Hello All
So, I need some input from the experts(all of you)
Weird, but true story:
A couple of days ago I was talking with an acquaintance of mine; somehow, conversation worked its way to fetishes(it started by talking about shoes, the word "fetish" came up, and so on)Anyway, we were talking about how sexual fetishes start, based on some recent research I read about, and we each shared our fetish(I told her about pies to the face) Since it was just an acquaintance(though she is hot) I wasn't really worried about "blowing it" or anything like that. But it was her reaction- her eyes got huge, and she said, "I would totally let you do that to me!"
So, OK- here's where I need advice: As far as hitting her with a pie, her only concern is her eyes burning(e.g. with shaving cream). But considering where we are going to have to end up doing this, it can't be something that is extremely messy, or will smell bad later if it gets missed in the clean up. So, essentially, I am not sure what material to go with; one that sticks, easy clean up, no smell.
I know, tall order. But I wanted to ask all of you for your thoughts, and I'd take it from there.
Thanks everyone,
C

it's fine to use cream or dairy with a bit of planning- much nicer on eyes and the smell isn't a problem if you plan to use shower gel with real lemon (original source is great) and use lemon juice in the wash when washing clothes too. real lemons can be squeezed over hair while showering... basically lemon works wonders. Also don't let anything needing to be washed linger more than an hour or so for the easiest time possible getting rid of it

"A pie"? You have managed to get this far - why short change yourself or cut corners now? Seems like it would be a huge waste to get everything set up, she takes one half-full pie of that disappearing 'no-mess' foam stuff, cleans it up in a few seconds and you two part ways.

Crap, I would say - savor the moment for a bit, talk with her more, possibly something to do before, during, after the session, plan your time - maybe you two can get away for a night or weekend at a nice spot. Save up some cash...10, 15, 20 pies? Heck, sell a kidney if you have to! Make it something special and fun.

Obviously, at some point, it would be good to bring up her fetishes and what you might be able to do for her - lol. Maybe even combine both into one session.

Good Luck

To me cool whip and pudding has been the best. The thing is, you don't know where things will go. With food it is more safe so to say. Easy to clean up and if you are worried about the clothes just plan on tossing them. Piece of cake. In my mind shaving cream does not give the same effect as a regular pie. There is a part of me that says since it is an acquaintance and there is no threat of anything go for what you want. You don't know when you will get a chance to do it again. Also, don't just do one, go all out. You need to participate too. Biggest thing, set boundaries ahead of time. A little harmless fun can get out of hand fast and the experience can be ruined.

Only in my wildest dreams would a female have that kind of reaction. Go for it in a big way, brother. Did she seem like she was titillated by the idea? Maybe you found a unicorn.

Keep it in your pants, guys. It's an acquaintance who said she'd take one pie. Don't talk this dude into blowing it.

Sound advice from Regis. Closet, don't screw this up by going nuts with it. Pie the woman well with one pie and see where it goes from there.

At the same time... I don't know. It's interesting that this woman knows it's a fetish for you but she's still up for it.

What kind of obligation does this create for you in return, by the way? Make sure her kink isn't decapitating guys during sex or anything like that.

Hey all, thanks for your input.
The situation with this woman, it's all under control. We go way back- I call her an acquaintance because we don't "hang out", or text, but we know each other decently, and we have a good understanding of each other.

I am only going with one pie; that was the arrangement, I'm not going to change it on her unexpectedly. If she likes it, well then I'll go from there.

Her fetish is something I'm not obligated to do, (and we discussed this) because it involves name calling during the sex act. So, no worries.

So, back to my original query about what I'm not so sure about- the pudding and cool whip sounds like something she'd be good with, but doesn't cool whip get kind of runny? I do want something thick, that will stick. That's my main goal. And something that won't bother her eyes, that was her one condition.

Anyway, thanks all, and keep the input coming.
C

Well, Regis - I was going to say 'Don't be such a stick in the mud!' - lol. I mean ...guy ...girl ...discussing sexual fetishes ...she offers hers ....he offers his ...she agrees to do his. So that seems like a lead pipe smack in the head saying 'go for it!' to me.

Though conversely - what do I know! The last time I played this game was with a girl I was dating. After a night of 'romance' we wound up talking about fantasies, so I said, 'why don't we each write down 6, 8, 10 things we want to do, we can exchange them and we'll pick a few things off the others list. I said, 'You could write the same thing 10x over and be assured of doing it, write things mild to wild, I don't care.'

So a week or so goes by, excitement builds, we finally exchange our lists and I start reading through hers..."Fix the squeaky board at the top of the stairs. Make the toilet stop filling in the middle of the night. Put a new sprayer on the garden hose... and on and on through a whole list of 'honey do...'"

CRAP! I grab my unopened list - containing things like 'have a mud wrestling match at the lake on some summer afternoon ... 5 gallons of nuru massage gel ...chocolate sauce and whipped cream wrestling match ... a threesome involving any of the above... and quickly threw it in the fireplace. Poof - up in smoke!

I know some producers can get good results with Cool Whip, but I've given up on using it to pie my wife. It kind of just falls off leaving her face just a little moist. I've tried tweaking the recipe with pudding but it never seemed to give good coverage.
We now just get cream pies from the Amish market every now and then which fit the bill for me.

