This must be up there with the slowest wank ever! Extra care was taken to take my time and enjoy the ride--partly because fast motion means poor captures, and it was all about the captures back then! Lots of red/brown clay is rubbed all over for total coverage--no orifice is spared filling.

To face facts: I'm now a middle-aged man that no one is going to pay to see. Besides, I'm not interested in the money--there are many more ways to make money faster. I'm been turned on by mud and getting dirty for a long time, and seeing content on UMD made me comfortable that its just a kink, and kinks are good, right!? Whilst I don't want money, UMD has costs to cover--hosting isn't as free as the free-spirited clientele on this site. So I'm going to release some longer videos in addition to the shorter ones that are over 10 minutes long, so that I can kid myself that it's helping in some small way for UMD to get a few pennies back.