When I was little I used to enjoy charity events like Red Nose Day, Children in need as you would normally get some good mess on TV.

Now I am grown and aware of my fetish it disturbs me how many people will use "charity" as an excuse to involve others in their fetish, often with them being unaware. I have seen posts here recently including offering to get messy at schools and churches etc for charity if they want a stooge. A picture of someone in a full on bondage stocks outside Sainsbury's. This is as disturbing to me as those who farm on Tik Tok and You Tube, telling people it would be a funny challenge to do x y z or when they reach x followers can they do x often wearing x y z.

I mean quite often the behaviour of some here is bad / disturbing but at least everyone here knows it's a fetish etc

I'm definitely in the minority here as shown by the votes, but as someone who isn't into personally getting messy at all- I feel like if you're offering to get messy for charity FOR the charitable aspect and not because you can get brownie points for getting pied in the face- no harm, no foul.

For me the issue here is the person is more likely to be doing it to be pied, wammed in public and personal enjoyment rather than the charity.

Also the person doing the pieing is now partaking in fetish play without consenting rather than throwing a pie at someone for fun.

Omg, at my work like 9 years ago they had a charity event where you could pay to pie coworkers. I was terrified, it really freaked me out and I didn't want to participate or attend. Can't really explain it to this day but yea, if it's your secret thing don't trick people into doing something like that.

This.
I can't effing stand it. It infuriates me. Involving ppl in ur kink without consent and to a public audience who hasn't consented is wrong full stop. No ifs , no buts.

This is a huge issue. There are wammers that have women get pied, sploshed etc. for "charity". The people think they are doing something for charity, when in reality they are just providing spank bank material. This is some predatory bullshit. If you want spank material, be honest with the people performing the acts you are requesting.

Exactly. Its a form of fetish mining

Would love some of the others / no's to comment why and give their side

In 2025? Yes, it's entirely wrong - and wrong, moreover by such a deception being entirely unnecessary.

I have had a similar experience where I was actually asked to take part in a gunge vote and I absolutely panicked. Lucky when I declined the offer it was accepted and they picked someone else
I attended the event and almost disappeared to the toilets when that particular part happened but I stayed and laughed along with the crowd glad it was a male manager getting it
While the evening was a success and raised a lot of money the actual gunging was really disappointing and not just from a wammers point of view
The gunge was more jelly like maybe jelly baff and poured too fast so he hardly got any on him.
A coworker commented to me how much of a let down it was and I had to stop my self from explaining how to make and pour gunge.

That was a number of years ago and I think now I would have volunteered because I can separate my kink from everyday events.
I not only like being messy I like being wet fully clothed and seeing it too and I am comfortable being at a pool party where people including myself get thrown in. Or seeing someone get caked/pied for a birthday
I don't turn in to a raging sex pest in fact I just have fun like everyone else.
If I am swimming alone or with a partner I much more focused on the sensations and feelings

But I could never set up an event or pester someone to get messy. Nor do I actively hunt events so I can attend, if I had a reason to go fine but not just because I heard this bar I have never been in is having a gunge tank.

I say very much so. I'm of the opinion no one should be participating in your fetish without their knowledge. That comes off as creepy to me.

The only way I see charity and WAM mixing is if the charity is set up in a known WAM community where the people there know what the deal is.

For a lot of cases involving "mainstream" situations or content I'd use Dan Savage's "secret perving" standard: the scenario he poses is whether it's ethical for a foot fetishist to work in a shoe store, where they're around feet all day. Answer is yes, IF AND ONLY IF there is absolutely no way for anyone else to know. No comments, no identifiable posts online, nothing. In that case it's no different than getting excited by the memory of someone you met or a picture in a magazine, etc.

So applied to WAM, I figure you can passively view mainstream clips. I think posting those clips here may be problematic lest the original participants stumble across it. It goes without saying that leaving comments and whatnot is unacceptable. If you can handle being in the audience or participating in a live WAM event, I think that's a judgement call.

But actively organizing or farming content crosses a line for me. Even if it's still "secret," it's not passive viewing or participation - it's bringing others in your kink without their consent.

I remember seeing that post before it was deleted... holy crap, the idea of that creeped me out

So yes, an absolute no on setting up any sort of public/charity event like this.

Absolutely and totally wrong, and verging on abusive behaviour. The absolute first rule of fetish is "informed consent is everything", and that definitely includes not deliberately tricking or manipulating innocent people into performing fetish acts.

It is certainly wrong I've been in the sketch comedy game and I avoid ed writing pie/ messy sketches because I know its the wrong thing for me to do.

This is pretty well thought out.

I'd say that premeditation is a big deal in why this is a problem for me. Conspiring secretly to get someone involved in your WAM fetish, especially under the guise of charity, is skeevy.

Now, out in the wild, things happen. If there's a public dunk tank with a hot woman, sure, I might toss a few pitches, but 1) the Wet component of my WAM fetish isn't as strong as the Messy part and 2) I'm not conspiring to get anyone to be an unwilling participant in an activity.

Same thing with pies. Concocting an elaborate ruse to get someone pied? No. Stumbling upon a pie booth at a carnival? Pay the nickel, throw the pie, move on.

Thinking about it in non-WAM terms: is the action exploitive and deceptive?

I like women in bikinis. Let's say our office takes a company cruise and I see an attractive coworker sunbathing in a bikini? A harmless and normal course of human events, although I think companies might generally avoid this anyway to err on the side of caution.

