Do any of you guys have wives/girlfriends who refuse to do WAM stuff with you? Or perhaps they'll do some things--wetlook, maybe--but not others--mud, pies, gunge.
If so, how do you handle this? Are you seeing women on the side who will do these things? Do you buy lots of clips/DVDs? Do you hang out on UMD a lot? Or do you just grudgingly accept the situation?
My girlfriend has been quite willing to do stuff with me. The only thing that she doesn't like is the cleanup!

My wife is not into wam, but the great wife that she is, will submit to my wam fetish, and allow me to throw pies in her face. But the trade off is that I have to do something nice for HER, or submit to one of HER fantasies or fetishes (even if it's something that I don't really like). You have to give a little to get a little. All is fair in love and wam!

Just tell her you also have a "cleanup fetish"!

My wife hates wam. She has no interest in it, in fact she has said it is gross.

I would never cheat on her, so I spend a lot of time here, enjoying the lovely ladies getting messy and wet! And I have some very hot conversations with some of them!

I also get vids, when I can, but that's not real often.

I've also taken matters into my own hands, so to speak, and have done an enormous amount of self-wamming over the years!

Norman

Well thank you for starting this thread! This whole subject has been bothering me for some time, my long term girlfriend found me on umd the first time some years ago and went absolutely crazy, called the whole thing sick and things were pretty rough for some time. Needless to say I removed my account

But. A few months ago I popped on to see what's what and signed up again but I have such guilt over the whole thing because if she ever found out I'm pretty sure it'd be over and we've been through so much together I really wouldn't want that.

However. Such is my love and interest for wam I just can't stay away so it's very much a private passion I have here and it would be great to get chatting to other people on here specially other people who may know what I'm chatting about.

Sooo....does that make me a disgusting human being (literally?) or is it ok to have a little private passion which is fine as long as it's kept private and doesn't interfere in the relationship for the good of the relationship? That is the quandary!

These guys got it right - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2980708/

Oh and to stay on forum subject, there is wam in this movie.

In my opinion, it's part of who we are. And if your significant other takes issue with it, then they are taking issue with you. I personally have very little interest in being changed, but I realize that for some there is conflicting desires, so I judge no man. But I'll have no relationship unless its one where I'm 100% accepted as who I am, Wam and all.

Ditto here. We do trade off on our kinks from time to time.

Should've removed the girlfriend.

I had a friend that reacted like that when I told her about it. We are no longer friends. I appreciate it's not the same this as a lover/partner. But if you think about it, some friends are with you a lot longer than some partners.

Anyway, I always tell a person about it before we even go on a first date. I would hate to have to stop getting messy. It would be like taking a huge part of me away and that is just cruel. Like my ex, he hated it, he tried to indulge in it, but he couldn't quite deal with it.

I feel sorry for those of you who have wives/partners who can't stand it. They need to try to be more open minded. But also, when telling your partner about it, you shouln't act ashamed or embarrassed because they will pick up on that.

I have always tried to please my ex partners and try what they like. So I can see it from the other side too. One ex was obsessed with anal. I said no for a long time but eventually felt pressued into it, he even used the line, 'if you loved me, you'd do it'. Yes, he is a total cunt. so I tried but hated it so much. He could see I was in pain but didn't care. If only he'd asked to pie me instead!! At least with wam it's not painful. It's fun and harmless.

Another ex had quite a big smoking fetish, I was happy to indulge being a smoker. But at the same time, I knew he would be ok without it. It's not something he HAD to do to be turned on, he just liked it a lot. but when wam is such a big part of your life, your partner needs to allow you to indulge in it somehow. If it's not getting messy with them, then looking at pics or watching videos. It's all about compromise!

Jessie

My wife will gladly take pies in the face whenever I want(I really don't push it all that often, though), and to recompense I scoop the cat litter boxes. Thats a lot of scooping over 15 plus years.

Shit, the few times my wife has gotten me messy I didn't even dare dream of asking her to clean-up! I cleaned myself up, the mess up, the entire bathroom, and scrubbed the mutherfucking shit out of the bathroom until I'd be happy drinking out of the toilet bowl!!!!!!!!!! If the biggest complaint is she doesn't like the clean-up you are set, put a ring on that finger, and hold on to her for dear life.

My wife doesn't get the fetish and has little interest, though she has occasionally indulged me because it makes me happy. But for my kicks I mostly just spend time here on UMD, buy videos occasionally, and every few months take a day off of work and enjoy a little self wamming.

I'd never think of inviting another woman into my physical presence to splosh with...... but then again I want to get messy, not get her messy, so I don't need another woman here. However, I have considered maybe trying a Skype-session with one of the lovely ladies here on umd for some splosh instructions....

I remember when I first told my wife. I was scared to death since I had never openly shared I with another relationship not to mention person face to face before. I built it up a little like " ok there I something you need to know about me...i have a kink..." I beat around the bush for sometime and when I finally came clean she was like " oh...that's it? Huh" she was actually relieved that it wasn't something worse like being into guys, or wanting to be treated like an adult baby. Since then she has indulged me and we have had conversations about it from time to time about all the nuances and subtleties of my fetish. She has let me video tape our sessions and they are epic. We don't do it too often as she wants to keep it special and use it to really surprise me. One tip I have is that I make sure to take very good care of her "needs" before or after the pies and its always incredible sex since my heart and nerves are going crazy like a teenager.

I'm truly sorry to those who are in relationships where your significant other wont take your needs into consideration. You should be with someone who loves you for you and any kink you might have I just a bonus.

