

But anyway I've blabbered on too much so I'll just stick a couple more links to previous theorising I've done on kinks, sploshing and whatnot assuming this isn't already too much and bored the pants off everyone.


I'm probably not the best person to answer this. My most memorable sploshing scenes are the ones I've done with people in real life. As great as watching many of those scenes are/were due to my aphantasia I am unable to visual memories or generate mental images. As such I can't mentally picture the dogs I had growing up, I can't draw anything from memory (to be fair with dyspraxia my drawing ability is shit anyway even after working 3 years as a graphic designer at one point), I can't imagine anyone naked (whether a crowded room as the public speaking tip goes, or mentally undress anyone even if I've previously seen them naked), I can't day dream anything visual, I struggle to put names to faces (it takes me more times meeting people to find a way to remember them) and so I can't mental remember recall what any given scene looked like. When it comes to recalling things like erotic scenes the predominant memories I have are about how they felt. It's probably my the emotional side of sploshing and kink in general probably so important to me. But as a result real life scenes with both their more intense emotional responses and the tactile sensations within them always stand out more to me than scenes I've watched. Whilst I can recall how watching certain scenes made me feel (and therefore remember which ones to go see again to re-enjoy them) I can't mentally picture them like how someone might like mentally picture being with a celebrity or whatever. It is also probably why I spend more time on Literotica than watching particular scenes as many clips can be pretty emotionally empty of just going through the motions whereas writers have to go an extra mile in that area. So I'll defer to the better judgement of those who do like to mentally summon particular scenes to enjoy.

Good luck with the presentation and apologies again for the length of the answers.

Funnily enough, one of my several unfinished fiction stories depicts a "fetish class" where several participants get some hands-on training. It's very clean and consensual - I was actually hoping it would help some wammers introduce their partners to the fetish/kink. The chapter I'm working right now introduces my favorite type of WAM and some of the nuances of the reactions. Here are a few excerpts, feel free to use anything that's helpful (bear in mind it's tailored to my own tastes):

---

"We're going to cover one of the most common types of WAM and also one of the easiest to do yourself. I call it 'Gameshow Influenced Wam'. Many WAMmers - yes, that's a word - first discovered the fetish while watching gameshows that involved some sort of messy punishment, or sometimes a messy prize.

"I won't discuss these shows in detail because they were often made for kids, but we can make our own adult versions easily enough. The most common messy substances on these shows were whipped cream pies [] and what Americans and Canadians call 'slime' and what our British friends call 'gunge'

[]

"Pies are [] a great way to practice our first lesson: anticipation and reaction. Like most fetishes, these are just as important as the act itself. Depending on what the fetishist prefers, the wrong buildup and reaction can be deeply unsexy. But, every person is different, so for those of you with WAMer partners, make sure you talk about what they want to see and do.

"Gameshow-influenced WAM has two key characteristics. First, it's unscripted, or at least appears that way. This adds a sense of randomness and realism to the reactions. Second, consent is implied. I don't mean the type of consent you always need to have in the bedroom - or WAM room, as the case may be. I mean that participants in these games do so with the knowledge that they may be getting messy. They don't have to want to get messy, but they know it might happen. There are WAM setups that come off as surprises or feel mean-spirited. That's not what we're going for here. Gameshow-influenced WAM is a very silly, fun, and safe form of consenting humiliation. Sometimes the messy experience is even offered and accepted willingly.

[Julie volunteers to model the "nervous but enthusiastic" victim to the class; Samantha is the instructor]

"So this" - Samantha kept talking while she retrieved the pie; Julie smiled sweetly at the class as the teacher spoke - "has a bit of nuance to it. You definitely want to get messy, but like most people you have a little bit of apprehension. Maybe you don't want to get pied in front of so many people" she gestured to the class as Julie giggled "maybe you don't want to get it in your hair" she stroked the top of Julie's head "or ruin your makeup" she swirled an open palm in front of Julie's face as the target closed her eyes and giggled some more. "So there's some fun, playful tension as Julie is doing a great job demonstrating. The best way to think about the nervous but enthusiastic demeanor is that it's like riding a rollercoaster: you got on willingly, there's some nervous anticipation at the beginning, but once it gets going you just enjoy the ride."

---

So anyway, those are my thoughts on the particular style of WAM I like. There definitely seems like there's a spectrum of preference from playful to sadistic. I'm somewhere on the playful end but not completely, and I think that's because of the shows that introduced me were the type where everyone consented to participating. Not everyone is completely cool with being messy, but ultimately it's harmless, innocent, and fun.

As far as partners go, I've had two and both have had similar responses: sex-positive and accommodating but not into it themselves. They've been willing to get messy but it's definitely an inconvenience for them and not their idea of an ideal sexual encounter. That's worked out fine, though. It just means our sessions are less frequent than ideal (my current cohabitating relationship is complicated by a roommate).

I think it's actually a pretty easy fetish for a partner to fulfill. For me anyway the best reactions are the ones that most people have to getting messy. Sometimes I'll coach my partner on what I want ("ok, this time I want you to play someone who's always wanted to get pied and can't contain their excitement"), and it's really fun to experiment with different attitudes and personas. My first partner wanted fairly hardcore BDSM experiences as a bottom and I was terrible at it. I don't take naturally to the "dominating sadist" role. I hope she found someone who was better at it.

After 7 years with my current partner, I think we've finally figured out how to manage my kink during normal, "clean" sex. In the past we'd done either straight vanilla, which hampered my presence in the moment because I'd be off in WAM land in my head, or talked through a messy scenario, which killed her concentration on her own pleasure and required a lot of mental energy on her part just to make me happy.

