Say somebody had two tubs of 48oz ice cream and wanted to achieve that WAM Shorts ice cream texture. Are we talking overnight on the counter or is it a 30 minute o 1-2 hour deal? Asking for a friend.

Never done it but I'd imagine a good few hours to fully melt that much to liquid.

I found some advice on how long it takes to melt ice cream here:
https://umd.net/forums/advice-on-ice-cream

Ok let's see!

I've found that there is usually a frozen 'core' in the middle of the ice cream, as the outer edges will melt first. I've gone as far as putting the whole thing in the microwave, but you must be careful not to 'cook' the outer areas. Using a defrost cycle works, but go slowly and you'll still have that frozen core when you're done. Leaving it even longer will allow that center part to thaw out, but the outer ice cream acts like insulation and keeps it frozen for a long while.

Update: Overnight worked perfectly. No core or ingredient separation or anything.