Well? Did you fix any of the things?

This is definitely NOT my experience. I've always had great luck with the coverage of Cool Whip. I'm assuming you're not talking about the stuff you squirt out of a can, but rather the stuff in a tub that's stored in a freezer - helps to let it thaw a bit though.

Yeah its the stuff in the tub. I've tried thawing it a little, I've tried thawing it a lot, no luck. Maybe its some quirk of the atmosphere, my wife's make-up, or my too gentle placement of the pie? Who knows?

If you want cool whip to actually stick to someone don't thaw it fully. I found out by accident that if you leave it half frozen and blend it with an electric mixer it has a really nice consistency. Of course that means it will be a little cold which some people might not enjoy. If you want it warm and thick then you have to mix something into it (fluff, frosting, pudding). Cool whip by itself just doesn't stick well.

Cool Whip mixed with Sour Cream certainly sticks VERY well:

Hey Everyone, thank you for all the input and help. It's appreciated. I am curious about that cool whip and sour cream mixture. Looks thick- did you just mix that with a mixer; what does it taste like, it sounds like an odd combo. But that coverage, that's seriously A+.

I DID mix it up with an electric mixer (tub shown below after mixing). I don't imagine it tastes all that great, but I did not taste it. I didn't actually make a traditional pie out of it - unless you consider the bowl to be a very LARGE pie

If you are anywhere near New York state we have Sam's Club grocery stores. They carry buckets of whipped icing which make awesome pies. Buckets come frozen and you have to let them thaw out for about 24 hours or so before they make great cream pies. Just a suggestion.

Let's agree to disagree.

Rich, is that just straight up cool whip with a pie crust? Did you do anything to it? Wow, that's great coverage in those pics.

If you're anywhere near Central Florida, we have "Wal Mart" stores. They carry large boxes of brownie mix and syrup and cheap boxes of cake mix. Just a suggestion.

Add some powdered sugar. It'll serve as a binder and also make it taste (probably) a little bit like cheesecake.

Dude if you're giving her one pie .... go to a fancy bakery! Buy one fabulous rich creamy and beautiful pie!!! Strawberries, chocolate, coconut ... whatever!! Don't make some half assed whip cream pie! Make it the best and tastiest experience possible with one perfect pie! She will love it!!! And the size of one of those is like 3 home made type pies!

This is one of my first experiences from before I was really active on umd.... it was so fucking hot! Took pie love to a new level! It's obviously something for special occasions only, but I'd say this is a special occasion for ya! The Italian bakery pies we got were like $13 each. But totally worth it. One of them could literally mess you up from head to toe haha! https://umd.net/blogs/i/round_3_fancy_pies/return/%2Fprofile%2Fi%2Fmypierogative%2Fsection%2Fblogs%2F

Yep, if you mix Cool Whip right, it works great just by itself.

I've experimenting with "adding" other substances to it but none really improve it. (Aside from pudding, which is always great and changes the look.) Although substituting frosting is pretty good, but you have to make sure it's softened.

Seconding Maria if you get one shot, why not make it a nice, fluffy bakery cream pie??

But I would also add to the chorus here saying Cool Whip has always been reliably sticky and great, in my experience. Just whip it up before putting it in the pie crust (I like graham cracker). Get the big tub and it'll make a whole lot of mess, even just with one pie. It smells good, tastes good, and leaves no residue.

Have fun!!

I'm going to agree with Kittenish and Maria. Splash out on a bakery pie, or at least a good supermarket pie. It'll be far more memorable, and she'll know that you cared enough to use the best ammo available. Plus it'll taste good, and feel more decadent. Presumably your best-case scenario when this is over is if she says "That was amazing! Let's do it again but with, like, 20 pies!" The odds of that happening are much better if the pie tastes good and isn't freezing cold.

With that in mind, make sure the pie is properly thawed first. Let it sit at room temperature for a few hours.

The gist of this, of course, is not to overthink it

Whoa, that looks amazing...looks like I'll be heading to the Sam's Club in NYC this week

In my last shoot, I used 3 Cool Whip pies (completely thawed to room temp) on plastic plates with positive results. It was the 1st round of the show, so I was just trying to get a simple face full of pie, knowing it wouldn't completely stick, and leaving room for the shaving cream pie barrage to come

Closet, I would say 3 pies are as good as 1 in terms of your arrangement- it's just a little more than what was agreed upon, but triple the pie splatter!

Looks like Thursday night is the night. Talked to her yesterday, she's actually excited for it. She wants banana cream. I'll update afterwards.
Thanks everyone for the input.

So, last night was the night.
I appreciate everyone's input. I basically just got banana cream pudding, cool whip and threw in some powdered sugar, mixed them together.
She loved it. She laughed her ass off. She said she gets it, that it was so smooth, and just a little cold- not too bad, but cooler than room temp- she could see how it would be a turn on for people. She was glad she did it.
Went well. Thanks again everyone.
There are other details that I didn't expect, but this is not the place for those, I'm sure there are people who are wondering. Imagination is a good thing.
Take care all