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"How would a Splosher spend Jeff Bezos $$?"
Love you, too
It's been revealed that Amazon chief Jeff Bezos earns $260,000,000 per day.
How would YOU spend a days wages on your fetish if you were in his shoes?
How would YOU spend a days wages on your fetish if you were in his shoes?
Messtival Co-Founder
Well, first I'd write a polite letter to Jeff Bezos, requesting some of his $$$.
To which I would expect a reply, writing out $$$ on a piece of paper in Jeff Bezos's handwriting.
To which I would expect a reply, writing out $$$ on a piece of paper in Jeff Bezos's handwriting.
Zoidberg's Evil Twin said: Well, first I'd write a polite letter to Jeff Bezos, requesting some of his $$$.
To which I would expect a reply, writing out $$$ on a piece of paper in Jeff Bezos's handwriting.
To which I would expect a reply, writing out $$$ on a piece of paper in Jeff Bezos's handwriting.
The premise of the situation is you'd actually BE Jeff (or at least have traded places with him). Unless you took the 'in his shoes' thing literally. In which case, sell the shoes! They're probably worth enough to buy any of the very humble fantasies listed so far.
Messtival Co-Founder
Just for fun, I'd drop 10% of the daily budget hiring these 4 to recreate this that just happened on TV...
but PROPERLY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ9GK4vMhMI
but PROPERLY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ9GK4vMhMI
Messtival Co-Founder
Jeff Bezos interest alone is $28M/day
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2018/08/the-problem-with-bezos-billions/566552/
Also, the average Amazon worker salary every 9 seconds.
http://time.com/money/5262923/amazon-employee-median-salary-jeff-bezos/
I would create an adult WAM theme park and resort. Among the attractions would be the following
Gunge water slides (completely enclosed with massively padded endings)
Chocolate lazy river
Giant Pie hot tubs
Quicksand pits
Mudwresting matchs
all kinds of wave pools
Zorbing
Obstacle courses
(all allergies would be listed and fully disclosed for each "ride")
All rooms would be designed for mess with specialty drains and come equipped with"
plastic sheeting
full wet bar of condiments
latex sheets
Audience participating "shows" in the evenings
World class food for actually eating as well!
Also, cure all diseases and end world hunger.
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2018/08/the-problem-with-bezos-billions/566552/
Also, the average Amazon worker salary every 9 seconds.
http://time.com/money/5262923/amazon-employee-median-salary-jeff-bezos/
I would create an adult WAM theme park and resort. Among the attractions would be the following
Gunge water slides (completely enclosed with massively padded endings)
Chocolate lazy river
Giant Pie hot tubs
Quicksand pits
Mudwresting matchs
all kinds of wave pools
Zorbing
Obstacle courses
(all allergies would be listed and fully disclosed for each "ride")
All rooms would be designed for mess with specialty drains and come equipped with"
plastic sheeting
full wet bar of condiments
latex sheets
Audience participating "shows" in the evenings
World class food for actually eating as well!
Also, cure all diseases and end world hunger.
He's more potato now than man. Twisted and evil.
Buy air conditioning for the Amazon warehouses so the workers can stop collapsing from heat exhaustion.
https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2017/05/30/amaz-m30.html
https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2017/05/30/amaz-m30.html
I'd WAM with two chicks at the same time.
Hahaha!! This!
Just some stoopid ideas off the top of my head:
Pay for an all female adult movie remake of Bugsy Malone. Songs, Suits, Splurge guns and everything.
Open a really fancy restaurant that has a special secret "dessert tasting menu" where diners get to experience some of the world's creamiest desserts squished into their faces and all over their outfits by a team of highly trained waitresses.
Make a TV show that's based around the history of WAM, each episode looking at a particular aspect of it like the history of the pie fight, the history of the british gunge tank, nickelodeon's green slime etc. Each episode could include a Mythbusters style attempt to recreate a classic pie fight or tv gunge tank, with celebrity guests to help!
Pay for a full on Marvel / Star Wars / Lord of the Rings / DC Movieverse / Game of Thrones crossover two part movie event where all of the characters from the aforementioned franchises have to unite to fight a small purple space goblin played by Keith Chegwin. Part one ends with Cheggers snapping his fingers causing half of all of the characters in the shared univese suddenly getting gunged. People are pretty stoked about the sequel.
Pay for half of the world's population to get gunged. I'd be willing to bet Bezos could find 3 and half billion people who'd be willing to get gunged for money. I don't know if this would save capitalism, but Jeff, if you're reading I swear it's worth a shot.
Ok I'll stop now but seriously fuck Jeff Bezos.
Pay for an all female adult movie remake of Bugsy Malone. Songs, Suits, Splurge guns and everything.
Open a really fancy restaurant that has a special secret "dessert tasting menu" where diners get to experience some of the world's creamiest desserts squished into their faces and all over their outfits by a team of highly trained waitresses.
Make a TV show that's based around the history of WAM, each episode looking at a particular aspect of it like the history of the pie fight, the history of the british gunge tank, nickelodeon's green slime etc. Each episode could include a Mythbusters style attempt to recreate a classic pie fight or tv gunge tank, with celebrity guests to help!
