I've recently come out of, what was in hindsight, a bad relationship. It lasted for just over a year, and in that time, I was very transparent with her about my various kinks and turn ons. Including my wam fetish.

I mentioned the wam fetish very early on in our relationship and she originally thought this was funny and didn't really seem to mind it. A few months into the relationship I invited her to try it with me and she was nervous, but once she tried it, seemed to enjoy the sensation because it was clearly exciting me.

She told her best friend what we'd been getting up to (which I was initially horrified about, because I consider that kind of thing really personal and private). Her best friend as it happens, had also dated someone who liked wam and had tried it herself.

We dabbled with it a few times over the course of our relationship, but it was not a massive thing for us. We had a fantastic sex life regardless of wam.

During heated arguments however, my girlfriend would sometimes bring up the subject of my wam fetish and suggest that I was a p****ophile because gunge is traditionally associated with childrens tv.

This really upset me because I find the idea of p****philia absolutely repulsive, though I understand why she might have made that connection, It really hurt my feelings to be told this by someone I respect so highly.

After we broke up, she told me that I should get professional help about my gunge fetish. Now i don't believe that for a second. My fetish is healthy and concerns me getting messy with consenting adults and while the roots of my fetish might be traced back to childhood, I do not consider it associated in any way.

I explained to her that my fetish probably stems from the fact that as kids, you are always being told "don't touch that, its dirty", "don't go in the puddles, you'll get all wet" etc, and then as adults you have the freedom to explore these things and realise you like these formerly forbidden sensations. I really enjoy the sensation of being gunged and how good your girlfriends body feels when its all slippery. Lets face it, gunge sex is awesome!!

Have any of you been accused of this kind of thing, or had to justify your fetish to ignorant people? Has anyone ever used it to attack or humiliate you in public?

The whole experience has left me a little afraid to mention it to a future girlfriend. Which would be a shame, because its part of who I am.

*Edit: Another user suggested I avoid the use of the P-word. I totally understand people's anxieties about the use of that word, i thought it was justified in the context of my piece, but I have censored it none the less.

WOW...just...wow. SO many things to comment on here. Short answer, no, I have not, and I wouldn't either. If others don't have to explain why they like being tied up, beaten, humiliated, cut, burned, dommed, etc, then I don't have to explain why I find consensually rolling around on an air mattress with a beautiful woman covered in J-lube or gunge.

1. She "liked" it but then used it to call you a pedo...
2. Her BFF had a boyfriend that also did it, does her group exclusively date pedos?
3. She acknowledged it early on, and then later used it against you.

Sad to say, I don't have much experience here. My only relationship was about 20 years, and my ex never made fun of me, antagonized me, or put me down about it. She thought it was weird, never understood it, and didn't like it; but still indulged me at least 3 times (primarily wetlook) in our marriage.

Similar to your experience, I find the tactile sensation out of this world, and the visual appeal is a bonus.

It surprises me still how many people seem to vilify WAM but are totally ok with things like oil massages, and mud wrestling as acceptable.

There's nothing wrong with you...at least regarding this.

Yes ... and the judge was not terribly receptive.

PS - Chicks are always going to tell their BFFs about your kinky shit. No way around it.

PPS - I have a hunch your thread will get nuked just because you used the p-word. Which is stupid, but I've sensed there's some undisclosed (and, who knows, maybe justified) paranoia around SEO or narcs or something. Would encourage you to make a copy of it (well, the rest of it) so you can retry if that happens.

Mostly I have to justify it to myself and to any animals it hurts.
Hence a constant vigilante search for alternatives must be maintained.

I've tried justifying it to my wife, but she's not accepting it..... but for different reasons. She is upset for the wasted food that is normally involved in sploshing. I don't argue with her on this point though, because even I feel a bit bad about it myself.

However, that is different from your situation and I would encourage you not to dwell on it! Obviously she has a problem with the idea of kinks, fetishes, and WAM.... but that is HER problem, not users. Its one thing to say "Not my kink" but its an entirely different thing to criticize a person for their kink.

Thank you all for your comments - all very supportive on the whole.
Of course, I know she is saying what she is saying to provoke a reaction and to hurt me.

I agree with everyone else who has said that your ex is being manipulative and mean-spirited. It's good that you've moved on.