But suddenly things are WAY different if, say, I'm on the committee who plans the vacation and I choose a cruise precisely because of my desire to see certain coworkers in certain attire. Or, if I linger around the pool to leer at my coworkers. Or if I'm head of HR and I decide to make a "funny training video about workplace harassment" that involves bikini-clad women standing up to sexual harassment and "being empowered by being comfortable in their own skins." (Nothing like that has ever happened, right?)

So, yeah, you don't need to run screaming from the conference room if someone from the office gets their face smashed into their birthday cake, but it's really problematic if you're suggesting it as a new office tradition as a secret means to get some titillation.

Also, my dumb ass originally misread the poll and chose "Other," so you can safely strike one of those votes.

So years ago when I was a church youth group I was sort of put in charge of messy nights. Is it wrong looking back, yes and no. Because I had some interest in it, I could come up with games and I was able to see it as it was meant to be, a bit of harmless fun for you teens.

Now, an argument could be made, and I'd agree that it would be wrong now to be involved on the night, planning stages, answering questions etc that's fine. Going along would be an entirely different matter.

That said, not everything has to be spank bank material, and you can enjoy some thing just for the sake of enjoying it. I do the foam run every year (except this year due to surgery) and I can enjoy it on two levels, the actually event and the slightly wam kink. That doesn't mean I walk the course aroused the entire time thinking "corrrrrrrr look at them smashing birds" it's more "hey nice view" as I try to catch my breath.

Doing some thing in order to get off is morally wrong unless at least one person knows.

I think this is the very important nuance to this discussion. If you can separate the kink from the event it's not a problem. If you can't separate the two and you still participate it is ill-advised to say the least.

At the end of the day pies in the face or "sliming" is well-established as a typical prank or slapstick humor, so it is not necessarily sexual. If I were to be asked to be pied for some fundraiser I would probably say no because I am not sure if I can separate the action from my kink, but I can definitely see how that could change as I get older. But like others have said, I would NEVER set up an event where WAM is the performative means of fundraising specifically because I know that the people I would ask probably wouldn't view the actions in the same manner that I do.

Creepy to do so. So fucking creepy.

Personally I say no. Wamming isn't necessarily a sexual thing for me, it is sometimes depending on how it's done. I can have a session with my wife and be really turned on but that is because of her. I can also have a solo session and not have to pleasure myself. I do because I enjoy it. Even horrible messes I like the nervousness, the anticipation and stuff like. I also think anything that raises money for good charities is a good thing. If my work suggested it I'd go along with it, I wouldn't consider it predatory but that is because I can separate my kinks from real life.

That's the point though. Some one above called it 'wam in the wild' like the charity stuff or pranks - the difference is creating a wam fundraiser in a calculated way as a wammer to get ppl to be involved without them knowing whether is trashing them, them trashing you or having ppls gunge themselves to raise awareness/ funds for something. There is a huge difference between 'wam in the wild' and tricking ppl into being involved in our kinks. Using charity as a guise isn't ok even if money is raised, ppl have not given consent or at least informed consent to be part of any kind of kink scene.

Well said...

Wrong to set it up - absolutely yes, undoubtedly, regardless if you are delivering the mess or being the 'victim'

The other side is more complex - Would it be wrong to put your hand up if an audience volunteer was requested, I'm less sure especially if WAM isn't always sexual for you

Unless you can "switch off" your kink, please keep it out of public life.

No means no.
No asking means no.
Yes through deception means no.

(By switch off your kink I mean just that- partaking in some kind off messy event does not mean it has to be sexual. Innocent fun is a genuine thing.

Same as I have a thing for swimsuits, but it does not mean I get a raging stiffy or oogle at other users in the pool. You can just leave it at home.)

There is a huge difference though. I do agree that you can do things like swim etc. But the like for like example here would be if you organize a charity run in swim suits. You would not be doing this because it's funny or different but because you want to be seen or see swimsuits.

If you look.back.over the forums you will see posts like pretend you lost a bet and the waitress has to pie you etc. They don't know it's a kink and it's wrong.

Can see you found the same pic I did such an extreme example of this.

I think some people have missed the point of this topic. Hell, I may be missing that point. The point as I read it is deceiving people into participating in your kink with you under the guise of charity. Just because you enjoy WAM and happen to be at an event where something that could be considered WAM takes place, does not mean that it is fetish related.

On the other hand, if you setup a pie booth or a dunk tank to either get sexual gratification or for you to market to others to get sexual gratification from. Then you take that event and in order to not have to pay models you claim it is a charity event and that money donated will go to charity. Then you do not get releases etc from people, that is the fucked up shit the poll is about. I am not sure if revenge porn laws would cover that, but something needs to. I don't know enough about the "I'd do anything for" style of videos, but I have wondered if they were exactly this.

100% this. Its like the people that churn YouTube and Tik Tok suggesting fun challenges for sub goals etc. Some see it for what it is and do it anyway but a number probably don't. As we know once their is a messy video there is a whole different issue with comments etc.

Now watching a pie or gunge vid on you tube or tik tok fine it's out there. That's a charity event happening. Don't comment weird things ask for them to try other things, or wear certain things. Definitely don't post on every vid you can find what about doing x when you reach y followers. That's like organising a charity event.

The I would do anything goes huge red flag legit wam models at first then random members of the public.

Back then did u know u were a wammer? Were u also a child or were u an adult running the youth stuff? I feel that info paints this story in one way or another, irrespective of if you went along or not. Personally if I learnt a wammer was organising messy activities for a youth group or even a group of adults who didn't know- I would feel very unsettled by it. Yea not every thing is 'spank bank material' as you put it but that's dancing so close to the line in my opinion.

It's wrong unless everyone involved knows. Doesn't mean everyone has to get off on it etc but they should all know at least one of them will