Some bakeries use wooden spikes to hold the layers in place, so please think twice before smashing someone's face into a cake.

But could happen to a consenting model in a WAM video as well!
Thanks for the warning, Marc! Best to check those cakes inside first!

Fuck me. That's why you should always tell the bakery you're buying a cake from that you intend to smash it in someone's face. Takes just a few seconds to find out if they do this or to ask them to make a cake without them. Thank you so very, very much for sharing this

I would love to see the look on the persons face at the bakery when you tell them this.

Holy hell, this is horrifically disturbing to think about happening to someone. I never knew this was a thing, so thank you for bringing it to OUR collective attention.

PS - I still remember back in college when a poor sorority pledge was pied in the face with only a pie plate full of runny canned whipped cream yet the force of a full-on punch behind it.

Poor girl's nose was broken/bleeding because the guy didn't understand basic physics.

Accidents will happen, but especially in our community we should do everything we can to mitigate and avoid obvious ones.

I've bought literally hundreds of cakes over the past few years and I've never once seen spikes inside!

Honestly, don't buy expensive cakes at a bakery. The cheap ones at Walmart, Costco, and others work just fine for our purposes. I guarantee you the underpaid bakery folks at Walmart are doing one layer, max.

This is what a lovely little Walmart sheet cake with whipped icing will do if applied correctly. (I remove the green frosting balloon as I don't like the aesthetic. The pink and blue ones stay.)

When Zoey did the mother of all cake face plants for us, we made the cake ourselves, with three layers and lots of butter cream frosting to hold it all together. It was like a cake pillow.

Related thread from a few years back: https://umd.net/forums/actual-message-on-a-paris-baguette-cake

Never seen any spikes in cakes or pies we have used.

The biggest danger is tin foil plates, because if you leave the tin foil on because there is no solid base this can cause cuts to the skin.

The only other pie peril I can recall was in 1994, when Lenny ordered over 200 pies to be delivered to my house from the local bakery, and I did not have enough cool storage space to store them all from the Florida heat. I had 4 fridges and freezers and used up half a dozen other coolers, but even then I could only store about 100 pies in cool areas, so Lenny decided to store some of the overflow pies in my garage overnight. The next day we found insects all over some of the pie boxes. I thought I had dumped all the insect ridden pies, but during one pie scene when I picked up a pie to throw it I ended up covered in ants. Luckily I did not throw any of these pies at the girls.

Oh yeah, one other hazard with pies can be using the wrong kind of food dyes to color the pies. One year Lenny and I had a pie shoot with green and blue pies, and some of our blonde models were mad because their hair had turned green or blue and it did not wash out at first, and they had to wash their hair 3-4 times over several hours before their hair color returned to normal.

A funny but true story regarding pies is, never lie to your boyfriend about going to a pie shoot, because it can have consequences. We had one model who used to do pie erotica shoots because she enjoyed making those videos, but she had a boyfriend who hated her to do adult modeling, so every time she attended our pie shoots she would tell her boyfriend that she was going to the mall for 4 hrs to go shopping with her girlfriends. However, she loved to do Lenny's pie sitting videos and ended up with cream pie in places where the sun don't shine. Lenny was running behind schedule, so the shoots were running late and the girl had to rush and leave and did not have the time to shower very thoroughly. Later that evening her boyfriend ended up finding the cream pie when they were in bed, so she was busted. But it all worked out in the end (ha ha) and she later dumped that boyfriend.

MK

Safeway - not amused.
Ralph's - Amused, added extra whipped cream. Thank you laughing person at Ralph's.
Costco - "Oh for heaven's sake, make your own!" (never asking them again)
Coco's Pies - REALLY not amused. They went out of business ages ago (and good riddance).

As far as danger goes:
In a session a few years back, we bought pies from a local grocery (Jewel) that, by the time we got into it, was not-quite-thawed. Getting whacked in the nose with the frozen core of a par-thawed pie is not fun. So thaw those projectiles, kids!

For the record, the coconut cream pies I bought for Creamy were "for a pie fight". I left out the part that she'd be naked. I figured they didn't need to know that. Honestly, the guy behind the counter must have heard it all before, because his expression didn't change at all when he said "They'll be ready tomorrow morning". There you go.