Its just me, naked, and some mayo. I hate it! Yet, it is so smooth I can't help but head dunk, face plant, pie myself and masturbate and make myself cum in it! I plant my face into huge paper plates of mayo, I grab handfulls and slap them onto my face and rub them around to create a thick, creamy layer. I turn to the side to show you just how thick it is! I love to stick out my tongue and see if I can Not get any in my mouth! That didn't work! After doing this so many times I am so out of breath... I decide that all the mayo needs to go in a bucket with more mayo and I for sure need to head dunk in it... many times! I go all the way under, I feel my head touch the bottom of the bucket and I try to push further. I come up and it is stuck to my face and has pulled my hair over my face! so strange! So, I go under again and again... my face and hair becoming so thick and saturated and I love that! The smell was awful but now? It is tolerable. I can feel it sliding down my body and it is so smoooth and so cool on this hot day. I have the overwhelming urge to start smearing it on my body... so... I grab the bucket and turn it upside down over my head and let it pour. I reach up and scrape all I can over my head and plop it in big globs onto my face and head, creating a huge blob of mayo that is my head! I stick out my tongue, I grab more from the floor, slap it onto my face. I grab my hair, thick with the mayo and add even more! I am in awe of how much it holds and how incredible this looks! I smear it all over my body... I am now officially turned on by mayo! How can this be? I hate the stuff! Alas... I fully cover my body and my hands start to make their way to my pussy. I laugh and start to play with myself as if I think nothing will come of it. I don't laugh long. It feels amazing on me. My hands are slippery on my pussy and I'm getting so wet! I take the other hand and slap more mayo on my face I wiped off a few minutes ago. I start to rub my clit harder and faster. I keep slapping more onto my face. I keep moving my two fingers up and down my clit till it almost hurts... but hurts so good. I can feel it. I'm going to fucking cum! I take a deep breath and fall back on my butt after such a rousing orgasm... in mayonnaise for fucks sake! If this doesn't show me that I really fucking love a good mess? I don't know what will! I settle back and I've got a case of the giggles because I am shocked that I came so hard in it! I smile, I swipe more of the condiment on my face with my eyes open "like I'm painting my face" with the substance. I play with my hair and its total, crazy thickness. I squeegie it and put more on it. Mayonnaise is really awesome for hair messes! It sticks beautifully and so creates a glorious pulling sensation and it coats every strand! I talk to you about the time I have had... giving laughs, smiles and continuously rubbing on my body. Mayhaps the mayo has grown on me. Will I ever eat it? Absolutely not!