Pay for a full on Marvel / Star Wars / Lord of the Rings / DC Movieverse / Game of Thrones crossover two part movie event where all of the characters from the aforementioned franchises have to unite to fight a small purple space goblin played by Keith Chegwin. Part one ends with Cheggers snapping his fingers causing half of all of the characters in the shared univese suddenly getting gunged. People are pretty stoked about the sequel.
Pay for half of the world's population to get gunged. I'd be willing to bet Bezos could find 3 and half billion people who'd be willing to get gunged for money. I don't know if this would save capitalism, but Jeff, if you're reading I swear it's worth a shot.
Ok I'll stop now but seriously fuck Jeff Bezos.
I'd buy Disney and dismantle all of their copyrights and make them public domain. The irony being that Disney primarily made it's BILLIONS off of public domain.
This would also let me "fix" what's become of Star Wars
This would also let me "fix" what's become of Star Wars
He's more potato now than man. Twisted and evil.
HalfPastSlime said: Just some stoopid ideas off the top of my head:
Pay for an all female adult movie remake of Bugsy Malone. Songs, Suits, Splurge guns and everything.
Open a really fancy restaurant that has a special secret "dessert tasting menu" where diners get to experience some of the world's creamiest desserts squished into their faces and all over their outfits by a team of highly trained waitresses.
Make a TV show that's based around the history of WAM, each episode looking at a particular aspect of it like the history of the pie fight, the history of the british gunge tank, nickelodeon's green slime etc. Each episode could include a Mythbusters style attempt to recreate a classic pie fight or tv gunge tank, with celebrity guests to help!
Pay for a full on Marvel / Star Wars / Lord of the Rings / DC Movieverse / Game of Thrones crossover two part movie event where all of the characters from the aforementioned franchises have to unite to fight a small purple space goblin played by Keith Chegwin. Part one ends with Cheggers snapping his fingers causing half of all of the characters in the shared univese suddenly getting gunged. People are pretty stoked about the sequel.
Pay for half of the world's population to get gunged. I'd be willing to bet Bezos could find 3 and half billion people who'd be willing to get gunged for money. I don't know if this would save capitalism, but Jeff, if you're reading I swear it's worth a shot.
Ok I'll stop now but seriously fuck Jeff Bezos.
Pay for an all female adult movie remake of Bugsy Malone. Songs, Suits, Splurge guns and everything.
Open a really fancy restaurant that has a special secret "dessert tasting menu" where diners get to experience some of the world's creamiest desserts squished into their faces and all over their outfits by a team of highly trained waitresses.
Make a TV show that's based around the history of WAM, each episode looking at a particular aspect of it like the history of the pie fight, the history of the british gunge tank, nickelodeon's green slime etc. Each episode could include a Mythbusters style attempt to recreate a classic pie fight or tv gunge tank, with celebrity guests to help!
Pay for a full on Marvel / Star Wars / Lord of the Rings / DC Movieverse / Game of Thrones crossover two part movie event where all of the characters from the aforementioned franchises have to unite to fight a small purple space goblin played by Keith Chegwin. Part one ends with Cheggers snapping his fingers causing half of all of the characters in the shared univese suddenly getting gunged. People are pretty stoked about the sequel.
Pay for half of the world's population to get gunged. I'd be willing to bet Bezos could find 3 and half billion people who'd be willing to get gunged for money. I don't know if this would save capitalism, but Jeff, if you're reading I swear it's worth a shot.
Ok I'll stop now but seriously fuck Jeff Bezos.
Yes, I'd also spend that money to reanimate Cheggers. I spent an evening with him once, and he really is the most infectiously joyful entity to be around.
I also love that this has essentially descended into a FUCK BEZOS/WORKER EXPLOITATION/EXTREME INEQUALITY thread.
That turns me on just as much as sea of slimy boobs!
Messtival Co-Founder
In response to an earlier poster, I thought public embarrassment forced Amazon to a/c his warehouses.
And we forget the corrosive work culture revealed by the FTFNYT that he even found repulsive.
But I leave you with the headline in last Sunday's FTFNYT "Tying Behemoths to Stagnant Pay and Low Growth" "'Amazon Effect" Is Eyed" "central bankers explore outsize influence of a few employers.'"
Dateline Jackson Hole, Wy.
Hookay
And we forget the corrosive work culture revealed by the FTFNYT that he even found repulsive.
But I leave you with the headline in last Sunday's FTFNYT "Tying Behemoths to Stagnant Pay and Low Growth" "'Amazon Effect" Is Eyed" "central bankers explore outsize influence of a few employers.'"
Dateline Jackson Hole, Wy.
Hookay
Yeah...just gonna leave this here for all you thinking the workers are going to get something good out of all this in the end.
https://quillette.com/2018/08/28/automation-and-the-death-knell-of-the-american-workforce/
https://quillette.com/2018/08/28/automation-and-the-death-knell-of-the-american-workforce/
He's more potato now than man. Twisted and evil.
This bullshit article said: On the other hand, as a publicly owned and profit-maximizing business, Amazon is justifiably trying to save on wages by automating its workforce.
Tell you what, how about Bezos spends a little of his $260 million on automating AND paying the same former workers a living wage.
https://newrepublic.com/article/150506/universal-basic-income-future-of-pointless-work
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