Now we use WAM as a sort of "accelerator pedal." We'll set up a simple scenario, play-act with an open palm for "pies" while having sex, and it works wonders. If I start getting a little "out of the groove," either she or I will initiate a "pieing" and after about a 30 second interaction my passion is dialed back up and we both get the benefit of better sex. I just wish she had a similar kink I could reciprocate with, she's very vanilla.

1. Approach with a self-deprecating sense of humour, the promise that everything is just a shower away from being clean, and that if you get peckish halfway through then there's plenty of food for a snack - it's just attached to somebody.

2. From the youngest age I can remember, I was never concerned about getting wet or messy. It all clicked when I saw a kids' TV drama show where a girl ended up in a river fully clothed. I literally dreamt about that for days, even weeks, later. I then started getting wet reasonably frequently from then, which was probably around when I was 11-12yo. I honestly can't remember my first messy experience, but it was definitely in my teenage years. Once I moved out of the family home, I participated more frequently. An early long-term girlfriend would participate occasionally, but she was more into feminising me! My ex-wife and current wife (who is amazing, incidentally :loveeyes indulge me occasionally, but it's really a solo thing, sadly.

3. My wife has always known about it, but it doesn't do a great deal for her. As with other kinks, she'll indulge occasionally to make me happy, for which I am INCREDIBLY grateful.

4. Can't help you there, I'm afraid. Sorry.

5. I really wish I could remember what that first show was! Beyond that, there's nothing specific.

1. You want them to feel as comfortable as possible, so talking about it is the first step, understanding where their boundaries lie and where you want to take it. It's often best to start small, with little introductions of messy stuff into regular sex, but that said, the first thing I ever did with a partner was fill a bath tub with shaving cream!

2. I never "got into" sploshing - for me it's a true fetish and absolutely part of who I am at core level. I've enjoyed getting messy for as long as I can ever remember, and it automatically turned sexual as soon as I was old enough to reach orgasm. I used to play in deep mud as a child, always loved watching messy game shows, and loved the feel of shaving foam. I distinctly remember a few firsts - the moment of my first orgasm (yes, getting messy), the moment I discovered I wasn't alone (thanks to the internet), and the moment I first ever sat on a cake (what a feeling!).
As mentioned above, my first experience with a partner was my first long term girlfriend who also liked the idea of getting messy, although not to the same extent as me. She agreed to bathe in shaving foam with me. We also had a number of other WAM sex sessions and I even got her to sit on a cake. I've had two long term partners who shared it with me, although I am now married and my wife isn't into it, so these days I have come to enjoy sploshing alone because that way I get all the mess on me and don't have to share!! That said, all my fantasies involve a partner, so I guess I would if I could, and just have twice as much mess so I still got plenty.

3. It is potentially difficult, although I think the best thing to do is just be honest about it to your partner. It's a high stakes game though - as this fetish is so much a part of me, if your partner rejects it then it's like they don't like a part of you. My last two ex-girlfriends were both "game for it" and thought it was fun, so they didn't mind at all. My now wife finds it makes her feel slutty, and she doesn't enjoy it, so I have to respect that, and while it saddens me, our relationship is bigger than just my sexual fetish.

4. There's various schools of thought that suggest our sexual preferences are formed at about the age of 4, usually by some experience at that time. Well, at age 4 I was loving playing in big mud puddles, so I guess that explains a lot. For me, my messy fetish is so infused as to who I am I liken it to being gay, because in the same way that someone who is gay cannot deny who they are and who they are attracted to, I cannot deny the part of me that just loves to get messy (sometimes it literally takes over), and whilst it might not have the same social pressures, I really feel that my journey of self-discovery (realising the urge, feeling alone, exploring alone, discovering others, coming out both to myself and others, sharing experiences and thoughts, becoming part of a community, accepting who I am and enjoying it) echoes that of my friends who are gay.

5. Don't forget "The Great Race", which has one of the largest pie fights in movie history and hooked many a wammer (especially as Natalie Wood is basically in lingerie). Also the scene in "Tommy" with Ann Margaret is like a sploshers dream. In truth, any movie that just has someone getting very messy (often a woman, and often dressed in fine clothes or something sexy like underwear) will have fans on this forum, some of whom may have found those movie moments foundational in the realisation of their fetish.

PM me if you would like to discuss any of these things further.

The time has come y'all... my presentation is complete!! I can't thank you all enough for your help and participation. I featured a number of your answers in my presentation and can't wait to share it with the world

I'll be going live on Sunday at 12 PM MT If you're interested in checking out the presentation, tickets are being sold at this link: https://lolajean.com/7-days-of-domination?via=darla

Huge thanks again,
Darla

i have had to set up a whole new system for bringing in models now because of this ONE THING:

FULL ON HEAD COVERAGE.

i dont know why. I have NEVER HAD IT BE AN ISSUE EVER untilt he last couple of years. Ive had two girls PANIC on me. Like actually panic. They wanted to keep working for me...so l let them and then started to notice them dodging the pours on their face. no no no. cant do that with customs.
but with bringing a partner into it? idk how they feel about it. Honestly. Ive heard everything from "okay well, do i get paid to do this with you?" to "yeah dont ever ask me to do that" ive never had ANYONE actually GET INTO IT until they tried it. a few times. and found things they liked.

roomate? he likes to make a mess. blowjobs and mess, fucking and shoving my face into stuff. He enjoys more "naughty naughty nasty girl" stuff...if you know what i mean.
stephon likes mud...

recently really liked nuru....probably should have made it all that am though bc some was made before and was kinda cold. lol. but it didnt stay cold long. and he liked the pies. hes taken a lot of different messes. Mud is more his thing.

i got off topic. shit. sorry. lol

yep looking forward to this very much !