I've been married for 12 years and have 2 kids. When we were dating and in the early days of our marriage, we occasionally wammed. She was never into it, but she did it for me. Then as time went on and after the kids came along, occasional wam turned to never, and we've gotten to the point where we maybe have sex twice a year, if we're lucky. I think having kids has put a damper on things. Now we've found ourselves in this rut. So I come here to the UMD, buy my share of wam-clips, and watch a lot of porn, all the while trying to hide these things from my wife. I often wonder if I made the right choice getting married, but I am trying to make the best of it. It is probably a good thing that I don't have extra 'hidden' money to pay for wamming with escorts, because I would probably do that if I could, and then I'd probably get caught and divorced. I have a feeling there are a lot of stories out there like mine.

Cinnamon,

I've been where you are..... my story is exactly the same. Sploshed a few times while "young", rarely once kids came into our lives, then never. Sex dropped off to once or twice a month..... actually got to a point of dreading sex.

We've since turned things around, but it wasn't fun or easy. There was a very hard 6-8 months where my wife and I were often fighting (mostly me instigating) and it was miserable......... now, it was miserable because we weren't talking to each other we were talking at each other.

Once I figured out how to talk TO my wife about things, and we aired all our complaints and grievances in a constrictive manner things started to change. After years of holding things back, keeping quite, and maintaining the peace we both had a lot of built-up resentment and anger which took time to air out and get through.

But we got through it...... She came to terms with the fact I was a fetishist and it would never change and I came to terms with the fact that she was vanilla and it would never change. HOWEVER, we did outline compromises, steps to take, and hard limits. She agreed to indulge me a few specific areas and I promised to show more appreciation for even small gestures and to not ask/hint about her limits.

I won't say things are perfect and we have a story-book marriage now..... but we are both far happier. Sex went from 1-2x a month to 1-2x a week and she was incorporating "chocolate sprinkles" more willingly into our vanilla sex. Still no regular sploshing though, unfortunately. But in the last year-and-half she has offered to pie me twice! So that is far better than we had been for almost 5-years

Talk to your wife!!!!! Its going to suck, you are going to dread it, and you will wonder why you even opened up that can of worms..... but damnit for your wife, you, and your marriage TALK TO HER!

Every time we do this thread it's just soul-killing.

Better dead than wed.

I'm in a similar place to Cinnamon Bun. Kids appear to have killed the sex life, and what little WAM I got before with my vanilla wife has long since gone. I can only hold on to hope that she will one day come around, and in the mean time visit here twice a week and get messy solo when I can.

This thread was done before pretty recently... Take a look:
https://umd.net/forums/long-term-relationships-with-n

It's important to be honest to your partner(s) and if WAM is so important to you then if it's not something that they are willing to share then maybe they're not the one for you.
I'm polyamorous so I have the joys of having some partners that are into it and others who are not but I have great fun with them all regardless and they are all well aware of who I am and what I get up to.

I wish you all the best in finding someone special but I would advise you to examine what is truly important to you and your way of life

My wife isn't into it but does it for me. I thought she was getting into it when I managed to give her an orgasm when she was covered in pie but the next time we did it I pushed her into doing it and now we haven't done anything messy for 6 months. Its hard, I have tried telling her to just mess me if she doesn't want to get messy, but she doesn't see the point in that. She knows I have messed solo in that time but I don't think she realises how messy I do get solo!!

Still at the end of the day I love her more than anything, if she can put up with me being part of this site and getting messy every now and then that is more than I can hope for.

I've always treated WAM as a hobby not a lifestyle. That said my wife will indulge me rarely, I like the humiliation aspect and she doesn't want to treat me that way. So we do very little, but it's honestly not too big of deal. We have a wonderful life together and BFD if I don't get everything I want sexually.

On the other hand, I really have laid all my cards on the table, she knows most everything I do like. I would really appreciate if she would use that knowledge once in a while, she has it within her power. I never felt like begging/nagging was acceptable, I want her to join in because she wants to, not because of obligation. If I felt she was doing it just to appease me, it would kill the thrill.

All in all, it's a pretty wonderful life. I'm not gonna divorce someone because they won't explore something sexually. Cutting your nose off to spite your face.

As you can see from my profile Susan is very into it... But there are days where I REALLY want to do it and she does not... But she is my wife and wants to make me happy so what she will do is help with all the prep and clean up... but as a trade off instead of getting messy with me she will tell me what to wear... sometimes something of mine.. some time something of hers... and instruct me what to do with X amount of buckets of chocolate cake batter. Its interesting...

My wife was pretty open to the idea. Our first time as I remember was a bit of a learning experience in which we made a huge mess that took the weekend to clean up. But now after 9 years, we have streamlined it, and cleanup takes 5 minutes. (I dispose of the plastic sheeting while she washes the shower, it's curtains, and the bathroom floor.) eventually we took it to the next level, and found a lovely mud flat out in the marshy area of the bay, and she started to get more comfortable with the idea of submerging her whole body. Now that she is comfortable with it, she has moved past even the point of comfort into the area of desiring it. I find her asking when we can go back out into the mud. Yesterday she sent me a tidal chart of our spot... Lol. Anyway, the point is, just explain to her how important you feel it is to you personally. Offer a trade off, as well as an "out". Let her know if she tries it, she can end it when it's too much for her. Take baby steps. Even Vampiress had to start off slowly, just talking "dirty" during sex... And now she will lay on her back and spit mud over her head. For some women it's just a thing they need time to learn, or try. I wish you all the best of luck with it. But I will say this. If she feels uncomfortable, or forced. It totally ruins it. For both of you. If my wife isn't enjoying herself too, then it's not going to benefit me either.
Cheers

Tidal? But going by that last amazing pic set, isn't your spot a lake of some sort?

(If you tell us you've found *two* incredible spots to slop your girl around in, though, imma lose my shit. )