Hi. Long term lurker, first time poster.

A couple of years back I plucked up the courage to tell someone about my WAM fetish for the first time ever - my beautiful and amazing girlfriend, who I'm still together with now. Since then, she's agreed to a few messy sessions with various foodstuffs, and it's literally been a dream come true.

Unfortunately, whilst it's been fantastic for me, it's been... less fantastic for her. Whilst she is still keen for occasional messy shenanigans in principle, in practice almost every substance we've tried has been one she's not wanted to use again.

So the challenge is... what substance would you recommend for WAM-play that abides by the criteria below?

* Poured not pressed (no cake, no pies)
* Not mushy (no porridge)
* Nothing with sugar particles that can irritate eyes (no homemade cake batter)
* Edible, ideally tasty (think this rules out gunge)
* Not smelly (no cream or other dairy, which had formerly been our staple)

Lest we think that she's the only fussy one, I also have requirements of my own - basically nothing too thick or too thin, and ideally nothing coloured brown.

For context, the scale of what we're doing is pretty modest by this site's standards. A few cartons on top of the bed - no buckets or tarpaulins here.

Thinking caps on... any suggestions?

There is literally nothing left, given your criteria.

It's possible that WAM is just not for her. Has she got a female friend she could invite round and you could both WAM her instead?

Yeah, there's nothing.

Your best bets are chocolate or mud. But you don't want brown, so...

A shame Tinder isn't a messy substance cuz that's my recommendation.

Sugar free jello
Or use cake batter and give her a pair of goggles to wear, or just go neck down messes
Or shampoo/conditioner slimings in the bath

What about something like maple syrup or corn syrup? Also, cooking oils would fit your description too (as long as you're not planning on using a latex condom for sex at the same time). While more wet than messy, sodas would also potentially fit your description.

Cool whip is non dairy. That might be better than regular whipped cream.

Tinder is only if you want to get messy with craft beer and dogs.

My wife is pretty particular about getting messy too. We've found WARM substances are the most tolerable.

I put dry instant oatmeal into a food processor and chop it into dust, then add hot water and mix. It takes a lot more water than you expect to get it thin enough to pour as it thickens as it sits. No sugar, not mushy, and actually quite pleasant.

Good luck!

Go to the baking aisle of the store and there are lots of little bottles of concentrated flavourings! Gunge is generally a food thickening agent and therefore is edible, I believe that it's the colouring that brings the taste, so uncoloured gunge, add a nice flavour (do it slowly recipes generally work in drops of the stuff) if you'd like me gunge coloured food colouring could be used (same area of the store)

Things like custard become a bit more pleasant when warm, sit the cartons or cans in a sink full of hot water, when it cools drain and refill, the custard will warm up to at least remove the cold shock sensation.

Strawberry glaze? Good luck!!!

Unbaked swiss meringue?

Some caution might be needed, as it seems like a lot of the substances used for gunge (Methylcellulose, for example) have a laxative effect and are even used in some laxative products. So not inedible as such, but perhaps you wouldn't want to swallow much!

For the OP, it's hard to think of anything right away, but I'd maybe look into some of the vegan yoghurt substitutes. The coconut versions in particular might just tick all of your boxes, though they're quite pricey (maybe OK if you're only using a couple of cartons).

Washable paint. It fits nearly every criterion except someting you'd eat, but fortunately, it's non-toxic. That being said, not eating paint to begin with is probably something you can get around with little difficulty.

To recap, don't eat paint.

Flour and water / semolina and water? Smooth, unlike porridge, and can be mixed to varying thickness, contains no sugar, no dairy, pretty inoffensive and bland to taste.

As Iain says most gunges are a food thickener. Xanthan gum is used in lots of foods and can even be bought in some supermarkets. We sell ours uncoloured so you could use a food colouring if you wanted to add colour although we do recommend poster paint for the best colouring. At £5.99 / kg thats a lot of mess.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/132390871483

Flour and water sticks to hair and forms little balls of flour that are very hard to remove. The solution is to add LOTS of oil when making it. Cake batter works better and you don't need to add oil.

Spaghetti sauce? I'm not sure how something can be tasty but not smelly... Unless you just mean smells bad, not has any smell at all?

Sweet freedom do some amazing different dairy free nice sauces. Warming any substance makes a huge difference to the enjoyment factor. A warm oil massage is amazing and very intimate.

Ultimately though I'd ask your partner what she would like to try?
It shows how much you want this to be something you both enjoy and share together.

Let us know how it goes.

Enjoy x

I just thought of something else with others' suggestions...

Coconut oil full body sensual message! It is solid at room temperature, but turns to liquid at body temperature. Oily and slippery, smells amazingly good, and is great for the skin.

Yeah, that just about writes everything off unless you make slime.

If custard has failed, maybe try a strawberry custard...