As for the subject itself. I do think about it quite a bit. I'm turned on by the tit-for-tat or revenge aspect of pie fights, which blends pretty nicely with the ideal of fairness. Also, it's anti-narcissistic (a good thing!) without being sadistic.

And, yes, it's playful hedonism, which (to some people) might seem childish or worse. But there's a difference between being playful and being childish. I can be serious, and know when and how and why; actually, I am most of the time. But I don't find frowns and submissive/dominance behavior sexually appealing. The worst you can say about that sort of situation, in general, is that there might be some indirect effects that the pie fetish has on the ability to handle rocky relationships (since it sets the default sexual mood at the level of an episode of Three's Company, while most people are more emotionally comfortable with a mood that is at the level of Days of Our Lives). But, in my defense, it at least seems like a good-natured ideal.

Just wondering if you ex had any mental health issues, might be something to consider since she was able to tell her bff and it seemed to be an acceptable topic but then when she was upsetting she lashed out at u? It may have been she was displacing other feelings and was unable to deal with her own feelings so she used you and wam to target you versus acknowledging her own feelings. Not that would mean she had mental health issues but if she did it could explain the change in how she responded to you. Hope the next one is able to be more accepting and fair in how they approach the subject with you

My wife thinks all guys are weirdos and are either abusive, cheaters, secretly gay or all of the above. Her reaction to the WAM fetish was a non-event. I was relieved. She still thinks its weird as hell but said that if the worst thing she has to do is get hit with pies or covered with chocolate every few weeks, no biggie. In other words, not a bad trade in order to have a trusting, respectful 50/50 relationship.

I could see it being an issue if she didn't have such a mature view of relationships and marriage. In your case it sounds like just a bad relationship and an easy shot to fuck with your head. In the end I think my wife is right, most guys have other issues that are more dangerous, dysfunctional or abusive. A few pies followed by a shower isn't a big deal.... her words. I don't know if this will always be the attitude, especially as we age and have kids. I think the frequency and level of mess will come down.

This is the risk we all take when we're open and honest in a relationship. It's unfortunate, and embarrassing in the short term, but you're better off without this immature person in your life!

Here's something to consider about WAM, or any kink/fetish:
Would you choose a partner you otherwise wouldn't be with -- and potentially endure misery -- because that person is into WAM? If so, maybe you want to chat with a mental health professional; you should control your kinks rather than letting them control you. But it doesn't sound like you have that problem at all. Your ex is just being cruel. You're lucky you got away.

And besides, she's probably pissed because every time she tells one of her (more attractive) friends about your "weird" taste for WAM, the friend tells her that it actually sounds really hot.

I agree with the people above - you should never have to justify it and your ex was just being cruel and spiteful. There's nothing wrong with being into adult WAM, it's just harmless fun. Sorry to hear you had to go through that.

I would have her killed.

Also... Dirty Blonde's wife sounds like a commendably level-headed and intelligent woman. Well done, Dirty Blonde.

I've had to explain it many many times but never had to justify (and I never would).

The OP's experience is horrible, and I'm glad I've never been put in that position.

Oh, please, you would have anybody killed.

1) Someone put the pedophilia idea in her head. Probably her BFF.
2) It's good your relationship is over. She doesn't sound like a very good partner.

It is true we girls tell our BFFs stuff we probably shouldn't, but it's usually because we're really struggling with something. But TBH, this doesn't sound like that. I don't know what to make of it. Usually, we turn to our BFF when we don't understand something going on with you; she tried WAM and maybe kinda enjoyed it but didn't quite get it. Did she ask you why you enjoy it?

That's where I checked on her. She needed to come talk to you FIRST. That's a major failure as a partner and a really bad sign if she's not communicating with you first and judging you based on something she heard or cooked up in her head.

I'm also guessing that the BFF's ex did have some issues with underage stuff and that's how she got to the P-word. Then she said it to your ex and...away we go.

3) The number of girls with daddy fetishes is alarmingly high. (This is not one I get...even still.) I wonder if she thinks all those girls are incest lovers?

I don't get this if its slime and pies. Cake mix would not be used to feed the needy....nor would whip cream or shaving cream.

I just feel like there are steps you could take before this.

You should ring up her BFF who's also into kink and eat some pie.