Look at how stupid I am in this photo. Everything needs plastering unrecognisable.

What should be used. You decide and I'll choose one of you at random to do it in person. Just tell me what you want to use from the list below and how you'd ensure that I'd be unrecognisable and stink after

Heinz Salad Cream topped with egg salad

HP original brown sauce topped with Branston pickle

Blue cheese condiment topped with blue cheese flakes

Heinz ketchup topped with tuna.

Ooooof what if you mixed them up -- cover your face/head in bleu cheese and then mixed in the egg salad. That feels really smelly and might even make you gag a little!

I agree that a mixture might a good idea. what about starting with the blue cheese shampooed into your hair followed by a coating of ketchup and then topped with a few tins of tuna in oil. That should make you a stinking mess for a good day or two Patsy

I like one colour at a time. Being plastered pale yellow, red or brown. Heinz salad cream topped with egg salad is a vinegary and egg stench, over powering stench on its own x

Ketchup topped with tuna chunks is awful x

So, what does my silly clown face and neck deserve to be plastered, stinky in? I really need to smell soooooo bad x

A HUGE, creamy, extra sloppy pie, with skunk spray smell mixed in.

You said "Ketchup topped with tuna chunks is awful x"

but thats why i suggestred it for you patsy, the vinegar in the sauce would make your hair smells for ages and the oily fish would add to your stinky head. Patsy you dont need suggestions treally as you already have the most amazing ideas as your pic collection shows