Those two are the problem. Gunge is non smelly and is edible (being food thickener as others have said) but doesn't taste great unless you spend a lot of time adding flavourings and probably sugar - I once read that on the Noel Edmunds show they added sugar to the gunge so people wouldn't gag if they got some in their mouths.
Custard is tasty but is also dairy-based and will smell if it starts to go off (and will become utterly horrific if left to really go off).

I have the answer - fast food milkshakes!

It's actually used as a thickener, although I'll bet that quickly adds:

- Not cold.


To the list.

custard
on balance of all the things we tried, it was the easiest to work with.
If the joy of slippery is what you want then oil works as a starter.
You are experimenting so keep it simple, one substance at a time. see which works, score them and when you have the ones that work, try combining.
Remember its fun as well as sensual and sexual.
Get your GF to take the lead.

I mean, how about good ol H2O? Nothing like a nice shower or bath together. It's about the only thing my ex would even tolerate.

Hello everyone!

After all your really great advice, I figured the best thanks was to report back on how talking to my girlfriend went.

Firstly, and probably most importantly, I wanted to respond to the it's-not-for-her/listen-to-her-soft-no/stop-asking suggestions. There's no doubt that this is my fetish and not hers. We find ways to make it work for her too, both in the moment (powerplay stuff she's into, plus, you know, sex) and on other occasions (making sure she gets to explore her fantasies too). But because this is, to at least some extent, something which she does to please me, we talk a lot to make sure it is still something she is enjoying, and wants to continue to do before sessions, after sessions, scheduling in between. Having a few people offer that feedback though has been a good reminder to check-in again, with a no-pressure offer for her to step back if she want to, and assurance that she can do so at any time and have my support whilst doing so. She says she still wants to do stuff, if we can find something that fulfils her criteria, and I believe her

(For the record, I have asked her before about what she'd like to try, but I tend not to get much of a response. She can be a little reserved/indecisive/submissive at the best of times, even more so for something like this, which she doesn't understand all that well even with my attempts to explain it to her.)

Anyway, I talked her through all the things people in this thread suggested. (Including infidelity and threesomes. She thought those were funny.) The clear winner was custard, and we're going to try it out on Saturday. I'm very excited!

Happily there were other options in this thread that also seemed viable, and that we plan to try out at some point. Baby steps for now, but it's all good stuff.

The other good thing about getting this down somewhere and talking it through is that I got a more complete understanding of what her requirements were for example, the problem with the dairy smell was less an in-the-moment thing, than a concern about keeping onto clothes and waterproof sheets that continue to carry the smell after washing, which then stink out whatever they're stored in. Which is easily solved by throwing that stuff out more often.

Thanks again for your help wish me luck for Saturday!

Seems to me like you are nailing the communication thing, I would like to add that it would not be "infidelity" if it was agreed on.

I am polyamorous, I understand that my partners have needs and that while I would do them, I might not be into them or as good as others are (most of my GF's are into BDSM, I am not a Dom by any means so 'subspacing' them is pretty much impossible). For this reason we have play partners as well as other intimate partners.

I understand that it is not be for everyone but at least you brought it up and might be something in the future, possibly a session with various people on here or even an escort if you want more.

Good luck.

Good luck for Saturday Unkked. Like you, my wife and I went through a period of working out how WAM could work for her, and it definitely shows the value of communicating as you've been doing. For her, anything that felt sticky on her skin was a real no-no, so syrups, treacle, even melted ice cream were all out. After some experimentation, custard has always been our main go to substance and the one she enjoys most, so I hope it works the same magic for you and your gf.

P.S: I did see recently natural yoghurt suggested as a good wam substance by someone (possibly LisaMoomin?) - not tried it myself but apparently it's very gentle on the skin and does have a fairly neutral odour for a dairy product.

Blasphemy!!! But I will look past it this once!

[edit - PS now I see page 2... well good luck on Sat!]

My advice - talk to her about what SHE might like. Work to build up the experience around that. Chances are she is not keen about having ANYTHING just dumped on her. But if you make it part of a night out on the town, romantic experience, maybe take a shopping trip with the express purpose of finding something that looks fun. Any other way to make it a 'special' occasion where the WAM is not just for WAM's sake, she might have a better experience. In essence, you have to foreplay WAM just like sex.


As far as substances, looking down your list, a few things come to mind...

Honey, syrup, or in the UK, I believe it's 'treacle'? Sure they have sugar, but not really 'particulates'. Though if you're doing such small quantities, should not be hard to keep out of eyes... or possibly even get some swimming goggles?

Possibly some flavored massage oil?

Non-dairy pudding? Vanilla, lemon, banana, most other fruits would avoid the brown / chocolate issue.

Make your own edible slime... corn starch + sugar as a base + flavorings / colors of your choice? Should be able to control about everything that way.

Either way, good luck! Remember, even trying things, but not doing them again is still trying them!