This video is short because I was afraid of getting caught so I was in a hurry. I was talking with a guy about exhibitionism and the next dare I lost I had to experience it for myself. I was to pie myself in the face with a marshmallow fluff pie while only wearing the smallest, brightest, swim suit I owned. (I bought it for a trip to Brazil several years ago and it's now way too small.) I have to admit, there's nothing like the rush of wearing a tight, bright red swim suit while sitting down for the camera, spreading your tree trunk legs wide open, thighs out, and pieing yourself with the ultimate sticky pie that would be impossible to just wipe away outside in nature where any one of my neighbors could watch me. You can hear dogs barking and cars drive by.

So here's the real question. If you were my neighbor and you watched me pie myself with a sticky cream pie on camera, would you come over to say hello?