Hi if this doesn't belong here please delete,
I messed up big by talking to a councilor about past sexual abuse and im really worried. Side note this happened a few months ago and I can't stop thinking about. I'm in the UK have aspergers and mental issues and disylixia so sorry about how this is written. I had a history of abuse as a kid, when I talked about it in thearpy they wanted to put a safe guarding thing in and wanted to put me on a vulnerable person's register which my social worker vetoed that. I want to point out I don't actually understand any of it to be honest. Apparently a copy goes to social worker and one to the police.

I'm scared alot and can't stop crying and feeling awful because what if the police question my abuser and what if they somehow find out? It'll destroy everything and I am scared if the abuser has to get a background check or anything similar it'll show up. If anything happened to me what would happen? Would they look into it?

I'm so sorry I'm scared and this has been on my mind constantly and I can't sleep or eat, I'm suicidal and I don't know what to do anymore, I desperately don't want my abuser to know and I regret ever opening my mouth I wish I never spoke about it. Does anyone have an advice on how to deal with this ?

Flora french, I can't believe someone did that to you, I'm so so so sorry, your actually probably right though you always are, your the wisest person I've ever met <3

I'm sorry that happened to you, and I'm sorry that you're having a tough time now.

I'd encourage you to talk to your therapist again, and tell them what you just told us. I.e. make it clear that you're scared and confused, and ask them to explain what's going on in a way that you can understand. You could also ask them to clarify the rules on confidentiality: if you tell them something, are they going to repeat it to other people without your permission?

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I'd guess that there are two reasons to put you on a safeguarding register:
a) If the person who did it is still around (e.g. a neighbour).
b) If the same tactic might work on you again (e.g. "hey kid, do you want to see some puppies in the back of this van?")

If your social worker has vetoed the suggestion, that implies that they don't think you're at risk, which is good news. Again, I'd encourage you to talk to them and ask why they did that - they might be able to put your mind at rest.

Firstly, your suicidal thoughts;
Call the Samaritans on 116 123
National suicide prevention on 0800 689 5652
SOS on 0808 115 1505.

I am sorry you have had such a bad experience with a therapist, if you would like to talk to me for advice etc I am around. I am a therapist trained in sexual and relationship issues, I can contact my supervisor and try to get any clarification you need on what has happened. You don't need to give me any specifics/names etc.

I am not sure of what has happened or how far it has gone. If the social worker vetoed it then it would stop there and nothing more will happen (unless the therapist goes on, which is against our ethics).

A therapist should not break confidentiality with anyone without asking you first, or telling you what is going to happen (e.g. calling a G.P. is there is a high chance of suicide).
You have every right to tell them not to contact anyone (and if they do against your wishes, please report them, or I can, to whichever body they are with e.g. BACP, UKCP etc).

Good luck and Stay safe. Remind yourself that the brain often goes to 'worst case scenario' when panicking, while the reality is it's rarely that bad. Lean on your support network wherever you have them, that is what they are for!

This is a lot different from how things are in the states. There is a patient Dr. confidentiality that needs to be honored. How can they expect you to get help for things if there is the possibility that your abuser will find out? What if your abuser decides to take action against you, is the law now responsible for anything negative that happens? I hope they do not say anything to your abuser. I can tell you that with situations I know about with various people in my life, if there was a chance their abuser would find out about what was being discussed in therapy, they would completely shut down. Being ready to talk about abuse and being ready to face your abuser are two very different things.

Also, can we talk about creating a vulnerable persons registrar?? I know that predatory people are good at spotting victims, but making it easier for them?? Because we know that information can be penetrated and exploited. Who in their right mind would think that a database of vulnerable people ripe for the taking was a good idea? What the fuck!! I am so glad your therapist veto'd that idea! It sounds like you have a therapist that has your best interest in mind rather than what some of the legal folks would want.

I visit this site when I have nightmares

https://forum.malesurvivor.org/

Many folks in uk are on it

Also here is a wam discord if you up for needing to talk to anyone over about it using the voice chat feature

https://discord.gg/J5UPm2ZHgs


Also this may help https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9TpN3Ra7jj4